"And so that is how they asked-bribed me to tell you," Starrk finished from where he was sitting next to Gabriel's bed two days later. Granted, the bribe was only about $20 Canadian dollars, "and I am starting to think I shouldn't have taken the money."
"Why?" Gabriel asked, giving Starrk a look. "Is it really all that bad?"
"…Yeah," Starrk confessed, still hating the cold tone he was hearing from his older brother. "Because I'm the one who had to break your heart again. It sucks."
Gabriel sighed.
Starrk was right…
"But you told me the facts and that is all I need to move on," he knew it was foolish to think that he stood a chance with Vicente anyhow. This news was somewhat welcome honestly. The last few days, his mind had been wrapped up with worry about all the various aspects of a relationship- and even if he was ready to allow himself be involved in one again so soon. But it worked itself out for the better.
I will be alone now.
Just like I prefer.
Funny how I always end up back where I started.
But I suppose that is in my nature isn't it?
Right?
Or… am I wrong for once?
"Starrk," Gabriel began, his mind running over everything he heard in the last hour since he woke. "Did…I do the right thing?" It was honest hard to tell. Here he was with a new life, a whole lot more power, but… he was still alone. It didn't matter, but he… hadn't meant to ruin everyone else's lives along with his own. But back then, would I have really cared?
… No.
I wouldn't have.
And why do I care now?
Have I become too-
"I think you did," Starrk murmured, a hand stroking his chin in thought. "You did. I don't know what you're thinkin' right now, but I know that you did what was right. Sure, things didn't turn out properly or whatever- but thanks to you, we don't have to obey anyone but ourselves."
"Is… that right?" Gabriel hadn't thought of it that way. Since Aizen was gone, the Espada had no one to follow and could do what they wanted. He knew he had come to this revelation before, but now it was completely true. But… he couldn't help but wonder…
"Do you think they all hate me?" He was sure they did. Pagan and Coeur especially and honestly, he kind of hated himself as well. "I know we are all free now- for real, but I-"
"No," Starrk smiled a little, "I don't think they do. I think they're angry, but…"
"But what?"
"I think they are grateful they have another life," Starrk said simply, lacing his fingers together in his lap. "When…Lily and I died, I… I felt like I had wasted my life. My second. Granted, I don't know anything about who I was as a human; but as I was disappearing, I wished I could do it over. And you gave us all that chance."
He watched Gabriel sit with his words in silence a minute who in turn said, "I… guess you are right. I… over the centuries have come to fear death. It is the only thing I fear and I… had to find a way to keep from facing it. And I suppose that we… all have fear. We're hollows after all. Pain and fear make who we are and I… did give us another chance, didn't I?"
He saw Starrk smile and wanted to smiled a bit as well, but…
"We can't be truly happy in this life, can we?" Gabriel observed, glancing down at his own hands, "I… ruined it in a way."
"Yes, a bit," Starrk agreed, "but without you, we would be dead, cowboy. So, it's a small price to pay in the long run. We get to continue our journey in these three universes and the best thing about all of this, we don't know what is next. Will we become ghosts again and then hollows once more? Or what will happen to us when we leave our false forms?"
"I…" Gabriel began, "think we won't change when our human forms die of old age… I don't think. Anyhow… you don't hate me? I mean, that thing with…Jean. As much as I don't like the fact my sis kissed someone… Are you okay?"
Starrk nodded.
He was.
It was actually better this way as he wouldn't have to tell Lyneth that he felt uncomfortable with the idea of dating a man. (Although, he knew that she already knew and they would have to discuss it later) But none the less, the news Hudson delivered was welcome.
"So, are you feeling all right?" Starrk asked after a long silence. He was still a bit concerned that Gabriel slept for so long, "you were out for three days."
"I am," Gabriel yawned, leaning back on the pillows on his bed. "You told me that when I woke up."
"Oh, I did, didn't I?"
"Yeah. You did. You just wanted to change the subject. Now, can you tell me something else?"
"Sure," Starrk hoped it wasn't going to be anything he couldn't answer, but he could tell something else was bothering Gabriel. "What is it?"
"…what are we going to do now?"
Starrk paused.
That was a huge question and he really didn't know where to begin.
He leaned back in the desk chair and stroked his chin once again. "Let's see…" he muttered, trying to figure out how to put this all into words. He wanted to ask his brother to ask him about specific people, but that would take too long. So, began where Starrk felt it would be best. "Lyneth and I are doing fine. We had a few fights the past few days, but we've sorted it out. I get the weekends unless she has a sleepover. Speaking of, she's having one next week with Arabella and Rachel, whatever their names are. I can't exactly remember. And so basically, you get a sis for the week and a bro for the rest. Ah… I love slang. Makes me feel more… western. Now…"
Starrk paused to take a breath.
"Mom. She's doing fine. She's dealing with the courts and the divorce and dad wanted to have Connor come live with him for the rest of eternity, but I sorted it out."
"How?" Gabriel asked, knowing all too well 'how'.
"Need I tell you?"
"Nah," Gabriel shrugged, figuring that Starrk could come up with a decent threat. Peace-loving Espada or not, Gabriel knew that Starrk would not let his friends or little brother leave him. "Now, go on? What else?"
"Yep, cowboy. Moving on. While you were sleeping, we had that meeting at the library, remember? The whole crazy mess wasn't the only thing we talked about. Hudson's bailing and gonna be bringing us all food from Hueco Mundo. We all figured it was safer to have him do that than draw attention to ourselves when we're hungry. Hudson looks nothin' like what he used to, so no one's gonna care. I doubt that soul reapers are patrolling the sands or anything. They can hardly take on a Menos Grande alone. The ones here are gonna just keep on doing what they're doing, but I doubt we'll be bothered. And in exchange for the food, we'll be nice to Hudson, got that?"
"Yeah, yeah," Gabriel sighed and crossed his arms. "I don't like it, but I'll do it. I'm hungry right now. Anyhow, what else do you have to report?"
"Milo and Janus are going to be headed to California; seems their aunt wants to take them in while the authorities look for their parents," Starrk said, only to add because he knew Gabriel wouldn't ask, "they ditched the kids here in Canada. So, they're livin' it up with Teresa for the time being."
"Oh, he must love that," Gabriel snickered, trying to picture the three of them hanging out. It was a very odd image, but an image none the less. "And what about Vicente and Azura?"
"They're dealing with their parents too," Starrk said, "it seems that their parents killed their brother, Arno or so-"
"Aero," Gabriel corrected, not sure if he did the right thing or not. "His name was Aero and he was Azura's older brother who kinda, from what I head, made them mad and he got shot. So I guess they're out for revenge then?"
Starrk nodded.
He wanted to say revenge was anything but good, but he was a hollow too and how could he judge?
"It seems so."
"And… Coeur and Pagan?"
"Them?" Starrk had completely forgotten, "I think they're not… they are trying to figure out where they should stand with one another. It's kinda a mess, but they're sorting it out. But I think they'll still be friends."
"Good," Gabriel was glad for that.
"Anything else?"
"No, not really," he admitted with a sigh. "I am good for now."
"Cool," Starrk muttered and stood to walk away when Gabriel spoke.
"You got that word from Lyneth, didn't you?"
"Yep," he grinned, "I did. It's great to be youthful."
"Indeed it is," Gabriel smiled in return and when Starrk was gone, he closed his eyes. It was wonderful to be full of youth again with eternity ahead of him once more; forever and always.
- The End -
Author's notes: Ah, wow. I finished this.
Whoo!
To be honest, I feel very sad about leaving this story behind as it was so much fun to write. I always wanted to do a reincarnation story and I finally wrote one. I think it turned out well and I love that I set it in Canada- one of my favourite countries. There are a lot more things I love about this story, but I know you already know them, dear reader.
Thank you so much for following along and all.
Until next time,
Aceidia
