An Ashley Greenwood Original Herbert The Hobbit!
*Disclaimer I don't own any of these products, locations, or characters, Herbert the Hobbit!*
"Elrond's coming,
Everyone is running,
It's my fault,
Must make him hault,
He must think I'm hot,
I'll show him all I got…"
Chapter 44: Come Here, I Want to Show You Something…
"Does he want me," I sighed to myself worried about my body.
Denethor put his hand on me, "He's after my castle." We all gasped.
"Why your castle like isn't cool or anything," Sam said.
Merry bopped him on the head, "He doesn't know that!" Then all of a sudden Elrond knocked the door.
"It's me Elrond let me in," Elrond yelled.
Denethor said, "No!"
Elrond said, "Let me in!"
Denethor said, "No!"
Elrond asked, "Why not?"
Denethor said, "I don't like you anymore!"
Elrond laughed, "You're a baby!"
Denethor yelled, "No!"
Elrond laughed, "We all know my kingdom is better than yours!"
Denethor then replied, "That's not what Herbert said!"
Elrond then asked smartly, "Oh really Herbert what did you say?"
I then said nervously, "Maybe."
Elrond then punched the door and yelled, "DARN IT!"
Denethor laughed some victory and chipped, "Come on boys, lets leave those losers alone!" We started to walk away and talk about each other, love and fashion, when all of a sudden we heard big bang! We turned around we saw… El'rond, the Orcs and his soldiers!
"Masteeer what should we do now," A soldier asked Elrond.
"I think," Elrond started to laugh, "We should take over this castle!"
"Oh no," Denethor yelled.
Elrond giggled at him, "Did you think our friendship was real Denethor, how immature?"
Denthor yelled, "You- you're the fakest bitch I know!"
Elrond then walked up to him and put his finger on his chin, "No, I'm the BADDEST!" We then ran up stairs with Denethor.
Elrond then yelled as we ran, "There's a traitor among you Denethor, me and him are very close!" We slammed the door behind us panicked.
"Oh no what should we do," Pippin piped in.
"I should go down and show them my magic powers," Gandalf yelled.
"Don't be stupid," Denethor yelled.
"Nobody would respect an old man like you, they'd just want to kill you," Denethor said meanly. Gandalf sat in a corner sad.
Frodo then put his hand on Denethor's shoulder, " I don't think that was very nice."
Denethor then pushed him away, "Oh yeah, well I think you and Herbert are gay!"
I gasped, "Gay shouldn't be used as an insult ever, there are some kids in school that get called gay and they kill themselves sometimes, and it's not nice, they should know it gets better, it's like me calling you a 'guy who owns a kingdom', see that's not nice!"
Denethor rolled his eyes, "Ugh homos."
Sam ran after him and tried to punch him, "Why you!" Denethor put on protection around him, Sam got thrown back with the wind!
"Why should I, one of you might be a traitor, and you guys like men, why should I be your partner," Denethor said nastily yet classily.
Aragon looked understanding, "I understand you're a homophobe, I used to be one too, but then I met someone…"
Denethor yelled, " EW, get away from me gay boy!" We sighed in a some people aren't nice sort of way. We all then sat there while Denethor called the soldiers to fight other soldiers who were located downstairs. The soldiers obeyed of course and said roger, which means the war is beginning downstairs, I thought I could help but they told me no, because of detective reasons.
Denethor then started to say something calmly, "So Gandalf… I see you're very old." Gollum laughed.
Gandalf then replied, "Silence you fool, Gollum, Yes I am old."
Denethor then paced the room in a calm detective way like they do in movies, "Ah, yes and did you know Elrond's old too?"
Legolas then jumped in defensivly, "What is this getting off!"
Denethor then yelled, "Silence you Snider!"
Gandalf then said, "Yes."
Denethor then said, "ARE YOU GUYS BY ANY CHANCE DATING AND YOU JUST WANT TO DESTROY MY KINGDOM!"
Gandalf gasped and calmly said, "I'll have you know I'm dating Michael Anderson!" Denethor then let him go. Gandalf continued in a fabulous voice, "He bought me some Skechers the other day, LOVE them." Denethor dramatically grabbed his own chin.
Deenthor then said dramatically, "I like your alibi, and its accurate too." We all silently celebrated.
Then all of a sudden we heard Elrond, "Come down, Come down Sir Denethor, I have a surprise for you." We all marched down to where he was, nobally. We then saw him.
Elrond then laughed, "Oh hello there sires, hellloo!"
"You can shut your mouth," Gandalf yelled.
Elrond laughed then paused seriously, "I killed half your army Denethor."
"Noooooooo," Denethor yelled!
Elrond then laughed, "Come out young prophecy come out my prophet!" Then Gollum walked over dramatically to Elrond they hugged and we gasped!
Gollum then yelled, "HA HA I was traitor I took your ring, and now I shall kill Herbert the Hobbit!"
Stay Tuned for Chapter 45 of Herbert The Hobbit!
