Thank you for the reviews :D I love getting them.
Shortish chapter this time. Semi filler but setting things up also. Next time will longer and possibly more um.. Romantic.
Thank you to Rhondal and Love ink for their advice on which direction to go in from here on out. I'm still considering everything but I think everyone will be happy.
Chapter 52
Box full of monsters
I had no idea why my house felt like this every time I came home. It'd always been mine since I'd moved into something permanent after joining the club. I'd taken the time to carefully paint the trim work a dark red, replaced the carpets with this thicker oatmeal one. It'd been me that bought everything inside of it. But it didn't feel like it was really mine anymore.
I stood in the doorway looking over my living room taking in how empty it was without the shoes in the space between the TV and the table. There was no Tim McGraw singing about barbecue stains or Patsy Cline singing about being crazy. No glass sitting on top of the cherry coffee table without a coaster.
As I walked towards my room, I knew that there wouldn't be a skinny brunette laying in my bed either. Her things were gone from on top of my dresser leaving it empty and odd. The room still held a hint of her smell, lavender. I sank down on the edge of the bed surveying everything around myself. She wasn't here anymore.
It was depressing to be in this house and be alone night after night. It was my own doing, keeping her away, but it didn't make it any easier on me. I reached down unlacing my heavy boots one by one before falling backwards onto the comforter getting a whiff of her. It never bothered me as much as it did when it was time for me to come home for a few hours of sleep and the occasional meal.
Sure, there were offers of companionship from the crow eaters, the girl at the parlor but it didn't feel right. I wasn't turning into a celibate monk but at the same time I didn't like the idea of bringing another female into this empty house. Not just yet.
I grabbed the pillow that she'd used hugging it against my chest with a sigh. Soon I'd be filling my spare bedroom with baby furniture. My house would smell like diapers, baby lotion, and smashed up bananas. It wouldn't be empty though, I'd have a little guy or little gal to keep me company.
That made me grin to no one but myself. When I'd bought the house I'd thought ahead of little hands getting stuck in the nooks and crannies, gotten rid of the stairs that had been in the basement. I'd known that one day I'd bring someone here, have my family. I just hated that the girl I'd finally brought home wasn't feeling the family part as much as I was.
I was starting to think she was coming around somewhat after the rat poison incident. It hadn't escaped my eyes how her hands had flown down to cover her stomach as if she were protecting the baby from the horrors of the poison. Lindsey was getting attached whether she wanted to admit it or not. Gemma's advice was actually working.
Gemma. The name made me roll my eyes at how shaken up she'd been over the dead crows, one for each Son, that had been stuffed into her mail slot. She'd grabbed onto my kutte when I got there before the others crying over her dead birds. She hadn't even cried like that when….. I pushed that to the side not wanting to get worked up over a new worry that was forming.
Wayne had made sure to mention the footprint that had been found in the blood at Jax's house. It wasn't Jax's. Didn't match up with him. But it also wouldn't match up with my shoes if they decided to do more forensics. Those boots were long gone along with Gemma's by now after I'd stuffed them into the dumpster. All they had were suspicions with no background to them. No one could prove anything.
It was making us both nervous however; the more things were getting dug into lately. Tara had been gone a year now with no official killer on the books. Jax thought he'd killed the guy, and I wasn't going to tell him otherwise. I wouldn't lose my club again over something I'd done. This time, whatever punishment was doled out would be well deserved.
Getting caught couldn't happen. I had my own baby to worry about now, my own old lady. I had to think ahead of the game.
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Lindsey's POV
I had no idea how late or early it was; it was dark in the room that smelled of too much cologne and laundry soap. The man beside me was sound asleep, unsuspecting of the thoughts that were entering my mind as we lay here. He had no clue that I'd been looking at him in a different light since he came into his room shirtless in his boxers. I'd eyed the body that I hadn't touched in months with an urge that hadn't been met in forever.
"Fiasco." I whispered nudging him with my big toe digging it into his thigh. "Fiasco."
Fiasco groaned popping one eye open at me in the moonlight. "Go to bed."
I rolled my eyes rubbing up on him, more importantly against his crotch. "I can't sleep." I slid my fingers up his stomach feeling the hard bulges of muscles. "I'm not tired yet."
He reached down grabbing my hands on their journey south stopping me just when I reached the waistband of his shorts. "But I am. And no offense; but I ain't too sure I should do what you're wanting me to do."
"Its just sex." I sighed attempting to kiss on his collarbone next. "You know you miss it. I could give you one of those blow jobs you always liked. And I'll let you pick the position."
Fiasco's big ands were running up my ribs feeling the changes in my body since the last time he'd had his hands on it. His arms went around me cupping my ass pulling me flush against him as our mouth crashed against each others. Our tongues twist and twirled in a frenzy, exploring each other again.
One thing I'd always loved about him was the way he could make me feel petite and even pregnant I felt dwarfed. My next favorite thing were the muscles along his chest that were covered with a spray of dark hair. I rolled giving him a nudge to lay on his back again. He obliged, hand dropping from my skin to push his boxers down.
He grabbed my lips lifting me to straddle him in the glow of the TV. Moisture was polling in my panties feeling him hard pressed against me. Two fingers hooked into the side of the lace, pulling it away to the side. I raised up practically shaking at the anticipation. I could feel the tip just barely pushing against my lips….
"I can't." Fiasco suddenly said pushing me off of him just as fast as he'd pulled me on.
"Wait. What happened?" I raised up on my elbows completely confused about what had just happened.
"I can't Lindsey. I just can't. you're pregnant and an old lady, and I just… can't go there. Not like this."
A frustrated mewl left my mouth. "I wanted you. Bad."
Fiasco shook his head yanking his boxers back on tossing my pajamas back at me. "You wanted to have sex bad. Not sex with me."
"I-" I looked away as I redressed. "I'm not-involved with Juice like this anymore. I thought that was all that mattered."
"Why don't you climb on top of him and beg for it?" Fiasco asked not meanly, but more curious.
"I don't want to be shot down." I admitted sitting back down on the bed. "I won't try anything again."
He nodded flopping back down beside me, shoving the respective pillow back between our bodies. "Try him. He won't say no. Trust me."
I'd been cleared by my doctor two days ago once the bleeding had stopped and I was dying. I was craving the closeness of someone, anyone. Juice, preferably but I hadn't saw him again since the parlor incident. I'd been staying in Oakland all week and the guys hadn't been in the parlor. I had to go to my parent's place in the morning to check in, otherwise…. This was it for me. Oakland was becoming home again.
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Juice's POV
"Hey sweetheart." Gemma greeted me as I stepped into the office at TM. "You look like shit."
"Thanks Gem. You look great." I threw back with a scathing look then felt bad about it. Gemma had been nothing but a good friend and huge help to me the past few months. It wasn't her fault I was tired and hungover.
I looked at the parking lot as I lit my smoke after offering her one. Everyone else was supposed to be on the way to start the hunt for this 'Mr. Brooks' again. It'd been a couple of days and still no luck. He was slippery. "How's it goin with you?"
"Perfect. I woke up today and had this vision of going to a perfectly normal day job while my son worked on Chevys." she answered sarcastically. "Its going the same as it always is. Just another day in this."
It was constantly this way, good then bad. The bad just hadn't stopped as of late for us. It'd started with that damn church we held up and was at the point of being paranoid to let anyone we knew go to work or check their mail on their own. I had to just stay relaxed throughout all of this bullshit which was hard, but as long as I kept my cool it was only me inside of my head.
"Yeah well, I'd work on a Volvo right now if it were my choice." I grimaced rolling the cigarette between my fingers.
"How's the baby mama?"
I shrugged not really knowing. "Haven't heard from her honestly. She had a couple of days off from work, not really sure where she's been."
"You don't know where she lives? Gemma asked pointedly from her desk where she was pushing papers around.
"I could find out if I really wanted to. But I don't think she wants me to know." I really didn't think she did since she hadn't let me drop her off at home, then walked from Wendy's over to her place saying it wasn't far. She was either hiding it or embarrassed.
Gemma slid her glasses on clicking on the keyboard keys noisily with chicken pecks that drove me crazy. "You still thinking about bringin her home with you?"
I nodded knowing how stupid it made me sound. It would make me feel a million times better to know she was in my house, safe with everything going on. But it would also make things that much more awkward between us. "Thought about it. Not real sure though."
"That little redhead has an eye on you." She noted with a smirk in her tone.
"That little redhead hit my pregnant old lady." I pointed out watching the said crow eater carry the trash out of the clubhouse with Stone. "She's nice but she… she's not what I'm after."
"Why's that?"
"Gonna work on things some more." I watched as Wendy's SUV pulled into the lot. "Wendy's here."
Gemma rose from the chair coming to stand beside me watching as the blonde climbed out of the vehicle gracefully. "Wonder what she wants."
I shrugged starting for the garage to give them some space when Wendy's voice calling to me stopped me in my tracks. "Juice! Wait up!"
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I was starting to learn that Wendy never wanted to just chat with me for kicks. She always had a motive and today was no different as she cornered me in the empty bay I was opening up for the mechanics. "What's up?"
"Do you have a minute?" She asked throwing her purse over her arm looking at me expectantly.
I glanced at her shrugging. Wendy was taller than most women, eye to eye with me unlike Lindsey who had to look up. She was looking better these days though, a little smile was constantly on her face even now. "Sure I guess so."
"Lindsey hung out the other day while you guys were busy with the poison thing." She started pacing around in a little circle in her boots. "I noticed a couple of things."
"Seriously? Again?" I raised my brows at her. "She went to the doctor."
"Its not that." Wendy stopped walking to put her hands on her hips over her ugly jacket. "She's in her pajamas."
I personally didn't see a problem with that. I'd wear my pajamas to work if I could. "And?"
"She needs to be in maternity clothes you idiot." Wendy stated the obvious. "I told her so."
"So, she'll get some." I finished pulling my kutte back on from where I'd hung it up at. "No big deal.
"She's broke. I don't know what you guys talk about but money obviously isn't one of them. She said she'd look into it but I know she won't. I went through Tara's things after Jax told me to get rid of what I thought the boys wouldn't want but those are too big too."
It was dawning on me now what she was after. "So you're asking me to give her some money."
Wendy's cheek twitched slightly but she nodded. "Or.. Take her shopping. Spend some time with her, maybe. I know I'm overstepping a lot with this but I can't help but feel like I'm supposed to be mentoring her or something. She's a sweet girl."
"I'll see what I can do."
It was noncommittal but it seemed to be enough to keep Wendy happy. She was overstepping, a lot, but she was also bringing up things I hadn't thought on. Things I should have thought on or known about but didn't because Lindsey was slowly slipping away.
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Lindsey's POV
My eyes felt swollen and sore even hours after I'd been at work serving ice cream to high schoolers. My morning had been terrible leading to the swollen eyes after crying while I got ready for work. I'd calmed down on my walk in, but was still feeling emotionally unraveled.
I wanted nothing more than to ball up and cry for days at how awful everything was getting. Dad knew I'd still been seeing Juice some thanks to Juice's big mouth. He knew I hadn't been staying in Charming with Lyla, and he'd saw me climbing out of Fiasco's car. Everything was crashing down at once.
The fight had been horrible. He'd yelled and yelled until I locked myself in my room just like when I was a kid. The worst part was knowing I didn't have another option. I had nowhere else to go to. I was staying at Fiasco's but I couldn't live there. Not with a baby coming in a few months. And Juice didn't even bother to talk to me.
"Here's your order." Carla told me pushing the tray over for me to carry out. "I'll get the booth in the back."
I nodded giving him a grateful smile remembering that she could be nice when she wanted to be. I whisked the tray away stopping to nod at Brooke who was bringing Abel in for his daily dish of vanilla with gummy bears on the side. "I'll grab it in a sec!"
"No rush." Brooke helped Abel up onto a stool at the counter by the ice cream cooler as I hurried around the parlor grabbing dishes, dropping food off, and getting requests for refills.
It took a few minutes but I finally made my way back over to the twosome with Abel's treat in hand. "Here little guy." I winked at him as I handed it over. "How was school.?"
"Okay." He said a little guarded but when he looked down I saw the scratch on his cheek.
"What happened sweetie?" I asked gently leaning on the table. "Did you fall?"
"I got into a fight with Trevor." Abel explained sucking on the gummy bears already.
I looked at Brooke raising an eyebrow as she nodded. "Guess its in their blood." she smirked with a nudge at my stomach. "Better be on top of that."
She had a midsized cardboard box sitting beside her on top of t he counter. No writing except her name and address on the side. "Want me to put that on the other side?" I offered but she shook her head.
"No, I could use a butter knife though. I don't have a clue what it is. I haven't bought anything."
"Maybe Rat did? An anniversary gift?" I wondered grabbing her the knife .
Brooke started working the knife against the industrial strength tape holding it closed. "I doubt it. He doesn't even know my birthday."
The smell that started to emanate from the box was horrible. I wrinkled my nose up grateful no other customers were sitting close by as it grew worse. "Its smells like…"
"Like something dead." Brooke finished paling into a ghost white as she crammed the flaps back down. "I'm going to vomit. Its…. Its.."
My head rushed with my heart rate as I pulled the box towards myself peeking in then did the same as her, crushing it shut again. "Oh. My. God."
"Call them." Brooke whispered covering her mouth with her hand. "I'm gonna-"
It was a box full of dead rats.
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We waited in my office away from the other waitresses and cooks, not wanting to bring anymore alarm to anyone than we had to. Just look normal, play it off, keep it club business was how Montez had put it when he led us in here with Abel. If dead rats were normal than I wasn't sure I wanted to know what wasn't.
"Why dead rats?" Brooke asked still horrified at her package even a hour later.
"Rat. They know you're with him." I explained putting it together like I had my own candied rat poison. "I just… Jesus."
I brought my knees up in the desk chair as I felt the baby roll over inside of my stomach. What was I thinking bringing a baby into this chaos? None of us had any business being with anyone while we all got targeted with crazy tokens. "Here they come."
"You girls okay?" Tig asked so nicely I almost did a double take to make sure it was him. "Everyone calm?"
"I'm fine." I spotted Juice coming in behind him, slipping around. "Where were you?"
It was snappier than I'd meant for it to sound, but I was shaken. Juice tensed up a little bit bending down low to hug me. "Busy. Nothing happened though right? You're fine? Baby's fine?"
"It was another package." Tig explained to him quietly so Abel wouldn't overhear. "Nobody's hurt, just scared."
"Same guy?" Juice asked hovering too close to me for the mood I was in.
I edged the chair away as nicely as I could watching Juice peek into t he box like Tig had done. "No note?" he said shaking it around to my disgust.
"No. Get it out of here if you're going to play with it." I snapped watching him do it again. "its going to make me hurl."
Juice closed it up, passing it back over to Tig. "Throw it out. I can't do anything with no return address since it was hand delivered. Maybe we could ask the neighbors but I don't want to draw attention either. Jax is supposed to be on t he way back from the Diosa meet now."
"Daddy's coming?" Abel asked perking up on the floor with his markers.
"Any minute now. Why don't you go wait for him out front with Brooke so I can talk to Lindsey?" Juice suggested nicely to Abel while ruffling his hair up.
We waited until the three of them had shuffled away and the door was closed to speak to each other again. "Who in the hell is this guy Juice?"
"Someone the club pissed off." He said obviously withholding information on me. "We're handling it."
"That's what you said when I almost ate rat poison!"
"I'm trying Lindsey. I swear. You don't have to worry." Juice bent down again going to his knees in front of the chair. "What's wrong with you?"
I looked away from him, angry still. "Nothing except you apparently gave my dad a play by play of everything I didn't want for him to know."
"Oh." His hands were on my thighs, rubbing my legs trying to get me to look at him. "You lied to me too. And you made me sound like a piece of shit. I figured we were even."
"We're not." I snapped shoving on his hands to get off of my body but he squeezed instead. "I got bitched out today, then my friend gets dead rats a few days after my own fucked up package. Because of you."
"Why today? Why not the other day? You weren't home?" Juice asked quietly.
I finally looked at him, fixing him with a glare. "No, I wasn't at home. I was in Oakland if it matters to you. Which it shouldn't since we're not together and you've made that obvious by asking my dad to keep an eye on me when it should be you."
"It should be." He agreed with a nod. "But its not. I was hoping by doing that you'd stay home instead of Fiasco's."
"I'd rather be at Fiasco's."
Juice's face flickered with a second of hurt. "I thought you wanted you work on things here?"
"I do. But you-" I stopped with a sigh. "You haven't exactly been in touch with me even after the poison."
"I didn't know you wanted me to call." he said settling down in front of me. "I don't know what lines we have and what lines we don't have. I just know I'd rather you be at home, not Fiasco's place at night."
"There's a madman on the take and you'd rather me stay in Charming with him than in Oakland away from him?" I questioned him knowing this was jealously not concern. "What else is happening that I don't know about?"
Juice leaned closer sighing quietly. "Nothing. This is it. We're trying to find that guy and I'm trying to just keep up with everything else. The more eyes on you the better, but not him."
I leaned in, feeling brave. "Then stop pushing me away. Fix this. Make it right, whatever it takes. I'm in danger because of you. Not Fiasco."
"Nothings going to happen to you. Either of you." He added looking at the bump that was jellybean in my mind. "I'll hang out here if Jax doesn't need me. I'll keep an eye on everything with Stone."
It was supposed to comfort me but it didn't do anything for the nagging in my mind of the words my father had placed in there this morning. I was rethinking everything, and worrying myself sick. The baby, the Chinese guy, money, my parents, work, I was like a ticking time bomb ready to burst tears at the drop of a hat. And the one thing that could make it better wasn't available since Juice was already putting a distance back between us.
