A/N: Thank you Crazyforkasey, ablesierra and queenie for your reviews! I'm love seeing your names in my inbox!

Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! Reviews make for happier days!


I didn't go to the award ceremony. Instead, I stayed in my barracks alone, thinking about the events that had led up to this moment in time. I knew that I wouldn't be able to avoid these sorts of ceremonies forever, but I couldn't get past the fact that we had lost so many men and they had been replaced with kids.

Word spread among the camp that everyone was ordered to attend a special vigil for the fallen. There was no getting out of this one. I had to go. Several men were upset about this vigil falling on Sunday which was a day set aside for the men, mostly replacements, to do as they pleased.

I dressed in my new clean uniform and started to walk towards the building that would hold everyone for this event. Men around me began to complain about the ceremony.

"I'll honor the dead on any other day...Saturday or all day Monday, but I shouldn't have to do this on my own time! I had plans!" one man complained.

His friend replied, "Yet, here you are. So, shut up!"

"Of course I'm here...it was an order to be here!" he retorted.

I drowned them out. I understood what he was upset about, but I didn't understand why he couldn't just let go one Sunday...but then again, it could be his last Sunday too.

We filed into the building. It was crowded already and finding space to sit, let alone stand was difficult. I found a small spot in the corner and stood there.

As the men filled the room, I watched them carefully. A lot of the men were showing signs of being worn by war, while the others were clearly replacements as they looked wide eyed and eager to go to the lines.

Suddenly, my eyes caught Lieutenant Speirs entering the room. I swallowed, hoping he wouldn't see me. When he stood on the opposite side of the room, I relaxed a little.

I studied him from my corner. He didn't look around the room. He didn't even talk to the men standing near him. He just was.

It wasn't long until the room was packed full of men. There was barely enough room to move about if you had to leave, let alone room to breathe.

The officers from Battalion, including Colonel Sink appeared before us on a makeshift stage with a podium. Sink looked over the room, clearly pleased with the outcome, even though it was required that we be there.

"Men!" he shouted to get the attention of the room. Everyone quieted down.

Sink continued, "I want to start off by saying how damned proud of you I am. You're fine soldiers, the best this army as ever seen. I know that this is the last place you want to be on such a day as this, listening to me read off a piece of paper, but I commend each and every one of you for showing up and honoring our friends and brothers in arms."

I glanced around the room. A lot of men who had complained earlier looked ashamed. The replacements still looked slightly annoyed to be there, but they didn't mutter any complaints.

Sink stated, "As I read the names today, I want you to remember how brave they were and remember that this is only the beginning. We have suffered the highest casualties since D-Day. I am hoping that by hearing the names of the fallen, we will rise above this and give those Krauts hell!"

Cheers erupted within the room. I sighed, feeling even more uncomfortable in my corner. I knew that Sink was trying to raise the morale for the day, but it was only delaying the inevitable, which was to hear the names of the deceased.

Sink began, "There are 414 names on this list."

I felt a lump in my throat. I knew that the list was long, just from remembering my list that I kept, but I had no idea it was this bad. My heart sped up thinking about all of the names that I would most likely know and I wasn't sure how I would handle it.

Sink had started to read off his list. With each name that was said, if a man knew the deceased, they gasped out in surprise. Some cried, some had to have help to keep standing, and others just checked out mentally. It was hard to watch.

Sink continued to read the names. "Lerner, Oswald."

I let out a gasp involuntarily. I wasn't sure if I had heard the name correctly. The men around me had given me a look by my sudden gasp. I blinked a few times, trying to remember if I really heard the name.

I whispered to the man next to me, "What was that name again?"
"Which one?" he asked.

I realized that he needed clarification as Sink hadn't stopped reading. "Did he say, Lerner?"

"Yeah, Oswald Lerner," the man replied. "Do you know him?"

"A long time ago, I did," I managed to say. I felt the room spinning. I could feel my heart beating so fast, I was afraid of passing out in the middle of the room. My body started to shake and the bile was threatening to rise. I knew that I had to get out of that room and fast.

I started to push past the men who had crowded in around me. With each man that I passed, I heard the worried whispered, "Are you all right, Emmeline?"

I ignored them and continued towards the door. Once I reached it, I bolted out into the fresh air, but I didn't stop walking.

I reached the next building several yards away when my knees finally buckled from under me. I collapsed next to the building. The bile decided to make it's appearance and I threw up.

I coughed a couple of times, allowing the nerves to take over my body. Once I finished getting sick, I waited hunched over. I spit the taste from my mouth and shakily started to stand up with the help of the building.

Standing on my unstable legs, I turned around only to be face to face with Webster.

"Are you all right, Em?" he asked, clearly worried.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks."

He gave me that 'I don't believe you' look. "What happened in there?"

"I'm just overwhelmed by all of the names, that's all," I replied. I knew that he wouldn't believe me, but I hoped he would and that he would drop it.

He said, "Emmeline, you reacted pretty strongly to one of the names."

"I thought it was a name of someone I knew. It wasn't," I lied.

He studied my face. "If you say so."

I didn't say anything, nor did I make a move to walk back to the building. He asked, " Shall we head back in?"

I replied, "I need a moment first. I'll catch up."

He continued to look at me with worried eyes, but turned and left me by myself.

Once he was back in the building, I headed to my barracks. I needed to write to Darla. It couldn't wait. I knew that I wouldn't be missed in the memorial ceremony, as I'm sure they couldn't see me in my corner as it was. I needed to get this out sooner rather than later.

I entered my barracks and pulled out the notebook and began to write to Darla.

Dear Darla,

I need to tell you something. I just left the memorial service for the dead to write this. Granted, there was a good reason that I left. I heard a name that I know and it's not from training.

The name is from my past. I fear that running away from my past hasn't freed me from the binds that held me there. What worries me more than knowing that there was one of them here is the possibility that the others are here as well.

I know you may think that it has nothing to do with me, that they are just serving their country, but I know them better than that. They must have known that I had volunteered.

Darla, I am scared. For the first time since being here, I fear that I may not make it home. If they are here looking for me, if they find me-...

I need to calm down. I know that I need to just calm down. The chances of being found by them are slim...at least that is my hope.

I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I never explained why I am concerned.

Do you remember when I told you about the place that I grew up? Well, the man who ran that home after his mother died - God rest her soul - was only one of six brothers. They were all evil, some more than others.

The name of the deceased brother was Oswald Lerner. He was the youngest of all of them. He wasn't the worst either. At one point, I honestly think that he tried to help us, but something changed in him. I don't know if he was punished for trying to help us girls, or what, but he was never the same after that.

I was the one who got away, Darla. If they are here, then they have one motive and it's not to kill the Germans. It's to kill me. I know that I sound paranoid, but I needed to tell you anyways.

Pray that I never have to find those men in my travels! Pray that I live to see you and the girls again! I love you!

Emmeline

A knock on the door startled me so much that I dropped my notebook and pencil. I stared at the door. "Just a moment!"

I picked up the items that fell and quickly stashed them back into my pack for safe keeping. I didn't want anyone to find that bit of information about me or the Lerners. I needed to figure out a way to get that letter mailed off to Darla without someone peeking a look. That would be a challenge in itself.

I walked over to the door of my barracks and opened the door. Standing before me was Lieutenant Speirs.

"Lieutenant...sir?" I asked. I felt uncomfortable as I knew that I was going to get in trouble for not going back to the memorial service, which was most likely over by now.

He met my gaze. For a moment, I could see a hint of worry behind his dark eyes. The more that I studied his eyes, that hint of worry disappeared.

He asked, "What happened this afternoon, Nurse Banks?"

I braced myself for the change of personality that he was notorious for. I replied simply, "I was overwhelmed by the number of dead, sir."

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. "And the real reason, Nurse Banks?"

"That is the real reason," I stated, trying to sound firm.

"Nurse Banks, you're lying. You're a terrible liar, always have been," he stated.

Before I could retort, he asked, "Who is Oswald Lerner?"

There was no hiding the reaction that my body involuntarily did by just the mention of the name. My own body had betrayed me and there was no getting away with avoiding the question.

Graciously, he held back his smirk. He waited for my answer.

"He's someone I used to know," I replied.

He studied my face before asking, "Is he the reason you moved about a lot?"

I sighed. "One of them."

He nodded as he took in what I was saying. "How many others are there?"

"Other reasons?" I asked confused.

"I assume by your words that he had brothers," Speirs stated, connecting the dots easily.

I bit my lip. "Yes. He has brothers...had..."

He waited for me to continue. When I wouldn't say anything more on the matter, he nodded and started to walk away from me.

"That's it?" I asked, surprised.

He stopped and turned to look at me once more. "What did you expect, Nurse Banks?"
I bit my lip again before pointing out, "You usually badger me with questions until you get every detail...every answer...You usually frustrate me before you leave..."

"You want me to frustrate you?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

"That's not what I meant! I meant-" I started to say.

He cut me off, "I've gotten everything that I needed to know from you, Nurse Banks. Sorry that I didn't...frustrate you before leaving."

I watched as he turned and walked away from me. This time, I didn't stop him.