She sat at home, her legs pulled up to her chest.

She hadn't talked to anyone.

Trevor had tried to get something out of her, but she refused to say anything.

She refused to believe that Cal was dead.

Emily had come over and the grieved together, and although Gillian knew it was harder for the young girl, she still seemed to feel bad for herself.

She did what had to be done. Like eating. But she hadn't gone into work.

Torres and Ben were worried about her, but there wasn't anything they could do and Trevor suggested that they stay away because she seemed to get mad whenever someone said 'I'm sorry for your loss' or 'He was a great man.' or anything like that.

She was mad when anyone suggested that he was dead.

She knew that he was gone and never coming back.

She just couldn't bring herself to believe it.

How could she?

JJ was going to pay. She would take him to court. Make sure that he got the death penalty.

Trevor was a great person. He kept up with her. He put up with her and didn't get frustrated with her silence.

He would just hold her when she needed to cried, which seemed to be every hour.

She was surprised that he didn't leave when he saw that she was strung out over Cal.

Trevor felt for her.

He was sad for her and continued to comfort her, even though she loved Cal more then him.

He had been there before. Losing someone you love is hard. He had his girlfriend leave him when his ex died.

It wasn't like this though. He ex-girlfriend died instantly in a car crash. He didn't hold her during her last moments of life.

That's why he was still with Gillian. That's why he continued to comfort her, because when he lost a very close friend, his girlfriend ditched him.

He wasn't going to do that to her.

She would eat. She wouldn't talk.

They had watched a movie, but she didn't pay attention. She just replayed the last moments of Cal's life. The kiss. The crying. How he begged her to just make it all end.

His voice... his pained voice rang in the back of her mind.

She could still feel his strong grip all over her body.

Everytime he moved his hands from her waist to her arms to her face. She could remember every little part of pressure that he had.

She couldn't sleep. She couldn't even close her eyes, because then she saw his bloody body.

She couldn't talk because she would just start crying.

She shouldn't... she shouldn't have... There was nothing that happened that she could have helped. There was no way that she could blame herself, and that's what bugged her the most.

He was dead and it was his own damn fault and that really pissed her off.

The weird thing about it was that no time seemed to pass.

She never knew what time it was.

She didn't even know how long ago it was that he died.

It was confusing.

It was frustrating.

It didn't seem real.

But nothing seemed real anymore.

Nothing seemed to really be happening.

Trevor had managed to make conversation with her once, about a movie or something.

Then they talked about someone from the movie that was British and she broke down.

Trevor had come in once and saw her with a photo album, smiling at pictures.

He joined her, seeing pictures of she and Cal. Some with Emily or other people. But mainly jsut her and Cal.

She sniffled as she saw them.

The one thing that confused her the most was that she hadn't really heard anything about a funeral.

She didn't want to hear about a funeral and maybe one had already been scheduled, but no one had really told her.

She refused to talk, what was the point in telling her things?

She'd have to talk at the funeral. She didn't really have too, but she felt obligated to.

She didn't want to think about a funeral. She went back to looking at pictures.

A/N: Another short chapter... sorry, but it's hard to write these ones! Stick with me. Please!