Disclaimer: When this cord is drawn it will reveal to all that I don't own Phil of the Future. Darn.

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Pickford Lawn Ornaments 'R' Us? This is your mayor. What in the Friar Fred have you done? Practically the entire town is here and all these registered voters were expecting their favorite famous friendly friar ... and you delivered Phil Diffy? Did you think no one would notice the Diffy-ence? Gadzooks! This is a tragedy! This is an outrage! Don't you comprehend what you've done? You've cost me the election! You, you ... it was former Mayor Percy, wasn't it? Yeah, he got to you. I always knew he was a poor loser, but I never even thought he would stoop so low as to resort to Diffy-fying our town monument. I promise you both, there will be an investigation. Heads will roll, names will be taken, and I -- I mean, "Friar Fred," will be avenged! KIDS! KIDS! CLIMB DOWN OFF THAT STATUE! IT'S GOING BACK AND IT'S NOT PAID FOR. (Sigh) You will deliver our flagstoned friar in exchange for this petrified picture of teenagerness in thirty minutes or less -- while the reporters are still here, or I'll be sending these news hounds in your direction next. Yeah, try stonewalling the Fifth Estate, you chiseler. It's now 9:15; you have 29 minutes and counting or our statue is "free."

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