Chapter 56: Thinking
"Ai-chan!" Rei-chan said as he appeared out of nowhere and hugged Mikaze-senpai from behind.
"Reiji, get off of me." Mikaze-senpai said as he tried to unlock Rei-chan's arms around his neck.
"Aww, does Ai-chan not like Rei-chan? But Rei-chan is so bored and lonely since everyone is busy helping out Masa-kun in the practice room." Rei-chan said teasingly and laughed.
"You alone today? Kaori-chan is not around?"
"Syo and Natsuki are both, as you said, helping out Masato with his hugging problem. Kaori has work today; she's been out since morning."
He then noticed the article that Mikaze-senpai was reading.
"What do we have here?"
He released Mikaze-senpai and jumped onto the sofa as he grabbed the magazine.
"It's Kaori-chan! Looks like this article is announcing the cast for a new drama series called "An Ephemeral Dream". She's playing as the female lead character's sister; not bad!"
"Yes. Her work today is actually a shooting for that series. They started shooting the series a week ago."
"So is Ai-chan interested?" Rei-chan smiles teasingly.
"I don't know what you are referring to, Reiji."
"Oh Ai-chan, don't play dumb with me! I'm sure you know what I'm talking about."
Rei-chan puts the magazine on front of Mikaze-senpai's face and points at Kaori's picture on the side.
"You like her, don't you?"
Mikaze-senpai ignored Rei-chan and crossed his arms.
"Oh! Looks like I hit a nerve there, haha."
Rei-chan puts his arm over Mikaze-senpai and leans close to him.
"Reiji, let go of me."
"I knew I was right! You're always willing to help her and teach her plus you've been kinder to her compared to everyone else. You even worry about her; you've never been a worrywart before, Ai-chan. Haha."
"Reiji." Mikaze-senpai was getting annoyed with him.
Rei-chan smiled at him. "Besides the reason why Kaori-chan got assigned to one of us in the first place, though we were supposed to be with Starish only, was because of you. You requested it from Shining, didn't you?"
Mikaze-senpai looked away from Rei-chan. "I have no reason to do such a thing."
"You can't lie to me, Ai-chan! You were interested since the graduation concert; your eyes can't lie. Ringo-chan told me about your little request after we got the order from Shining to look over Starish. You definitely like her; you've got a good catch there."
Mikaze-senpai was a bit flustered. It wasn't very obvious but Rei-chan could tell.
"You were quite smooth too during the storm when the power went out and then she got scared. Haha. I bet you were really happy when she clung to you, huh?"
"How did you know about that?"
"Well, I was supposed to drop by your room that day but I saw Kaori go in with a present and well…I stayed behind the door and kind of eavesdropped until you helped her get to her room."
"I think that would be more than eavesdropping."
"You were just really cute then Ai-chan; you were so concerned! Especially when you two were holding hands, haha! Good job indeed!" Rei-chan pats Mikaze-senpai's back over and over again.
"Reiji, I don't know what it is like to be fond of a person in that sort of way."
"Hm? What are you talking about? You're clearly in love with Kaori-chan; I'm sure of it. I know a love sick puppy when I see one."
Rei-chan lies down on the sofa.
"What's bothering you, Ai-chan?"
"I just want to be sure."
"Be sure of what?"
"I've been thinking for the past few days; I don't know anything about this feeling. First of all, I'm not even sure if I actually love her."
Rei-chan suddenly got up. "What are you talking about, Ai?!"
"I realized that I might just be infatuated with her music and bear no fondness for her; I just want to be sure that I like her not only for her music but for who she is. How can I be certain that I am in love with her? I don't even know what love is in actuality; it's too abstract to comprehend."
Rei-chan sat up straight.
"Ai, I want to ask you some questions. You don't mind?"
"I don't."
"Okay, what do you think of Kaori?"
"I think that she's a hardworking person and is a fast learner. She's kind and thoughtful of other people's feelings and ideas; she puts others first before herself. The music she composes can move one's heart and her singing is just as good. She also has a bad habit of apologizing for everything; from the smallest things to the things she didn't even do."
"Do you think she's cute? I certainly do."
"In terms of appearance, she usually is simple and I think it suits her. With or without makeup, I think she looks good. She doesn't tie her hair often but I don't mind; her hair is beautiful anyway."
"Do you like it when she's around?"
Mikaze-senpai thought for a while.
"When she's around, for some unexplained reason, I tend to feel lighter. My mood lightens up when I see her or when she talks to me; I feel at ease with her. I'd say that I like it when she's around especially if she came to talk with me."
"What would you feel if another man asked Kaori to go out with him?"
Mikaze-senpai's face became a bit unhappy. "The thought is quite unpleasant."
"Unpleasant? So you don't want that to happen?"
Rei-chan looked at Mikaze-senpai intently.
"Ai, I think she likes you more than a mentor and more than a friend but you'll never know if you don't ask her or tell her what you feel. If you let it pass for too long, her feelings could disappear or someone else might come to take her hand. If she ends up confessing her feelings to you first, you'd have to make a decision by then whether you'll accept her feelings or reject them."
Rei-chan thought for a while.
"What would you do if she confessed to you, Ai-chan?"
"I…don't know."
"You don't know? Or is it that you already know?"
Rei-chan stands up and stretches his body.
"Well, I've got to go and grab something to eat. I'm so hungry that I could eat a person! How about you, Ai-chan? Are you hungry yet?"
"Not really."
*beep beep beep*
"Hm? You got a message, Ai-chan?"
Mikaze-senpai checks his phone and opens his inbox.
"Who's it from?"
Rei-chan looks over Mikaze-senpai's cell phone screen to look at the sender's name; he smiles.
"It's from Kaori-chan. So what did she say?"
Rei-chan looked at Mikaze-senpai who was reading Kaori's message; he was smiling.
"Whoa there! Why so happy, Ai-chan? I want to see too!"
Mikaze-senpai immediately closed his phone screen the moment Rei-chan tried to peek.
"Hey, that's not fair!"
Rei-chan then tried to grab Mikaze-senpai's phone.
"Reiji, stop it! Let go of me!"
"But I want to know what made you smile; what did she say?! You rarely smile when there's no camera around! C'mon, show me!"
"Reiji, get off me! If you continue pestering me, I'm going to fall off the sofa!"
Rei-chan continued to pester Mikaze-senpai and as predicted, they lost their balance and fell to the floor.
"Whoa! Sorry about that, Ai-chan! I'm very sorry!" Rei-chan said as he helped Mikaze-senpai get up.
"Ai-chan, are you okay?"
"I'm alright. I'm not injured anywhere."
Rei-chan sighed in relief and smiled.
"But seriously, I've never seen you smile like that before; I didn't know you could make a face like that. You know what Ai, if you really would ask me, I really think you love her not only for her music but for who she is; you only mentioned her music once. You love Kaori because she's Kaori."
Rei-chan makes a fist with his right hand and places it on Mikaze-senpai's chest.
"I'm sure that this thing in here agrees with me. You should listen to it."
Suddenly Rei-chan's stomach growls loud like a tiger, ruining the moment.
"U-Umm…Looks like I'm running out of fuel in here! Haha! I'll go and get something to eat somewhere out there; I'll leave you to think and settle things with yourself. Ciao!"
Rei-chan then left the room after waving to Mikaze-senpai.
Mikaze-senpai places a hand over his chest.
"I should listen to my heart…"
He then goes over to one of the windows and leans beside it with his arms crossed as he looks at the scenery outside.
"If I would think of it this way, the music she creates is but a part of her…If I like her music, then perhaps it is the same as saying I like her. So if I love her music, then that would mean that I love her as well. But…is that all? Is it just her music that makes me fond of her?"
He then starts to think about the moments when he was with Kaori.
"I certainly like her company...very much; she really is a warm and kind person and she's fun to be with. She's also a ball of emotions and is really honest..."
He then realized that not once did he thought about Kaori's music when he reflected; the only thing that entered his mind was Kaori herself. His hand clenches his chest a little when he remembered that time when he almost kissed her.
"At that time, I was not aware of what I was doing; I just moved unconsciously. But if I think about it carefully, I would have...wanted to kiss her at that moment. Maybe Reiji is right. Maybe I already do know what I feel about her; I already know what I think of her. It seems that…"
He then notices Kaori walking towards the dorm; her shooting for the drama series must have ended.
"...I really am in love with her."
I was walking down the path towards the dorm; I love walking thru this path a lot since the trees are so beautiful and the wind is nice. We finished shooting my parts for the day so I didn't have to stay till evening; I'm happy to be done by the afternoon since I could continue finish my homework from Mikaze-senpai and I could start memorizing the next part of the script. I never knew that shooting for a series was going to be that tiring! I'm so thankful that my parts in the beginning of the series won't be so big and I won't be appearing so much yet; at least I'll have time to get used to all of this. Director-san said that my acting wasn't bad at all but I should practice even more; I don't want to disappoint everyone. The female lead actress was really beautiful and her acting was great! I'll do my best to reach her level of acting. The male lead was also really good; I can't wait to see how he'll act like a terminally ill person. The other actors and actresses were good too so I should do my best to pass their standards. I haven't met the guy who'll play as my character's love interest yet though; I hope he's a nice and understanding person. At least I'll always have free food from Manager-san after each shooting!
I held up the plastic bag filled with food that I was holding with glee; I'm like a little kid that won a candy lottery. I then noticed someone standing by the window. I stopped walking and took a moment to see who it was. I smiled and waved at the person when I realized it was Mikaze-senpai; He waved back at me and then he left the window. I think he seemed a bit down but it could have been my imagination plus he is a bit hard to read.
"I'm back, my dear room!" I said as I entered my room. I placed the plastic bag on the desk and started taking out the food one container at a time. With this much food, I think it will last till dinner time; I won't have to go out later for dinner then. I pulled my chair and sat on it as I grabbed my unfinished homework and started writing. I'll finally get this done and submit it by tonight. I may have missed the deadline but it's better late than never! I opened one food container and started eating the udon noodles inside it as I wrote; they tasted really good. I started to hum a melody that entered my head and before I realized it, I already started singing some lyrics to it.
If time could stop any moment in my mind
I would spend all my time by your side
If you know what I wanted to do
I'd say, I'd say,
Ai (love) love you
"U-um...I think I should just concentrate on my homework and script, haha..."
I-I think I had a slip of the tongue? Well, the words have the same meaning...but his name is written as "indigo" instead of "love". His hair though is more of a mint or cyan color rather than indigo; it actually reminds me of the flower shaped hair clip I lost in Carnival World back then. Sigh. I can't believe I lost it; I wonder where it is now? I hope that the person who picked it up is taking care of it; it was really important to me.
After some time, I finally finished the homework and I went to Mikaze-senpai to submit my work. When I entered the room, no one was there so I decided to just put my papers on his desk. I wonder where he went. Oh well, I have to go and work on my lines now.
