The next morning, Lena awoke to the sound of the shower and a clean warm mist drifting into the bedroom, and it smelled like citrus musk. She rolled onto her back and took a deep breath-it was going to be a while before she could breathe easy again that day: class, work, and maybe hospital if Tommy would let her join him at Paddy's side.
She got up and started the coffee, then drifted into the bathroom to hear Tommy humming something off key. She smiled to herself, and then pulled the shower curtain back to see his bare back with suds and hot water running down it, and she was agape for a moment-he was pure physical perfection, and he was in her bathroom, and he was all hers.
Tommy turned and caught her peeking at him, and a naughty smile curled his mouth up.
"Really Lena?" He shook his head, then threw it back to rinse the rest of the shampoo out of his hair. "Fuckin' perv."
"Hey, it's not every day I have a fine-ass motherfucker in my shower, so kill me if I check you out." She got in with him and he was laughing softly.
"Nah, ain't gonna kill ya. I like it." He fixed his eyes on her and growled softly. "You sure you wanna be in here?"
She looked alarmed. "Uh, yeah. I think so."
"Well see, you're in trouble." His big hands were squeezing on her upper arms and he was guiding her away from the spray of water and against the tile wall. "What should I do about you peepin' on me, hmm?"
Lena smiled, but sure enough he made her tingle with uncertainty as he stared her down-her back was against the wet tile and she shivered uncontrollably. Tommy could intimidate with just a look, and she giggled nervously in his clutches.
"What do you think is fair?" She slid her legs around his and felt herself lifted and pinned between his firm body and the shower wall.
"Hmmmm." Tommy just growled, and she could feel him throbbing and sliding against her, trying to get inside. She grabbed his hair at the back of his neck and pulled just enough to elicit a reaction. "Oh you fucked up now," he huffed and he thrusted into her with his full weight, making her gasp and cry out as she was roughly filled with him, her hands gripping his shoulders tight as she looked down into his intense expression, war and sex and love and hunger burning in his dark aquamarine eyes, his cheeks high with color and his lips pinkish-red with the heat of the shower.
"Goddamn Tommy you're unreal," she gasped, and he was almost hurting her with his rapid-fire thrusts. It was so easy to get lost in sensation with him, easy to lose herself in him-she just let go, and he dragged her off into another world of ecstasy and flooding multi-colored waves of electric heat.
"Look at me," he rasped in a commanding tone. Her eyes flew open and she looked down into his eyes as he rocked her deep and hard. "My life is yours."
"Tommy-"
"Nothing I want more than you," he said, his voice hitching with building intensity. "Marry you…I wanna put a baby in there…" His cock dug around inside her and she was going insane with the approaching orgasm.
"Tommy!" Lena was clamping down on him and coming hard, her nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders.
"Ah that hurts," he whispered and he was coming too, stumbling into her as he cried out softly, shuddering and filling her with the silky heat of his body. "Always my girl…"
"Always…"Lena kissed the top of his head as he struggled to breathe, his cheek pressed to her chest. "As long as we both live…"
Tommy stayed quiet, just rested against her and sighed. Her legs were starting to cramp but she didn't want to let him go, not yet.
"No matter what?" he asked quietly.
"No matter what," she said, wondering why he even had to ask, and her knee-jerk reaction was humor. "I mean unless you clip your toenails in bed or somethin', I can't put up with that."
Tommy heard the smile in her voice, but when he looked at her he looked stone cold. "I'm serious. After Sparta, win or lose you and I are gonna do this. I ain't lettin' you go, not ever."
Lena wasn't smiling anymore. Looking into his darkening eyes she felt that uncertainty creeping up again, this time unwelcomed.
"Do I have a choice?"
Tommy looked as if he had been slapped. "Yeah. You can walk away any time. I never will."
She looked puzzled and Tommy's mood was swinging like a wrecking ball. Her feet were flat on the shower floor and she couldn't remember how or when that had happened. Without another word he exited the shower and left her there with the hot water running out. She quickly did what she had to and got out, deciding that she wouldn't say anything to him either. She found him in the kitchen, faded blue jeans snug on him and a dark grey tee barely covering his massive tatted arms. He looked her over the way that only he could, condescending, scathing almost. She couldn't figure out what his problem was, but she wasn't going to light into him if he was looking for a fight. She stood on the other side of the kitchen and looked at him blankly.
"You want some coffee?" But he didn't ask, just mumbled, and started pouring them both a cup, then dumped some sugar in hers before handing it her. His face was still a mask of irritation.
"Thanks." She sipped hers and looked at him again, watched him drink and couldn't help but notice how small the mug looked in his hand. "Why are you upset, Tommy?"
"Not upset." He almost hiding behind his cup now, peering at her with his stormy gaze. Lena shook her head.
"Are you gonna talk to me?"
"What am I doin' right now?"
"Looking pissed. I don't know what I did."
This time Tommy shook his head. "Ya didn't do anything. Awright? You just…always seem like you're one foot out the door."
"No, I'm not-"
"Yeah you are, you're lookin' for the exit sign, like you're ready to bail."
"No I'm not, Tommy! Jesus how can you say that?" She looked at him, tried to catch his eyes but he looked everywhere else, not at her. "I don't understand how you can say that."
"Well it's true, I mean every time I say anything about us you clam up or make jokes, so what else am I supposed to think-"
She hated his tone, it was almost demeaning. Now she was furious, but she tried so very hard to keep a lid on it.
"Listen to me. I don't have to explain myself or defend myself to you when your argument is invalid. You didn't want us to be together, we weren't. You decided you wanted to be together, we were. You wanted to move in together, we have. Everything has been your call, Tommy, I agree because I want it too. What do you want me to do, start sending invitations? We can't even set a date yet!"
"That's not what I'm talkin' about and you know it. You're scared, and I don't know if it's me, or what." Lena started to answer, talk over his muted deep voice, but he cut her off. "I had to get through a lot on my own. I know fear."
"Yeah I'm scared, it's a big decision. And I wonder where you'll be ten years from now, where will I be, what's gonna happen-"
"Don't waste another minute on that," Tommy barked. "Anything can happen, today…tomorrow…fuck your ten years. Who knows about any of it. That's why I'm kinda in a hurry, Lena. Already told you-" He took the coffee out of her hand and slammed it on the counter, rushing her, pushing against her, holding her face to kiss her. "-I don't wanna to lose you."
Lena broke from his kiss and fought against him a little to free herself. "And I told you, you won't. Getting pissed at me won't help. You know I'm yours, Tommy, you know that!"
He stared down at her and she could see the conversation was over. His eyes were misting over and his lips were parted, his breath was quickening. He pulled her wet hair back from her face and wrapped his thick arms around her, locking her up against him to drag her off to the bedroom.
"Show me," he huffed.