Chapter Fifty: I Need You

Greg rubbed his sore eyes, raising the binoculars once again to look out at the endless desert. The longer he was out there the more worried he got about Sara's safety. She had been missing hours now, he refused to go home or tell the helicopter to turn around until he had found her. They had already managed to find the car she was once stuck under, but there was no sign of Sara inside. Grissom and Catherine proceeded on foot patrol while Nick and Sofia followed the road in the Denali, hoping they might see Sara trying to make her way back to the city of Las Vegas.

Seven long hours later the rescue helicopter was finally called out. The search helicopter took Greg back to the city once the search was called off.

Greg couldn't face going to the hospital with the others. Instead he went back to the lab, crashing onto the break room sofa, waiting to hear news that his pseudo sister was still alive.

Praying that she really was alive and well.

Nick stayed at the hospital in the waiting room with Catherine, waiting to hear news on Sara. "Hey, where's Greg?" Catherine suddenly asked him as she couldn't see him in the waiting room with the others. Nick shrugged as he checked his phone for any messages. "You're not gonna go look for him?"

"I already left him three messages, he probably went home."

"Why don't you go look for him? The doctor said Sara's not gonna be awake for a while. I'll call you if there's any news. Go on, go find your fiancé." She insisted, practically pushing him out of his cheer to get him to leave.

Nick reluctantly climbed to his feet, giving her a smile as he walked off down the hall. He glanced in Sara's hospital room on his way past, looking at Grissom sat holding Sara's hand tightly at her bedside, desperately hoping and praying that she was going to wake up. As he looked in the room he feared that one day he was going to be sat in that very chair that Grissom was, holding Greg's hand as he desperately waited for him to wake up.

He quickly dialled Greg's number as he left the hospital, but there was still no answer. He grabbed a taxi back to the lab as that's where he left his truck, hoping Greg was still there too otherwise he didn't know where he would have gone.

As soon as he got to the lab, he head straight off towards the break room as that's where people told him that they saw him last, but there was no sign of him.

"Wendy!" Nick shouted as he spotted her in the hall, quickly hustling after her. "Have you seen Greg?"

"Yeah, he left about ten minutes ago."

"Thank you." Nick rushed off towards the elevator, taking it all the way down to the parking lot. As soon as the elevator doors opened he sprinted off towards his truck, quickly starting the engine. He started driving off towards their house, carefully watching the streets in case he saw Greg walking along them on his route. He eventually spotted him with his hands dug deep into his sweater pockets and his head hung low as it poured down with rain around him.

Nick curb crawled after him, winding down his window as he watched the traffic around him. "Need a ride gorgeous?" He shouted out the window. Greg stopped walking, turning to look at him through the blanket of rain around him. He watched as Nick put his brakes on, bringing the truck to a complete halt. "C'mon Greg," He reached across to open the passenger side door, waiting for him to climb inside. Greg thought about it a moment then climbed inside, pulling the door shut behind him. "You okay bud? You must be freezin'." Nick watched as Greg shivered, pulling his wet hood down to run his fingers through his wet hair. "Hey Greg, Sara's..."

"Don't tell me if it's bad." He interrupted him, whipping the drops of rain from his face that were carefully covering his tears.

"It's not bad Greg. Sara's alive. She's at the hospital with Grissom, Catherine and everyone. She's a little dehydrated but she's gonna be fine." He assured him.

"You sure?"

"Baby, would I lie to you?" Greg shook his head as he looked round at him. "I swear she's fine, you can call her later to check on her if you don't believe me."

"I believe you." Greg pulled his seatbelt down over his shoulder, leaning back in his seat as Nick turned the heater on. "I believe you because I trust you with my life."

"You do?"

Greg nodded round at him. "Technically I already have. I was straight before you kissed me." He slyly smiled round at him.

"You keep tellin' yourself that G." He winked round at him as he pulled up into their driveway. "And that wasn't your life . . . that was just a kiss."

"Calling that just a kiss is an insult Nicky." Greg wiped the rain drops from his face again, quickly climbing out the truck as soon as it stopped, heading off towards the front door, letting himself in.

Nick followed him in, watching Greg running straight upstairs to their room. Nick kicked the front door shut, hastily making his way off after Greg, finding him in their bedroom. He looked through the doorway at Greg lying flat on his stomach in the middle of the bed with his discarded wet hoody left at the doorway.

Nick pulled his boots off, helping Greg with his sneakers before he climbed onto the bed beside him, propping himself up on his elbow beside his head as he smoothed his other hand up and down his back. "Hey, what's the matter bud?" He pressed a soft kiss to his head, gently smoothing his palm up and down his back. "C'mon Greg, talk to me baby. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Greg's voice muffled against the pillow.

"Really? Nothin' at all," Nick sunk lower on the bed, wrapping his arms securely around Greg's shivering body. "Is this about Sara? Because she's goin' to be okay." He gently weaved his fingers through his soft hair, pressing kisses to the top of his head.

"It's not that." Greg slowly rolled over in his arms, looking up into Nick's eyes. "It just brought it all back. All that time we were looking for you. I can't lose you again Nick. What if that was you and I'd be left all alone?"

"Hey, I'm not goin' anywhere baby . . . and thanks for the lack of faith." He smirked. "What you think I wouldn't last out there?"

"You've had too many chances already. No ones that lucky, not even you." Greg snuggled closer, resting his head against Nick's shoulder. "I can't lose you Nicky . . . I love you. Seeing Grissom in so much pain over losing the one he loved, I never wonna feel like that."

"You won't because I'm not goin' anywhere."

Greg breathed in a deep breath against Nick's neck, wrapping his arm around his waist as Nick's fingers softly continued to smooth through his hair. "Are you sure Sara's okay?"

"She's fine G." Nick held Greg tightly against his chest, pressing his lips to his forehead. "I'm not goin' anywhere baby, I promise you . . . and Sara's fine. Everythin's okay baby."

Greg relaxed against Nick's body, breathing in slow deep breaths. "You smell like desert."

"I should, I've been out in it all day. So you got to ride the helicopter all night huh?"

"My eyes hurt."

Nick lifted Greg's head slightly, pressing soft kisses to his eyelids. "Lookin' out at the desert all day will do that to you G." He gently brushed his fingertips down the side of Greg's face, glad to have Greg back in his arms after watching Grissom going through the distress of losing a loved one all day. "Hey Greg, I love you baby."

"I know you do . . . I love you too. No more about work though." Greg whispered softly. "I don't wonna think about it anymore."

Pressing a kiss to Greg's forehead, he smoothed his hands around his partner's shivering body, despite the heat of his skin. Nick had warmed him up with his own body heat, but he was still shivering. "You wonna go to sleep?"

Greg shook his head, holding his empty stomach as it started to rumble again. "No . . . too hungry."

"C'mon up . . . we should get you some food. You're skinny enough as it is, don't need yah wastin' away before I marry yah." Nick smiled softly as he helped Greg to his feet, wiping away one of his lover's tears with his thumb. "No more tears okay sweetie? Everyone's okay. Okay?" Greg nodded inhaling a deep breath. "Good, now c'mon baby." He led Greg off down the stairs by his hand towards the kitchen, searching for something quick to make for them to eat.

Greg grabbed two beers from the fridge. Nick watched Greg out of the corner of his eye. He didn't say anything just watched as Greg contemplated whether to drink it or not.

Greg stared at the bottles in his hands, hesitant to open them.

Just when Nick thought he was going to put them back, Greg cracked one open, taking a large mouthful from the top before he set it down on the counter, taking slow deep breaths as he stabilised himself against the closed door of the fridge.

Nick walked around the counter to Greg, taking the unopened beer bottle from his hands. He set it down on the side beside the other, gently raising Greg's chin in his hand to look in his eyes. "Did that make you feel better?"

"Not really." Shaking his head, Greg gave out a heavy sigh of frustration. "Maybe I need something stronger?"

"No." Nick stopped Greg before he reached for the tequila bottle. "C'mon Greg, alcohol isn't the answer. C'mon think back to your twelve steps to recovery G."

"More than half of those steps we have to recite God in each line." Greg pulled himself up onto the counter, holding the cold beer to his head. "I'm not feeling very religious right now."

"Whoa, not for drinkin'." Nick pulled the beer away from Greg before he took another sip, pulling open the freezer for a frozen bag of peas. "Here, hold that to your head instead."

"Frozen peas don't go down as well as beer." Greg complained.

"That's the point." Nick pried the bottle from his surprisingly strong grip, forcing him to exchange it with the bag of peas. Greg groaned softly, reluctantly raising the cold bag of peas to his head instead. While he was distracted Nick quickly cleared away the beers before Greg felt tempted again, searching the fridge for some food. "Isn't now the time you're supposed to call your sponsor?" Nick queried.

"She's out of town . . . and I haven't called her in weeks. Not since you ditched me for Warrick."

"I didn't ditch you . . . you are still goin' to the AA meetin's right?" Nick looked up at Greg as he hesitated to answer. "You're not?"

"I didn't say that . . . I just cut back on a few group sessions. Nick, you've never been to one of these things, everyone's talking about their wives leaving them, their kids aren't perfect, they have thousands of bills due... it's so boring. I was dragged from my car and beaten up until I couldn't move a single limb in my body within an inch of my life . . . what's their excuse?"

Nick shrugged, placing his hands on Greg's knees. "Maybe you should switch to post traumatic stress therapy groups."

"They actually have those?" Greg questioned, dropping the peas to his side. Nick nodded as he reclosed the fridge. "I'm not going to anymore meetings. Listening to other people's problems, won't help me with mine. I'm not an alcoholic . . . I . . . comfort drink."

"Comfort drinkin' is what alcoholics do G. There's nothin' to eat in this house except ice-cream and potato chips." He noticed as he started searching the cupboards.

Greg shook his head. "There's frozen meals in the freezer with cooking instructions stuck underneath them." Greg pointed out to him. Nick pulled open the freezer again, grabbing one of the frozen lasagnes from the back. He flipped it over finding a detailed list of cooking instructions stuck underneath. "The Jean specialty. When she used to leave me alone at home for a weekend or something she'd leave a list stuck to the fridge of things I should eat and drink for the correct dosage of vitamins and minerals for my day."

"Huh, maybe I should try that with you." He teased him. Greg rolled his eyes at him, replacing the frozen bag of peas to his throbbing head. "Hey, what's Salmon Roulade?" Nick asked curiously as he read the note left on the lasagne in front of him.

"It's kinda like sushi . . . only it's salmon in cream cheese and spinach." Greg looked at the note Nick was looking at, reading a special note left by his mother for them:

Boys, this would do great as a romantic meal for two, for starters you might want to prepare some Salmon Roulade and perhaps some tiramisu for dessert.

Enjoy! ~ Jean

"See, now she's planning our meals. I'm surprised she's not planning which underwear we wear for each day." Greg smirked as Nick looked up at him shocked. "Yeah, hopefully I was kidding about that . . . hey, did you say ice-cream and potato chips?" He asked him curiously. Nick nodded, looking up at Greg as he removed the bag of peas from his head again. "You know, we still have to watch that movie we rented. Fancy a movie snuggle with some junk food?"

"Are you sure? I thought you were tired?"

"A movie snuggle will send me right off to sleep."

Nick replaced the lasagne in the back of the freezer with the rest of the frozen meals, looking at Greg a moment before he made his decision. Usually he was against junk food eating, but he figured after the day they had they deserved a little comfort food. "Okay."

"Cool, we got some PB and J in the cupboard too."

"No thank you, you know I hate the stuff."

"I've never seen you eat it so how would I know you hated it?" Greg grabbed the half empty jar from the cupboard along with a spoon as he jumped down off the counter, searching the cupboards for the potato chips. Nick grabbed one of the many tubs of ice-cream that inhabited their freezer, following Greg off towards the front room to set up the movie to watch together.

Nick sat down first against the arm of the chair; before he could get comfy Greg pushed him along slightly so he could sit against the arm of the chair, draping his legs over Nick's lap. "Are you comfy there G?" He smirked at him.

"Yep, very," Greg smiled as he twisted off the cap of the PB and J, dipping his spoon inside. Nick cringed as he watched him take a mouthful, turning his head back towards the TV as the movie started. "Stop cringing." Greg poked Nick in the stomach as he continued to look at the PB and J in disgust.

"How can you eat that stuff G?"

"Easy . . . I put the spoon in my mouth and lick." Greg chuckled softly, dipping the spoon inside for another mouthful. "Wonna try it?"

Nick shook his head as he turned up his nose. "No."

"It's not so bad." Greg opened the ice-cream tub on his lap, starting to eat mouthfuls of it at the same time as his peanut butter and jelly.

"Don't." Nick poked him in the stomach as Greg touched his cheek with his cold fingertips. "Your hands are freezin' G."

"I know." He cheekily smiled. "That's the whole point." Greg lay his head back against the arm of the chair, watching as the opening credits of the movie started up.

"Greg," Nick reached for one of Greg's hands, holding it tightly in his own. "I'm not goin' anywhere. You know that right?"

"You can't know for sure. I bet when Sara started her day, she didn't know she was going to be kidnapped and dragged out to the desert to be buried under a car to then have to track her way back across the desert in the..."

"Greg, she's okay." Nick assured him again.

"But she could have died . . . that Natalie girl coulda picked any one of us to do that to."

"Let's just not think about it anymore." Nick pulled Greg into his arms, resting the younger man's head against his chest as he placed a soft kiss to his temple. "Hey we still have to pick a date for our weddin'." He tried to change the subject to a more exciting topic to take Greg's mind off it. "My mom's flyin' over at the end of the week to go over things with Jean and the reverend."

"We're having a minister?" Greg queried.

"Yeah," Nodding down at him, Nick's heart broke as he looked at the tears in Greg's eyes, threatening to spill. "You don't remember that? Your mom wanted us to get married the legal way, and my mom wanted it the traditional way in a church with the priest and everythin'."

"I don't wonna do it in a church."

"You don't?" Greg shook his head. "Why's that?"

"We're not even allowed to get married Nick, have you seen gay weddings protesters? Who's to say they won't be at ours?" Greg trembled in his arms as he thought about it. "What's this film called again?" He abruptly changed the subject again.

"I am Legend." Nick lifted the tub of melting ice-cream from Greg's hands, setting it down on the coffee table as he was starting to fall asleep and he didn't want ice-cream all over their sofa cushions. He carefully moved Greg to lay down flat against the sofa, while he lay on his side right beside him with his back against the cushions, propped up on his elbow to watch the rest of the movie.

"What date are we gonna pick then?" Greg spoke softly a few minutes later, pulling Nick's hand down to rest on the surface of his chest.

Nick shrugged as he looked down into the younger mans eyes. "December?" He suggested.

"That's only four months away."

"What if I meant 2008's December?" Nick asked him.

"Did you?" Nick shrugged, hugging Greg's body closer to his. "I like his dog." Greg indicated to the dog on the movie.

"You do, do yah?" Nick planted a kiss on Greg's cheek, wrapping his arms tighter around his waist. "Well your little puppy is gonna be able to come home soon. Thought of any names yet?"

"I have to name it?" Greg gasped with a chuckle.

"Yeah genius." Nick smirked, kissing his cheek again. "You haven't thought of any names yet?" Greg shook his head, turning back to the film. "What about Sam?" He suggested from the dogs name on the film they were watching.

"There's too many Sam's about . . . it's not really a dog kinda name. You realise we have to pick names out once we get kids too." Greg chuckled.

"We have until they leave for college for them." Nick joked. "I think dogs are easier though. Did you look for a suitable vet?"

"No, Jean gave me a whole portfolio on them. I picked one, the vaccinations are all booked."

"Wow." Nick smiled at him surprised. "You really are a great parent G."

"You really think so?"

"Let me see; you've booked the vaccinations, checked the fence for holes, you're readin' up on trainin' books and you've even researched the best dog foods." Nick smoothed his hands down Greg's chest kissing him on the neck. "I think you'd make a great father to a kid someday too."

"I think you will too Nicky."

Nick smiled softly, turning his head back towards the movie. "So, what did Jean say when you told her I was gettin' you a dog?"

"She calmed down after I said it's the first step to getting kids." He smirked, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. "My Papa Olaf said if we get ourselves a pet and a plant, and if they're both alive by the end of next year . . . then we're ready to have kids."

"What if one of them dies?"

"Then we suck."

Nick smiled shaking his head at him. "Well we haven't killed any plants in our house . . . yet, and all my pets as a kid died of old age. So I think we're pretty responsible." Greg nodded in agreement, lifting Nick's hand from his chest to weave their fingers together.

"I never thought I'd be this lucky to find someone who actually loves me."

"I love you Greg. You mean the world to me."

"I love you too." He turned his head slightly to join their lips for a sensual kiss. Nick smiled at him, delicately brushing his fingers through his hair as he upped the heat of their kiss. "I love it when you do that. I still get warm tingles in my tummy." Greg giggled softly.

"Good." Nick rasped, kissing the soft spot behind Greg's ear. "It's been ages since we last got to cuddle up on the sofa together." Nick smoothed his hands around Greg's body again, hugging him tightly.

"Coz we're always so busy."

"First day you thought of me before your book too." Nick chuckled.

"I still think of you even when I'm writing my book." Greg smiled at him. "You know I keep Nicky porn in my desk draw."

"Really? So that's why you always come lookin' for me once you finished a chapter." He laughed, running his hands under Greg's t-shirt.

"That and I miss you." Nick smiled, pressing a soft smooch to Greg's cheek. "You know this film is kinda sad; I thought we were trying to cheer each other up."

"You picked it and I assure you, Sara is absolutely fine. She's bein' released tomorrow." He assured him again.

"Nicky, seeing Grissom today . . . such an emotional wreck like that . . . it made me think, if either one of us dies or is kidnapped on the job . . . we don't have anything to..."

"I know baby." Nick interrupted as he had been thinking the same thing. "How about March?"

"For our wedding?"

"It's not too close, not too far. That leaves us with seven months plannin'; with both our mothers helpin' it shouldn't be too stressful." He explained, feathering his fingertips across Greg's smooth chest. "How's March then G?"

"Okay." After another quick kiss, Greg smiled as he looked up into his future husbands eyes, feeling even more excited now that they had a date. "March it is . . . now we just need to pick a day."

"We'll probably have to do it on a weekend, we'll check with Grissom when swing shift can cover us all."

"We can check that off the list then." Greg smiled widely.

"What's that now? One out of a million." He laughed. "We've got the church down, which you don't want..."

"Not just me. That was your mom's idea. My mom wants us to get married at the beach house in Maui. She thinks it'll be the perfect romantic setting."

"Isn't this supposed to be our day?" Nick asked him. "Do they even care what we want?"

"Well according to what you said, 'Marriage is a public declaration of love', so the public have to be happy too."

"I said that didn't I." Nick chuckled slightly. "They can have our weddin' day. We get our marriage to be together." Nick kissed Greg on the forehead, eyelids, nose then lips. "I love you . . . I only want to be with you."

"I love you and only want to be with you too Nicky."

"Are you watchin' this film?"

"Well Sara said the dog dies . . . I really don't wonna see that part, so let's turn it off while it's still alive."

Nick reached for the remote, clicking it off. "Done . . . so bedroom?"

"You need to shower first; you're covered in sand still." Greg pointed out, ruffling his hand through his sandy hair.

"You don't wonna join me?"

Greg shook his head. "Too tired to stand up for that long."

"Okay, I'll jump in the shower; don't fall asleep like last time." Nick cautioned him, climbing to his feet.

"That was one time Nicky!" He protested. "I worked a triple shift, you try staying awake for one of your impossibly long showers after a triple shift dumpster diving all over town." Greg giggled, being pulled to his feet into Nick's arms.

"I'll hurry." Nick snatched another kiss, quickly making his way off up the stairs. Greg followed close behind, watching Nick stripping open his shirt and pulling his belt out then jumped out of his trousers and boxers on his way to the bathroom.

Greg laughed at him as he almost fell over. "Don't break anything Nicky. I don't want any excuses." He teased him.

"I'm fine." Nick shouted, stepping under the shower spray quickly. Greg dropped to the bed, rolling onto his back in the middle of it. Nick quickly showered down all the sand from his hair and body, feeling the tiny grains scratching at the surface of his skin, making it feel like he was being bitten all over.

Nick repeatedly kept having to snap his eyes open, just to make sure there wasn't any biting ants crawling all across his body. He shivered at the memory, running his fingers across the many scars on his arms and chest. No one at work ever noticed, but up close he could see the bumps all over his body, making it look like he permanently had goosebumps everywhere.

He wondered if Greg ever noticed them, he never brought it up when they were together. Maybe he did notice, but he didn't care since he had scars of his own.

Nick soon emerged from the shower with a towel wrapped his waist, looking at Greg laying fast asleep on the middle of the bed. He dropped heavily onto it, waking Greg who had a wide smile on his face. "I told you not to fall asleep Greg."

"I was resting my eyes, thinking of you naked." He sleepily murmured, rubbing his eyes open.

"You don't have to think about me naked now." Nick straddled Greg's hips, dropping the towel to the floor beside the bed. "Coz I'm here now." He rasped. "Why aren't you naked?"

"That's where you come in." Greg giggled as Nick began to strip him of his clothing, grinding their equally aroused parts together.

Nick joined their lips, gliding their moist warm tongues against each other. They moaned into another kiss, arching their hips towards each other. Greg parted his legs to wrap around Nick's waist, pulling him closer. Nick softly sucked Greg's bottom lip, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes.

"Hey Greg, I was thinkin'; now we're gettin' married, officially. Did you wonna stop using condom's?"

"Seriously?" Greg asked with a wide smile on his face.

"Yeah, we're not gonna be seein' anyone else are we?" Greg shook his head. "We're both completely clean and healthy. There's a chance we could get infected at work..."

"Okay."

"Are you sure coz..."

"I said okay Nicky." Greg interrupted him with a wide smile. "Just don't tell my mom." Nick smiled in an ear to ear grin, grabbing the lube off the side table, slicking up two fingers to enter Greg's body.

Greg gasped at the welcomed intrusion, letting his eyelids flutter as Nick's fingers slid in and out of him. Nick eased in a third finger, smiling as Greg arched into his touch, softly moaning his name. He saw the familiar glow in Greg's twinkling eyes knowing it was just enough.

Nick coated himself in lube; no condom this time, lining himself up with Greg then slowly started thrusting inside of him. Greg eased himself closer, pulling Nick deeper inside of him. He wrapped his legs around his back again, pawing at his fleshly washed hair, clutching him closer. Nick could see the tears in his fiancés eyes; he decided not to ask as Greg needed him right now. He was clutching him tightly, tighter than he's ever held him before.

Greg had been emotional all day. Sara was like a big sister to him and he thought he was going to lose her. Nick however held back his emotions, forgetting to eat or sleep until she was found.

Nick's warm seed came inside of Greg, giving him a fullness feeling, something he had never felt before. He too came between their grinding bodies, letting his tears pool down his face. Nick went to pull out, but Greg held him in place.

"No, stay . . . stay in me." He pleaded. Nick nodded, resting against Greg's chest, wrapping his arms around his warm body. "I love you Nicky." He softly murmured.

"I love you too baby."

Greg gently cupped Nick's face in his hands, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Nick."

"Me too G. I don't care if you don't wonna get married in a church, I just wonna be with you for the rest of my life."

Greg smiled widely, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "You know we don't have any birth control in the house." Greg sweetly joked.

"Uh oh, don't worry honey. I'll support you durin' your pregnancy." He teased him.

"I think my dad would castrate you if he found out you got me pregnant before our wedding." Greg teased him back.

"I didn't know your fathers traditional." Nick pulled out of Greg, clicking the light off beside the bed as he spooned him tightly.

"He is. Not as traditional as your parents. But he wants us to have a traditional wedding. It's the only thing he's told me about our wedding so far."

Nick snuggled closer, wrapping his arms tightly around Greg's body in front of him. "He is okay with us gettin' married though right?"

"Yep, he loves you. You're the son he always wanted." Greg leant right back against Nick's chest, closing his eyes. "My family love you; you have nothing to worry about."

"My mom and sisters love you. They think you're adorable." Nick pressed a warm kiss to the back of his neck. "I do too. G'night G, I love you."

"Love you too." Greg murmured softly, getting comfy against the pillow as he began to fall asleep. Nick clutched his warm body tightly, trying to do the same but he couldn't stop his skin from crawling all over, making it impossible for him to fall asleep.

Being out in the desert looking for Sara, reminded him so much of being trapped back in that coffin. It brought back all his bad memories of his thoughts and fears that he would never again get out of that coffin.

Nick shook himself awake a few hours later, having to click on the light beside the bed as he could feel his skin crawling all over. As the light clicked on it made him jump and his breathing started to speed up as it reminded him of the light in his coffin.

Nick lifted Greg from his arms, scrambling off the bed to check his body for any ants. He itched and scratched at the surface of his skin as he padded his way to the bathroom, splashing his face with some cold water to calm himself down.

Nick searched the cabinet for his Valium that he hadn't had to take in a long time because he thought the dreams had finally stopped. Twisting off the cap, he threw back two pills with a handful of water, trying to stop his body from shaking, but it seemed like an impossible task to do right now.

Gripping the edge of the sink, he inhaled heavy deep breaths as he tried to return his breathing to normal. "Nicky." Greg's sleepy voice called out to him.

"I'm comin'." Nick shouted back, drying his face on a towel. He hid the Valium bottle behind some aspirin in the mirrored cabinet, quietly returning to the bed to spoon Greg once again. He clicked the light off as he hugged him tightly, trying to keep his body from trembling as he snuggled closer.

"Are you okay?" Greg whispered, half asleep.

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep baby." He whispered as he tried to do the same.

For the next few days Nick continued to shake himself awake from continuous nightmares that seemed to suddenly come back with a vengeance after having to deal with the disappearance of Sara. While he was looking for her, he closed off his emotions, trying to focus on the task at hand, but now it was all coming back on him, giving him endless restless nights of sleep and his PTSD was all starting to come back too. He found himself shivering whenever he saw a bug, feeling his skin crawling all over.

He couldn't deal with this right now; he had so much on his plate already, which only made it worse as he tried to ignore it.

A week later things only got worse.

Nick awoke once again, feeling his body shaking and sweating all over. He turned his head to the side to look for Greg, instead to be faced by a giant ant in his bed. He shook with fear as he saw it's giant arms and legs reaching out to him, the pincers around it's mouth ready to bite as it closer and closer towards him.

Nick shook himself awake again for real this time, feeling Greg's warm body on top of him. But he had to get up as he couldn't stop his body from shaking, violently. If he stayed there any longer his panic breathing would make him hyperventilate and he'd wake up Greg.

Gently lifting Greg as he crawled out from under him, he carefully set him down on the pillow, watching him get settled before he head off out the room and down the stairs towards the kitchen to where he left his Valium the night before. Grabbing a glass from beside the sink, he ran the tap until it was cold, filling the glass halfway. Setting it down on the side, he grabbed for the bottle of Valium on top of the fridge, twisting it open quickly in his hands as his heavy panic breathing started to make him wheeze.

A light suddenly clicked on across the room, startling him even more as it reminded him of the light in the coffin once again.

The bottle in his hands scattered to the floor, spilling the pills from it all around his feet, causing them to roll off in all directions.

Nick looked up to meet Greg's concerned gaze, trying to stop his hands from shaking and calm his breathing as Greg walked over to him. Instead of asking what was wrong, Greg dropped to his knees, helping Nick to pick up the escaping pills, pouring them back into the bottle.

Nick kept two in his hand to swallow back with his water. He set the glass back down on the side then looked at Greg, hoping he wouldn't ask him as he didn't want to recall his nightmare once again. He was trying to get it out of his mind, and he couldn't do that if Greg knew what he was dreaming about.

Instead Greg took him by the hand, leading him off back up the stairs to their bedroom. While Nick climbed back into bed, Greg opened the windows a little to let a soft breeze in. He climbed into bed with Nick again, wrapping his arms tightly around him as Nick continued to try and calm down his body from the shakes.

Greg pressed his soft lips to the side of Nick's head, smoothing his hands up and down his body to softly sooth him. Nick felt his heart rate and breathing finally beginning to calm. He wrapped his arms around Greg, feeling safer already with his warm body pressed against his own. "It's okay Nicky." His soft voice whispered against his ear, sending him right off to sleep again.


Nick looked up as Greg walked back into the kitchen where he was sat with his coffee, hearing him talking but he couldn't make out the words he was saying. It just sounded like background noise to him. "Nicky!" Greg almost shouted at him, leaning across the counter in front of him.

Nick shook his head, trying to snap himself out of his daze as he looked up into Greg's eyes. "Huh?"

"I said don't forget to pick up your mom from the airport after work." Greg sweetly smiled at him.

"Oh," Nick nodded as he remembered. "Okay, where are you goin'?" He frowned at him as he looked up at the time.

"Work, I got the early shift remember. Grissom said I'm maxed out on overtime and he'll get in trouble with Ecklie again, and he already is in enough trouble over the Sara thing last week. So he moved me to help swing shift for the week as they're short staffed." Greg pressed a kiss to Nick's forehead, heading over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

Nick glanced up at the clock, trying to concentrate instead of keep spacing out every few seconds like he was. "Greg, swing shift doesn't start for another hour."

"I know." Greg pecked another kiss to his cheek, grabbing his keys off the counter.

"Where are you goin' then?"

"Jogging. See you later babe." He shouted back as he head off towards the front door.

"I love you." Nick shouted before he left.

"Love you too." He heard Greg shout back before he heard the front door close.

Nick climbed off the stool once he was gone, reaching for the bottle of Valium set on top of the fridge once again. He threw back two more pills with a sip of his coffee, setting the bottle back on top of the fridge.

Nick jumped as he heard a noise behind him, surprised to see Greg leant against the frame of the kitchen door. "You know Nicky . . . we are gonna have to talk about this eventually."

"Nothin' to talk about. I thought you were goin' out?"

"Forgot my water." Greg head over to the fridge, grabbing it off the counter beside it where he had left it. "You know, we keep saying we're going to be more honest with each other, but whenever this stuff happens to us we always keep it to ourselves." Greg looked up into Nick's eyes, waiting for him to speak but he decided to remain silent, still.

Greg sighed softly, placing his bottle of water and keys down on the side again. "What are you doin'?" Nick questioned him.

"I'm not going anywhere when you need me."

"I don't." Nick objected, but Greg wasn't hearing any of it. He took him by the hand, leading him off towards the front room. Before Nick could protest again, Greg pushed him back onto the sofa, straddling his thighs. "Greg, I don't need you. You can go." He insisted as Greg sat down on his lap.

"You do, you're just too afraid to ask. You always have a way of getting me to talk when I'm down, so I'm gonna do the same to you, and you'll make me late for work if you don't talk." Greg wrapped his arms around Nick's neck, looking into his eyes, waiting for him to speak.

Nick looked down out of Greg's gaze, placing his hands on the younger mans thighs. "It's nothin' Greg..."

"Nothing doesn't wake people up in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking. Nothing doesn't make you OD on your Valium..."

"I did not." Nick protested, looking up into his lovers eyes with a pouting lip.

"Yes you did too. Yesterday you took three when you thought I wasn't looking. Nick you haven't slept a decent night's sleep all week. What's going on?"

"Bugs."

Greg looked at him confused as though he hadn't heard him right. "Huh?"

"Bugs G . . . I'm seein' em everywhere. Mostly ants. I can feel em crawling on my skin when I'm in bed; yesterday I woke up to a giant one. The other night I dreamt I walked up the aisle of this church, stood at the front was this freakin' giant ant in a weddin' dress." Greg bit his lip, trying not to laugh as this was very serious. "See why I didn't tell you now . . . you think I'm freakin' insane."

"No." Shaking his head, Greg pressed a kiss to his temple. "I don't think you're insane Nicky. What brought all this on?" Nick shrugged, turning his eyes back towards his lap. Greg leant forwards on Nick's thighs, looking at the scars of ant bites across Nick's bear arms. "Maybe it's time to see your therapist again." Nick immediately shook his head. "Why not? The drawing helped with your anger then you suddenly stopped going to see him, why?"

"It doesn't matter G."

"Yes it does, you can't keep doing this Nick. You can't depend on the Valium to get you through the day. That's drug seeking behaviour. And what are you going to do when your prescription runs out?" Greg tried to reason with him, having seen this happen to a friend of his in college before.

"You want me to go back to my therapist and tell him I had a dream about a giant ant in a weddin' dress? He'll have me committed."

Greg tried to stifle his laugh as this was a very serious matter. "He won't . . . it's just a dream Nicky. Maybe it's not the bugs that's got you all freaked out." Nick looked up to meet Greg's gaze. "Maybe the ant in the wedding dress is trying to tell you something... like maybe you think marrying me would be worse than the coffin?" He suggested.

"Why would it be tellin' me that?"

Greg shrugged as he looked down at his hands in his lap. "Maybe you're not ready to marry me yet. With everything that's going on..."

Nick gently lifted Greg's chin in his hand, just enough to look into his eyes. "I want to marry you Greg. Marryin' you is a dream come true, not a nightmare. The ants are my nightmare, not the weddin'."

"How can you be sure? You said it yourself you woke up next to a giant ant. Was I there?" Nick shook his head. "See, your subconscious must be thinking I'm a..."

"You're a what? Giant ant?" Nick couldn't help but smile. "I think I'd have noticed by now if my boyfriend was a giant ant Greg." He chuckled softly. "You're the only good thing in my life, why would my subconscious be thinkin' that? I've never been this happy before."

"Maybe now that we've set the date and all the planning's coming along, you do think that marrying me would be a nightmare though. You never had these types of dreams before."

"Trust me, it's not you." Nick joined his lips with Greg's, giving him a soft tender kiss as his hands slid up the younger mans back beneath his t-shirt.

"Knock, knock." A voice suddenly came from the door.

Nick and Greg quickly pulled apart, looking around to see Warrick stood in the hallway open mouthed. He knew they were together, he just never expected to walk in on them like this. His best friend that he had known for years as a girl chaser was being straddled by the young goofy lab tech with Nick's hands beneath Greg's shirt and their lips locked in a passionate kiss that he only ever saw between men and women.

A few seconds of awkward silence later, Nick lowered his hands as Greg pulled his t-shirt back in place. "Warrick, you're early." Greg quickly scrambled off the couch at the sight of his shocked face, pulling his t-shirt down as far as it would go to cover his semi hard on.

Nick climbed to his feet, wiping his lips with the back of his hand as Warrick's jaw slowly closed as he realised how long he had been hanging it open like that. "Yeah... I er... I... I'll go wait the car." Warrick quickly head back off out the door, practically running down the drive to get to the safety of his car.

"You knew he was comin' over?" Nick asked Greg once Warrick was out of earshot.

Greg nodded his head as he licked his lips. "He's been put on swing shift too, so we were gonna carpool to work." Greg explained, rushing off to the kitchen to grab his keys.

Nick stayed stood in the front room; the look on his best friends face was still running through his mind. He started to worry what they were all going to do once they saw them kiss at their wedding.

Nick was so immersed in his thoughts that he couldn't hear Greg talking as he came back into the room. He didn't even snap out of his thoughts completely until Greg snatched a kiss, waving him goodbye. Nick nodded as Greg head off out the door. He leant over the sofa, staring out of the window as Greg climbed into Warrick's car, wondering how the tension was going to be in the car after Warrick had just walked in on them kissing like that.

"Sorry." Warrick apologised as he pulled out of the driveway.

"For what? I forgot I left the door open."

"No," Warrick shook his head, inhaling a deep breath before he spoke. "I mean for the way I looked."

"Relax; if I walked in on two of my best friends kissing like that, I'd do the same thing. You're forgiven, just as long as you don't bring it up with Nick." Greg smiled at him, fiddling with his radio.

"Hey, Nick may let you get away with that, but this is my car Sanders." He sternly warned him, flipping it over to some heavy bass music and cranking it up so the speakers actually vibrated the seats. Greg could feel the pulse of the music in his chest as it was so loud. "Why can't I bring it up around Nick?" Warrick shouted over the beat of the music.

"Huh?"

"Nick, why can't I bring it up around him?"

"Because he'll worry about it!" Greg shouted, barely able to hear himself. "I told you, he cares about what you think. He'll leave me if you don't agree with our relationship."

"Oh . . . Sorry!" Warrick shouted, turning off towards the crime lab.

Greg gave out a grateful sigh as the car came to a halt and the speakers went dead. He could still feel the vibrations in his body as he climbed out of the car, trying to pop his ears so he could hear properly once again.

Warrick locked up his car, leading the way off towards the elevators. "Still, I am sorry Greggo." He apologised again.

"You don't have to be, shocked looks are okay. It's the people that cringe that get to me. Once Nick and I are married though, nothing will bother me anymore."

Warrick gritted his teeth as the doors had opened on Ecklie and the Undersheriff a few seconds into Greg's speech. Greg turned his head towards what Warrick was looking at, noticing the two of them looking at him completely shocked and disgusted at the same time.

"Uh . . . oh..."


Based around the episode 'Dead Doll' in case you didn't notice :D I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry, I gave you a cliffe. But you won't have to wait too long, I just have to make a few changes to the next chapter before I post it.

Thanks so much for your reviews on the last chapter. I'm glad you liked it.

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