Guys I am once again completely stoked at your response to this fic! I may be an amateur writer but you guys continue to leave me lost for words on how it's possible to express my thanks to everyone of you!
Bethers – All they both need is a sign...:P
Tubs – Great suggestion and as for CJ being back to square one...
Tooks – Well I hope I can keep this fic getting even better for you!
LFTD – Aww thanks for saying the last chapter was well written in regards to the women's emotions and the tension between them!
Kirsty – A feeling I could continue this saga huh? Well we'll see...it can't go on forever...right...?
Shopgirl – Yes damn that Charlie for running away! They never just stay put when feelings are getting revealed...
JSCO – Is it really time they came clean? We'll see...
Dex – All good things in time...
CJ4eva – You CJ fans sure are a loyal bunch and I am certainly working on CJ creating their future...but is it right now?
Funkyshaz – Haha that could've been a better ending with CJ jumping each other...but sadly I went with drama...again!
Laclex – Wow could you say any more compliments? JK! Completely stoked by your response that you were so engrossed by the last chapter you thought it was real! That sure is nice to hear that it was written so real like that! Accepts your pats on the back with mega thanks!
Lil – I definitely agree that Charlie taking off her ring might have been her subconscious way of finding out how Joey feels...only to be devastated that Joey couldn't react the way she wanted. All I'll say is – no matter how much it feels like it is...it'll never be 100% plain sailing for CJ in this fic...the best I'll give you is 99% plain sailing...
Choeyfan – A tease you say...?
AJ – WOW! Catching up on like 10 chapters and reviewing every single one? That is one mighty effort – your reviews made me smile! This chapter is for you for all your effort to catch up!
Kirky – Hope this is another fab chapter coming your way!
Jules – I like to leave you guys hanging...
Oniz – That seems to be the problem – will one of them have the courage to get over this 'hump' and reveal the truth?
Well I'm sure I've kept you guys waiting for this chapter long enough and in the context of this story it's one of the biggest ones yet and to say I'm nervous about it is a massive understatement – this is the chapter you guys are gonna love me for OR...
Chapter Fifty-Two
Joey breathed deeply as she paced back and forth outside Charlie's bedroom. It felt strange having to call it that. The room had been hers and Charlie's for nearly four years and they'd shared many special memories there. It crushed Joey when she realized that she hadn't stepped foot in the room for nearly a year now – since she'd returned to collect all her possessions as she moved in permanently with Aden and Nicole after announcing she and Charlie were separating.
It had been over twenty minutes since Charlie had run away from her and Joey was struggling to deal with all the emotions running through her.
Her feelings were Charlie were now well and truly resurfacing. It seemed every moment they spent together had been leading up to one of them finally daring to make a move. Joey had stunned herself by daring to be the one to make a move when she was so positive Charlie didn't return any of the feelings Joey had for her. And once Charlie had run away from her, Joey was sure that she was right. She'd waited too long to make a move on Charlie and it was clear now that Charlie was over her.
Yet she continued pacing outside the room. She felt like a fool to try and make a move on her ex-wife and now Charlie was the one in their bedroom crying softly. Joey could hear her through the bedroom door and assumed that Charlie had been embarrassed and was upset by Joey's failed attempt at rekindling their romance.
The last time Joey had kissed Charlie, they had ended up sleeping together and afterwards Joey had decided she wasn't ready to give their marriage another shot. Charlie had made threats to tell Kaitlyn about their night together and now Joey had put Charlie in a similar situation. Charlie had every right to once again tell Kaitlyn about Joey's actions if Joey couldn't tell her herself.
Joey suddenly realized how Charlie must have felt when she had informed her that she wasn't ready to rekindle their marriage a month ago. She felt shattered and heartbroken at the thought that Charlie was about to give her a similar speech as to why they can't be together again.
Joey sighed as she decided she needed to apologise to Charlie for her actions. She had been the one to make moves on her and she should have been able to control herself from turning her simple massage into something more intimate. Joey wiped a tear from her eye, as she prepared herself for Charlie's rejection, and knocked on the bedroom door.
Joey opened the door quietly a few inches. Joey's heart sunk as she found Charlie lying face down on their bed, with her face buried against the pillows, crying heavily into them. Joey swallowed deeply as she heard Charlie croak out, "Go away."
Joey frowned sadly as she ignored Charlie's request and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her, "I can't. I needed to make sure you were okay." Charlie lifted her head from the pillows and glanced her tear-filled eyes up at Joey, "I'm not. Now go away and leave me alone." Joey closed her eyes briefly, trying to squint away the tears brimming in her own eyes, "I'm sorry…I never meant to…"
Charlie threw her face back against the pillows, trying to avoid venting her frustration at being so close to revealing her true feelings. Joey turned around to leave the room but when she placed her hand on the doorknob she had second thoughts.
Turning back to the broken woman, Joey took several swift steps before awkwardly crawling onto the bed. She sat there behind Charlie who was facing the opposite direction. Joey let a tear fall from her eye as she placed her hand against Charlie's hip, "I'm sorry." Charlie reached her hand up to brush her tears out of her own eyes, continuing to avoid turning around and looking up at her ex, "You should be…you made me make a fool of myself…again."
Joey frowned softly, "Why would you think you made a fool of yourself? I'm the one who…made moves on you when you clearly didn't want me to." Charlie shook her head angrily, "You don't have to be nice to me and pretend that that's what happened out there." Joey ran her free hand through her hair, "And you don't need to be nice to me…I've done this before…breaking your heart…so just stop being so nice and…just do the same to me."
Charlie tried to shrug Joey's hand off her hip, but Joey remained firm in her grip on Charlie, then sobbed quietly, "How can I break your heart…? You don't even…love me anymore." Joey stared down at Charlie, as her words tumbled out of her mouth barely louder than a whisper, "But I do love you."
Charlie blinked through her tears as she lifted her head from the pillow and turned over to face Joey, "You…what?" Joey squeezed Charlie's hip as she repeated with a whimper, "I do…love you. I think I always have…I just got caught up on all our problems…I lost track of my feelings for you. Only now I've waited too long to tell you…and you don't feel the same way. What you said out there…when you moaned…I get it…you were lost in the memories of our past when I kissed you…then you snapped back to the reality that…you don't want to be with me."
Charlie rolled over so she was lying on her side, staring up at Joey whose hand gently rested against her hip again, "But I thought it through and the only thing that made sense to me was…you were the one that was lost in our past memories. I thought…that's all it was when you…kissed me like that. You wanted to kiss me…? You want to…be with me?"
Joey steeled herself as she sobbed honestly, "I want to be with you. This isn't just some…I've been feeling this way…for a while now. I don't just want to be with you…I want us to start over. I want us to…give this marriage another chance and…to be a family again." With tears still sliding down her cheeks, the corners of Charlie's lips crinkled into a small smile as she replied, "I want the same thing."
Joey felt her heart elate at Charlie's confession and without hesitation she leant down and gingerly pressed their lips together. Joey's eyes closed as she lost herself in the feeling of Charlie's lips against her own. Not breaking the kiss, Joey shuffled her body so she was lying next to Charlie and squeezed her hip comfortingly.
Charlie broke their kiss briefly and stared into Joey's eyes, "Is this really happening?" Joey nodded and whispered, "It really is," before bringing their lips back together. Joey could feel the tears continuing to run down both their cheeks, and it broke her heart to know that they could both feel blissfully happy and tearful all at once. The emotions running through them were powerful and Joey couldn't believe she had almost let these feelings run away from her.
Joey gently ran her tongue against Charlie's lips, seeking entrance into her mouth, which Charlie soon gave her. Joey softly entangled their tongues against each other, smiling at the shy moan that escaped Charlie's mouth. Joey began deepening their kiss, as she shifted the hand that lay on Charlie's hip. She slipped it underneath Charlie's unbuttoned shirt and began tenderly gliding it up Charlie's side.
As Joey's hand suddenly reached the edge of her bra just underneath her armpit, Charlie unexpectedly broke their kiss and pulled away. Joey's lip trembled as she removed her hand from under Charlie's shirt and rested it once again on Charlie's hip.
Charlie quivered as she stared deep into Joey's eyes, "I can't…I can't do this." Joey's heart sunk to a new level, "You don't want to be with me?" Charlie tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, "We shouldn't be doing this…you're with Kaitlyn. And I can't do that again…I can't just have another one night stand with you…that nearly destroyed me last time. Please don't shatter my heart like that…I couldn't bare it…"
Joey reached her hand up and stroked Charlie's cheek, "This is not like last time. I promise you…this is so much more than a one night stand. I love you and I want us to put our family back together. This is our second chance. I will not hurt you like last time…I will never hurt you again…I love you."
Charlie nodded, acknowledging that Joey's words had re-assured her, "I love you too. But Kaitlyn…?" Joey tentatively kissed Charlie again, as she snuggled her body closer to Charlie, "I know…and I feel bad but…I need to be with you tonight. I need you to be the one who heals my heart and puts it back together…and I can't wait any longer for that to happen. I could call her now and break up with her over the phone if you asked me too…but you know she deserves better than that. I promise you…first thing tomorrow…I'll go and tell her I'm ending things with her…'cause I need to be with you."
Charlie looked away from Joey, "This still feels like you're cheating on her." Joey leant forwards and kissed the tip of Charlie's nose, "The truth is…I've been cheating on her the whole time we've been together. My heart's never been with her…it was always with you. Even when we were at our worst…I still loved you as much as I always have. It just took been reminded of the time I nearly lost you for real…to remember how much I love you. If you're not ready…I don't want to push things between us. But I can't help but want to start over again with you tonight…so I can prove to you how much I love you. Tell me you want the same thing too."
Charlie wrapped her left arm around Joey's back as she stared back into her eyes and whispered, "I want the same thing too."
Given permission, Joey leant forwards and brushed her lips against Charlie's. Her right hand slid back under Charlie's shirt, this time gliding up her back. Joey suddenly pulled back from their kiss, "Wait…is your back still sore? Maybe we should…slow things down and wait until you're healed."
Charlie nuzzled her nose against Joey's, "The only thing I needed healing was my heart…and right now you've mended it by telling me you want to try again as a family. Although I guess my back is a little sore and while you're massage did wonders…I probably shouldn't lie directly on my back."
Joey blushed shyly, "So the way we're lying on the bed side by side against each other now…it won't hurt you if I make love to you like this?" Charlie shook her head, "No it won't hurt me if you make love to me like this…just maybe try and grip your free hand around my neck instead of my back."
Joey's cheeks turned bright red, as she nervously confirmed that Charlie wanted her to make love to her that night. Although all the signs were there that this would be a second chance at their marriage, when Charlie had brought up their previous night of passion, Joey had been unsure if Charlie was ready for them to take this step tonight.
Still wanting to make sure that Charlie was ready, Joey whispered, "Are you sure this is what you want?" "You know it is," Charlie replied confidently. Joey smiled shyly, and brought her right hand over to entangle it with Charlie's left hand, "I should have been honest earlier…I should've told you how much I can't stand the idea of you not wearing your ring."
Charlie intertwined their fingers, "It'll be back where it belongs tomorrow morning." "So will mine," Joey promised, as she disentangled her hand from Charlie's and reached towards her necklace, "In fact…I can place it back where it belongs now."
Charlie swiftly took Joey's hand again, pulling it away from her necklace, smiling at the knowledge that Joey still kept it there close to her heart, "Tomorrow…we can both do it together tomorrow…once you've broken things off with Kaitlyn…and it's real between us. We don't need our rings to prove how much we love each other tonight." "Okay," Joey agreed, "We'll just let…tonight be tonight."
Charlie smiled as she placed Joey's hand back on her hip and brought their lips together. Joey soon deepened the kiss as she ran her hand gently up Charlie's side. Charlie gripped onto Joey harder as she pulled her closer towards her. Joey slowly glided her hand up to Charlie's shoulder, then slipping her hand inside her shirt she pulled at it. Charlie lifted her upper body off the bed allowing Joey to pull her shirt off and toss it to the floor.
Charlie's hand immediately reached down to the bottom of Joey's shirt. She struggled as she tried to pull it up Joey's body, and blushed deeply as Joey began giggling at her attempts. Joey kissed her gently, "Been a while since you've tried undressing someone has it?" Charlie's cheeks reddened, "Like you didn't know that. Now are you gonna give me a hand or are you gonna miss out on your favourite part of foreplay?"
Now it was Joey's turn to blush intensely at Charlie's passionate plea, and she rapidly sat up slightly enough to pull her own shirt over her head. Lying back next to Charlie, she watched as Charlie's eyes roamed her body timidly, and reached forward to claim Charlie's lips once again.
It wasn't long before they were embraced in a passionate make out session. The heat was rising between their bodies and Joey ran her hand gently over Charlie's stomach until she reached her bra, then nervously trailed her fingers down to the edge of Charlie's pants. She was pleased when Charlie didn't pull away and instead began trailing her hands along her own body.
As they continued kissing, Joey fingers played with the button and zip of Charlie's pants. Charlie slowly broke their kiss to smile gently at Joey, and reassure her of what she wanted, "Please…I need you." Joey nodded nervously, "I need you too."
Joey stopped fiddling with Charlie's pants and boldly un-buttoned them and slipped the zip down. Joey pressed her lips against Charlie's briefly before laying a small trail of kisses down Charlie's chest and stomach as she reached down to Charlie's pants and helped Charlie struggle out of her pants. Joey then anxiously pulled her own pants down.
Throwing them both to the floor, Joey then shuffled herself back up to meet Charlie's lips in another passionate kiss. Charlie pressed her body against Joey's and slipped her leg in between Joey's legs. Joey let out a small moan at the contact and wrapped her arm around Charlie's neck.
Charlie entangled her tongue with Joey's as her hands reached down and slipped Joey's bra straps off her shoulders. Not hesitating Charlie unhooked Joey's bra and pulled it away from the younger woman's body. Charlie's gasped slightly at the sight of Joey's breasts, causing Joey to once again blush anxiously.
Charlie smiled assertively to allay Joey's nerves, and taking Joey's hands in her own she led them to her own back where Joey gradually unhooked Charlie's bra. Joey undid the garment and slipped it off Charlie's upper body.
As Joey admired Charlie's body, Charlie swiftly brought their bodies together and rubbed her leg against Joey's centre. Joey moaned softly at the contact of Charlie's leg in between her own as well as Charlie's breasts pressed against her own. Charlie smiled as she kissed Joey lightly and with her left hand she reached out and fingered Joey's necklace. She grinned as she ran her fingers over Joey's wedding ring.
Hesitating slightly Charlie stared into Joey's eyes as her fingers dropped the ring and gently grazed against Joey's right nipple. She smiled as Joey's arched her back at the contact and continued stroking Joey's breast more forcefully. Joey shuddered in excitement as Charlie bent down and took the nipple in her mouth. Joey bucked her hips against Charlie's as Charlie licked and sucked gently on Joey's breast.
After several minutes of Charlie torturing Joey slowly, Joey glided her hands to Charlie's breasts and began her own exploration of Charlie's upper body. Charlie ran her hands down to Joey's hips and held onto them tightly as she let Joey explore her breasts. Joey glanced up at Charlie and Charlie leaned forwards and captured Joey's lips.
Charlie pulled apart breathless, "Please Joey…I need you now." Joey licked her lips and nodded, "I love you so much…I can't believe I nearly gave you up." Tears crept into Charlie's eyes, "That doesn't matter anymore. We're together…and that's all that matters now." Joey reached her hand up and wiped Charlie's tears from her cheek, "Am I dreaming all this?" "It's possible," Charlie smirked, before reclaiming Joey's lips.
Joey squirmed under Charlie's embrace, her body quivering at the feelings running through her. Charlie shifted her hand from Joey's hip to the edge of her panties. Joey's eyes burned into hers as Charlie inched her fingers along the elastic. Joey moaned softly as she nodded at Charlie.
Charlie took Joey's acceptance and with Joey's help she slid Joey's panties down her legs. Joey blushed slightly but as Joey slid her body back up against Charlie's, she found that Charlie was already lifting her hips off the bed so Joey could slide her own panties off. Joey did so quietly and swiftly.
Joey paused for a few seconds before shifting back up the bed. Joey nervously placed her hand on Charlie's hip as the two women stared at one another's naked body. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Joey leant forwards and crashed her lips against Charlie's. Charlie gave into the kiss and embraced her tenderly as she matched Joey's action and placed her hand on Joey's hip, before slipping her other arm around Joey's neck.
Charlie nuzzled her lips against Joey's jaw line and neck, eliciting a sly moan escaping Joey's lips. As Charlie kissed back up Joey's face and reclaimed her lips, Joey started shaking anxiously at their embrace. Charlie kissed her firmly, before settling their foreheads against each other.
Joey stared into Charlie's eyes and she could see the desire etched in them. Charlie nodded her head softly, then squeezing Joey's hip she whispered, "I love you so much. I need you." Joey found herself tightening her grip on Charlie's hip as she replied, "I love you too…I always have. I want to be with you so badly." Charlie leant forwards and kissed Joey softly, before asking her quietly, "Together?" Joey nodded in agreement, "Together."
Understanding each other completely, both women glided their own hands from the other woman's hips to rest in between her legs. Joey let out a soft groan as Charlie's hand came in contact with her fire, while Charlie closed her eyes at the feel of Joey's hand in between her legs.
Charlie's eyes fluttered open as she felt Joey's fingers glide against the edges of her folds, while she placed her thumb against Joey's slit. Joey licked her lips as she burned her eyes into Charlie's as if begging Charlie not to torture her, and she smiled gently as Charlie's look of desire matched hers.
Joey softly slipped two fingers into Charlie's waiting wetness, while Charlie also entered Joey. Both women bucked their hips at the contact and groaned in desperation. Joey threw her head backwards, then leant it against the crook of Charlie's neck.
Charlie swiftly began stroking her fingers in and out of Joey at a rapid pace, while Joey matched her actions. Joey quickly found Charlie's clit and stroked it, enjoying the sensations she was providing Charlie with. Joey raised her head from Charlie's neck and pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss.
The women continued pleasuring one another the way each of them needed and it didn't take long for the heat to rise in their bodies as the contact of them making love to each other was driving them wild.
Joey took a sharp intake of breath as she felt she was so close to the edge and needed Charlie to tip her over the edge into orgasmic bliss. Bucking her hips against Charlie's hand, she whispered huskily, "Please Charlie…I need you to…oh yes that's it…oh Charlie! Arghhhh!"
*THUMP!*
Joey's eyes shot open and she took a sharp intake of breath as her heart began beating loudly in her chest. She clasped her hand to her chest and then stroked the back of her hand to her forehead, wiping away the sweat that had formed there.
Joey sighed heavily as she stared around her before throwing her head back frustrated.
The only thoughts that came to mind: Oh God no…please no…it can't just be…
Squinting her eyes shut for a moment, she finally opened them again as she stared up at the ceiling. The living room ceiling.
As the reality set in, Joey's eyes then settled on the couch – the one she had fallen asleep on after she had nearly cried herself to sleep when Charlie had run off on her…the one she had fallen off of during the middle of her…
Joey winced back tears as she laid back onto the ground next to the couch. Her mind was racing as fast as her heart was beating and she hated the realization that had struck her so harshly:
I didn't go running after Charlie when she left me alone on the couch…Charlie and I didn't confess our need to put our family back together…we didn't spend a loving and tender moment together this evening…we're not back together…it was nothing more than a dream.
A dream that stung Joey so deeply it hurt to think about it…everything she thought she'd regained was shattered the moment her eyes had snapped open.
But could it be a dream that proved to Joey that she knew her deep down hearts' desire…and gave her the courage to seek out her heart's desire...?
Okay...so do you remember at the start I said you'd love me for this chapter OR...you'll hate me with a fiery passion is what I should've finished with...
And oh boy am I nervous for the hatred that's about to be set upon me for once more giving you a twist that I know you'll want to yell at me for...
Yes that's right – instead of finally getting CJ back together like you are all dying for, all we have is Joey having a dream about it...
And I absolutely suck for being so evil – I know!
Okay to explain – the 'Joey having a sex dream about Charlie' has been in the plans for this fic pretty much since the beginning – way before I knew how devoted you guys would be about this fic!
It was part of the way I envisioned for Joey to get to the place she needs to be – to trust 100% that she loves Charlie and there's no way she can keep denying it. We all know our subconscious reveals everything we may not want to admit...
And Joey has got to get to this place so the next few chapters also fall into place. Believe me I tried finding other ways around it because I knew this would be a controversial chapter but the only creative thing I could do to get Joey to where she needs to be as a character is to give her exactly what she knows deep down she needs – Charlie...in case that wasn't obvious... – and then tear it away from her so she can start fighting to get it back!
I have said it before that I've had pretty much every idea of this fic already planned out to the point I know exactly how I want the fic to play out and this was one of the original ideas before I had any idea the response and support this fic would have.
The idea of this chapter was never to play with your emotions as readers – although I'm sure I have...I'M SORRY! – but to bring out the emotions I need from Joey that will see her make some big decisions in the next few chapters.
And if you don't completely hate me and are prepared to keep reading this fic – I promise you...we are only chapters away from the reunion we all want!
A few things need to fall into place first and I need to resolve a few things – mainly the Joey/Kaitlyn relationship.
I know you will all be disappointed by the end of this chapter to find out CJ aren't together and even though in Joey's dream they both decided they could be together regardless of Joey being in a relationship with Kaitlyn but I won't allow CJ to re-build their marriage based on a lie. It has to be done right.
So...next time: How does Joey react to the knowledge that everything she thought she'd regained...was lost in an instant?
And though I'm sure you are all gonna SLAUGHTER me in your reviews for being the cruellest person alive...be nice...pretty please...don't make me too scared to face posting another chapter of your favourite...ahem maybe worst...fic
And one last time – I'M SORRY!
