Chapter 22
My first thought was to turn around and go back to the cabin, to run away, to not be this close to the man with the demon blade. But the pull in my veins to step closer outweighed everything that my mind was telling me to do and I felt myself move forward, not like I was stepping with my own feet but just levitating and moving closer to the car.
I could see Sam's Charger still parked behind her, both of them silent and waiting to be driven, but it was the voices in the room that attracted me and when the movement stopped, I was standing with my back to the wall, the window just to my right. I closed my eyes at the smells that came from the room, the scent of a woman's body wash, the steam that had just left the bathroom as if the door had just opened, a man's cologne and under that, everything that made him Dean.
I shook off the feeling of wanting to open the door, wanting to run my fingers down his cheek, over his hand, and I raised my own to press my fingers against the stitches in my arm, the pain instantly bringing me back to reality and away from the world of Dean and Danni, and what surrounded them.
I could hear her voice in my head, not so much out loud, but more like a whisper, and I inched just a bit closer to see if I really was hearing what I thought I was. Latin words carried through thought-waves. It was the reason for the pull, and the little bit of pain just at the edge of it. Danni was chanting a spell and I shook my head. Less adept at Latin pronunciation that I was, which Sam still swore I needed to work on, Danni fumbled with a few words and I found myself smiling because I knew just what she was doing.
A binding spell.
"What the hell, Danni," Dean snapped and I cringed at the bite in his voice, but also my heart raced. Why the hell did I respond to him that way? "What are you doing?" I heard the book rustle, as if he had removed it forcefully from her hands and I could smell the way the smoke plumbed from the candle that he put out. "Magic? You're playing with magic? We don't know what these powers are doing to you now, let alone adding in some magic binding spell to keep them from ramping up."
"It wasn't for me," she answered back and I could feel the tension in the room from where I stood. "it was for Ali."
"Ali?" He huffed. "Perfect!" The book slammed down on the table. "She goes on a killing spree," (three demons, Dean, it was three demons), "and your answer is a binding spell? To do what, keep her from going dark side." I wished I could look in just to see their faces, but it was all in the tone of his voice. "I'm sorry to say I think that ship has sailed. You didn't see her eyes, Dan, there's no going back from where she is."
"I'm not going to believe that," Danni answered and the book opened once again, I could hear the way she roughly turned the page. "We're bound by this… whatever this AO3 thing is, I can feel her, there is still some of Ali left in her, still something to be saved."
"You didn't…" the frustration in his voice escalated and he let out a sigh. "Look, I know you're not going to believe me, Danni, and that's fine, but this is what we do, we hunt monsters, and it she's becoming one…"
"Then it's because of a spell, Dean, because of a freaking prophecy that is affecting me too." Now my morbid curiosity was peaked and I pulled the blanket tighter as I crossed my arms. How was it changing her? "Every minute, I can feel the build-up, like this energy just needs to escape me, and it scares the hell out of me because what if it's like hers? What if it's dangerous?"
"I haven't seen anything dangerous from you." He acknowledged and the pages stopped flipping. "Your eyes haven't changed, your power hasn't surged and you certainly haven't gone around ganking any monsters while teleporting miles away from where you're supposed to be. She has!"
"I found something," she stated and I heard his boots even on the carpeted floor move closer to her. "The book actually talks about the blades, and the powers that we have."
"Right," Dean sighed in disbelief, "because in all the hours we've been researching this, the answers would be in a book of magic."
"The last place you'd look as always," she replied. "According to the book, the darkness will envelope the one that holds it, going right down to the soul if necessary to bind with that person, to make them the ultimate weapon."
"Yeah, I think we're seeing that already."
"Actually, we're not."
"She stuck a blade in my father's heart, how much more Sith does she have to go to convince you?" Dean's anger was rising.
"Her soul is still there, Dean," Danni reassured him, "I can feel it."
"How? How can you feel a soul?"
"The light will be stronger still, filled with the secrets of the angels, a beacon in the night for the carrier. The light will find the source that devours it, but unless they stand together, it will win." She answered by reading from the text. "Now my Latin is sketchy at best but does that sound like she's going to pull a Norman Bates and kill you in the shower?"
"I'm not putting anything past her, not right now." He sighed and while standing there, I realized that every answer he gave put a little more of a smile on my face. Yes, the anger, the hatred, that was what I wanted from him and I could feel the warmth growing around me, the air thickening. Did he realize the power he had? Did he know that everything he felt was almost like a trigger, setting off whatever was inside me? While Danni finally knew her place in this whole warped game of chess, Dean was still unsure of his. "I'm going out for a smoke, I need a minute."
Thanks for the warning, Dean. I grinned and silently made my way towards the edge of the building, disappearing around the corner. I listened to him step out towards the car, listened to the Zippo flick open and the flint strike. I could smell the scent of his cigarette and listened to the way he exhaled, and I closed my eyes, placing my head back against the wall.
A moment past, the sound of him taking it in, and breathing it out filled me, and I felt the beat of my heart slow as I concentrated on that sound, let it fill me, until the scent of him was too close and I could feel the cold metal edge of a blade against the skin of my throat.
"Do it," I whispered, keeping my eyes closed as I suddenly felt the heat of his body. He was pressing against me, keeping me locked to the wall, my arms crossed under his weight and the security of the blanket. I wasn't a threat to him, but when I opened my eyes, I could almost see the light in him, the way his blood flowed and I blinked it away as fast as I could, and then repeated my words. "Do it."
"Do you really have that much of a death wish?" He questioned and I felt his resolve falter, my heart dropped, and I licked the dryness of my lips, breathing in deeply to take him in. "What are you doing here?"
"I was called here," I whispered and my eyes flashed towards the corner of the building. "Her binding spell, her thoughts, they called out to me. Your heart… its beat, I can hear it in my head."
"And the demons?" His teeth clenched as he shifted his weight.
"I'm not sure how that happened," I admitted but I leaned forward towards the blade, feeling the pinch of the steel, and couldn't stop the quiet moan that escaped me. Damn the pain, and my hand found the stitches under the blanket. "Do it, Dean, you know you want to."
"I'm not going to kill you," he whispered, and his free hand, the one that had been touching the wall down near my hip moved up to brace against the wall near my head. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes and I moved my body, pushing it away from the wall, closer to his, needing the contact.
"That's a loaded crock of bull!" I growled and felt the blade move. I closed my eyes as I watched him slip it in the belt behind his back and shook my head. "Dean." It was only a whisper, a plea for help but I could hear his heart pick up, the beat strong, steady but faster. "Just end it, I can't do this anymore. I've hurt you, and Danni, I'm pretty sure at some point I'm going to hurt Sam."
"Where is Sam?" Always the protective older brother, but his movement brought him closer to me. "What did you do to him?"
"I left him in bed if I remember correctly," I felt the grin curl up on my lips at the thought of Sam's teeth against my neck and I tilted my head to feel the pull against the bruise. His hand came up, the one that had stowed the blade and he pulled the collar of my shirt down, his warm fingers brushing my skin as he curled them around the fabric.
"Dammit, Sammy!" He growled under his breath and released the shirt, but his hand lingered, slowly, debating on whether to move and suddenly the pads of his fingers traced my jaw. "You need to leave."
"Gladly, except for one small problem," I shrugged as I leaned into that touch. Dammit all, why did I need this, what the hell was the sensation that he was pulling at and why Dean, why someone connected so close to Danni?
"And that is?" My eyes came up to meet his, locking blue to green.
"YOU have me pressed against a wall, you're blocking my way out." I said in a smartass voice and watched as he gave a little sarcastic shake of his head before moving his body back, but the hands never moved, not the one against the wall, not the ones that rested on the curve of my neck. "By the end of this, you're not going to hesitate with that blade."
His eyes came up as he pushed back so that his elbow locked, giving me just enough space to duck under if I wanted to, but I wasn't ready to break that connection yet.
"What makes you so sure?" He sighed and his fingers danced against the thump of my jugular, like they were keeping time.
"Because if you don't hate me for John's death now," I watched his eyes fill with darkness, and I knew that he felt something for me, something like rage at the mention of his name, "you will before this is over."
He swallowed, moved his fingers and pushed his body far enough away that there would be no contact as I walked by him, but I wasn't going to make it that easy for him. However, I had forgotten about the injury and when my arm brushed his, I winced, made a small noise, probably nothing more than a quick intake, but that was all that he needed.
His hand was on my arm, gripping my lower one though the towel and he turned me. With a roughness that sent heat through every part of me, his eyes locked on mine as he tugged down the blanket and his fingers seared into my skin, bringing the stitches into the light. He inspected the wound, the way that it still bled just a little and I saw the anger on his face as he gave me a little shake and dropped my arm.
"Angel blade from the alley," I whispered, answering his unspoken questioned, "so yes, your blade will make sure I don't come back to haunt you."
"Ali!" The sound of my name on his lips sent chills up me as I started to move away, not stopping as he stood there and, if I only could imagine, clenched his fists in anger.
"Tell Danni not to do anymore spells," I replied without looking back as I stopped at the tree line, "they hurt."
And with that I stepped through the thick brush, pushed aside the branches and found myself looking up at the cabin once more, this time it wasn't just Cas standing on the porch, but Sam as well, his movements telling me that he was just this side of annoyed and pissed off, but as I moved closer, I watched his brow relax.
"Where did you go?" He questioned, looking at the way the blanket hung from my arm.
"The motel," I shrugged answering honestly and I heard the shrill ring of Sam's cell from where we stood. "That would be your brother," I whispered and placed my hand on his stomach as he looked down. "Looks like you need a shorter leash."
Sam rolled his eyes, following me into the building as I made my way towards the table and sat down. He watched me with some curiosity, but as he picked up the phone and put it to his ear, his lips tightened and he looked away.
"Yeah?" He questioned and shook his head, "yeah, Dean, I got her," he paused for a moment and gave a little sigh, "yeah, when I'm ready to bring her back!" He shifted his weight in anger and rolled his eyes, coming to rest locked in my own. "Listen, Dean, know what I'm doing, and yeah, I got her, and I know about the cut, I stitched it up, so get off my back." I wanted to smile, but I watched as Cas walked into the room, glanced at the back of Sam's head as the taller man put hand on his hip, and then walked over to me. "Fine, just keep doing what you're doing. Yeah… whatever!"
Sam pressed the end icon and raised the phone up as if he were about to throw it, but slowly set it down on the table. Cas crouched beside me, his fingers going up to the blanket as he moved it from my arm, and I watched the two men exchange glances.
"Sam and I were talking," Cas started and I raised a brow in his direction, "if this were a Nephilim situation, then my powers should be able to heal this."
"Yeah, you would think that mine would have taken care of it too, but it didn't," I replied and watched the blue eyes of the angel come up to lock on mine. "Fine, do what you got to."
Cas reached out, placed his palm against my arm and pressed down on the wound. Just the touch seemed to set me off because of the pain but I could feel the heat start to rise up as his hand began to glow. My eyes flickered, the heat turned to a searing feeling, as if the skin was being burnt from my muscles and I clenched my teeth. The smoky red vision swirled around Sam as it got more intense and suddenly it felt as if I were about to go up in flames.
"Cas! Stop!" I begged though my teeth as my fingers dug into the arms of the hair, but Cas had his eyes closed, concentrating on the wound, searching inside to repair the damage, but the burning was spreading, rising up my arm and into my neck. Just as it touched the nerves in my spine, it sent me through the roof. "STOP!"
With that one word, I felt my power gather and suddenly Cas was sliding across the floor as if he had been pushed by an invisible force. I lowered my head, beads of sweat pearling on every exposed surface as I looked at him through my hair. His face was filled with shock and I did my best to find a way to control my breathing, or more the panting sound, that escaped my lungs.
I rolled my eyes back behind my lids as I sat back in the chair and felt the blood seep down my arm. It hadn't touched it at all. Once everything in me was settled, I managed to open my eyes and look over at the angel, who was now sitting up a bit more, staring at me as if I were something he had never seen before.
"I'm sorry, Cas," I managed to get out in a weak voice and he nodded, accepting my apology and I looked up at Sam, who took in a deep breath before stalking over to me. He crouched down where Cas had been, took my arm gently and inspected the stitches. Nothing the angel had done had improved the cut, and all of the energy he had spent on me, I had pushed back when my own power surged. "Let's go back."
"What?" Sam questioned, his gaze coming up to mine. "Why would you want to do that?"
"What good is it doing being here if I can still teleport or whatever and kick Cas in the chest with a thought?" I let out a small sigh. "Look, it was a good idea, thinking that John had put something up to keep these powers contained, but what if the dampening spells were just there to keep Cas from finding out the blades were here, to keep the vibrations from attracting… us?"
"Ali, you don't know what's going to happen if you go back there," Sam whispered, and I watched the concern cross his face, but I reached out and traced his jaw with my fingertips.
"No, sweetheart, I know exactly what will happen," I shrugged, "whatever is meant to be, it's going to come about whether I'm sitting in some dusty old cabin, or a rat-hole motel." I sat forward and kissed him softly on the forehead, before he tilted his head up to accept my kiss. I stopped, a breath away from contact and closed my eyes. "No matter what happens, Sam, I will never stop loving you."
"I know," he sighed softly and closed the distance, our lips connecting for just a moment, like two puzzle pieces slotting together.
Sam sat back and watched as I pushed myself up from the chair, glancing over in Castiel's direction. When Sam rose, he too looked at the angel, but offered him a hand to pull him up. Cas accepted and with Sam's help was upright in not time.
That was when I notice the blade on the table, scooped it up and headed for the bathroom. Closing the door lightly behind me, I turned on the sink and stood in front of the mirror. The blade seemed to vibrate in my hand and as I held the handle tightly, I watched the way the steel seemed to shimmer in the light. Down one side were the Latin words for "Protector of Good, Destroyer of Evil," and on the other, "God Killers" blued out so that the metal looked stained, but down by the guard, under the pad of my thumb was the AO3 symbol that we still hadn't cracked the meaning for.
My breath caught as I reached for the sharp edge of the blade. I laid my fingers down on it and pressed, feeling the nip of the cut, but I pressed down further, digging into my own flesh as I slid it from guard to tip. It should have stung, it should have bled, but it didn't do either, in fact it felt as if I had run it on a dull edge. I expected something as tiny as a papercut, but instead, as I lifted my fingers to inspect them, I saw untouched skin.
Oh, this could be a very bad thing. I opened my palm, placed the sharp edge along my skin, took a deep breath and ripped the blade down and away. I closed my eyes, expecting the pain and the blood as I did this but when I opened them, there was nothing, not even the tiniest scratch, but my only thought was "huh", and I hated Sam at that moment.
Maybe I didn't do it right? Maybe I misjudged the angle of the blade, so this time, with eyes wide open, I slid it across my skin, purposely going hard and deep but still it came up unscathed.
"Well, holy hell!" I stated aloud, pretty shocked, and I flung the bathroom door open. Sam and Cas stood by the couch, both looking at me very confused as I walked towards them, blade in hand I could see the worry creep up on Sam's face. "Watch this!"
I placed the blade against the meaty side of my arm and ran it across.
"No!" Sam screamed as he stepped forward, catching my wrist, but his concern was replaced by shock as he looked at the unmarked skin. "What the hell, Ali?"
"I know, right?" I grinned and looked past him to Castiel. "I figured it out, you know why it says that only the chosen ones can wield them." Cas walked over, stepping up beside Sam and looked down as I smiled. "Want me to do it again?"
"Don't," Sam sighed, not able to deal with seeing that again, and he raised his hand to push the blade down towards the table. "Please, don't. We saw it, Ali, no need for a heart attack repeat." His gaze turned to Cas, who was still inspecting my skin. "What do you think, Cas, could that be what it meant?"
"It certainly seems that way, there isn't a hair out of place from where the blade moved." Cas looked into my eyes as he pondered something, and I say ponder only in Castiel's case because it's just that kind of look he gets. "However, if the blades are meant to be used by the chosen ones, and not on them, do they have other properties?"
"I've been wondering that myself," I spoke up just as giddy as I could get and I raised the blade, watching the stress form on Sam's face, as he moved, just a little dance that told me he would be on me in an instant if I decided that cutting myself was the best way out.
I held up a finger, hoping to hold him off, as I purposely showed him that I flipped it so the flat end was going towards my skin, symbols and Latin clearly visible. With a deep breath, I placed it over the wound, pressed down as hard as I could without causing too much pain and prayed that I didn't black out. I waited, probably longer than I should have, for something to happen, but disappointed, I opened my eyes and glanced back and forth between Sam and Cas.
"Okay, so maybe I was wr…" just as I was about to finish my sentence, a shooting pain flashed under the blade, something so intense that I fell straight to my knees but I couldn't move the blade from my skin.
Sam's hands were on my shoulders as I tried to breathe through clenched teeth, letting my head drop back, the man in front of me holding me up. It was as if everything inside the wound was knitting itself shut, like the stitches that Sam had put in were a thousand times smaller but that many times more and Cas' fingers slipped below the palm of my free hand, letting me grasp onto him as he moved down beside me. Finally, my fingers uncurled from the hilt, letting the blade drop to the floor between us, and I brought my head forward, leaning the top of it against Sam's chest.
"Son of a bitch!" I snapped as I tried to catch my breath.
I felt Sam's arm come up from my shoulder, his hand pressing against the back of my head as the other moved over my arm. There was no pain. WAIT! There was no anything, and I turned my head just a little to see what the boys were looking at as Cas' fingers joined Sam's against my skin.
"It's gone," Cas whispered.
"Gone? What do you mean gone?" I said as I pushed back, getting hit with a wave of dizziness that sent my hand searching for the man in front of me, but when my haze cleared I was able to look down at the untouched skin where the gash had been before. The only evidence there was any wound at all was the small pieces of thread that stuck out from where the stitches were. "Okay, that's new."
"So, not only will the blades not hurt you, they'll heal you too," Sam's fingers tugged at the stitch, pulling it free and I giggled at the tickle from it.
"Well, that's an interesting turn of events," Cas answered and I looked up at both of them.
"Can we go now?" I questioned as I caught each of their eyes. Cas met Sam's gaze and the two of them exchanged some sort of nonverbal communication before Sam took my hand and helped me to my feet, letting me snatch the blade up before I was fully upright.
"Cas, maybe you should take me back first, so I can let them know we're coming," Sam sighed and curiosity captured me.
"You have a phone, text him." I replied and Sam shook his head.
"Do you really think that's a good idea, this is Dean we're talking about." He did have a point and I released my hold as Cas placed a hand on his shoulder and the two of them popped out of the room.
With a sigh, I looked around the cabin, at everything that was packed into the one little bag that Cas had brought my clothes in, Sam had burned my other pair, and I slipped the knife into the waist of the sweats I was wearing, hoping it would stay up, as the nerves began to grow.
How was I going to be that be that close to Dean, how was I going to work around Danni? Why did I agree to go back?
Just as I was about to change my mind, to take off running, Cas popped back in the room and extended a hand. I closed my eyes as I slipped mine into his palm and listened to the sound of wings.
