December 28th - Beca

There is a reason I call my girlfriend "Redheaded Devil Woman". Over breakfast this morning, Chloe and I were talking about what we could do with Aunt Tricia and Uncle Zack. She suggested we go see that "We Bought a Zoo" movie right as I was taking a drink of my coffee and I nearly choked on it. I had no desire to see that movie at all. I know since we're dating I should maybe start getting over it, but still wasn't interested. The grin on her face though was gorgeous.

Her next suggestion was a campus tour. Much better. They're both the kind of people that would love it. I agreed as quickly as I could, which apparently was her plan all along. So we had our afternoon planned. After that was squared away, we got talking about Stacie. We got flipping through our diaries and we were able to piece things together. Since the beginning of the month, we've seen Stacie near all the other Bellas, starting with Cynthia in Stevenson Hall. And the day she talked to me? She talked to Chloe later. The only ones for sure not on the list are Chloe and me. I do recall her being on Aubrey's bed, but she was on top of the covers and both girls were fully clothed. I don't get that. Should we talk to Stacie? To Aubrey? I don't know, and I didn't suggest the idea to Chloe.

Eventually, it was time for the tour. I had a really good time showing them some of my favorite places on campus. It was never my plan to be here, but I've come to like the place. Part of me thinks maybe I could stay here for the full four years, if Chloe were here. She'll be graduating in May though, and she's still not sure what she wants to do for grad school. I think I have something real with her. We should maybe sit down and talk things over. If this is just a brief fling, I want to know now so I can brace myself for its end. What would I do? Find some other girl who's nowhere near as amazing as Chloe? This is why I push people away, so they can't have the opportunity to hurt me. But I don't think Chloe ever would. Multiple times during the tour, she held my hand. It just felt so right, so perfect. It's why I did the recording of "Thank You" for Chloe.

They loved the tour. There was a bit of a chill to the air, but it's downright warm compared to Scranton in late January. As we were wrapping things up at Greek Row, Chloe had a surprise for me that makes me think this might not be a brief fling. She had the Bellas help organize a picnic. It was an incredibly cheesy, romantic gesture, something you'd see in a romantic comedy that I'm sure Jesse would secretly love, but it didn't stop me from loving it. Nobody's ever done anything like this for me. She even had a little radio hooked up and when she hit play the first song that came on was "Thank You". I don't know how I didn't start crying right then and there, it was just so….I can't even begin to describe it. I don't deserve her. At all. The best part? In the basket, there was a big container of gummy bears. She remembered that from when I let her read my diary. Again, I didn't cry, and I don't know how. I got a call from Aunt Tricia and Uncle Zack later while they were at his cousin's place, and they told me to never let her go. That did it. I started crying as soon as the call was over. Chloe didn't see it because she was in the living room watching something with Aubrey. By the time she came back, I had regained my composure. She's still writing now, but when she's done I'm giving my diary back to her, I want her to read this. I love you Chloe, and nothing will ever change that.