Author's Note:

Hello everyone,

If you've read up to now, thank you. You know I don't do this often. I wanted to apologize for the short hiatus' that plagued this story for the past months, and for this short chapter. Life has not been kind. Despite this, regular updates should continue soon. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to review and criticize this story, and I read every one. I also appreciate the small amount of you who tried contacting me about this story. Again, sorry about the lack of updates. Hopefully I have not broken your flow!

Sincerely yours,

Arrek


I woke up in a haze, looking at the back of some chick. God, I hope this isn't a dream. Too many times have I been fooled by this dream, thinking I was back where I belonged. Though, with what I had seen, would I truly belong anymore?

Whatever. Chick next to me. If I move, she'll probably wake up. Eh. I risked it, moving my arm away. Surprisingly, it had no effect. Ah, so this was a dream. Awesome. Knowing it to be a dream, I decided to move my hand back, instead opting to have a little fun. I mean, this dream doesn't come around every night, and it's the closest I'm getting, right?

So I maneuvered my hand down to the stomach of the chick. Hourglass figure, I think. Nice. Tzeentch has really done me a solid with this one. Usually they turn out to be really ugly or grotesque.

Suddenly I felt something on top of my hand. Damnit, it's a daemon, isn't it. "I see you're awake," I heard her say.

"Yep. Just making sure of a few things," I whispered. Please don't be a daemon. Then the chick turned around, letting me see her face.

Oh. Oh no. It was May. "Like what?"

I looked around, seeing the familiar room. This is the cruelest joke yet. "Noooothing…"

Please, please, please be a daemon. "I don't know why you'd need to check a few things with your hands. You've already done so with your eyes."

SHE KNEW. ABORT MISSION.

I jumped right out of bed, grabbing my coat on the way out. I opened the door and there was no sign of this being a dream anymore.

I Usain Bolted my way right out of dodge. There was no way I'd recover from this one.


So following the next few hours was the greatest game of hide and seek. I had the entire ship to hide in, and she only had a few places to seek.

So naturally, I hid in plain sight. I grabbed a suit of guard armor for the ship crew, looking like any other guy, except there was no helmet available. You wanna know probably why?

Those fucking thieves.

My plan was to hide in the lunchroom, sitting among groups of guardsmen like a champ of this hide and seek game. Whatcha even playin' fo', I own this game!

Unfortunately, I saw the blue armored, white headed villain enter the room. She walked my direction, looking away. Too easy.

I played it cool, letting the guardsmen talk about that one time they saw the captain. Everything was going as planned.

I heard a voice behind me. "Oh, Joker. I must ask, why did-"

And I was gone. "Joker!" I heard her scream behind me. How did she know it was me from the back? I kept my pace, trying my hardest to outrun her. I juked around people and tables, becoming quite the spectacle. I looked back.

I paled when I saw she was gaining rapidly. I jumped out of the room barrelling around the corner. I was gonna lose her in the halls. I then remembered this was a really long hallway. Long and empty.

I heard her close behind me. I'd trick her out if I turned around. So, I stopped as suddenly as I could and turned my body,ready to go in the opposite direction.

Only to catch a faceful of flying, angry, armored eldar foot. I fell like a rock. I didn't deserve that one at all.

"You deserved that one, and I told you I would." Can she read my thoughts now?!

"Why?" I cried out. Wait, no, not cried. Called out. Yep, I don't cry. Ever.

She gasped, "That's just what I was going to ask you!" Did she just use sarcasm on me? "So why did you run away like that?"

"It's family tradition," I lied.

"Right. Real reason."

"I don't want you to kill me."

"Real reason," she repeated.

"That is!" I whined. I mean, I confirmed. Yes. Confirmed.

"Joker, if that really is the reason, I am honestly surprised you could be that stupid." Ouch. "Even for a human." Double ouch. "And I've been to your 'feral worlds', as they're called." Triple ouch. C-c-c-combo breaker.

"Ouch."

"I'm just telling you the truth."

"The truth hurts."

"That is the big point a lot of people will try to make, yes," she sassed. "Look, Joker, I would not kill you simply because you touched my midsection." I'm safe from- "But I will be hurting you later." Nevermind.

Later being when we got to the room, where she found it funny to punch me randomly and then act like nothing happened. Sadistic eldar, finding it fun to abuse us. I can see why people don't like them.

I got punched in the arm in the middle of stretching, and I fumed at her, "Why do you keep doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"I only did it because I thought it was a dream!" Her signature smile let me know that I dun goofed.

"Oh? So I'm in your dreams? And you try that kind of-"

"No! Lord no, no, no!" I pointed at her face, like she were a dog. Act like a bitch, get treated like one, right? "No."

My resistance only made her stronger, though. "I'll remember that."

What are you, The Walking Dead game? That stuff is like two years old, May, get a better game.

"Don't do that."

"I do as I desire."

"I have a gun."

"You wouldn't kill your partner." I got an idea.

"No, May, I would not kill you simply because you sassed my midsection," I responded snootily.

"Are… Are you holding a grudge?"

"But I will be hurting you later."

"You are actually holding a grudge." That I am.


We stopped at a large dustball of a planet. We were supposedly going to stay there for a month, though Korak let me know it will most likely be more than two months since we had to repair our damaged ship.

May and I went down to the surface. She thought it'd be fun to mess around with the sand because she's rarely even seen sand. How can you not have seen sand in your life? What, did you live on a space ship or-

With my question answered, I continued through the streets of the city with May, getting a ton of distasteful looks. She was given a seal that apparently signified that she was a sanctioned xeno. Didn't stop people from spitting at her. I personally understood and did nothing to stop it.

"Could you try to talk some sense into these mon'keigh?" she irritably asked me.

"Remember when I said later?"

"You are insufferable. Should the chance to grab revenge come my way, I will make it cold and fast." Now she's back to this way of talking.

"Yeah, yeah, higher than thou speak. I get it, you're an eldar."

Her head turned towards me, then she barked a laugh. "Fuck you."

"You wish," is what I said. I didn't get a response. It was an uneventful walk after that.

That is until we got out into the desert. You see, we had a fortunate run in with a dude who was selling camel… Things. It was like a horse thing, but also like a camel. I just don't know, it functioned like a camel. I bought it because I thought it looked cool, and I had cash in my account. Oh, did I mention I had an account? It was directly linked to Korak's, which is HUGE. Regardless, I have a camel horse now.

So we was rolling on that camel horse. Everything was going great, we could see the city and everything no matter where we went. However, there was a problem.

That problem was that May had wandered off to go look at a view of the city from the top of a sand dune. She took the horse camel, so I was stuck at the bottom. Why didn't I go with her? Didn't feel like it, and it was really uncomfortable on that camel horse.

When she was almost at the top, I heard something besides the winds behind me. I looked around, and saw some black thing coming straight for my face and OH MY GOD, IT'S A-