She had to say something.

That was the conclusion that Lily reached after a good ten minutes of to-ing and fro-ing in her head. She had stood up three times, full of the intention to go and speak to him. She had even made it to the end of the shelf before turning back in a panic. Eventually, she needed to speak or leave, and she had chosen to speak. She needed to hear from Severus whether or not he had been involved in the attacks. She all but knew that he had been, but she felt as if it would solidify her certainty and her resolve against the Slytherins that she knew beyond all doubt and hope were involved in the attacks, both on other people and her.

She walked back and forth a few more times, until she realised that she was running out of time before lunch would be over. She wasn't exactly sure of Severus' timetable anymore but she knew that she didn't particularly want to be left here when everyone else was in class, with the person she suspected of attacking her.

Vowing to treat this as an investigation rather than a conversation, she rounded the shelf and charged into the light of the window, making sure that she was seen before she could back out.

"Hello." Severus spoke to her with the kind of cold voice he used to reserve for those that he considered so far beneath him as not to merit respect.

In a way, she supposed that was what she was to him now, but she couldn't deny that there was a pang in her chest as she heard it.

"Severus, I need to speak to you."

"Yes?" he looked at her, and she suddenly felt as if she was the one being questioned. She used to get this feeling sometimes, usually when she was being evasive or trying to hide something from him, when he would look deep into her eyes and would seem to read every thought she had ever had right out of them. It was almost like…magic.

"I need to ask you some things and I don't expect that you'll tell me the truth, but I have to ask."

"Well, go ahead then. Since I think you're going to anyway."

"Did you hear about the attack, last night?"

"Yes."

"How did you hear about it?" Where you there?

"A friend mentioned it this morning."

"Did you do it?" there was no point in skirting around the issue. There was nothing that she was trying to preserve between them that might have made tact worthwhile.

He said nothing for a moment, just looked into her eyes with that same gathering stare. She refused to look away, no matter how much it was starting to feel like someone had taken to her brain with a scouring brush.

"It's so strange, seeing Lily Evans talk, but hearing James Potter."

"What? What's James got to do with this?"

"Oh, isn't he vital to the very running of the school? Isn't he central to everything? Well, he's kept the puppet strings very well hidden, Lily, but you shouldn't forget, I used to know you."

She had never seen him like this. Even during that last big fight, he hadn't spoken much, just swore that he wouldn't leave until she spoke. He had never been overly communicative, so it was strange that he was so verbose at the very moment she thought he would clam up.

"Whatever, or whoever, you think you used to know isn't my concern, Severus. I make my own choices and I'm choosing to give you a chance."

"A chance? For what?"

"To come clean. Tell me who else was involved. I can go to Dumbledore, we could go together, and tell him what you know. We might never be friends again; Severus, but we could be allies. We could be on the same side, and maybe…"

She didn't know what else to say. If Severus hadn't chosen the way he had, she would have never fallen out with him. They would have read their OWL results out to one another was they sat in the park, they would have been on the train back to school together and everything would have went on as it was, perhaps as it was meant to be.

She certainly wouldn't have found herself friends with James Potter. Perhaps the maturing that she had seen in James this year would have meant that they could be civil, the bullying would have stopped and maybe she would be feeling about Severus the way she felt about James.

She didn't mean the fancying bit, but the 'glad-I'm-friends-with-him' feeling that had occasionally radiated over her in the past few months.

She didn't know what would have happened, and she had given up on ever returning to the friendship she had once had with Severus. That particular friendship was on a par with Petunia in the list of unfixable relationships that you just have to live with.

Still, Severus was clever. Surely he had to see how wrong it was to segregate a world by things you couldn't change. He had to understand that. Perhaps the Anti-Muggle side gave him a sense of belonging, and superiority, but she didn't see how anyone could actually hold those beliefs. If he was doing it to protect himself, he was doing the wrong thing, didn't he realise that the side with Albus Dumbledore, who she was pretty certain was Pro-Muggle, was the stronger side?

There were so many reasons and rationales for Severus coming to join them that she didn't quite understand why he hadn't done it already.

"Severus, we can help you. I can help you, but you need to admit to me w-"

"Well, this is cosy!" a voice came from behind her back and she was struck by the now-familiar panic when she realised that she was now outnumbered, by people very likely to attack her.

Mulciber, the perennial thorn in her side, was of course there; with Avery and a boy she knew vaguely but couldn't have put a name to.

Severus' hand immediately flew to where his wand lay, forgotten, on the table. She felt her heart drop, wondering if he was going to curse her. She knew that if she so much as moved her hand an inch, she would be facing swift retaliation, so she was completely unarmed. If she was getting out of this, it was going to have to be through talking.

"Cosy isn't the word I would use." Lily said flatly.

"Severus." Mulciber said with a kind of warning intensity that suggested that he, not Lily, was the one in danger. "Isn't this… a strange coincidence? After our little conversation the other evening, here you are, in the company of a Mudblood."

"Y'know, it loses some of its effect if you overuse it. You should really try and save it up, you know, just for special occasions… like birthdays, mine's on the 30th."

Why was it, she wondered silently, that she had to actively try and make this worse? She was outnumbered four to one, they all had wands at the ready, and here she was giving a lecture on the diminishing returns of overused insults. It seemed that her rebellious eyes had been colluding with her mouth and they had sparked a full-on coup. She didn't know if she was going to be in control of herself for much longer at this rate.

Mulciber acted as if he hadn't even heard her, though she thought that she saw Avery bristle slightly. Maybe he really liked saying 'Mudblood' and didn't want some kind of quota system introduced?

"Severus, be careful. You really ought to watch who you're associating with. People might question your… loyalties."

"Oh, don't worry, he's plenty loyal to you lot, and your noble cause of attacking children in the night. What's next, old ladies, puppies?"

Finally, she merited a bit of a reaction from Mulciber. He turned his contemptuous gaze on her and lowered his tone.

"If you don't watch out, it'll be red-haired little Gryffindors we're going after next."

She gave him a beaming smile, and a small clap.

"Well, at least you didn't say Mudblood! See,"

Mulciber reddened with anger and looked seconds away from cursing Lily, when Madame Pince passed by and told them all that they ought to go since lunch was just about over.

They all claimed free periods, but Lily took the opportunity to skirt around them, grab her stuff from the neighbouring table and get out of there.

As she barrelled down the corridor, apologising to people she was bumping into, she realised that the entire conversation had been useless, she hadn't even gotten a denial that would have told her the truth from him. Instead she had found out that Severus really didn't like James, Mulciber really didn't like Lily, and that Lily really didn't like the word Mudblood.

She supposed that she had learned that Severus' loyalties were being questioned, likely as a result of his long friendship with her, but what good was that? Severus was never going to change sides, and so there was very little use to be found in that information.

She knew that Mulciber, with others, was definitely attacking people, which meant that there was absolutely no doubt that Lily's attack was connected to Mary's and Jenny's attack.

It had definitely not been worth the prospect of a week in the Hospital Wing to find out what she already knew.

LILY EVANS' KEEP-TRACK LIST OF THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT

1 – The fact that someone is attacking Muggleborns

2 – The fact that said someone (or one of said group of someone) is probably old best friend

3 – The fact that they have a larger plan with these attacks and it is likely horrendous and needs thwarting

4 – the fact that one of new friends is as immature as always and could possibly revert to old ways in which he bullied old best friend

5– The fact that might possibly fancy new friend

6 – At least one, probably more, of new friends' friends know this and could tell him at any moment

7 – The fact that new friend is possibly going to be dating other new 'friend' thanks to excellent matchmaking skills

8 – Not keeping up with schoolwork, thanks to 1-6

9 – Having to write letter to sister so as not to feel overwhelming guilt about poor relationship

Lily scribbled additions to her list on a spare scrap of parchment that she would later realise was a note of her Charms homework, in barely legible handwriting. She was using this to look busy, in order to avoid speaking to anyone. Charms was one of the subjects that allowed for avoidance of discussion. One could so easily miss a step of preparation or mispronounce a word and perform a charm disastrously that there was a general need for silence.

Her friends weren't the silent sort.

After ten minutes of pestering whispers from Jac, and obnoxious attempts to read over her shoulder, she tucked the list into her pocket, and answered her.

"What?"

"You okay?"

"No! You're driving me insane."

"I mean about J-"

"Don't!" Lily put her hand across Jac's mouth, silencing her and whispering her plea. "Please, I don't want to talk about this. Not here!"

"Okay, but after dinner, we'll talk then, you know they're probably not even g-"

"Jac! Stop!"

Finally, her friend nodded her assent and moved on to asking Lily for help with the wand movement. This was something she could handle. The calm didn't last long though, and a knock at the door jolted Lily from her calm focus. She was even more disturbed when she saw Professor McGonagall, and she had forgotten how she had ever felt anything other than stressed when she heard her name.

Professor McGonagall swept along corridors with Lily following behind, just barely keeping pace. Eventually they reached the headmaster's office and Lily remembered that Dumbledore had told her this was coming.

Professor McGonagall, stopping abruptly in front of a large stone gargoyle, announced "Liquorice Laces". Lily, not being quite sure how to respond, simply nodded gravely, but was soon distracted by the stone coming alive and stepping aside to admit them.

The Headmaster's study was as impressive as she had expected. She had never actually been here before, though it had been described to her by certain, more disobedient classmates.

The walls were hung with great portraits of stern looking witches and wizards, whose attention was very much on her. One in particular, an elderly man in green robes, was looking at her as if she had personally offended him with her presence. Dumbledore waved at a chair on one side of a great, oak desk and she quickly sat, wondering whether her opinions, with very little evidence that wasn't simply hunches and a sure-to-be-denied confession from Mulciber. She thought how much stronger she would feel is she could have convinced Severus to join her.

"Now, you have something to say, regarding the attack on Miss Jones?"

Hearing him describe it as an attack, even with the calm, undisturbed look on his face, gave her confidence. Maybe she wasn't going to be laughed out of his office.

"I think it's connected to the attack on Mary MacDonald, and the thing that happened to me."

"Yes?"

She took a breath, her resolve held together only by the thought of poor, innocent Jenny.

"They're all similar; we all were scratched to pieces. Neither Mary nor I can remember anything important, like the faces of the people who did it, and I'd bet Jenny can't either. After Mary's attack, Mulciber made a comment about it; he admitted he had done it. I don't think he was alone though..." She had one final piece to her argument. "And last night, I saw the Slytherins go out after hours, and they were talking about something they had planned, and I… I saw Jenny, I felt bad for her, and she was so scared of getting caught for being out after curfew. I found a prefect and I let her go off to the Ravenclaw common room."

She expected some questioning about why she had been out, how exactly she happened to hear them discussing a very convenient 'plan' or any number of other things.

"Which prefect did you send Miss Jones to?"

She gave the name, and Dumbledore nodded, thoughtful.

"There's something else!" she forced the words out of her before she could think the better of it. "The night I was attacked, I remember getting a letter, from Severus Snape, which was meant for James Potter. I can't remember what was in it, but I suspect that's what made me go down to the Lake."

She had done it; she had dragged Severus into the situation. Forcing herself to remember that he was the one who had brought himself into it, she came to a faltering silence.

"Miss Evans… thank you." Professor Dumbledore hadn't given away anything in his expression. Did he believe her? Did he think she was lying about Severus? What would happen now?

He didn't seem to want to chuck her out of the school for being idiotic enough to let a first year wander the school alone, so that was something at least.

She waited, wracking her brains for anything else she might tell him.

"Miss Evans, I would ask that you do not pursue anyone on this matter. No matter how well formed a plan, I would ask you to leave any investigations alone."

Did he know about The Plan? Given that it had not yielded great results, nor had the involvement of her friends helped at all, she thought he was probably right to ask, but it didn't make it easy.

"So, what are we just supposed to sit around and wait for them to attack another Muggleborn?" she burst, wondering where this frustration had come from. Perhaps it was the unperturbed appearance of the Headmaster that had lit a fire under her, but suddenly she was angry.

"How dare you!" a voice came from the wall. The old wizard, the green robed one, had exclaimed in outrage.

"Phineas, please." Professor Dumbledore said. "Miss Evans, please believe that Muggleborns at this school are as safe as they can be. No one is treating this lightly."

She nodded reluctantly, and fought the urge to stick out her tongue at the blustering old wizard on the wall.

She had worked out that he was Phineas Nigellus, an old professor who was related to Sirius. One might have, with careful attention, picked out the similarity in their eyes, possibly once this wizard had even looked a little like her friend, but it was hard to imagine two more different relatives. Immediately, Petunia sprung to mind, but she shook the thought away

"I think Mulciber might be." She retorted moodily and Professor Dumbledore looked almost as if he were on the verge of smiling.

"I can imagine it must be difficult to sit still. The issue is not being ignored, Miss Evans. As for Mr Potter and Mr Snape, I rather hoped their differences had been somewhat put aside."

She shook her head doubtfully, not wanting to worsen the situation.

"Well, there may be hope yet. Thank you, Miss Evans, you may return to your class."

And that was it. All her worrying and efforts had been taken away from her. Perhaps someone would look into the attacks, but it wasn't going to be her. She wasn't sure how to feel. Had she said anything that Professor Dumbledore might be concerned by? Did he think that the incidents, though he had called them attacks, were nothing more than a series of falls, accidents and misfortunes?

He was a smart man, a very smart one, but people can be blind when they really wish something isn't happening. No one could have wished more than Lily in that moment that the attacks would stop, and she would have no need to ever talk to her old friend, Severus, again. As it stood, she could see no other way than to seek out some answers.

And Mulciber wasn't likely to chat.

Jac kept her word. She didn't mention anything about dates or Hufflepuffs throughout the entire dinner. The only sign that anything was abnormal was that the second Lily put her fork and knife down; Jac gripped her by the arm, and pulled her to her feet.

"We're going now. Have a good Quidditch practice, James. Enjoy sitting in the freezing cold stands, cheering him on, you lot!"

She drew Lily away before she could hear the indignant responses. The others were going to watch James practice, which seemed like a terrible way to spend an evening to Lily, but at least it would limit the amount of time in which the sore subject of Iris Jacobs could be raised.

"So, can we talk about Iris Jacobs?" Jac announced as she pushed Lily down into an armchair and clicked her fingers to get the attention of Lynn and Karen who were chatting animatedly on the sofa nearest her.

"Oh, can we not do this?" Lily pleaded, but the decision had been made.

"What about her?" Lynn asked, looking questioningly at the obviously uncomfortable Lily.

"She asked me to do her a favour, I did, and Jac thinks that my life is ending as a result."

"What was the favour?"

Jac and Karen told her in almost perfect unison, their inappropriately excited voices crashing together.

"Oh!" Lynn answered when she had deciphered the facts from their retelling. "Oh, Lily! You don't fancy him, do you?"

"No!" She answered, almost as a reflex, at which Jac and Karen gave her warning stares.

"Oh, Lily, don't lie!"

"You don't run out of a room crying because you've asked a mate if he fancies some other girl!" Lynn piped up, and Jac and Karen looked around, startled by hearing something they didn't know.

"I wasn't crying because of that. I wasn't even crying, not really." She tried to wheedle a way out of the mire of embarrassment that she found herself in, but it wasn't working.

Karen came over to where Lily was sitting and gave her a hug, an uncomfortably long hug during which she rocked Lily back and forth like an n infant.

There was a lot more hugging and sympathy before the night was out, and Lily found herself cast in the role of tragically unloved, pining idiot.

None of them said the word 'idiot' but it was how Lily felt after the first hour of trying to convince them that she didn't care who James went out with, just that she didn't particularly want to be the one setting it up.

This only seemed to convince them more of the depth of Lily's pain, and soon she was beginning to doubt herself. Maybe she didn't really fancy James. It seemed from the reaction of the girls' that if you were in a situation where you had to set up the boy you fancied with another girl, you would be heartbroken, and unable to get out of bed. Lily hadn't loved it but she was fine. She wondered if possibly she had confused the relief of not having to fight James and the excitement of having a new friend with the fluttering feeling that generally accompanied liking someone.

She latched onto this idea quickly and shared it with her friends, who, although sceptical at first, eventually admitted that Lily's previous resistance to any positive opinion on James didn't exactly go hand in hand with love.

She had been confused. That was it. She didn't fancy him after all; she just liked him as a friend, and was glad to have him around. That was miles away from love.

She laughed as she thought about it.

After all, it was hard for Lily to imagine a person she would be less suited to dating than the arrogant, self-assured, egotistical James Potter. She would never have even thought about dating that James Potter.

And people didn't change.