Okay, I haven't updated in a long while and... I'm gonna tell you the truth why. I really wanted reviews, like really reallly wanted reviews, and I was being petty and a cruel writer, and not updating because I didn't get my 15. I got eleven, which makes me pout. I know I'm mean. Well, that's the biggest reason, the other two were one - Inheritance came out, and I can proudly say I read it in three days and beat my friend. Also, I read it when there were many assessment items given out, and for the past few weeks I have been frantically doing them, and I still am, but since I haven't gotten back the drafts on the three biggest items and I barely ever study for exams and because I finished my Eglish assignment *breathe in* I decided to update.

So, there is my long, slightly stupid explanation. If you have it in you to forgive me, could you please review after you read this chapter?


54. Lick you!

Edward told me when I reached the treaty line. I stopped the car and he jumped out, and was by my side, door open, in the time it took to blink. His eyes were worried, eyes swirling with many emotions. I couldn't identify them all before he'd pull me to him, and kissed all my thoughts away.

When he let go I was panting, and he smiled, the look in his eyes had lessened, replaced with almost amusement. "I'll be waiting for you," he said before I could ask him why he amused, and then he was gone. I saw a flash of bronze in the nearby woods.

I know he wasn't thirsty, but his eyes had had deep purple bags under them. I hoped he would drink something anyway; it wasn't healthy to be starving himself, even if he didn't need blood as often as humans needed food. I'd hate for him to be at weakness, especially with Victoria around somewhere.

The thought of that red headed vampire made my heart race, made me slam the accelerator down and speed up the highway to La Push. I'd done this a million times before, but I was still hoping there were no police about. My head thrashed from side to side, as much to check for police cruisers as to check for flashes of red in the woods.

I reached La Push in, well, not record time. I'd speeded much more in my dark stage than now. Still, I was at Billy's very quickly. I hurried to the porch, feeling safer already, but still whipping my head to each side, trying to see all areas of the woods at once. It was silly; this area would be one of the most protected in the wolves' territory.

I was happy when Billy opened the door. He took one look at me, and then glared. "Jake doesn't want to see you," he said, swinging the door shut.

I jammed my foot in the door, cringing as it slammed into it, sure it would leave a bruise. I pushed the door open. "I don't care," I said, and jumped over Billy's chair, running to Jacob's room. I ignored Billy's yells from behind me, I had to see Jake.

He was sleeping in his new bed, the larger, new one in the bigger room I'd built him, blankets tangled in a mess around him. The large bed, from a distance, made him look almost normal sized, rather than the massive teenager he actually was. In sleep he looked so much calmer, so much more normal, like the faces of the carefree teens in my school. I wished he could have been normal, that he didn't have to deal with the stress and worry that he did every day. He did look a little younger, I wouldn't say young, he still looked older than me, but he didn't look like the ever calm, weight on the world, kind of guy he sometimes looked like after he'd phased.

I walked over to him on the bed, sitting at the edge of it, by his head. Billy wheeled in the doorway, watching with questions in his eyes. I smiled at him, putting a finger to my mouth, signalling for him to be quiet. He huffed and wheeled away.

I turned my attention back to the sleeping boy by my side. My hand itched to touch him, to trace the lines of his face. I could only resist the urge for a couple of minutes.

Jake started to stir with my touch, and being selfish I didn't stop. His eyelids fluttered and one opened, peeking up at me. I smiled down at him, hand running through his short hair. "Hey," I whispered.

"Bella?" he asked groggily. Then he smiled, and his large arms were around me. "Good dream," I heard him whisper as he pulled me to him, trapping me against him in the bed. I squirmed a little, and a confused look appeared on his sleepy face.

"You're not dreaming Jake," I laughed a little, pushing against his chest.

His confusion grew, and then his bleary, squinty eyes widened. "Bella, what are you doing here?" he asked quickly, releasing me like I'd shocked him with an electric current. This stops my mirth, the hurt and the anger at me. "What are you doing here?" he said again, this time in a hiss.

"I wanted to see you," I said, it was true, I did want to see him. After that, I wasn't sure. I wanted to make Jake happy, but I really didn't know how to do that. I wanted to kiss away his troubles, but that would only grow more, like taking the leaves off a weed, it would just grow back.

"I didn't," he said, the words a knife to my side. His expression as he said this was just as bad, worse. He said this with anger in his eyes, a frown furrowing his brow, his mouth turned down in almost a snarl.

"Okay, I'll go then," I jumped off the bed, walking to the door, counting down in my head, 3, 2, 1...

"Wait," Jacob called. Bingo, I almost smirked before turning. I crossed my arms under my chest, waiting. Jacob sat up in his bed, the covers a mess around him, tangling around his limbs. It was almost comical when he tried to stand, the sheets restraining his movement. "Don't go," he sighed, eyes averted. He pull at the blankets knotted around him, freeing himself and not looking at me at the same time – two birds with one stone.

"I'm not going anywhere," I assured him, walking back to his side, assisting in undoing a knot restraining his ankle. We sat for a few moments, simply working together, untwining his massive body from the blankets. Jeez, he must have some bad dreams to tangle himself so much.

"Why did you come?" he asked when he'd been freed. His voice was soft, as if he didn't really want the answer.

"Because you're still my best friend, Jake, you always were," I explained. I wanted to put it all on the table, so he understood my point of view. "You were always there for me Jake, no matter what. I just wanted, still want, to make you happy. I do love you Jake, but I love Edward more, and I'm sorry, because all I want is for you to be happy, and I'm the one making you not."

Jake listened silently to my speech, and stayed silent, contemplating, watching his feet, for a few more minutes after. The room was so silent that I almost got up to leave. I was stopped when Jake gripped my hand, his large, hot, strong grasp keeping me beside him.

I looked to his face, turned up to me. His eyes were fierce, burning black, staring into my blue. "You love me," he said quickly, quietly, "and you want me happy?" I nodded at his question, a sudden wariness in me. The emotion was fuelled when he smiled, the smile almost maniacal. "Then make me happy," he whispered.

I didn't see what happened next, he moved faster than I'd seen anyone move who wasn't a vampire, I guess werewolves were pretty fast too. I couldn't move as fast, and wasn't ready when he seized me, lips crashing to mine. They pressed hard, forcing my mouth open, his tongue invading my mouth. When I had been dating him, maybe I would have liked this, and I guess some sick part of me did, but the rest screamed to stop him, to get him off.

Jake was strong though, pulling me flush to him, large hands securing me still. I struggled in his grasp, trying to free my arms that were pressed almost painfully to his chest. I finally got them free enough to move my hands, and gabbed Jake's side, embracing my gift. I tried to force him still, but he was too preoccupied, his mind too focused to sway further than letting his arms loosen around my torso. I seized this opportunity, my hands travelling his body. I pretended to kiss him back, and for a second I really was, before my hands found their target. I pressed the sensitive points, and felt him stiffen beneath me, his arms falling slack at his sides.

I wriggled from under the heavy weights of his now limp limbs, staring accusingly at Jake. "Why did you do that?"

"What did you do to my arms?" Jake asked, looking down at the useless extensions from his shoulder, and then looking to me, eyes wild with anger and betrayal.

"Nothing permanent," I said, hiding a smile. I didn't have to hold back the expression long; my next thought was serious enough to stop any amusement growing. "Why did you kiss me? You know I'm with Edward, so why did you do it?"

"Because you said you loved me," he whispered, I moved closer to him to hear his next words. "You said you wanted to make me happy, and the only thing that will make me happy is you! I'm always going to be waiting for you. Your vampire," he sneered the word, "left you once. I'm waiting here for him to slip; I'll always be there, waiting to catch you when he drops you again."

"I'm glad you have so much faith in our relationship," I snapped, looking away. Edward wouldn't dump me again, he couldn't! I wouldn't let him leave again. My love for Edward was strong enough to last months, years, in his absence. If Jake hadn't been here, I wouldn't be away from Edward a moment more than necessary.

But Jake was here, and as much as I didn't like it, he loved me, and I him. I knew the relationship could only end in heartbreak, for the both of us, but I couldn't break it, not yet. I couldn't stand to hurt Jake, almost as much as I couldn't stand to hurt Edward, and by being with either I hurt the other. I felt like I was balancing on a tightrope, but if I stumbled, it wouldn't be me who fell, it would be the two people in my love that held the largest portions of my heart, both pulling it slowly, painfully, into two.

"Bella, please look at me, please," Jake begged, his voice so sad that I had to turn. No matter my pain, it didn't matter compared to his, or compared to Edward's. I never thought I'd be so thoughtful to someone else, I'd always been selfish.

"Jacob, I don't want to pick a side, I don't want to choose between you two. I couldn't stand the pain that would cause me, or more importantly, cause either of you two. So don't make me choose, Jake..."

"Because you'd choose him," he finished for me, his voice low, pained, almost capitulating.

I sighed, not wording my answer, because it was too close to what he'd said. I placed a hand on his shoulders, rubbing the back softly. "We can still be friends, at least," I said in what was supposed to be assuring, happy, but my voice was too soft, too sad for it to achieve the fact.

"At least," he mumbled in agreement, his voice fierce despite its barely audible volume. Then he looked up, a smile suddenly lighting his face, lighting the room. "So you going to give me my arms back? I can't give you a hug without them," he grinned.

I giggled, pressing the release points. He rolled his shoulders back when he regained use of his arms, large shoulder blades moving beneath his bare, russet back. He flexed his arms, and then shot me a grin before pulling me to him, swinging me around in a bear hug. I giggled with his chuckles, letting him swing me into my head spun lightly, and I felt a touch of a headache from the motion. Thankfully he set me down, and I quickly regained my composure. I'd found a trick to beat dizziness, after all, the feeling was simply your eyes and your ears disagreeing on your state of movement, so if you thought, 'I'm not spinning', usually all dizziness went away.

Jake grinned at my steadying hand I placed on his chest; I hadn't realized I'd reached out. I quickly withdrew the hand, subtly wiping it on my pants.

He pouted, "Oh Bella, I don't have cooteez."

"No," I agreed with a grin, "but you might have fleas."

He gasped, and glared at me. "Say that again," he dared.

"You might have fleas," I said grinning. He launched at me, and I skittered to the side, giggling all the while. Of course, the chase didn't last long, Jake's legs were longer, and he was faster. I soon felt his arms wrap around me, pinning me to the floor.

"Say my name," he growled, the affect marred by his laughter.

"No," I said.

"Say it, or god help me woman I will lick you!"

"See, you are a puppy dog." I laughed again.

He growled again, "Say my name! Say it!"

I felt a tip of something wet and slimy at my neck. "Jake," I screamed immediately.

"Gosh, you two could close the door, or, I don't know, get a hotel room." I felt a blush cover my cheeks as Jake's father appeared in the doorway, grinning down at us on the floor, where Jake was on top of me, yelling for me to scream his name. Yes, I did realize the second situation this could appear in.

Jake jumped off of me, his face beet red, but he was still grinning at me. "Sorry Dad, she couldn't keep her hands off me."

I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms. He laughed, so I huffed, storming out of the room, past Billy, into the lounge room. I flopped onto the lounge, turning on the TV, as Jake came back into the room, laughing slightly. I was trying to look angry, but my mouth twitched, and my frown grew into a smile.

Billy smiled seeing us, "It's good to know you two are back together and everything is sorted out."

My smile fell, as did the boy's beside me. "Billy, Jake and I aren't together."


I'm sorry!so sorry!, please forgive me!, and I would really love reviews.

Don't worry though guys, by the start of december all my assessment should be done and I'll have plenty of time to write Looking through her eyes and my book! It'll be great!

So please review, no minimum this time, but I would really love this story to get 1000 reviews. I'll update when most of my assignments are done.