Chapter 54
Pure Morning
Bridgette sighed sleepily before opening her eyes; the first thing she became aware of was the man's body next to her, her head was leaning against his muscular chest. Her heart started to pound faster and her body tensed, for a moment she thought that the man was Duke William.
"Hey, hey," Elijah's calming voice said. "It's alright, you are safe."
Her muscles began to relax when she heard his voice; his hand was stroking her scarred back. She wasn't ready to face him yet; she needed to gather her thoughts first. The room was dark and quiet; it seemed that the sun hadn't risen yet, but she guessed that it was almost morning. There were still few candles burning, offering some faint light. His arms were tightly around her, he had actually held her the whole night. The thought confused her; no man had ever wanted to hold her after the act, why would they. Why had he?
"Do you want me to…move?" she muttered. "Are you uncomfortable?"
"Far from it," he replied and touched the top of her head with his lips. His tenderness felt foreign to her, she had enjoyed their night together, but she hadn't thought that he would want anything else, he had already bedded her. Wasn't that all what men wanted?
"What is wrong?" he asked and pulled away, gently touching her cheek.
She blinked few times nervously, she felt ridiculous.
"I am sorry," she muttered. "I just… I do not know what I am supposed to do now."
The funny thing was that she honestly didn't know; the whole situation was completely new and foreign to her, she had no idea what he expected of her. He smiled.
"What would you like to do?"
"I… do not know."
They were both quiet for a moment; he bit his bottom lip before finally speaking.
"Do you regret what happened between us?"
She shook her head.
"No, no… It was…beautiful."
He raised his eyebrows.
"Beautiful?"
She blushed and avoided looking at him.
"Yes. I always thought…it was supposed to be painful and humiliating."
"Did I cause you pain?" he asked immediately, his voice was tense.
"No, you didn't. Thank you."
She felt completely exposed and the feeling wasn't very pleasant, a part of her worried that he would somehow use it against her. He had said that he loved her, but maybe to him that had been merely a polite thing to say. Clearly he had really wanted to bed her, as strange as that was; she couldn't understand how she had missed that. She had assumed that he only saw her as a tool, not as someone who he would want in his bed. He didn't seem like a man who would use prostitutes; she had assumed that he saw himself as too good for women like that.
"You really do not have to thank me," he said. "I am happy you allowed me to make love to you."
Make love? She had heard the term, but she had never understood it, not before being with him. He had been kind and tender; that had been something she had never experienced before. But what would happen now?
"What are you thinking?" he asked, twirling her red curl around his finger.
She hesitated before looking up; she was so far from her comfort zone.
"I…I was wondering what happens now? I mean… Do we continue like before or…"
"Or what?" he asked gently.
She was blushing again, as ridiculous as that was. Could she be any more pathetic?
"Or do you want to…make love again?" she managed to ask. "I am not expecting that you would," she added quickly. "I was just…wondering."
He smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Yes, Bridgette, I would like to make love to you again, if I have your consent."
"You mean…that you want me to be your real mistress?"
He shook his head.
"No, I want you to be more than that. I would like to court you, talk with you and learn everything about you. I want you to be my woman."
"Oh…" she muttered, his words had surprised her. "I… I have never…"
"I know," he said gently. "And I want you to know that I won't do anything without your consent, we can proceed as slow as you want. Will you give me a chance?"
She looked at him insecurely, still wondering if he was serious. It was very difficult for her to believe that anyone could want more than just use her body.
"I suppose so," she muttered. "But you will have to teach me what I have to do, I have no idea."
"How about we start with something easy?" he suggested smiling. "Tell me something about yourself."
"Alright, like what?"
"Anything."
She thought about it for a moment, wondering what kind of things he would want to hear.
"I…like cats," she said cautiously, trying to interpret was that what he had meant.
"Really?" he said encouragingly. "Have you ever had a cat?"
She nodded.
"Yes, I was maybe 7 or 8 when I found this skinny little kitten. He was almost dead, but I took him to my nook and nursed him back to health. I named him Murray."
The memory made her smile, she had never told anyone about it.
"Did you have him for a long time?"
Her smile vanished.
"I couldn't hide him from my mother; she caught him and drowned him. According to her she did me a favor; a whore couldn't afford to become fond of anything."
Elijah's expression tensed, his fingers were stroking her shoulder.
"Did your mother… Did she force you to…"
"It was not that simple," she muttered. "My mother owed a lot of money to the man who owned the brothel; she couldn't have paid her debt alone, no matter how many clients she would have had. I owed him too because I ate his food and I had a roof over my head, so after I turned 12, he arranged an auction."
Bridgette had to struggle in order to keep her voice steady.
"The man who won was in his late forties, he was… a monster. At least so I felt."
Elijah gritted his teeth.
"I am so sorry."
She shook her head.
"It's fine, water under the bridge and so on."
"No, it is not fine," he said tensely. "I cannot imagine what you have been through, but I swear that I will never let anyone to hurt you again."
His tone was full of determination; it sounded that he really meant what he said. Yet she was cautious, that was simply how her mind worked. Nothing was free, that was one of the first things she had learned as a child.
"Thank you, but you really don't have to…"
"I do not expect anything in return," he said, like he would know what she had been thinking. "You are not obliged to do anything you do not want to do; I only wish to get to know you. Is that alright?"
She hesitated before nodding.
"Yes, I…"
She leaned towards him and gave him a light kiss. He seemed a little surprised.
"I wanted to do that," she muttered and leaned her head on his chest. "You feel… nice."
He laughed and wrapped his arms around her.
"Thank you; I can certainly say the same thing about you. You are beautiful."
"I have scars…" she muttered.
"You are beautiful," he repeated firmly and caressed her back. "Every part of you."
I couldn't believe that I had actually fallen asleep, but apparently my exhaustion had finally got the best of me. The pain had been devastating, but I hadn't cried, not in front of Kol. I felt that I had lost my sister, at least the sister I had known before she had left to England. That sister would have never tried to take my free will away. In a way that was even worse than the deal she had made with Kol.
I would never give myself to him, not willingly. Of course it was possible that he wouldn't care was I willing or not, maybe he wanted to take the only thing he hadn't taken from me yet. Despite of all of these thoughts, I had finally fallen asleep and thankfully I hadn't had any dreams. Yet I didn't feel rested when I blinked my eyes sleepily. The carriage was still moving, I could see that it was morning already.
"Good morning, darling," Kol's voice said.
I didn't say anything; I simply got into a sitting position and moved the dark curtains in order to see outside. It was an early morning; the first sunrays hit my face, making me to close my eyes for a moment. When my eyes got used to the light, I tried again. All I saw was fields as far as the eye could see.
"Did you sleep well?" Kol asked.
I crossed my arms and ignored him; I wasn't going to talk to him.
"Are you hungry?"
Like he would care, all I was to him was some kind of toy. I gritted my teeth and kept staring outside through the window.
"A silent treatment? Really, darling?"
He sounded amused, which made me even angrier. Bastard… At least he kept his distance and didn't try to approach me.
"Fine, I like a woman who knows her place, keeps her mouth shut and looks pretty."
I glared at him furiously, he was grinning.
"Bastard," I hissed.
His grin grew even wider.
"She speaks. I just thought you might want to know that we will stop soon in order for you to eat and clean yourself up."
"Where are we?" I asked reluctantly.
"On our way to the coast," he replied. "There is a ship waiting for us there."
"What do you want from me?" I asked tensely.
"I told you, you belong to me and you owe me for saving you…"
"I did not ask to be saved!"
He raised his eyebrows.
"You enjoyed being my brother's property?"
"Better his than yours," I snapped.
His eyes narrowed.
"I see. Unfortunately for you, I do not care about your opinion."
"What a surprise…" I muttered.
"I would not test my patience too much if I were you," he stated callously. "Don't make this more difficult for yourself that it has to be."
I snorted and turned my head away, I was done talking to him. If I would have been alone, I would have probably cried, but I wasn't going to do it here. Katerina was gone and I would likely never see Bridgette again. All I had left was myself and an unstable vampire who was planning to do Lord knew what to me. My life was just getting better and better.
