Replacement Sewer Craig Versus Replacement Isabella Batgirl
By: I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Unfortunately due to age restrictions, you can't ship them.
REPLACEMENT SEWER CRAIG VERSUS REPLACEMENT ISABELLA BATGIRL.
We join our long haired sobbing gramps, Morty Gloom, aimlessly wandering the streets of Gotham. Just like Ben, Gwen, Doctor Animo, Vilgax, and every other character did in Ben 10 fanfictions by Pink Rose Garden. Such similarities. Such hilarious similarities.
Batgirl showed up, drooling lack of brain and all, and started panting like a bitch in heat. "Ooh, do I spy a sexy Silver Fox! My ovaries are tingling with forbidden sins."
She giggled and ran stupidly straight at him with no other lines of dialogue or sense, then stared at him, blushing. She toed the ground, looking bashful and childishly naive and therefore vulnerable to being preyed upon. "Um, Hi Mr. Gloom. What'cha doin'?"
"Crying," sobbed The Weeper. He placed a tissue to his eyes, letting loose with loud, wild sobs.
Batgirl bit her lip. She tilted her head back. "That's hot." She almost came."Oooh!" she squealed. "My naughty sinful bits are throbbing with the desire to be slapped."
"You know we kinda do this every week. Did you notice?" he asked.
"Not really. I have a low functioning brain now and can't be arsed to question anything, no matter how bluntly stupid it is," she said. She stuck her finger up her left nostril and twisted it, eyes crossed. "Me am Batgurl! Boobies. Bat-boobies. Herp derp. Oops, I pooped a little."
"I wish you could call me Daddy, but then everyone would know OP is a pedo who acts outrageously condescending toward other pedos and incest fetishists, despite the fact that much of their old pedophile incest fanfic can still be found online in various fandoms. Funny how some people hurl the word hypocrite around at everyone else without realizing they are the textbook definition of it."
One word exploded inside Batgirl's empty head. "DADDY!" Batgirl screamed. "I was supposed to be home before 7pm!" She ran home.
Her dad, who was never named nor described in any detail, sent her upstairs with a scolding. "I hope you weren't running around out there like a crazy girl with those darn caped weirdos! You know I don't want you involved in none of that!"
"You never let me do anything fun!" Barbara, whose real name was also never used in the story for some strange reason, burst into tears and threw herself on her bed.
She took out her phone, searching various hady dating websites until she found the man of her dreams, Mortimer Gloom. She messaged him excitedly.
"its so hawt when u cray sexy tears daddy grampy"
"Oh, hey. How did you get this number?"
"i seen u on gerontophilia dot cum lol XD ur face is so toothless"
"Do you want to see my undies?"
"hells yah ill show u my bobbles"
"Sweet deal. Come to the front door in five minutes."
Barb gasped and squealed. She waited five minutes then ran downstairs and threw open the door.
The Joker shot her in the spine.
Mortimer was standing next to him, sobbing. "I get off on crying, sorry." He blew his nose loudly. "Who saw this one coming? Ha, ha coming. I'm doing that right now." He sobbed harder.
"Refuge in audacity. I love it," Joker said, snapping a picture.
Then he and Weeps started making out on the floor next to Barbara's body as she sobbed.
"Bull shiiiiit! I never want to be in another story ever again!" Barbara screamed. She got up and wiped the fake blood off herself and stormed out to complain about sexism in writing. "MISOGYNISTS! FUCK YOU ALL!"
"Oooh, baby, we wish!" the creepy men cooed at her. Then they went back to touching undies and making out and crying and laughing.
Batman kicked in the window, looking pissed.
"The door was open, you know," yelled Jim, who had appeared from the kitchen doorway holding a cup of coffee in one hand.
"How DARE you cheat on me," Batman growled at Joker.
"It's not like that, Batsy, darling, sweetie pie! I thought we could have a threesome," Joker said innocently.
"Did somebody say threesome?" Harley Quinn said, sticking her head through the open door. She gaped when she saw her fan preferred lover trapped between Batman and some old crying guy minor character. "OH, WHAT THE FUCK? YOU'RE HAVING A THREESOME WITHOUT ME? HOW COULD YOU!" She burst into enraged screams before jumping onto the Joker and trying to bash his head in with her trust mallet. Batman tried to fight her off, but she was full of female spite. Weeper just kept on weeping.
Batman and Harley decided to work together to beat the shit out of Joker and Weeper while Jim sipped his coffee and recoded everything on his phone to upload to the GCPD's YouTube account later. "This will get so many views!"
THE END
