Hey guys, sorry it took a little bit to update. I got 3 new chapters done and hopefully more. I just finished finals before my last term starts so during my 3 week break, I'm thinking a WD marathon may be in order. :) Also, check out my new story All Who Remain. I just updated that with some new chapters today too. Enjoy and I look forward to your reviews.
Tensions run high through the group as we prepare for Rick to have his sit down with the Governor. I agreed with Merle on this one. Andrea's always been headstrong and impulsive. She rarely saw what was right in front of her half the time and spoke without thinking. We knew she meant well but we all knew what this monster was capable of. We'd seen it.
Rick sat down with all the adults, deciding on who should go and what needed to be done. After going over the plan at least a dozen times in the last 12hrs. I was getting irritated as we continued to debate everything with the same arguments from the same people.
Mid-way through another argument about who was going with, I stood up and walked outside for a few minutes. My head was swimming with all the fear and "what-if's" that I could handle. The setting sun meant they would be leaving in less than 10 hours for their meeting.
I wasn't sure I wanted this anymore. The idea of that man so close to people I care about, made me ill. Part of me suspected he was the type of guy that you only got close to if he wanted you there. There was no coincidence here.
Behind me a door closed and I heard footsteps. Merle was behind me. He cleared his throat.
"Didn't realize ya came out here." He apologizes as he takes a cigarette out putting it to his lips.
He looks down at my stomach and stops short of lighting it. Instead, he tucks it behind his ear and puts the pack back in his shirt pocket. He keeps surprising me and it is hard to hold on to the hatred I once had for him.
"I couldn't listen to it again. In all honesty, I haven't wanted to punch Mason like that since I caught him with Rachel." My eyes drop at the mention of her name. I hadn't thought about her for a while; Isaiah either. Jimmy never left my thoughts though. Even today, I found myself turning to get his opinion on something that was said. It pained me each time to realize he wasn't there. My eyes instinctively fly over to the area we designated to our cemetery.
"Yeah? The ginger cheated on ya? Didn't think he had it in 'im." Merle guffaws loudly.
"It wasn't funny at the time. I seriously tried to figure out how long I'd spend in prison for killing him and whether it was worth it." I grin sarcastically at the thought.
"I never did the whole one-woman thing. Ol' Merle couldn't choose between 'em all. I just told 'em that there was too much love in my heart for just one of 'em." He continues laughing.
"And they fell for that shit? You knew how to find the dumb ones hu?" I chuckle at the mental image of what I expect Merle to have dated.
"They didn't need to be smart for what I wanted, darlin'."
"Eww Merle, you sound like the creepy uncle." I swat his arm.
"Uncle Merle does have a nice ring ta it." He contemplates.
"It makes ya sound old." Daryl's voice startles me. I didn't hear the door open again. He moves quickly in place behind me, wrapping his arms around me. "Why'd ya go?"
"I couldn't listen to it again." I explain
"She was gonna cold cock the ginger in there." Merle laughs again at his joke.
"What's goin on with him?" Daryl asks, not joining in with Merle's laughter. I shrug; he hasn't said much to me since the night Carol disappeared in the tombs with T-Dogg.
"You talk to him more than I do." I tell him. He hugs me closer.
"He's been givin me advice about how to deal with yer stubborn ass."
"When you get back, I'll talk to him. We don't need to fight before he goes out there with you. If something happens and we were fighting, I'd never forgive myself." I bite the side of my thumb, nervous about tomorrow morning.
"Talk to him a little bit before we go. Let him know we're gonna do that birthday thing fer Eli tomorrow. Give him something to look forward to." Daryl is right. I nod and head inside, leaving the brothers to talk. I caught them whispering to each other several times since we got back from our run. Each time I walked into the room, the got super quiet. I knew they were up to something but I didn't ask. It was kinda cute the way they were working on something together.
I run up to my room and grab the art supplies that we pick up in town and head off in search of Mason. I find him in his cell. He is laying on his bunk, reading a Grisham book but he doesn't look like he is actually into it. In fact, he looks pissed off. I stand in the doorway and clear my throat.
"What?" His voice is cold and it shocks me.
"Uh, I just wanted to let you know that when we went on our run, we picked up some stuff that I thought Eli might like. I thought maybe we could celebrate his birthday when you guys get back tomorrow. I even found another notebook and some pencils if you wanna give it to him." I hold out the items and he points to the table in front of me. I set it down.
"Yeah, that's fine. We can do that." His voice is emotionless. I still don't want to make him mad but I feel I have to at least say something.
"Maybe when you get back, we could talk. I feel like we haven't in a while." I suggest. He shrugs and gives me a half-nod, his eyes are dark and he looks everywhere but at me. "I haven't said it since we hit the road and I know I've never said it enough in the past but thank you for everything. We may not have worked out but you're one of my best friends and you've done so much to save me from everyone, including myself." He finally looks up at me. His expression is pained and heartbreaking. I sit down next to him. He sits up and puts his head in his hands, staring at the floor. We're quiet for a moment.
Andrea once told me that she fought with Lori because Lori couldn't see past her own selfish issues. Andrea said that she yelled at Lori because of everything Lori still had. We all watched Lori lead Shane on and then she judged the rest of us. Lori often forgot that she was gaining so much everyone else around her lost so much. She had her son and husband back, her new baby and Shane following her around. I started to feel like Lori again. My stomach rolled at the thought.
Here I was, oblivious to everyone else's pain and loss, pretending I had it worse when in reality, I had more than most. This man had lost his home, his wife and the worship of his son. He packed up to come with me and here I found my brother and new sister-in-law, I had my son, a new love and now a new life. I had lost the same people he had but he just didn't have anything left.
"I just can't keep losing people." He's still cold and distant.
"I'm gonna get all mushy on you. Blame it on all those years I was addicted to Dawson's Creek if you wanna." He rolls his eyes at me. He made fun of me throughout the entire relationship for my teen soap addiction. "Mase, this is real life, not some story. In real life, we lose people we love, they die in our arms. In real life, people hurt you, they can kill you. In real life, there is no happily ever after. Real life is dirty and cruel and horrible and sometimes it just plain sucks. But the world doesn't end because it is dark, you just can't see it anymore. That is the way it is with pain, the kind inside you. It doesn't destroy life, it only darkens it. You gotta focus on finding the light. It's there. We can't have darkness without it; we wouldn't know it was dark then. It's the balance of the world." The room gets quiet.
"You're right, you really did watch way too much of that show. I never understood your obsession with that Pacey dude." He says, completely serious. I shake my head at him and push him away.
"We'll talk when you're back. You and Daryl watch each other's back tomorrow. Get some sleep." I tell him, standing up to leave. "Oh and go spend the night with Carol. I don't wanna hear details but I'm pretty sure that woman would hold you tonight. You deserve it." I wink at him as his face blushes.
Daryl meets me in the perch area. He is hanging out with the boys for a bit. We decide to stay up playing cards with them before going to bed. Who knew what was gonna happen with the Governor. We are as prepared as we could be. Tonight, we just need to spend time with each other.
