AN: I might update again on the fifteenth, depending on how tired I am. If not, I'll aim for the weekend.
Chapter Fifty Six- Icarus
"I kind of feel bad about having sex on Louis's couch" I said that evening, watching Ronnie brew coffee from the kitchen counter.
"I don't" she replied simply. The rain had let up about an hour ago, yet the sky was still dark with a looming storm. It might thunder later in the night.
Despite the cold outside temperatures, I wasn't clad in much. I'd put my undergarments back on, along with one of Ronnie's paint-spattered shirts. It was basically a dress on me, so I felt no need for pants. Ronnie was dressed just as casually, with a pair of sweats and simple tank top.
The aforementioned woman also had her hair pulled back into a cute, puffy ponytail. I was caught by surprise when a mug was placed in front of me. I blinked a couple of times, then picked it up, cradling the hot glass between my palms.
"You were spacing out" she commented, blowing on the surface of her coffee.
"Sorry. Did you say something?"
"Just that Louis will probably be replacing most of the furniture once I'm gone anyway."
"I don't think that's much of an excuse. You still have, what, three months left here? Maybe four?" I prompted.
She hummed an affirmative, and watched as I tentatively sipped at the drink. "So you love me, huh?" I nearly choked on the little bit of coffee I'd managed to swallow.
Placing the mug back down cautiously, I fixed upon my girlfriend a very pointed look. "I said I think I do, okay? That's not a definitive statement."
"You're blushing" she teased with a growing grin. "You're cute."
I released an awkward snort of laughter, then glanced around the space for a distraction. When I heard the ticking of a clock in the background, I suddenly remembered my plan to check on Ymir at some point. When inspecting the time, I noticed it was past seven.
"Do you remember where I left my phone?" I asked Ronnie, beginning to search for the device. My eyes scanned every visible surface, and I continued to walk toward the sofa. I rested a hand against the armrest, finding my phone on neither the cushions nor the floor.
"I think it ended up on the floor with your discarded clothes." I moved to the front of the couch, then crouched down to look underneath. There it was, hidden in the furniture's shadow just a couple inches away.
After retrieving it, I was relieved to find no missed messages or calls. I started to type out a text for Ymir. Pushing myself up and rising to my feet, I walked slowly back toward the kitchen. I rested against the counter, finishing the message. Once the text was sent, I relaxed my shoulders.
"Something urgent?" Ronnie asked.
"No. Just checking on Ymir. Better to be safe, especially after what happened a few days ago" I responded, watching the black phone screen, waiting for a reply.
"She's not a kid, y'know" the other woman commented teasingly.
"Sure. But she acts like one often enough" I retorted. Ronnie hid her grin behind the rim of her coffee mug. "I'm starting to understand why Annie always looks at least mildly stressed."
She laughed lightly. It was muffled by her cup.
I tapped the countertop impatiently, counting each second that passed. She was probably just preoccupied by friends, to be fair. She might've even been relatively sober. No reason to be worried.
Then Ronnie set her mug down, the clinking of glass resounding through the kitchen. She was donning a contemplative expression, small smile creeping along her lips. "I like you a lot, Christa" she abruptly stated. Her half-lidded eyes were focused on me, and I felt my blush flare up again.
"Alright?" I replied, confused and taken aback.
"I haven't really had long relationships before" she admitted, attempting to explain. "So I don't quite know what to expect, and what's normal for me to be feeling at this point. And I don't exactly understand what love is supposed to feel like, in a romantic sense, at least." She paused, seeming the slightest bit embarrassed now. "I just know that I like you, in a weirdly intense way, is all I'm trying to say" she finally confessed.
I gaped for a moment, then glanced down at my fingers. They'd quit tapping as soon as Ronnie had begun speaking. "That's okay" I said weakly. "It's not like I have any more experience with this whole 'relationship' thing. We're figuring things out… and that's fine. We can experience all these freaky new things together, even if we don't understand it much."
Ronnie exhaled heavily, seemingly relieved by my agreement and acceptance. "Yeah. That sounds like a good plan" she said, less confident than usual. I smiled, hoping to reassure her more. I reached out my hand, a bit shakily, wanting to intertwine my fingers with hers.
Then my phone buzzed.
I pulled my hand back. Ronnie didn't appear to have noticed my action at all. We both looked at the lit screen, and I quickly picked it up. "Ymir, as to be expected" I announced, opening the text.
"'Everything's great on my end,' she says. And then there's a picture." I enlarged the image to fill the entire screen, and turned my phone around to show Ronnie. She briefly chuckled, and nodded in response. I looked at the image once more.
Ymir had a wide grin set on her face, with her arm around Maria. The Colombian woman was kissing the former's cheek. There were a few other familiar faces in the background. It appeared to be a small gathering, probably at one of the girl's houses.
"I guess she's in good hands tonight" Ronnie prompted. I bit my lip, then hummed my agreement. There was nothing to be worried about after all, I thought. It was around that moment, with an ache in my chest, that I realized it wasn't specifically me she had needed in the first place. Any acquaintance could have walked in and kept her company on that drunken night. I supposed there was nothing special about my companionship after all.
