Bunnies For Your Amusement (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: A bunch of cute and/or serious story ideas featuring my favorite Hetalia bros – America and Canada! May or may not be pairings depending on story. I guarantee all of these are, if not unique ideas, unique takes on ideas, so come check them out!

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: Random Shit, Bros Being Bros, Harry Potter X-over (Yes, I know, another, but trust me!)

Bunny: Well This Is Strange

~Soul-sucking ghosts, magic wielding school kids, and an escaped (and innocent) prisoner on the run? Alfred and Matthew really wish they hadn't gotten caught up in Arthur and Alasdair's fight and thrown here, because they were not predisposed to this sort of crazy.

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Alfred and Matthew hacked as the last of the dust and magical residue left their lungs, lungs heaving as they tried to assess their current situation.

"Don't see Arthur or Alasdair anywhere-" Alfred coughed into his hand. "You think their spells sent us somewhere?"

"Probably," Matthew replied, rubbing at his throat with a grimace. "We should try and see if we can find a place to get directions, or at least a roof over our heads, because it looks like it's gonna rain soon."

The American nodded, having also seen the stormclouds blowing in from the west, overtaking the setting sun. "Maybe we should try that castle over there? The lights are on, so there should be someone home."

HIs twin glanced over that way, frowning. "You mean the ruins?"

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "No, I mean the castle. I don't see any ruins here."

"Alfred, I think I can tell when there's a castle or not, and there is no castle."

"And why would I even lie about that? We're trying to find our way back to civilization!"

"I-" Matthew closed his eyes and groaned. "Please tell me some other logical reason we could be seeing two completely different things, then."

"Aliens?" Alfred offered.

"Aliens."

"Tony has the tech, and we know he likes fucking with Artie, so it's possible it's him or one of his buddies or something."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Neither of us are Arthur, so why would it affect us differently?"

"...I dunno," The American shrugged helplessly. "I'm just saying that that's what I think of first."

The northern Nation sighed after a bit. "Let's go check out your hidden alien castle then - at the least it might give us a high point to look from to see if there's anything we recognize."

Their trek onwards was halted several times when Matthew got distracted by seemingly trivial things and had to be drawn back to their current project, getting worse as they got closer until the American had to resort to holding his brother's hand to keep him focused, although whether the Canadian's ramblings over the current affairs of school in Nunavut counted as focused was debatable.

Eventually they hit a genuine sign of civilization, a train station with a few small old buildings but no people and no train. Alfred stepped forward, examining the tracks and finding to his relief they were in good condition, meaning this track was likely in service. "Hey, you think we could follow the tracks back to a city or something?"

"...way too cold, need to get a sweater…"

He sighed, really hoping that if there was an alien involved he could convince him to turn off the confusion array before his brother got too much woozier - this was almost as bad as when Mattie got drunk, only without the fun of taking video for blackmail later.

"Matt, it's colder at your place than it is here, and you already have a sweater." Alfred rolled his eyes, trying to look for a schedule posted anywhere but failing.

"Can't breathe," The Canadian shivered, drawing his brother's attention away from the task.

"Is something wrong? Shit did the spells mix wrong?" The American started to panic, checking out his twin's eyes and face and finding them glazed and pale respectively. Fuck fuck this wasn't good, and the temperature was dropping fast and everything was going to shit-

He looked up and paled as well, seeing cloaked figures floating towards them almost eagerly. Great, as if things couldn't get any worse, freaking weirdo ghosts had to start swooping in and ruining everything. There was only one thing to do in this instance, much as it galled his stand-and-fight tendencies.

In one smooth motion he'd scooped up his twin, shifting his stance so he was aimed at the short path up to the castle, and ran.

If this had been his own land, he could have easily managed the mile in half a minute, but even with the limitation his strength and endurance let him reach the doors in just under three, using the force of his sprint to slam into the doors and knock them open before stumbling inside and dropping his brother to the floor. Heaving from the adrenaline, he turned back to the doors, slamming them shut just before rain started to fall outside.

"Fucking ghosts… fucking rain… fucking dumbass confusion arrays…" Alfred groaned as he slid down to his knees, taking a second to breathe before glancing back to see if his brother was okay. Hopefully whoever was here wouldn't mind the intruders, because he was not going back out there tonight if he could help it.

Matthew was still a bit catatonic, whether from the array or the ghosts or whatever else, but other than that completely unharmed. Sighing in relief, he picked himself up and walked over, picking his brother up carefully just as he finally heard people run up.

"Hey guys, can we get a little help here? My bro and I were attacked by evil ghosts and we really need a place to rest and maybe some directions."

He blinked at the several sticks aimed at him, wondering what exactly was going on before an extremely old man strode in, more garishly dressed than his people in the seventies. "Who are you?"

"Alfred F. Jones, and my brother Matthew." Alfred looked around, starting to piece a few things together and realizing his brother and uncle had sent them more than just a few miles out into the middle of nowhere.

"I see," The old man (was he actually-) replied. "And what brought you all the way here to the castle?"

"Well," He decided to skim the truth, figuring it was an easy story to follow. "My older brother and uncle got into a fight and started throwing spells around, and they detonated and sent us here to the middle of nowhere, and since we saw the castle we figured we'd come here for directions, only we got attacked by those freaky ghost thingies and Matt's sorta not taking it and whatever confusion array thingy you guys have around here all that well."

The sallow man to the right snorted, muttering something along the lines of "that sounds likely" while the older man evaluated Alfred carefully. Refusing to be cowed, Alfred straightened, matching the look with one of his own, still holding his brother close just in case he needed to make another break for it.

"Take them to the hospital wing," The old man eventually granted, glancing to the others before turning back to him. "Dementor exposure isn't pleasant even in short amounts, and is best treated as soon as possible."

Well, if that didn't confirm it, nothing would, but there was no way out right now, so Alfred set his shoulders and followed the others straight on into a world of madness… and magic.

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AN: To be fully honest, this was supposed to be a canon v fanon thing poking fun at all the HP x-overs with basically the same plot of 'they came to bodyguard Harry in 3rd / 5th year', which can be done right but also gets boring fast. But instead of right in the middle I started at the beginning, and then it bloomed into a full story and I still hate myself for it just a bit.

So instead I propose this idea – what if instead of it all being in-universe, Al and Matt came from a different one, and the Hpverse doesn't have them (otherwise they'd be EASY targets for magic users). In addition, they really did get there by accident, didn't know where they were until they were literally in the castle with no escape, and have indeed read the books / seen the movies?

Not to mention, in this version, Al and Matt inherited their respective parental figures magics – aka Alfred does have magic but isn't interested in using it aside from warding off creepy soul sucking ghosts, and Matthew doesn't have any so he's not exactly on the fast track to learning it either. And no, they aren't going to sub in as teachers or students – they're literally just passerby who ended up at the castle and would really like to get home soon.

(Of course, I'll have to decide how easy I make that, as that determines the length of the fic.

Also, yes, if it wasn't obvious, this was the day/night before that third year Quiddich match where Harry falls because the Dementors attack. Which would make for an interesting second or third chapter whatever way you go.)