"Do do do….!" Genesect went, casually as he went on his laptop, to check out the daily news. Usually, between reviews and other things, he likes to check things that is happening amongst the world.
Something catches Genesect's eye, and he leans in to have a closer look. "Huh…." He went, gaining a grin as he read more.
"Ace Attorney 6, eh?!" he remarked, rather happy to see a new entry of his favourite game series come to light. Reading more details, Genesect then notices something else, completely surprising him.
But, before he could yell out something in surprise, Darkrai suddenly appears in the room, reading a book about something.
"Hey, Genesect." Darkrai went, focusing on the book. "Watcha reading?"
"News about Ace Attorney."
"Is there a new one coming soon?" Darkrai asked, glancing over. Genesect nodded, still focusing on the computer.
Darkrai grinned as he begins to walk. "Awesome."
Genesect nodded once again. "Indeed. But, there's something else…."
"What is it?"
"Ace Attorney is getti- look out for that hole!"
"What ar-ARGH!"
Suddenly, Darkrai falls down a convenient placed hole in Genesect's room, dropping the book down the hole as well with him. As he fell, Darkrai yelled a Goofy-holler.
Genesect blinked, looking at the hole in his floor. "I have no clue why I haven't fixed that hole yet…."
Getting up, Genesect walks over to a desk and pushes it over the hole to prevent to anything from falling into the hole again.
"Hm…." Genesect thought, thinking to himself. "I wonder where Darkrai went….?"
Shaking his head, Genesect goes to go back to his computer when suddenly his room started shaking, if like an earthquake was happening. It began to shake extremely violently, as many of Genesect's stuff begins to fall down, plus the Bug himself.
"What on earth is happening?!" Genesect question, slightly panicking as he struggled to get up as his room shook. As he managed to stand up fully, a bright light blinded the Angry Bug, causing him to cover his eyes.
Once the light had faded and Genesect uncovered his eyes, he saw to his utter surprise that Arceus is hovering there, completely bewildered on how he got there and not noticing Genesect there.
"Arceus?!" Genesect shouted, quite surprised to see the Alpha Critic there, hovering. Arceus glanced over to see the Angry Bug.
"Oh, hello there Genesect." Arceus went, somewhat bewildered and irritated at the same time. "What are you doing here?"
Genesect sweats a little nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Um, I live here." Arceus then glanced around Genesect's (now messy) room.
"Oh, so you do."
"If you don't mind, what are you doing here, Arceus?"
Arceus frowned with a non-existing mouth, still irritated. "I think Mew pulled an elaborate prank on me, though I haven't a clue on what she actually did. Last thing I remember is getting blinded by a light which then involved me being teleported here."
Genesect nodded, thinking. "Since you're here, do you fancy doing a review together?"
Arceus thought for a moment then nodded. "Sure, I see why not. What story do you have in mind?"
The Angry Bug Show
Presented By:
Genesect and Arceus
Sylveon Loves Cupcakes
By Muffinypowers
Genesect smiled and gave a friendly wave. "Hey you guys, girls or whatever! Welcome back to the Angry Bug Show, or Arceus the Critic as I may say!"
The camera panned out a bit to reveal Arceus hovering next to the Dual Type, who looked both confused and somewhat irritated. "Yes. I'm not exactly sure how I ended up here, though I'm certain I can pry an answer out of Mew once I find a way back. In the meantime, we'll be reviewing a story."
"Indeed we shall, Arceus!" Genesect chimed in before shaking one of the Alpha Pokémon's hooves. "It is a great pleasure to be reviewing with you! I wonder what Mew did to get you here...?"
Arceus nodded. "Likewise. Regardless of whatever asinine scheme she carried out, though, I'm certain that this story will make it pale in comparison."
"Hmm..." Genesect put one of his claws to what passed as his chin. "Yes... I believe that too." Arceus looked down.
"And, so, we start out in Santalune Forest."
"Sylveon! Are you okay?" A young Trainer was kneeling down by a Fairy-type in Santalune Forest,
Genesect scratched his head. "Huh... That seemed to start off rather quickly..."
"You wouldn't happen to have a sound system or some equivalent thereof, would you?" The Paleozoic Pokémon looked up.
"Sure; it's over there."
Arceus gave a nod before his eyes flashed. "Thank you."
(Nigel Tufnell: No one knows who they were... Or what they were doing.)
yelling about how he was an idiot and not to jump out the stupid window and run to the stupid forest and stupid stupid stupid-
The purple Pokémon looked confused. "What the? Is this the trainer's monologue of thought or something? If so, that's rather...stupid."
Arceus rolled his eyes, materialized a drum set, and performed a sting. "Yes, well-"
Stahp.
The Normal Type blinked. "Okay?"
Genesect only crossed his arms and glowered. "Ah, the classic mis-spelling of 'stop'. You don't see that spelling often in fan-fiction, due to the fact that NO ONE USES IT!"
"I need... cupcakes... Please, Trainer..." the Pokémon responded. "Cup... cakes..."
Arceus rolled his eyes and began mimicking Sylveon's voice. "I.. just... jumped out a window and broke all my bones... Cup... cakes..."
Genesect smiled. "Good impression there, Arceus. I'm just wondering on how Sylveon is able to speak!"
(Travis Bickle: You talking to me?)
"Of course, Sylveon, anything for you- Wait, how are you talking to me?" Serena said, taking Sylveon in her arms.
The Angry Bug pointed at the camera. "See? Even Serena questions how Sylveon is speaking!"
Arceus rolled his eyes. "Oh, nevermind that insignificant little detail; Sylveon needs his cupcakes!"
Genesect drooped slightly. "But...I like little details...!"
"Shut up... cupcakes."
Genesect crossed his arms. "Now, that's just rude!"
Arceus furrowed his non-existent brow confusedly, leaning in slightly. "Is he asking for cupcakes or calling Serena cupcakes?"
The Dual Type scratched his head. "I don't know to be honest..."
Serena nodded in response, passing him a pink cupcake. He rolled out of her lap into some vacant grass, which a Panpour- Wait, Pansage- No, Pansear- No, it was Pansage after all- Panstupid- tried to walk into.
"And so, a random Pansomething bravely tried to walk into this story to give it some common sense," Arceus remarked solemnly. Genesect nodded.
"I wonder what this Panwhatever will do?"
Serena began to yell some words at it that would put anyone to shame, and the Panstupid sped away. That's when Calem walked into the forest, having heard her yelling at Pan-whatever-the-crap.
"Unfortunately Pan-what's-its-name was quickly replaced with Calem, who actually had a reason to have dialogue and a reason for showing up."
"At least Calem has a use in this story, I think..." Genesect muttered.
"Well, let's find out, shall we?"
"Are you okay? I heard your yelling, and- you might not want to give that cupcake to it."
"Um, why not?" Genesect's look turned from confused to horrified. "What's this Sylveon gonna do?!"
"Go on a sugar high, obviously," Arceus commented reservedly.
"Him," Serena reminded her idiot of a neighbor. "And why shouldn't I give him the cupcake?" Sylveon nabbed the treat from his Trainer's hand. Then, a symbol appeared behind him. The Mega Evolution symbol.
Genesect grinned triumphantly.
"You, sir, are wrong," Arceus only rolled his eyes.
"If not them, it's about to send the readers on one. Like so:"
Oh, Muk. They were screwed. His ribbons multiplied until he was covered, and he grew some wings that matched his eyes and fur perfectly. He fluttered into the air, and Serena and Calem watched. The pair's faces both read, "Oh crap."
The Normal Type leaned in close. "But wait! There's more!"
"Syl! Sylveon!" the Mega called out. The crappiness of this situation would continue to grow, however. After using Psyshock on a tree, which burst into pieces for no good reason, its wings grew larger. The ribbons turned into redness, which took over the blackness that Sylveon's fur had become. His back legs turned into a tail, which grew dark spikes on the end, and his front legs became tough-looking talons. Sylveon grew two curved horns on his head, which made him look like the letter Y.
Genesect's eyes went wide. "Great googly moogly, Sylveon is turning into Yveltal! This story is way too random!"
"Well, apparently that thought occurs to our heroes as well."
"Did Sylveon just Mega Evolve, blow up a tree, then turn into Yveltal?" Serena asked.
"Yep," was Calem's reply.
(Pearl: I don't understand.)
Genesect sighed. "Honestly, I think my internal screaming has intensified."
The Alpha Pokémon's eyes flashed. "It's about to get worse."
"Crap." YvelSylveon, as he shall be referred to from now on, began to use Oblivion Wing on everything around him. "Well, this sucks. Hide!"
Arceus sighed.
(Jerry Seinfeld: To the idiot mobile!)
The Angry Bug threw his arms up into the air. "For goodness sake! Doesn't anything in this story make sense?!"
Serena dragged Calem behind a tree. Yes, to hide from YvelSylveon. It was not very effective, however, because YvelSylveon blew it up. Serena watched from behind the destroyed tree, staring at a Panstupid trio that was hit by the red beam.
"Oh, look, the Pannothings are back," Genesect muttered.
"Come back, Panshane!" Arceus said mournfully. "Your appearances made more sense than anything else in this story..."
"Is that thing a Dark/Flying now, or still a Sylveon? Because I have my Gengar with me." Calem said.
An anime tick appeared on Genesect's head. "I think it would be a Dark/Flying/Fairy, which is actually FREAKING impossible!"
"What, did you replace that girly Clefable with it?"
"No." Calem sent out Gengar, which was almost instantly OHKO'd by YvelSylveon's Dark Pulse. "Aw..."
"Hey, cheer up, rival!" Serena said happily, ignoring the fact that the world around her was being destroyed. "At least you stopped its rampage for a sec- OH CRAP!"
(Joel Hodgson: They're on a collision course with wackiness!)
The Oblivion Wing hit both Trainers, vaporizing what was left of the tree they had hidden behind.
Genesect growled angrily. "Wouldn't they be turned to stone, or be dead?! This fic is barking mad! IT'S FRUSTRATES ME!"
Arceus' head lowered slightly. "At this point I've just given up on trying to take this story seriously..."
'Serena fainted! Calem also fainted!' The stupid unnecessary voice that always told Trainers what was going on, even though they already knew, would have said.
"See?"
The Paleozoic Pokémon nodded. "Yeah, I see. I think I might overheat due to the amount of frustrating..."
'Stupid awkward-moment-making Sylveon who happened to turn into Yveltal and kill everyone,' Serena thought, right before she fell to the ground, clutching her heart both because it was in pain and for dramatic effect.
"You know, if this was left for pain, I would be worried, but it's just stupid that it was used for effect! Argh!" Genesect threw his arms up again.
"Gah... ech... Bob the potato... nyah," were the brilliant last words that Calem said before he fainted alongside her. Suddenly, YvelSylveon paused. He landed on what was left of a tree, and looked back to his near-dead Trainer.
Arceus began mimicking Sylveon's voice again. "What's her deal? I just nearly killed her, that's all."
She was on a grassy part of the ground, where some sun was shining, and it all looked rather peaceful. YvelSylveon devolved back into Mega Sylveon, and then back to normal Sylveon. He used the last of his wings to land beside Serena, and nudged her with his nose.
"When did Sylveon become a Digmon is what I'm wondering," Arceus' eyes narrowed slightly.
"A better question would be when did this story start making sense?"
He prepared the move she had just recently taught him from the TM she had gotten from Valerie, and used it on everything around him. Slowly, the forest came to life, like it was revived from Xerneas itself, and Serena woke up with a groan.
"Nymphia? Er, Sylveon?" she said, blushing at her unnecessary use of his Japanese name.
"Why on earth would Serena call Sylveon by it's Japanese name despite speaking English and already know the correct name for it?!" Genesect took a deep breath. "You know what, I'm not asking any more!"
"I'm convinced this story has turned into a parody of itself..." The Dual Type nodded in agreement.
"Yes, yes it has..."
"Syl!" he jumped onto her stomach, and slid onto her lap as she sat up.
"Calem, wake up..." she said softly, shaking him. "Wake up, I said..." she hit him lightly. "WAKE YOUR STUPID FACE UP!"
"Gah, what? What was that for?"
"Laughs," Arceus murmured while Genesect chuckled.
"Yeah, that was TOTALLY funny!"
"For being stupid!" she turned up her nose at him, and Sylveon batted her face playfully. She sent out her Crobat, and Sylveon hid behind Calem.
"Let's hope that Pansomething don't re-appear." Genesect frowned. "Speaking of which, did they disappear?"
"Well, if they didn't, they'll wish they did when they got the chance."
"Fear of Poison types... I knew it." Sylveon stepped out nervously when she recalled Crobat.
A faint, non-existent, smile came onto Arceus' face. "Random Crobat appearance... Now where have I seen that before?"
Genesect's face brightened. "Ah, you must be referring to Intoxiquer!"
Intoxiquer the Crobat suddenly flew into the room. "NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!"
The Bat Pokémon was about to fly out of the room before a sixteen ton weight suddenly appeared from nowhere and landed in its path.
"Well, now what?" Serena asked Calem. He took her hand and led her back to Vaniville, despite repeated 'Let go of me!', 'I can do it myself!' and 'There's no convincing you, is there, rival?'. Sylveon ran the other way, having seen something that he knew could wreak havoc on the world, or at least the forest, if he was left alone with it. He was, thanks to Calem's stupidity.
Sylveon had just located a second cupcake.
Rinse and repeat.
"And so, the cycle of Pan-bashing begins anew," the Normal Type said sagely.
"More hate for the Panthings, then? Great! At least the story has ended!" Genesect cheered.
Arceus nodded. "That it has. So, what is your opinion on it?"
"To be honest, this fic gives me a headache. I have no clue what's going and it hardly explains anything! It's like the author just randomly came up with this on the spot to achieve some kind of comedic effect! As far as I'm aware of, this is NOT funny! It's just one random thing after another with no build up at all! The only thing that I did find funny is the Pan-jokes, but it lost the comedic effect very quickly as soon as it came into the story! The thing that Sylveon Mega-evolving then evolving in Yveltal really confused me! IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL!"
Arceus remained rather passive during the Angry Bug's outburst. "That it does. For all intents and purposes, this is a crack-fic at its purest form. As a result, it would be detrimental to expect anything else from it. So, to that end, it does indeed fulfill its purpose, and if you look at it from a certain angle, fulfills it well. It's also well written from a grammatical standpoint, save a few intentional misspellings."
The Alpha Pokémon nodded. "Yes, this story might not make any sense whatsoever, promising to send you on a sugar high that could rival Sylveon's, but at least it accomplishes what it sets out to do."
"Yeah...I got to agree, it is well-written. It's certainly a crack fic, so maybe I shouldn't have gone on that rant..." Genesect's contemplative visage returned to normal. "But, one thing is for sure, it did drive me a little mad."
"And us all. Regardless-" Arceus was suddenly cut off before he vanished into thin air. Genesect just stared at the space the Legendary had been hovering over in shock, while the screen slowly faded to black, before being replaced with a memorial photo.
In loving memory of Pan-whatever-it-was: 2013 – 2015
The Angry Bug looks round as the memorial photo remains on screen.
"Um…." Genesect goes, whilst in the dark with the memorial photo still there. "I think the memorial thing is broken. It's still there!"
"It is?" called a voice, Intoxiquer's to be in fact. "I'll try and fix it! Just wait there!" A flutter of wings then is heard fading away, leaving Genesect in the darkness. He remains silent, just standing there. He then hears some stuff being pushed around, followed by a swear word that shan't be repeated. Genesect knew the voice's owner, though.
"Darkrai?"
"Yo. What's up with that photo and the darkness?" Darkrai asked, completely covered by darkness.
"I think it's broken. As for why it's here, I did a review on a story with Arceus the Critic and I think it was a gag ending." Genesect replied, looking at the photo on the screen.
"Oh, you did a review with Arceus? Awesome."
"Indeed it was."
"What was the story about?" Darkrai yet again inquired, looking at the photo.
"Eh, some story about a Sylveon and cupcakes. It was a crack fic story but it was a good written one. Drove me a little insane though."
"I see. What was it that you were trying to say to me earlier before I fell into that conveniently placed hole?"
"Oh." Genesect went, grinning a little though Darkrai can't see due to the darkness. "Ace Attorney is getting an TV anime adaption."
A sudden thud was heard. Genesect grabbed a torch and turned it on, only to find that Darkrai had fainted.
The Bug then turns and shines the torch on himself. "I bet he felt he was being 'cornered'!"
We'll see you on the next Angry Bug Show!
A Special Thanks To:
Imperator Justinian
Mentioned Things:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Series
Arceus the Critic
Spinal Tap
Taxi Driver
Steven Universe
Seinfield: The Sniffing Accountant
Mystery Science Theatre 3000
A/N: Hey, DragonNiro here. I would like to say another thank you to Imperator Justinian for collaborating with me on this story. I haven't actually done this sort of thing before and it was with his help that this story was reviewed, along with helping me understand how to collaborate on a review!
He's an excellent author and his stories should be read, they're really great!
If you wish to see how Arceus got to Genesect's place and what happened to him at the end, go check out Arceus the Critic Season 2, for an alternative opening and ending. It was great to work with him!
Now, I hope you enjoyed this review and I'll see you lot later!
