Dear readers,
This is the official last chapter of Translucent.
I want to take a moment to thank all of you for all the support you've shown me throughout these past few months. It's thanks to all of you that I've decided to actually push myself into pursuing my dream of becoming a published writer, and you've all inspired me to keep myself motivated and to never give up. Reading your opinions throughout each chapter post has literally made my day each and every time, and I appreciate each and every one of you.
Thanks again all of you, and I hope all of you take care. :)
Much love,
Vi
-[×]—[×]—[×]-
"Taiiichoooouuu! Come on now, why can't I just have a teensy-bit?"
"Because it's 10 in the morning, and you have work to do."
Matsumoto huffed and plopped onto the couch.
"That's no fair at all, Taichou. Why do we have to work today when everyone else is out there having a good time? You could at least make up for it by letting me drink just a little bit to ease my sorrows.."
"No is no, Matsumoto. I don't care what everyone else is doing; we have a lot of work that we need to catch up on. There isn't any time for lolly-gagging." I responded.
She huffed again, and I could hear her crossing her arms before she replied.
"Fiiiiiine," She replied with an exhale.
Matsumoto sat up, stretched, then got up and walked over to the front of my desk.
"Okay Taichou; where do you want me to continue?" She asked me.
I pointed to the stack on the right corner of my desk with my pen, and got a sigh from her in response due to the size. She took a few steps over and placed her hand on top of the stack. She slid her hand over to the corner of it, and flipped the top pages with her thumb.
"Oh, goody," She whined.
I hated it when she did that.
What was so hard about doing her job?
It was all just filling out paperwork; it's easier than fighting off a Hollow or anything else we do. It shouldn't take her longer than an hour or two to complete that stack, but knowing her it was going to take her all day. I'd have to stay after hours again to make up for it.
"Oh…this is…"
I waited for her to complete her sentence, but instead she inhaled deeply and started to straighten the stack.
What was she trying to say?
Her demeanor had changed in less than half a second; my curiosity got the better of me.
"Something wrong?" I asked.
"Oh..uhh…nothing," She quickly responded.
She took the stack in her arms and quickly turned around toward the door. I didn't stop writing, or even look up at her—I knew something was wrong; she was just trying to evade the topic. I normally didn't pry into anything about her life, or asked if there was anything wrong. I normally just let her handle herself, and only listened if it was what she requested.
Within the past few months, Matsumoto and I haven't talked about anything other than work, or what the others were up to. She hadn't said anything about her personal life, or if anything was bothering her.
So I went about my business as usual; going to work, eating, training, and sleeping. We were so far behind with everything that I haven't taken any time off in months. I've worked every single day—including days off—after hours, and haven't really talked to anyone.
As Matsumoto walked, I heard a few sniffles from her.
I shouldn't have done it, but I did.
"Matsumoto," I called.
She stopped mid-step, waiting for me to continue.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
A few seconds went by; my pen scraping against the paper the only sound in the room.
She took a short, sharp breath.
"This paperwork.." She breathed out.
She paused.
"I used to always give it to her…"
I stopped writing mid-stroke.
I stared down at the word I was in the middle of writing; ink gathering at the tip, and leaking at the pressure I still put on the pen.
I tried so hard not to think about her.
Remembering what happened…remembering all the things that…
"Oh, I see." I cut off my own thoughts.
Matsumoto didn't say anything for another few moments—no doubt waiting for me to follow up with the statement. The sad part was that I should have, but I just couldn't say anything about it. I could already feel the lump forming in my throat.
"So that's it then," Matsumoto muttered.
I didn't respond.
"So you don't care?" She asked.
I didn't respond.
She switched her stance to a sturdier one, as if she was getting ready to take something on. I didn't even have to look to know she was angry.
"So we're going to just pretend that she didn't exist?" She asked.
I didn't respond.
Matsumoto turned around to look at me; I continued writing.
"Say something!" She suddenly rose her voice at me.
I didn't say anything.
She walked back to my desk and slammed the papers back down.
"So this is how you recuperate from loss? You mindlessly just keep toiling away at paperwork? You don't take a day off in months, you work after hours and shut yourself out from everyone to ignore your problem altogether?" She asked me, a frantic anger in her tone.
I started writing again; still ignoring her.
I mentally wasn't ready for this.
I didn't want to have this conversation.
"Taichou!" She shouted.
I didn't even look up.
"I can't do this anymore. I can't stand here and pretend to be okay when I most certainly am not! And even more so; I refuse to stand here and watch you like this! Taichou, you need to mourn before you can move on; you're just blatantly ignoring it!" She continued.
I grabbed another piece of paper and began filling it out.
"Hey!" She shouted, slamming her hand against the table.
I maintained a completely unfazed demeanor. I just couldn't—
"What were the last words she said to you, Taichou?" She asked, voice trembling with tears.
I stopped writing.
The moment I wanted to never remember again flashing through my mind.
"What did she say?" Matsumoto asked again forcefully.
I couldn't help but take a deep breath.
"What did you promise her you would do?" She pressed.
I didn't say anything again.
"I asked you a question! What did you promise her, Taichou?" She shouted, tears freely flowing down her cheeks.
I clenched my hands into fists to keep them from trembling. That horrible memory nipped away at my composure; I was going to lose my control if she kept going.
"Go join the others." I told her, taking another inhale to compose myself.
"Taic—!"
"I said leave and go have fun with the others." I snapped sternly, cutting her off.
I glared at her forcefully to remind her of her rank.
I knew that it was completely not acceptable behavior on my part, but I just couldn't talk about this. She was trying to be a friend rather than a subordinate; I understood that. However, I didn't want to deal with that right now, or ever for that matter. If I had to pull this card to get out of the conversation, then I wasn't going to hesitate.
My gaze didn't let up, and finally, after a few more seconds, she looked away. She inhaled deeply and turned away from me. She walked to the door, and opened it a crack; lingering for a moment.
"This isn't what she wanted, Taichou. This isn't what she wanted at all."
Matsumoto opened the door, stepped out, and slammed it shut behind her.
I took another deep breath; staring down at the paper in front of me like it was life or death. I had to focus on something other than that; I'd lose myself to it if I allowed myself to think about it.
Pushing away those thoughts helped me move on.
I was the Taichou of Squad 10 in the Gotei 13; if I fall, my squad will have no one to turn to. I couldn't allow that to happen; we've already suffered enough with the Aizen ordeal. Now that Aizen has been captured and the Espada have been stopped, we can finally rebuild. We can rebuild our way of life, rebuild our society, reestablish our bonds with one another, and most importantly move on. If I let myself fall into despair, it would be one more thing to hinder that progress.
I knew all of this very well, and used it to keep me going, but, if I was honest with myself…
I was afraid to think about it.
The bigger picture was just a cover—a cover I didn't really even care about. It was merely a responsibility that was a part of my job; it wasn't the real reason holding me back.
The real reason was that I couldn't accept everything that happened. I couldn't accept that I did nothing; that I stood there and watched things play out.
I wasn't strong enough.
I didn't help.
I didn't do anything but let my emotions get the better of me.
I let the others down.
I let her down.
I-I..
…I let her…
"That's enough of that. You have work to do." I countered myself aloud.
I focused down at the paperwork in my hands and began trying to read what I wrote.
"Master," Hyourinmaru called.
"Don't, Hyourinmaru." I firmly shot back aloud.
He ignored me and continued.
"Master, please, listen for a mo—"
"I said don't do it, Hyourinmaru." I interrupted again angrily.
He paused for a moment, then continued.
"No, Master; I refuse." He countered.
I was shocked to say the least. Hyourinmaru never shot back against a direct order.
"Your subordinate is right; you need to mourn over your loss. Your health is deteriorating; mentally you are completely unstable. It's time you took step one in the healing process,"
"I said no, Hyourinmaru. What part of my command are you not understanding? You know very well my reasoning; you're stuck inside my head, listening to all my thoughts. You should know better than anyone that I have good reason—"
"Good reason? Master, it is because I know you better than anyone that I'm bringing it to your attention. You cannot continue on the way you have been. You need to seek the help of others; you need to let others in so you can—"
"No. Never again. I'm not going to let anyone in ever again. I can't. I can't d—"
"Is that fulfilling the promise you made to her? Was this what she meant when she asked you to smile? Is that the reason Takashita Azumi gave up her life—"
"Don't!" I shouted, standing up and slamming my fists down on the desk.
"Don't you say her name…"
And there it was.
The lump formed completely in my throat as I began to lose my composure; Hyourinmaru had done it now.
He didn't say anything; the silence that resulted after my outburst felt never-ending. In those brief, yet excruciatingly long seconds, every memory of her that I had repressed for the past 4 months had come back to me. Every giggle she made, every smile, every expression…
…and every tear she shed.
Tears formed in my eyes.
I was in deep; deep enough to know that I had to do something about it. I had to focus on something—anything.
I took a deep breath and picked up the papers on my desk. I sat back down and tried focusing on reading some of the documents.
It wasn't working.
It had to be something else, but I didn't know what. What else was I supposed to do? Paperwork had gotten me by all this time; but now I'm back at Square 1, and paperwork wasn't going to bring me out of this stage.
"Master, I—"
"You've done enough, Hyourinmaru; I don't want to hear from you any more today. You got what you wanted; now leave me alone." I said.
"As you wish; please, take my word and the words of your companions to heart." He said.
As soon as he finished the sentence, I didn't hear another word out of him.
I inhaled deeply, and shut my eyes tightly to try and will away the tears that formed. I opened my eyes and looked around the room; trying to see if there was something other than paperwork I could do in here. Of course there wasn't—this was an office after all. I straightened up the papers on my desk, and decided to actually leave.
I locked the door to my office and flash-stepped out of the building. I wanted to avoid seeing any of my subordinates; I needed to be my calm, collected self when talking to them, and I definitely was not either of those.
I flashed out of the office facilities and back to the barracks. I went into my house—pointedly avoiding looking toward the hallway of the spare room—and quickly changed out of my uniform. I couldn't stay at home either, so I decided to go get lost somewhere in the Rukongai. After I finished getting ready, I quickly locked up the place and left.
Once I was outside of the Seireitei, I began walking around in my old district. I walked down several of the 'shacks' the people lived in; continuously walking down and observing the area I once called 'home.'
Eventually, I subconsciously made my way to Obaa-san's home. I stood for a moment, staring at her front door.
Should I pay her a visit?
Was I mentally prepared to speak to anyone, let alone my Obaa-san?
She never really pried too much into my life, and knew that 'no' meant 'no.' I could get away with not talking to her about it, but the real question was: would I break down entirely in front of her about it?
Obaa-san raised me; next to Hinamori and Matsumoto, she was the most important person alive in my life. If anyone was to get through to me with anything, it would be her.
It was a gamble.
I crossed my arms, and looked down at the ground for a moment in debate.
"Shirou-chan,"
Too late.
There was no going back now.
I looked back up to see Obaa-san at the window, a smile on her face.
I quietly took in a deep breath.
"Hi, Obaa-san," I replied.
She ushered me into her home, and began to make some tea. I had her sit down while I finished preparing the reminiscent tea, and then joined her on the porch.
We talked about normal things; about how she had been, and how I was doing. I completely lied and told her I was doing fine—which angered me because I never lied to her. However, given the situation and her steadily deteriorating health; it was for the best that I avoided the topic.
A few hours had gone by, and the clouds had rolled in; spreading throughout every inch of the sky. There was a chilling breeze with the change in the sky, and so I stood up to try to take her inside.
"Obaa-san, it's getting cold; let's go inside." I suggested.
"No; I can't go inside yet," She replied.
I couldn't help but cock an eyebrow at her reply.
"Why not?" I asked.
"She hasn't returned," She immediately replied.
We hadn't talked about anyone beside ourselves and issues within the Seireitei for hours; she didn't mention anything about anyone else.
Just who was this 'she?' Did Obaa-san take in someone like she did with Hinamori and myself? The place looks like it's just her living here.
"Obaa-san, what do you mean? Who are you waiting for?" I prompted.
She readjusted herself slightly; seemingly worried about this girl she was still waiting on.
"Kenji-san and Elena-san have welcomed a young girl into their home; she often comes along with the two of them to help me around the house. You have met the two of them, haven't you?" She asked.
Of course.
Of course the hours of unnoticeable consoling I'd received from my visit with Obaa-san would burn up in flames in less than 5 seconds.
I didn't let my demeanor change—even though internally I felt like I was about to meltdown. I casually continued the conversation.
"Yes, I remember the two of them," I responded, my usual calm tone unnoticeably forced.
Thunder growled lowly in the background, and Obaa-san turned her gaze away from me and up to the sky.
"She came by earlier today and asked if I needed anything. I happen to be low on tea and a few other items, so she kindly went to the market in my place. She left around 10 minutes before you arrived; I'm worried about how much time has passed." She explained.
She turned back toward me; that worried expression of hers still spread across her features.
"It seems that it's going to rain; I'm worried about her." She continued.
Obaa-san placed her hands delicately beside her, and began getting up.
"Maybe something happened to her," She said, as she strained to rise from her seated position.
I took her arm gently, and helped her slowly back up. She turned toward the house, and slowly walked inside. She reached for something near the door, and came back out with it. She had an umbrella in her hand, and she slowly proceeded to open it.
"I'm so very happy you came to visit me today, Shirou-chan. You're more than welcome to stay as long as you'd like." She smiled briefly as she raised up her umbrella.
"Obaa-san, where are you going?" I asked.
"I'm going to go find her; she doesn't have an umbrella with her," She replied.
"Obaa-san, you can't go out there; it's getting colder by the minute and its going to start raining. You'll get sick if you don't get inside." I protested.
As much as I didn't want to—it was for Obaa-san.
"Here," I took hold of the umbrella and took it from her.
"I'll go find her and bring her back. What does she look like, and what is her name?" I asked.
A warm smile spread across her face at my offer.
"Thank you, Shirou-chan; you're still so very sweet," She gleamed, placing her hand delicately over mine.
"She's a beautiful young girl with brown eyes and brown hair. She was wearing a yellow yukata today, and kept her katana tied to her sash on her backside." She explained.
Well, I most certainly wasn't expecting the katana part.
"Katana? Why does she have a katana?" I asked.
"I'm not sure; she has always carried one." She responded.
I let the subject pass, and continued on.
"Okay; it's a start. What is her name?" I asked.
Obaa-san let out a small laugh.
"I'm not sure of her true name; she insisted that it was unimportant. Kenji-san and Elena-san don't know either." She replied.
That was definitely strange.
The basic description of this unnamed girl brought an image of a certain someone to mind; it flashed through my head for a moment, and it took everything I had to will the thought away.
"What can I call her by as I search for her?" I asked.
"She brought me flowers when she first met me, so I've been calling her Hana. You can use this to find her." She told me.
"Thank you Obaa-san, I'll go look for her. Please go inside and wait for us; I don't want you out any longer in the cold." I urged.
"Hai, hai; thank you, Shirou-chan." She smiled and slightly bowed.
"Don't mention it," I replied.
I ushered her inside, and left toward the market place.
This girl sounded really odd.
The fact that she left her name out of the equation left me with an unsettling feeling. The katana she carried posed another problem; just how skilled was she with it? Had she ever used it before on anyone? Did it have anything to do with concealing her name?
The first drops of rain landed on my cheek. I opened the umbrella and continued walking as it began to worsen.
I arrived at the market place, and looked around. All the merchants began bringing the last remaining items on display outside into their shops, and the people on the streets were hurrying home.
I peeked inside of a few stores, but didn't see this girl that Obaa-san was so fond of. I kept walking down the strip, but still no sign of her at all. I knew that Obaa-san needed some tea, so I decided to check the tea shop she used to regularly send me to.
"Excuse me," I announced as I entered.
"Welcome! What can I help you with today?" The female shopkeeper greeted.
"I'm actually trying to find someone; has a young girl with brown hair and eyes wearing a yellow yukata stopped by today?" I asked.
The woman took a moment to think, and then finally had the moment of successful recollection.
"Ah, yes! There was a young girl here just a little while ago; she bought some tea quickly and then left." The woman answered.
Her face suddenly turned into a more serious expression, and she continued.
"Now that I think about it; there were two men that looked very suspicious. They had come in while she was paying for her tea, then when she left, the two of them promptly left also. They didn't even buy anything; I hope that nothing happened." She finished; her face now etched in worry.
"Which way did they go?" I asked promptly.
"They exited and went south from what it looked like…you don't think?" She trailed.
"Thanks!" I quickly shouted as I left.
This girl was probably attacked by two thieves. This wasn't the very worst district out there, but the fact still remains that when any type of weapon is displayed, someone is going to try to steal it. I flashed south down the main road, fear for this young girl's life now my priority. A few miles down; I saw two men on the side of the road—injured and bleeding.
"What happened here?" I asked them.
As they grunted, I inspected their wounds. One of them had a small, somewhat circular bruise on his face—clearly an attack with a sheathed katana. One of them had a black eye while the other had a bloody nose.
"We got jumped," one responded.
The two of these men were huge and brawny; it was highly unlikely that they would ever be 'jumped.' I decided to play stupid to get information out of them.
"Who's the culprit?" I asked.
They stalled before answering, and then reluctantly the other spoke up.
"There was a girl with a katana that came by to try to steal from us; we tried to defend ourselves, but with her skill, she was able to beat us. She must've been one of those damn Shinigami," He huffed.
Shinigami?
"I see; which way did she go?" I asked.
They pointed further down the road, and I promptly left.
The thought of her katana being a Zanpakuto had crossed my mind; I wouldn't be surprised if she was in the early stages of discovering she had abnormal reiatsu. Regardless, there was only one way to find out.
As I walked further down the path, there came a part where the tall, dead grass parted noticeably. It was too big for it to be any type of animal; it had to either be a person, or an abnormally small Hollow.
For some reason, my gut told me to follow this path. It was strange; one would think that any person would stray away from a path like this—especially when it was about to rain—but something told me that someone recently trekked through here.
At the decision to walk down this path that led into the forest, a strange feeling overcame me. I couldn't tell what it was, but I hadn't felt this way in a long time. The last time I felt this way, was because I was hoping for…
I shut the thought out before I even finished it; I had to close it off before I lost myself. I took a deep breath, and walked down the path.
As I continued to walk, footsteps appeared on the pathway; looking like they were freshly imprinted. I was right; someone had just walked through here. The path went on quite a ways; my curiosity and unsettling feeling kept me moving forward.
Finally, I arrived at the end of the path; a tree directly in front of me. Tucked away under an uprooted part of the tree were a few bags covered just barely with a small cloth. I uncovered it to see a variety of items; tea and other items one might keep in their home.
It was absolutely clear that this was the bag of the girl I'd been looking for. But where was she?
I looked around, and saw no one.
"Hana!" I shouted in case.
Nothing.
I tried to determine which direction she would've gone. It didn't seem like she was being chased or put in a position of fight or flight; the delicate placement of the items under the tree told me that much. I left the umbrella at the base of the tree since I was already soaked, and walked into the tall grass that bordered the path.
Suddenly, a slight spike of reiatsu made its presence known. My head snapped in the direction it came from, and I immediately went toward it. As I flashed toward the last trace of that reiatsu, I couldn't help but feel as if I'd felt it before. It felt like it was…
No.
That's impossible.
She's gone.
I shook my head again for what seemed like the 20th time today. She was gone—I accepted that.
But somehow…
…a part of me…
I finally arrived at where the source of the reiatsu was. The forest had cleared for the most part, and large boulders were now scattered about alongside the mountain's base. I looked around and still didn't see her. I felt like I was on such a wild goose chase; what if it wasn't even her, and she was already back with Obaa-san?
I'm such a fool.
Hyourinmaru didn't even have to chime in to tell me the real reason I came out here; he didn't have to tell me the real reason I would wander to the middle of an uninhabited forest in the middle of a storm.
I scoffed at myself, and turned back around toward where I'd came from.
Right before my first flash step, a sound stopped me in my tracks.
"Ah-choo!"
A sneeze?
I snapped my head back toward the sound, and as I did, a demonic, ear-piercing screech came from above.
I looked up to see something that couldn't be true.
An owl spiraled down from the sky; dive bombing behind one of the boulders.
The sound of clanking metal erupted immediately, followed by sharp gasping from what seemed like a female.
It couldn't be…
I flash-stepped to the boulder; heart racing and adrenaline pumping. I stopped a distance off from the boulder; taking in the scene in front of me.
There was a girl on the ground; chest heaving up and down as the rain fell upon her. A bright glow erupted beside her; the owl next to her retreating into the shape of a katana beside her.
She took the katana and began to prop herself up, and then…
She made eye contact with me.
I stared into her; she stared into me.
The rain stood still, the concept of time completely stopping in the instant we laid eyes on each other.
She got up, her body soaked to the bones; her longer, brown, wet hair parted and laid against both sides of her chest.
Her facial expression was a shocked one; on the verge of frowning from overwhelming emotion.
"T-Toushi-rou; y-you're alive…it's really y-you!" She stuttered.
I threw away all caution and abandoned every rational thought. No explanation mattered; the only thing in the world that mattered at that moment, was the drenched female in the yellow yukata directly ahead.
"A-Azumi!"
I ran to her.
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me with every fiber of my being. She gripped onto me—her body shaking against mine.
I cried.
I cried just as much as when she died.
She cried with me; the two of us mirroring the rain the fell around us.
"Toushirou, I-I can't believe you're alive…and I can't believe you found me," She whimpered.
I quickly wiped my tears and pushed her back to look into her face. I moved her wet hair away from her beautiful face, and held her head in my hands.
"Azumi," I muttered in between my own gasps.
"Y-You're alive; it's r-really you," I stuttered.
"I'm so sorry," I whimpered, breaking eye contact for a moment in frustration.
"I-I'm sorry I let you down, I didn't save you; I didn't—"
She put those delicate hands I missed so much around my face, and looked me directly in the eye, those gentle, brown orbs staring into my broken soul.
"Toushirou, it's okay; its all over now. I'm here, and I'm alive—you did save me," She cooed.
I put my head down against her and wept.
It wasn't okay; everything that I let happen was not okay. I didn't deserve to live; I completely hated myself for it. I lied to her, I couldn't protect her—
"Hey," She whispered, moving just next to my ear.
"I love you, Toushirou,"
Those words…they shook me to my very core; I needed to hear them, I needed to hear them from her…
She squeezed me tightly, and kissed the side of my head.
"You came for me—that's all that matters. I'll always be with you; no matter what," She cooed.
I pulled myself back and stared into her eyes. Even though she was crying along with me, her eyes were warm and calming; with just a look, I could tell she meant her words in every way. She lightly placed her hand against my cheek, and I kissed her flushed ones in return along with her forehead, her nose, her chin. I took in absolutely every part of her, and let it begin to soothe the deep hurt and hatred within me.
I pulled back, and looked at her smiling face; that toothy grin of hers I longed to see for such a long time now physically in front of me, happening; not just a memory.
"Azumi, I love you, and I will always be by your side," I responded.
I couldn't hold myself back any longer.
I kissed her.
Kissed the lips of the girl that was the most important being in my universe; the one I never wanted to spend another minute without; the one I loved.
She pulled back from the kiss, and gently placed a small peck on my lips before nuzzling herself in my arms again.
"I've missed you so much! I-I'm so happy you're alive!" She giggled and sniffled as she pulled me in with all her strength.
I kissed the top of her head again, and held her tightly.
"I'm here, Azumi, and I will never let you go,"
I looked up at the grey, clouded sky, and remembered the first time I had ever met her.
It was raining just as it is now.
The rain brought the most important person in the world to me then—now it brought her back to me again. For the second time, it brought the most beautiful, and caring person in the world to me.
I closed my eyes.
I let the rain drop down onto my cheeks.
All my sorrows…
All my pain…
All my sins…
Everything…
Was now being washed away.
All that remained was the girl standing before me.
The girl that I cherished the most, the girl that I cared about the most; the girl that I…
She moved slightly, and I looked back down at her. She smiled up at me, and closed her eyes; that small smile she wore warming my entire being in just one moment.
Takashita Azumi—the girl I cradled in my arms…
I pulled her close, and pressed her against me.
"Azumi…"
I squeezed her tightly.
"You are my everything."
-[×]—[×]—[×]-
One more thing, readers…
PSYCHE!
STAY TUNED FOR THE BONUS CHAPTER TOMORROW! ;D
