Title: Moving On

Author: Raven Shadowrose

Rating: M

Pairing:?/?

Summary: Dixie has been left broken hearted by Cyd's departure from the Holby team, what happens when Cyd is replaced by Hannah Darbyshire and Dixie takes a liking to her. Will she end up with even more of a broken heart or will she find the happiness that she has been searching for?

Disclaimer: I do not know or own any of the characters from Casualty, all original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for anyone else to use this story.

Author's Note: This story will contain will contain some femslash, if you do not wish to read it then by all means back away slowly the way you came, other than that enjoy the story and reviews are appreciated :)

Thank you to chan. nelson444, olivia. c. king1 and beethovenRIP for your reviews. There are only a few more chapters after this one... Enjoy :)


Chapter Fifty-Five... Jeffrey Collier.

We had finished our shift and we all had a couple of days off to spend as we wished. I was waiting for everyone to finish getting ready so that we could go to the pub and have a drink. I am looking forward to the weekend, I am going to Hannah and Dixie's with Polly for dinner on Sunday. Dixie kept her promise that I would always be invited to come and see her whenever I wanted to. I always knew that she would, Dixie is my best friend, I trust her with my life and we are there for each other when we need it. She was there for me when I got divorced and when Lucy took the kids to London, I needed her then, I missed them so much and I wondered every day if they were all right and doing okay. I might have stopped loving Lucy but I never stopped loving my children. I was determined to fight for them until I realised that with my job it wasn't practical. I let them go because I had to, they wouldn't have had a stable life with me working shifts all of the time. My job is dangerous and I had to think about what would happen to them if something happened to me. I let them go because I love them so much, as much as I hate to admit it, their life had a better chance of being stable if they went to live with their mother. It took me a long time to admit that to myself, for a long time I always wondered if I had made the right decision. Dixie helped me to see that I had done the best for Sophia and John that I could do.

Dixie needed me when Cyd left, she was devastated, all I could do was be there for her and hold her when she needed me to. I felt guilty, I had encouraged Dixie to tell Cyd how she was feeling and it had gone wrong, I should have stayed quiet and not told her to say anything to Cyd. Dixie wasn't herself for weeks, she was quiet and serious for quite some time after Cyd had gone. I tried my best to cheer her up, Polly helped the best she could but Dixie needed to go through the grief that she was experiencing. I made sure that Dixie knew that I was there for her if she wanted to talk. I saw brief glimpses of the old Dixie every so often, she began to appear more often and it made me happy to see her becoming herself again as the days went by. I was mad at Cyd for hurting Dixie as much as she had, but, most of all I was mad at myself for suggesting that she tell her in the first place. I should have known that it wouldn't have gone well.

We weren't always like that close, I remember the first shift that I worked with Dixie, I turned up late and proceeded to wind Dixie up a lot throughout the day. I thought she was going to swing for me after a few hours. When I think of how close we are now, that first day seems like a very distant memory. I don't think that I was the best person to work with back then, making the comments that I did about Dixie and wanting to see proof that she was a lesbian wasn't my best decision. I remember when Dixie found out that I was in a bed and breakfast and she asked me to move in with her. I needed Dixie at that time, Lucy had kicked me out and wouldn't let me back in the house. She had always let me back in the past but this time was different. We had been arguing more and it was becoming unbearable, I didn't want the kids to live like that. It was best for them that we divorced. It hurt that I was losing my marriage and my kids but I wanted them to live a life without arguments and fighting. Lucy wasn't making me happy and I know that I wasn't making her happy, it was best all around if we ended it.

The day that Hannah arrived in Holby, I saw the look on Dixie's face, she'd instantly found Hannah attractive, I knew it, I could see it in her eyes, she's never been able to hide anything from me or those that know how to look. It worried me that Dixie might get her heart broken again, she fell quickly for Hannah, I hadn't seen Dixie so attracted to someone as I did with Hannah. It had taken a lot longer for Dixie to fall for Cyd. I wondered if Dixie falling for Hannah was some sort of rebound, that she might be falling for Hannah as a replacement for Cyd. I hoped that the past wouldn't repeat itself, I didn't want to see Dixie so hurt and upset again as she had been a few weeks ago. I got to know Hannah and I saw what a nice person she is and what a good heart she has, she fitted in well with us and quickly became friends with Polly. I was more hesitant about advising Dixie to tell Hannah anything this time, I didn't want either of them to get hurt. I noticed that Hannah always made time for Dixie and talked to her whenever Dixie wanted to talk. Finding out that Hannah was bisexual surprised me, I began to watch her closely and I saw that Hannah seemed to have an attraction to Dixie. I hoped that the feelings they shared for each other would come out in time and that Hannah would make Dixie happy. Dixie needed happiness, she had gone through so much pain in her life that, just once, I hoped something would go right for her. I was so happy and relieved when Dixie and Hannah told us that that they were together.

Hannah came out of the changing room and she sat by me. 'Hey Jeff, you look lost in thought.'

'Oh, Hannah, hello, sorry, I was just thinking.'

'What's on your mind?'

'A lot of things.'

'Like what?'

'I just want to say thank you.'

'For what?'

'For coming here and making Dixie happy.'

'You're welcome.'

'I mean it, you gave her love and purpose in her life. I am so pleased that Dixie has someone like you, someone that genuine loves her and isn't using her when it suits them.'

'I know what you mean by that. You mean Lena, don't you?'

'I do, she would show up whenever she couldn't find anyone else to warm her bed and Dixie would go running. I hated it, Dixie deserves more than someone who just wants her until someone better comes along. That is why I am glad that Dixie has you Hannah. I know that you love her and you really care for her.'

'I do, I always will care for her. Dixie is special, I've always thought that from the minute that I met her. I hope that puts your mind at rest Jeff.'

'Am I that obvious?'

'I tell you what is obvious to me, you love Dixie and want the best for her, there isn't anything wrong with that. I promise that I will always look after Dixie and if I don't then you can chop off my head.' I smiled and then I laughed, I liked Hannah's sense of humour.

'I know that you won't hurt Dixie, you're too nice for that Hannah.'

'Thanks Jeff.'

'You're welcome princess.'

'I don't think Lena will be coming back Jeff, Dixie told her to leave. I won't let that woman come between us and neither will Dixie.' Hannah hugged me and I hugged her back, I am pleased that she decided to come and work at Holby.

Dixie, Cyd and Polly came out of the changing room and stood in front of me and Hannah. 'Hey princess, are you ready to go?'

'Of course I am Jeffrey.'

'Good, the first round is on me.'

'I was so hoping that you would say that.' Dixie linked her arm with mine as we walked over to the pub. 'Jeffrey, will you buy me chocolate?'

'You don't want much, do you Miss Dixon?'

'You're my best friend, come on Jeffrey, please buy me chocolate.'

'Seeing as you asked me so nicely I'll get you chocolate.'

'Yay, thank you.' Dixie rested her head on my shoulder and snuggled up to me. 'I love you Jeffrey.'

'Because I'm buying you chocolate?'

'Partly, also because you're my best friend.'

''You're my best friend too.' I heard Hannah, Cyd and Polly talking and laughing as we all went into the pub. I was looking forward to this evening, it was nice to wind down after working all week.

We went to our usual table and took over it with all of our things, there were a few other people from the hospital in here and we greeted them all. 'Okay ladies, I'll get the usual, any objections?'

'Don't forget my chocolate Jeffrey.'

'I won't princess.'

'Thank you love.' I took my wallet and went over to the bar; I got my usual beer, one for Dixie and Polly and wine for Hannah and Cyd. I added Dixie's chocolate to the list and a few bags of crisps for the rest of us. I thanked the barman and went to turn around when I bumped into someone. 'Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you.'

'That's all right,' the woman said to me and smiled. I smiled back and I noticed that she had nice brown eyes.

'I hope I didn't make you spill your drink.'

'You didn't. And you are?'

'I'm Jeff.'

'Nice to meet you Jeff. I'm Sarah.'

'Nice to meet you too.' I shook her hand and she smiled again, it struck me how nice her smile was too.

'Are you here with friends Jeff?'

'Yeah, my friends and colleagues, we've just finished a shift at the hospital.'

'What do you do there?'

'I'm a paramedic.'

'Sounds very interesting, this is my number, give me a call.'

'I'll do that.' I wrote my number down for her in return. Sarah turned around when someone called her name.

'I have to go, my friends are waiting for their drinks but maybe one day I'll come and see your ambulance. See you later Jeff.'

'Yeah, I'll look forward to you popping in to see me. See you later.' I picked up the tray with my own drinks and went back to the table where my own friends were waiting for me.

Dixie smiled at me knowingly when I sat down. 'What?'

'We all saw what happened over there Jeffrey, with you and that lovely lady.'

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Of course you do, Mr Collier, no woman can resist those eyes of yours.'

'Dixie, are you teasing me?'

'Maybe a little bit, I am pleased for you, it is about time my best friend had some romance in his life.'

'She hasn't even called yet.'

'I think she will.'

'Do you think so?'

'Yeah, why not, you are quite the catch.' I saw Hannah and Polly listening to the conversation that was going on between me and Dixie. 'What do you think, is Dixie right?'

'Of course she is,' Hannah said and Polly nodded. 'She'd be silly not to call.'

'I hope you're right, I've been off the dating scene for so long that I've forgotten what it is like to go out on a date with someone.'

'We'll help you practice Jeffrey, don't worry love.' Dixie put her hand on my arm and I smiled at her. Sarah might not call me but it was nice to know that I was still able to attract women.

'Thanks Dix.'

'No problem mate, we'll make sure you scrub up nicely.'

'Now there's a challenge.'

'Nonsense, you're very handsome Jeffrey Collier.' I picked up my glass and touched it against Dixie's and then everyone else's.

'Cheers.' I took a drink from my glass and then put it down. I looked around at my friends, I was very fortunate to have them in my life. If Sarah calls then I will meet with her and see how it turns out, for now I am content to know that there is someone out there that finds me attractive enough to give me her number.