IN THE SUN

Chapter 46: Roses Mean Remember

But come, it did. I hadn't seen the group in five days, the longest I'd gone without seeing at least one of them since everything happened. It was a Sunday, and a beautiful one, at that; there was a cool breeze that gently swept through the city, stirring up the leaves that it had brought down. The sky was cloudless.

We met for lunch first; Eddie joined us. We talked about what our lives were going to be like: Sissy had enough money to send Annie to the Gatt School in Tacoma, and she would be moving there, as well, to be closer to her sister. Steve was going with them. As for Emery and Cathy, they still hadn't decided what to do. I told them all about my bed and breakfast, and about leaving soon.

I brought the photos I'd developed from Rose Red. Everyone wanted to see them; they gathered around me to see. There was a picture taken of the entire group on the Friday we'd left for Rose Red; I remember Joyce asking a bystander if they could take it. The next was of me, Nick, Cathy and Vic waiting to go to Rose Red; me and Pam the first night at the house, linking arms and making faces; Joyce grinning for the camera as she fiddled with her equipment; Annie and Sissy playing with Annie's dolls; Pam and Vic dancing; me and Nick dancing; Emery sulking. There wasn't a dry eye at the table, and yet we were laughing, too. Pictures of the house followed, and then, there again was the picture of me and Nick at the breakfast table, the happy couple celebrating the news of children. I hadn't even touched the photos since the day I got back from getting them developed and Chris had gone through them with me. I sat there and stared at the picture, and again, my throat began to tighten. I sniffled, and next to me, Eddie let out a little whimper as he let his head down on my shoulder. I grabbed onto him, not sure who was supporting whom.

"Liza..." Emery touched my hand.

"Hmm?" I looked up at him, but his face was blurry through the tears that had started to form. I was unraveling. I could feel it in my heart, hear it in my voice; I knew my face was beginning to crumple and give me away. Some days were easier than others.

"I.... I don't know what to say. Other than, 'I'm so sorry.' And I mean it, truly." Emery put his arms around me as I finally lost it.

The six of us finished our lunch; I composed myself and we drove together, in two cars, out to the site. Again, as we pulled in, I could feel her staring at us. It was uncomfortable, and I shuddered as I stepped out of my car. Eddie, Annie and Sissy climbed out, having ridden with me, and we didn't have to wait more than five minutes before Steve, Emery and Cathy pulled in behind us in Cathy's car. When they got out, I saw Steve had a bouquet of roses with him that he passed out amongst our group.

I stood at the house, staring up at the cold monster that stared back just as fiercely. There was a sign up on the side of the house: New Tech Star Condominium Development Coming Soon! Annie came to stand next to me. I could hear Cathy's voice on her other side.

"Roses mean.....?"

"Roses.... mean..... r-remember," Annie smiled, satisfied.

"That's right," Cathy smiled at the girl.

I'd dreamed of Nick the first night I met him. He came to me in the solarium of Rose Red, kissed my mangled cheek and told me the same thing. It was as if it were an omen. If only I'd seen it then. If only I knew then what I knew now. If only I'd listened to Chris. If only.... if only.... I shook my head to clear the fog. Don't look back, Nick had told me. Sometimes it was all I wanted to do. It took every ounce of strength I had to keep from turning around and running back to get him.

"Monday?" Sissy sighed.

"Monday, it is," Steve nodded. "The wrecking ball arrives promptly at seven."

Annie was the first to approach the house. Cathy broke away to go with her, but Emery stopped her. "No, no, it's okay-- I'll keep an eye on her."

"Oh," Cathy smiled at him. "Okay."

Crouching down, Annie put out her rose, and Emery sat next to her. He put down his rose, too, his gloved hand giving the illusion of a full set of fingers. He smiled at her. "Who's that one for, Annie?"

She said nothing, only smiled.

"I like your dress. It's very pretty."

Her smile fleshed out into a grin and she covered her face with her hands.

I got down on my knees next to them. "For you, baby," I whispered, giving the rose a quick kiss. "I love you." Setting it down with the others, I got back to my feet and looked at Steve. "Can you still reach Annie with your mind?"

"No, but I don't have to," he told me, smiling at Annie. "Yeah, we... we communicate pretty well, don't we, Annie?"

Glancing up at him over her shoulder, she grinned, rising to her feet and spinning around to hug him. The rest of the flowers were placed, and as I hugged my friends, I became fearful as to when I'd see them again.

"Oh, we'll see each other again, Liza," Sissy smiled at me reassuringly. "Steve and Annie and I may be moving to Tacoma, and you may be moving to Avalon, but it doesn't mean none of us can visit each other. And who knows...." She grinned at Steve. "Maybe we'll have to come out and stay at your new little bed and breakfast sometime." There was a general noise of agreement from the rest of the group.

"That would be amazing," I smiled, sighing.

I slid into the chair with a groan, leaning my head in my arms on the tabletop. It was still so strange to see my kitchen empty. I didn't like it. Having all my things packed away in boxes didn't help, either.

"Oh, Eddie, I just don't know what I'm going to do about building this damned thing. I mean, I don't know anything about that type of stuff much less running my own bed and breakfast......"

"Are you starting to have your doubts?"

Lifting my head to rest my chin in my hand, I gazed across the table at my brother. "A-at this point, I think my life is just one giant doubt, man, you know?"

Eddie chuckled. "Well. I think I might have something that may or may not alleviate some amount of stress for you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Come on." Getting to his feet, he motioned for me to follow him, and I went into the first guest bedroom down the hall, where he had all his things stashed. Opening up his backpack, he fished through and pulled out a CD case and handed it to me as he began to boot up his laptop. To Liza, with love from Eddie was scrawled out across the CD's face.

"What's this?"

"Remember that dream you had, the one of Nick where you and the kids were at the bed and breakfast?"

"Yeah."

"And remember me asking all those technical questions?"

"Yeah, yeah?"

He took the disk from my hand and popped it into the CD drive. It whirred to life, opening up a new window with a few files and things inside. Eddie clicked on the first icon, opening it up for viewing.

It was a blueprint, a floor-plan, of the first floor to a large house. When I studied it further, I discovered it was the first floor to not a large house, but instead, a small hotel. Down in the corner, there was a title: 'Liza's Landing.' Below it, in slightly smaller type, it read: 'Designed by Eddie Leroux, for his sister, Liza Hardaway.' My heart began to cave as it dawned on me.

"This is.... essentially why I've been losing sleep at night."

"You... designed......" I sputtered, overwhelmed with my brother's gift. The tears kicked in again.

"Well... yeah, sis. I figured it was the least I could do."

We filed through each floor-- there were only three-- but each one of them were pretty nicely sized. There would be a total of fifty guest rooms: twenty on the second and third floors each, and the final ten on the first floor, along with my personal quarters, which were located at the back of the hotel. It included three bedrooms, two full bathrooms, a small sitting area and a little kitchen.

"Eddie, I don't know what to say. This is.... just.... this is amazing. This is beautiful. This is... too much."

"Hey," he laughed. "What? Come on, what else was there? What, were you going to design it?"

For the first time in a month, I laughed. I actually, honestly, truly laughed. And I realized something then, something it'd taken me four weeks to forget: it felt good. A hand flew to my mouth, as if trying to get Jack back in his box. It didn't help.

"No," I shook my head, recovering from my new discovery. "I don't think I'd be any help. I think the roof would cave in less than a day. I'd lose customers faster than you could blink." I took a second to let it all soak in. "Oh, Eddie, I... I don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you a thousand times. This... this is the greatest thing." I hugged my brother tight.

"Anything for either of my sisters," Eddie kissed my cheek. "And speaking of sisters..."

"Uh-oh," I smiled.

"Amanda's gonna give you some business pointers. I mean-- you already know a few things about working a bed and breakfast, so I think you'll be fine, but... you know, if you have any questions, Amanda's gonna be able to steer you in the right direction."

"Oh, awesome," I sighed with relief. "Yeah, that-- that'll be a huge help."

That night, as I changed into my pajamas and began to crawl into the air mattress I'd set up the day I'd packed the sheets, I realized that the movers would be arriving on our doorstep at ten the next morning, which meant it was my last night in my house. I gazed up at the ceiling, watching the moonbeams dance, just as I'd done every night for nearly two years, and something inside began to ache. It was then I'd remembered Nick's words. Don't be absurd! You've never been without me. I've always been with you, my love. You reach for me every morning and what you don't realize is that I'm always there.

"Nick?"

Silence.

"I know you can hear me, baby."

Still, nothing. But I was convinced. I knew he could hear me. So I kept talking. And I never stopped.

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MUSIC:

The song "Ghosts" by Dirty Vegas inspired me a lot. Liza is so desperate to rebuild her life. "All I ever wanted wanted was a place out by the sun. To see the world go by and take each day as it comes. All I ever wanted was a chance to catch my breath. To see the world go by and lay my ghosts to rest. Give me a chance to catch my breath so I can lay my ghosts to rest." It's obviously a play on words, considering Liza is a medium, but she is so tormented by the death of her husband that all she wants is a chance to breathe and recover.