Trigger warning with this chapter. Thank you to Historia for writing this chapter out. I think it was very brave of her to do just to write out her experience.
Helga felt a sickening feeling happening in her stomach. It was such a strong punch to it followed by a harshest pinch. Wandering into the bathroom she was soon greeted with a horrible surprise as she called out for her mother. Hearing those rushed footsteps in her room followed by her mom's concerned voice, Helga held something in her hands. She was trembling.
"Mom?"
Miriam never heard such fear in her daughter's voice before as she went to examine what was in her hands. Her daughter was going to stay home today. "You are staying home today." She told her gently.
Helga nodded her head as she sat down heavily. "I don't feel good."
Bob is going to find out about this unfortunately. "We have to bring you to the hospital honey." Miriam informed her as she went to ready her daughter.
Helga was scared. "Dad is going to kill me."
Coming back to her, Miriam cupped her face gently in her hands. "Shhh. I'll handle your father. Concentrate on you right now. Call Arnold to tell him you are staying home."
"I was picking up Phoebe today. I'll call her." Slowly Helga stood up to head to her phone to call up Phoebe. "Hey Pheebs. I can't get into it now, but I'm not going to school today. I came down really sick this morning. Yeah I'll see you tomorrow." Hanging up she turned to her mom as she felt the cramps happening all over again.
Stepping into the room, Bob saw how his daughter was looking. "What's going on here?" He looked between Helga and Miriam.
Helga was dropping down on her knees from feeling weak. "Dad." She felt dizzy.
"We are bringing her to the hospital, B." Miriam told her as she tried to keep her daughter up. "Help her up."
Snapping out of his stupor, Bob lifted Helga up in his arms before they left to go downstairs. His mind was filling up with questions but it seemed that as blind as he was to womanly problems in the past, this was blaring him right in the face right now.
Outside, Bob placed her in the backseat as Helga complained of pains. He couldn't help himself as he saw her hold her stomach like that. Wanting to have a in depth conversation about what was happening and his baby girl in pain, Bob quickly went to the drivers side to get in so he can get her to the hospital.
Helga felt more gushing of her insides coming out. She lifted her teary eyes up to her mom to silently plead to her. To feel her mom ensuring her that everything will be all right, Helga didn't as she closed her eyes to try to fight away the tears, but they wanted to come out. They wanted to greet the world. She felt helpless.
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Miriam looked at her husband pacing in the living room while their daughter rested upstairs. She knew he will make a big deal out of this now that he knows the truth. Miriam knew her daughter and Arnold are responsible. She knew it could happen to everyone.
"B?" Miriam needed him to talk since he had been silent all this time.
Bob stopped his pacing. "I had an inkling they were doing that thing that I don't want to think of my daughters doing." He started off in saying. "I know they are both good kids and could of handled it."
Miriam knew there was more to this. "What are you thinking about?"
His face seemed to have dropped. "I didn't want her to go through this thing. I don't want either of them to." Bob felt like he tact on twenty more years to his body right now. "Remember when you got pregnant a second time? This was shortly after having Olga?"
Miriam sniffled as she thought about it. "We were still not able to support Olga and us, but we were willing to try."
"It broke us when you lost it." Bob sat down heavily on the couch next to her. "We never told the girls."
She knew that was the partial reason why they neglected Helga so badly in the beginning. "I know, but Helga will need us in this." Miriam felt like she was sinking into the cushions.
Anita entered the living room knowing fully well what a delicate situation that was happening today. "I informed Sid not to come today due to an illness in the family." She spoke gently.
"Thanks. We appreciate it." Bob told her not even bothering to look back to her as he spoke. All his focus was towards the ceiling where he was focusing on, Helga.
Upstairs, Helga was laying curled on her side sobbing away. She felt empty inside. While she wasn't ready for a child right now, she didn't want to lose a part of herself and Arnold. Clutching her pillow hard, she asked the one question, "Why?"
Feeling a shifting of her mattress, Helga felt her mom's arms wrap around her. "It was just a horrible moment to tell you that you both weren't ready." Miriam spoke gently. "You are a very healthy girl and it happens."
That didn't seem to make her feel any better. "What will Arnold think about this?"
"Oh sweetie, he'll still love you. He is a very understanding boy. You know how lucky you are to have someone like that?" Hearing her daughter sobbing harder, Miriam felt confused. "Sweetie?"
She felt like a failure. What if it happened again to her when they are ready to have children? "I just feel like a failure. What if I just can't have kids?"
"Shh. Don't talk like that at all." Miriam squeezed her eyes shut. "Even I had a miscarriage too."
Pulling out of her arms, Helga turned just to face her. "What?"
Moving some strands out of her face, Miriam smiled a bit too weakly. "It was some time after having Olga. We still didn't have a lot, but we were excited." Closing her eyes again she released a shuddering breath. "I lost it. I didn't want to and I know something snapped in me and your father to make us not so excited in having you."
Helga tilted her head down. "Oh."
Quickly she had to make her feel good about her existence. Miriam brought her head up again. "We are so sorry about that. It wasn't your fault when you are such a beautiful, intelligent girl. We are so proud of you. We aren't proud of how we treated you." Kissing her forehead, Miriam hugged her. "You are our gift."
She appreciated the words. "Thanks." Her stomach felt like it was filled with barbed wire. "Does this feeling go away?"
"Not entirely. It happens to be a learning situation." Miriam knew she was feeling the pain still. "Just know that you aren't alone in this."
She nodded her head as she closed her eyes to rest her weary eyes. She doubted she could get any sleep, but she could hope.
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Arnold felt the dread the second he drove through the gates. Phoebe said there was something off in Helga's voice this morning so with some flowers, he went up to the door to knock on it. Being let in, James said she is in her room. It wasn't lost on him that James appeared saddened so it had him walking quicker to the staircase where he ascended it all the way up to the second floor to head to her bedroom.
Opening the door there she was laying on her side sniffling away. Her back to him. Tissues here and there. He knew she wasn't sick. Something was troubling her. Placing the flowers down, Arnold spoke softly to her. "Helga?"
"Arnold." Her voice was so low and so hoarse that he could tell she had been at this for some time now. "I lost it."
His spine chilled. "What?" Is she meaning what she is talking about? Arnold wanted to mistake this.
"I lost the baby."
He was on the bed in an instant wrapping her up in his arms as they both sobbed. It made them feel both so broken right now as he heard her then apologize for losing it.
"I didn't know. I didn't know. I'm so sorry." Helga sounded desperate in her pleas. "The only thing that I know is one second I'm thinking I'm not pregnant to me holding something in my hands that came out of me." She grabbed his shirt as she continued to sob and clench her teeth. "I'm so sorry, Arnold."
"You are not at fault, Helga." Arnold had to let her know so she wouldn't destroy herself over this. "This isn't. You have to know this. It wasn't our time yet."
Her eyes met with his. "What if it never is? What if I can't have kids?"
Arnold saw how much she cried in how puffy her eyes appeared. She was still so beautiful. "Than we find another way. All I know is that you are the woman that I'm spending my life with."
It sounded strange to laugh even as weak as she did. Her head buried in his chest as they continued to hold one another. "It hurt so bad."
He could never imagine a pain like that in his life. "I'm sorry, Angel."
"I loved something already that I didn't know existed before. It was as sudden as me falling in love with you."
Helga's body felt voided of that extra life. The shot she had been taking still held that chance of pregnancy. They still took precautions, but it still happened. She took tests to rule out any chance of pregnancy, but this time it happened.
Arnold felt her grasping onto him as if he was her life preserver. To know that they once had a baby between them felt surreal. To know that he could of held that baby in his arms. To love it completely. To know knowing it was gone felt like it was ripped out of his own body.
Oh he knew that what he was feeling was a bit less than her. Mothers hold their children inside of them. They become completely attached to them, mind, body, and soul. Arnold knew that Helga's soul was aching as he felt new tears come out of her eyes.
Outside the room, Miriam wandered over to the railing to grasp onto it for dear life. Tears fell down her cheeks as she watched them fall down to the surface of the first floor. Memories were there of her own loss. Memories that seemed small compared to the hurt of your own child. She almost wanted to brush it off to pretend it didn't happen, but that would wound her daughter more. She was happy that Arnold loved Helga very much to the point that he would accept anything that life would come their way.
Bob had to stand outside in the garden. His reason was that he needed clarity in his mind as he began assembling a yurt. The same structure they had at the previous address. Bob wasn't angry nor disappointed in Helga for doing something very adult. Sure he wanted to keep both his daughters virgins for the rest of their natural lives. He just knew he couldn't. It was illogical.
He almost began to hate Arnold for putting his little girl in this position, but than again, he just couldn't. As much as that kid annoyed him in the very beginning, Bob now thought of him as a good person to be with his daughter. Watching them both together, he saw how in sync they were. They seemed more in sync than, Miriam and himself.
"Arnold came to visit Helga." James informed him. "Your wife seems visibly upset."
Closing his eyes, Bob turned around to head inside. He patted James on the shoulder on his way past. Inside he started up the stairs to see Miriam just standing there. Even as miserable as she was, Bob thought she was the prettiest thing ever as he went up to her to wrap his big burly arms around her.
"Just memories." Miriam didn't want Bob upset at Arnold for being here.
Nodding his head, Bob pulled away to silently step towards, Helga's room. He walked in to place a gentle hand on Arnold's shoulder. He smiled down to them in understanding. "You know, you can stay here with her as long as you like."
Arnold turned his red eyes to him just to smile just a little. "Thank you, Sir."
To see his strong daughter like this broke his heart. Walking towards her side, Bob brought his head down just to kiss her head. As he moved away he felt a hand grip him. Helga's eyes greeted him before she moved up to hug him. He wanted to protect her, but seeing how she moved back down on her bed just holding her abdomen showed how much he couldn't protect her.
"You have enough credits to graduate early." He was saying. "I'm sure Arnold does too."
It'll be strange to get out of school early and not see your friends on a daily basis. Helga was too foggy to think clearly as she just laid there. Pain etched her face.
"It is your decision." Arnold said.
"To not see our friends on a daily basis would be weird." Helga would miss their lunch time gatherings.
Arnold smiled. "I know, but it is your decision."
Nodding her head she laid on her side once more to face him. "Let me sleep on it."
Bob thought it was cute in how she said that to see her actually fall asleep. He watched as her body relaxed to the point of hearing soft sounds escaping her. She needed the rest. Nodding his head to Arnold he left the room to give them both some alone time.
Outside, Bob took Miriam's hand to escort her downstairs.
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Arnold hated to leave Helga, but he needed to get home for his stuff. He needed to speak to his parents. Will they be disappointed in him?
Wandering into the boarding house, Arnold stepped into the living room grateful that his parents were there right now. His feet felt heavy as he stepped closer. "Can I speak to you?"
Miles smiled at his son warmly. "You can always speak to us."
Stella read it in his face. "What's happening?"
His hands shook a little as he told them what happened. His heart quaked. His brain hurt as he thought of his love laying there sad in her bed. "Her parents are fine with me staying there for the time being. I know she needs me."
Standing up, Stella wasn't thrilled about the news, but was none too surprised either as she wrapped her arms around her son. His first heartbreak over losing his unborn child. If this happened to her, she wouldn't be herself for some time. "That's fine. Just remember to be patient with her. She'll need it."
His chin rested on her shoulder. "I thought you'd be disappointed in me."
"We aren't. You and Helga are about to go out into the world. You are adults. I can't treat you like children." Stella honestly told him.
"It would be a different subject all together if you were both much younger and this happened." Miles added in as he placed a hand on his shoulder. "One day we know you both will be married. We aren't blind."
Pulling away, Arnold wiped a tear that appeared. He sighed. "Thanks." He had to head up those stairs to get some things together. "I should get back to her."
Nodding their heads they both watched him as he went upstairs to gather his stuff. Stella sighed as she sat back on the couch. "Hopefully next time there is a baby in their lives it will be a time they are ready for it."
Sitting beside her, Miles gathered her in his arms. "I was thinking the same thing."
Back at the Pataki's, Arnold slipped back into her bedroom where she was still passed out. Quietly he went into her closet to deposit his belongings before coming back out to lay back beside her prone form. In the dim light of the room he saw the tear stains marring her smooth cheeks. He knew they'll always remember this moment.
Her hand went up to move over his body. Helga nestled closer as her eyes lifted up to him. "I want to graduate with our friends." It was her absolute thought. "I'm not frightened if they all found out about this. I just want them to hear it only from our mouths at the same time. We've done so much together so it seems natural."
Arnold couldn't help his smile. This was his strong Helga still as she tried to remain determined in spite of a knock down.
This was obviously done because of all the reviews on them always being intimate. Yes you can have all the sex in the world and not get pregnant but it happens. Don't flame us on this chapter because I applaud her for pushing past something that is still a sensitive subject to her. She was also on birth control and she still got pregnant. She didn't get any monthlies during the whole time under the Depo provera shot so she didn't know she was pregnant until she had the pain and it happened.
Once again don't flame us on this chapter. Thank you
