AN: Sorry for the long time between posts. I'm finishing up the semester, getting ready for finals, so not a lot of time for writing. As always please leave your reviews and comments and any suggestions for what'd you like to see in the story. I read them all and very much appreciate the feedback.
Chapter 55: Disappointments
"I love you" she whispered.
"I love you too". Their lips connected again and Olivia pulled Rae into her lap. Rae wrapped her legs around Olivia's waist. They had completely forgotten about the desert and champagne on the table and were making out like teenagers. Olivia used her position to maneuver them into a different position. Rae was on her back and she settled between her legs. Rae smiled into their kiss.
"So you….still…like being on top?" she asked between kisses. Olivia laughed but didn't break their kiss to answer. She let her hands roam all over Rae's body before slipping into her shirt. She pushed up her bra up and palmed her breast as she grinded into her. Her lips finally left Rae's and traveled down to her neck over the spot that drove her crazy. Olivia's received the response that she was looking for when Rae moaned softly into her ear. Olivia's kisses continued down. She pushed up her shirt and bra and placed gentle kisses on her chest, over her breasts. Rae ran her hands through Olivia's hair as her lips and tongue caressed her breasts. She continued down and started to undo Rae's jeans when she felt Rae's hand surround her own. "Wait?" Olivia groaned quietly and scoot back up her body until they were face to face.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I just…Noah's sleeping" she whispered.
"Still not good at volume control, huh?" Rae laughed. "What is it really?" Olivia asked knowing that she didn't want to stop because of Noah.
"This just isn't really what I had in mind" she said playing with Olivia's hair, "for our first time" she added.
"This is hardly our first time".
"You know what I mean".
"Well, I think it's quite the romantic set up" Olivia said looking at the table. "We have candles and champagne and chocolate covered strawberries".
"And a couch and Noah's toys allover" she adding to her list. "You're right. This set up couldn't be more romantic" she said with a smirk.
"Ok" Olivia said sitting up. Rae sat up, pulled her shirt down and fixed her hair.
"Don't be mad".
"I'm not mad" Olivia said quickly. She picked up her champagne glass and took a drink. Rae had another chocolate covered strawberry before finishing the champagne in her glass and pouring another. "So what about your mother?" Olivia asked before taking another sip of champagne.
"Oh, she's gonna be fine" Rae said nonchalantly.
"No, I mean…you said Jimmy wants to meet Noah. What about your mother?"
"Oh, uh, she, you know, she didn't say she wanted to meet him" she stammered. "But she didn't say she didn't want to meet him either" she quickly added.
"You haven't told her have you? You haven't told her about Noah?" Rae hesitated a little before answering.
"Well, I, um…." Olivia set her glass down on the table, got up from the couch and started to walk away. "Where are you going?" she called after her.
"I'm tired. I'm going to bed" she said going into the bedroom. Rae sighed then drank down her second glass of champagne. She put the strawberries, brownies and champagne in the refrigerator then went into the bedroom. She heard the water in the bathroom so she went over and tried to open the door. It was unlocked so she went inside and shut the door behind her. Liv was at the sink brushing her teeth. She went over and stood next to her.
"You're angry?" she asked.
"Yeah. I'm angry" Olivia said looking over at her. She rinsed her mouth and turned off the water. "Why haven't you told your mother about us? About Noah?"
"Because she just, she has a lot going on…."
"Which you only found out about a few days ago" she said folding her arms over her chest. "You've known about Noah for months".
"I know that and I…."
"Does she know we're back together?" she asked interrupting her. "Or at least that we've been working on getting back together?" Rae looked down at the floor and didn't say anything. "No, she doesn't" Olivia answered for her. "Why haven't you told her?" she asked again. Rae shrugged her shoulders. "Jimmy knows but your mother doesn't, so what, you told him not to tell her? Are you ashamed of us?"
"No" Rae said offended by the suggestion. "You know that's not true".
"Then what is it? It's because she hates me" she stated more than asked.
"She doesn't hate you" Rae argued. "She's just…not you're biggest fan".
"And you didn't want her to sway your decision?"
"She's never swayed my decisions" she said firmly. "I just, I care about my mother and what she thinks and I know she won't like this. You know how my mother is and what she thinks about us, about me settling down so young. I just didn't want her giving me crap about it" she explained. "I didn't want to tell her until we made it official. I am going to tell her".
"What about this weekend?" Rae looked at her confused.
"What do you mean what about this weekend?"
"You said you'd talk to Jimmy about getting together this weekend so that he can meet Noah" she clarified, "so why don't we tell your mother then?"
"Olivia, now isn't really the best time. She's not really….stable right now".
"Wha…she's crazy?"
"No" Rae said with a laugh. "She's never really been alone before. She married my father really young and then he died. She met Charles two years later and she's been with him ever since. Now he's gone and she's just, she's a little out of sorts. She needs some time to adjust before I drop a bomb on her".
"It's only a bomb because you didn't her that we've been talking".
"Ok, yeah, it's my fault" she said annoyed. "I should've told her sooner but I didn't".
"And I don't think you should wait anymore". Rae let out heavy sigh. "I just don't think that waiting will make it any easier. It might actually make it worse. She'll want to know why you didn't tell her sooner".
"Ok" Rae said in defeat. "I'll…..we will tell her this weekend".
"Ok" Olivia said satisfied.
"Our second first argument" she said with a smirk. Olivia chuckled. "What was out first first argument about?"
"Uh, I don't remember" Olivia said closing the space between them. She wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close. Rae brought her arms up around Olivia's neck.
"I'm pretty sure it was something about Ashley" she said thinking back to how jealous Olivia was of her when they first started dating.
"Hmm…probably" Olivia chuckled.
"It'll be different this time" she said softly.
"Yes" Olivia nodded. She leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. "You sure you don't wanna go back in the living room and…." Rae playfully shoved Olivia away.
"Get outta here" she said laughing. Olivia laughed and left the bathroom. Rae brushed her teeth and washed her face then turned out the light and left the bathroom. She checked on Noah who was sleeping peacefully in his crib. She pulled his blanket higher over him then went over and joined Olivia in bed. "Liv" she whispered.
"Hmm?" she mumbled.
"Do you think this'll look bad?" she asked.
"What?" Olivia asked confused.
"Us together" she said, "Me being here".
"I don't know what you mean".
"I mean, the judge said that you can keep Noah but it's still on a trial basis. Would it look bad to her if your case worker doesn't think it's best for him for you to get into a serious relationship? Especially since she doesn't know me".
"I, uh, I don't know" she said honestly. "But we'll deal with it if it comes up. Don't worry about it right now, ok?"
"Ok". Olivia pulled her in close and she relaxed in her arms. She put everything out her mind and went to sleep.
The next day, Rae called Jimmy and asked what he'd be doing on Saturday. Olivia had the day off and, if he was free, they could bring Noah over to meet him. He said he'd clear his schedule just for them. The next call she made was to her mother. She asked if she was busy on Saturday. She said she wasn't. Rae told her not to make any plans because she'd be coming over to see her and Jimmy. Soraya sounded happy at the prospect of spending the day with her children. Rae hoped she reacted well to Olivia and Noah. The next couple of days went quickly and finally it was Saturday. Rae volunteered at the clinic that morning then went to Olivia's to get ready to go to her mother's. Olivia had already given Noah his bath so Rae took over getting him dressed so Liv could get in the shower. Rae got a call from her mother asking if she wanted her to cook. She thought for a moment about what would be best. Did she want to meet them at the restaurant and do introductions there, risk her mother getting upset and leaving? Or did she want to meet at the house, do introductions there and go out somewhere if it went well? She told her not to cook; that she'd meet her at the house and they'd decide on where to go out for lunch. Once Olivia came out of the bathroom and got dressed, she double checked Noah's bag to make sure they had everything and then headed out. They got Noah in his seat and were about to leave when Rae asked if they should take his stroller. They debated for a minute then decided to take it just in case so Rae ran back upstairs to grab it. She got it in the trunk of her car then they were finally ready to make the drive to her mother's house. They were a few minutes away, sitting at a stop light when Olivia looked over at her.
"Nervous?" she asked.
"Is it that obvious?" she asked with a nervous laugh.
"I don't think I've ever seen you hold onto the steering wheel so tight" she said reaching over and massaging her hand. Rae let go with one hand and intertwined their fingers. "It's gonna be okay". Olivia's confidence made her feel better. She looked over her shoulder at Noah in his seat chewing on his toy keys and laughed softly. She took a deep breath and relaxed in her seat.
"Yeah" she said softly. She brought Olivia's hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles. The light turned green and she continued the drive to her mother's house. They pulled into the driveway five minutes later and Rae took one last breath before turning off the engine and getting out of the car. She grabbed Noah's bag from the back seat while Olivia got Noah from his car seat. They walked up to the door together and Rae used her key to go inside. Jimmy was just coming out of his bedroom when they walked through the door. He got a big smile on his face when he saw them standing in the foyer. He came downstairs and walked quickly over to them and gave Rae a hug.
"Olivia" he said turning to her and giving her a hug.
"Hi Jimmy" she said returning his embrace.
"Look at you" he said looking at the three of them. "You're like a…little family" he said with a laugh.
"Well, Jimmy this is Noah" Rae said introducing him.
"Hi Noah". He held his hands up and looked at Olivia. "Can I?" he asked, wanting to hold him.
"Yeah, of course". She passed him over to Jimmy who happily took him.
"Hey buddy" he said bouncing him in his arms. He started walking to the living room. Rae smiled at how comfortable Jimmy was with Noah already. "Hey" he said again, "I'm your uncle". Rae looked at Olivia when Jimmy called himself Noah's uncle and saw a big smile on her face. She couldn't be happier. Then she remembered that she still had to, not only tell her mother that she and Olivia were back together, but introduce her to Noah.
"Uh, Jimmy" she said getting his attention. "Where's mom?"
"She's upstairs in her room" he said looking over his shoulder. He quickly returned his attention to Noah. She turned to Olivia.
"Do you think I should tell her before she comes down or…."
"That'd probably be best" she said with a nod. Rae took a deep breath then turned and headed for the stairs. Olivia joined Jimmy and Noah on the couch. Rae went upstairs and knocked on her mother's door.
"Mom, its Rae" she said from outside. Her mother called for her to come in so she opened the door and went inside. Soraya was in her closet in her pants and bra. "You're not ready yet?" Rae asked looking at her half-dressed mother.
"I got a stain on my shirt" she explained. "Now I can't decide which one to wear". She turned and looked at her daughter for the first time. "You look nice" she said with a smile.
"Thanks" she said simply. She walked into the closet and looked for a minute before pulling down a shirt. "Wear this one" she said handing it to her mom. Soraya took the shirt and removed it from the hanger and returned the hanger to its place then put the shirt on. Rae went out of the closet to wait for her mother. She came out of the closet a minute later with her shoes in her hand. She sat down on the bed to put them on. "So mom, um, I have something important to tell you".
"Uh oh" Soraya said looking up at her daughter, "What did you do?"
"What do you mean?"
"You have that look you get when you're afraid to tell me something you've done" she explained.
"I don't….have a look". Soraya nodded.
"Yes, you do" she said with a chuckle. "So what is it? What have you done?"
"It's nothing bad. It's good. It's a….good thing" she said hesitantly, knowing her mother might not agree. "Uh, Olivia and I, we worked things out. We're back together" she said bracing herself for her mother's reaction. Soraya didn't say anything. She just sat quietly on the bed not making eye contact with her daughter. Rae walked over and sat down next to her mother. "And, um," she continued, "well Liv, she's fostering a baby boy and he's great" she said happily. "He's a beautiful, happy, healthy boy. He's here. He's….he's downstairs. I want you to meet him".
"What are you saying?" Soraya asked, still not making any eye contact with her.
"I'm saying that Olivia and I are a couple again and she has a son. Noah, his name is Noah. We're together so I'm gonna be involved in Noah's life, in raising him; so I want you to meet him". Soraya shook her head. "Mom…."
"What are you thinking?" Soraya asked finally looking at her daughter.
"I'm thinking that I love her and…."
"Araeyah Aiyana Drisana Nikahd" she said calling her by her full name. She even used her father's last name which she hadn't been called by since she married Charles. "You have never been so foolish. That woman lied to you. She cheated on you. She ignored you for months. And now, not only are you with her again, you're considering raising a child with her?"
"I'm not considering, mom. I've decided" she said firmly. "Olivia and I are together and we are raising Noah together. Everything that happened before, that's done. We've moved on. We're starting over, a clean slate. Things are going great with us. We're happy together, the three of us. Why can't you be happy for me?" she asked sadly.
"Because you are throwing your life away for this woman" Soraya said angrily.
"I am not throwing my life away" Rae said offended.
"What are you going to have to give up to make this work, Araeyah?" she asked. "Do you really think you'll be able to continue with school, work, volunteering, the band, and have a family? I thought you were smarter. If your father were here to see this" she said shaking her head, "he would be so disappointed". Rae's breath hitched in her throat. Soraya knew she'd gone too far. She saw the look of hurt on her daughter's face. "Araeyah" she said starting to apologize.
"I can't believe you just said that to me" she said softly.
"Azizam" Soraya said, trying again to take back her hurtful words.
"I can't believe you would ever….say that to me". She got up and left her mother's bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She bounded angrily down the stairs over to the living room. She grabbed up Noah's bag and put it on her shoulder.
"Babe, what's going on?" Olivia asked.
"We're leaving" Rae said taking Noah from Jimmy. Soraya came out of her room and started down the stairs.
"Rae, what happened?" Jimmy asked seeing how upset she was.
"Liv, let's go" she said ignoring Jimmy. Olivia got up from the couch and followed Rae to the door. Soraya saw the child in Rae's arms she walked over them. He was a beautiful boy, just as Rae had described him.
"Araeyah" Soraya said walking closer to them.
"Don't" Rae said forcefully. "Don't talk to me". She handed Noah over to Olivia and turned to Jimmy. "We're leaving. If you still want to go to lunch then let's go" she said opening the door to leave. Jimmy looked back and forth between Rae and their mother. He didn't know what to do. He felt like if he stayed, then Rae would feel like he was taking their mother's side. But if he left, then their mother might think he was taking Rae's side. "Jimmy" Rae said rushing his decision.
"Araeyah please" Soraya said, "I'm sorry" she said apologizing. "I shouldn't have said what I said. I didn't mean to hurt you".
"He would not be disappointed" she said confidently. Soraya nodded.
"I know" she said softly. "I'm sorry. Please, don't leave". Rae shut the door and folded her arms over her chest.
"This is Noah" she said, not as enthusiastic as when she'd introduced Jimmy.
"He's lovely" she said a small smile. "Hello Olivia" she said finally acknowledging her.
"Hi Soraya" she said back.
"Are you coming to lunch with us?" Rae asked looking at her mother.
"Of course". Rae was skeptical about how this would go. Even though her mother had come down and apologized, she knew her opinion about her being with Olivia and helping her with Noah hadn't changed. She was just indulging them for her daughter's sake.
"Ok. So, uh, where should we go?"
"Olive Garden" Jimmy said liked he'd planned to suggest that all along. Rae laughed.
"Ok. Any objections?" she asked looking at Olivia and her mother. They both shook their heads. "Olive Garden it is". They left the house and headed to Olive Garden. Jimmy said he'd ride with their mom and try to talk some sense into her on the way. Rae wished him luck. They had an uneventful lunch at the restaurant. Soraya wasn't rude but she wasn't exactly warm and welcoming to Olivia, to Noah either. She barely said a word the entire two hours they were at the restaurant. She let Rae, Jimmy and Olivia do all the talking. When they left the restaurant, they went back to Soraya's and had desert. She had some zebra cake and akbar mashti ice cream in the freezer. Olivia let Noah have some ice cream and, of course, he liked it. He wasn't happy when she told him there was no more. They decided it was time for them to go. It was past time for Noah's nap and he was getting fussy. They said their good byes and headed back to Olivia's apartment. They put Noah down for his nap as soon as they got home then relaxed on the couch together.
"So your mom didn't take it well, huh?" Olivia asked, finally breaking the silence between them. Rae sat up from laying against her chest and turned to face her.
"No, she didn't" she answered.
"What did she say that made you so upset?" Rae sighed.
"She said that I'm throwing my life away and that if…." She cleared her throat, "if my father were here he would be disappointed in me" she said sadly. She couldn't help the emotion that came over her. All she wanted, more than most anything else, was to live her life in a way that would make her father proud. Her mother knew that. She knew just what to say to try to change Rae's decision. "I told her he wouldn't be but the truth is" she paused to compose herself, "the truth is, I don't know what he would think. I have no idea what he would say". She blinked back tears that had formed in her eyes. "I just wish there was some way I could ask him". Olivia knew what it was like to wonder about an absent father; to want to know if he cared about her, even if he was a horrible man. But she'd never known her father. She didn't know the feeling of having a loving relationship with her father and then losing him. "Knowing wouldn't change anything". She hoped Olivia didn't think she wanted to know what her father thought so she could know she made the right decision. "No matter what my father would think, I would still love you. I would still be with you". Olivia smiled. Rae moved forward and kissed her softly on the lips then settled back down in her lap. They drifted off to sleep together.
