Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series.
Chapter Fifty-Five
Remus Lupin IV
When Sirius and Peter frantically told him that James was with Lily, Remus thought nothing of it. There wasn't anything to worry about, after all. Time and time again, James had proved how much he loved Hermione. Lily clearly didn't stand a chance. Even when Sirius told him about what he heard in their conversation in the locker room, about accusing Hermione of using a love potion on James, he still didn't see the reason why Sirius and Peter made such a big deal about it.
It had surprised him, however, when Peter revealed about the confrontation between Lily and Hermione that Mary had shared to him just the other day. He had never thought that Lily would say such a thing like that. She was normally such a nice person, standing up for Snape against them and helping the first years all the time. He couldn't connect the Lily they were talking about to the Lily he knew.
He had assumed that Lily would be bitter because James had moved on from her, probably still adjusting to the fact that no one was pestering her for her attention, but threatening Hermione that James would leave her? He couldn't believe it. It seemed so out of character of her.
"Are you sure that Mary wasn't making that up?" Remus asked sceptically. "I meant no offence, Peter, but Mary and Lily did just have a falling out. Mary could be feeling resentful at her."
Peter shook his head. "No, Mary told me the confrontation between them because she wanted to be honest with me and because she was worried about Hermione," he told him. "It makes no sense that she wanted to tell me because she wanted to ruin Lily's reputation if those are her reasons to me."
"That's right. Moony, we're telling you. Something is up with Evans," said Sirius, still looking worried. "She has something planned, I just know it. James is vulnerable right now because he thinks we don't care about his birthday and he's sad. That's the perfect time for Lily to distract James and do something to him."
"Then I'll go to Hermione—"
"No!" Both Sirius and Peter exclaimed.
"Hermione, can't know about this, Moony!" Sirius proclaimed, grabbing his shoulder.
"Why not?" Remus didn't understand. Didn't she deserve out of all of them to know that her boyfriend was with an old flame of his?
Sirius licked his lips, looking frustrated. "Because Hermione didn't believe Lily when she warned him. And, man, if what Mary told Peter is the truth, I'm not saying that it isn't, Hermione will be crushed when she finds out about this."
Remus sighed, knowing that he has a point despite that he didn't believe him. "Fine, fine. I'll go to the library. But I'm telling you. James and Lily are old news. I'm sure that you have nothing to worry about."
He left the Come and Go Room, confident that he was right.
That's why he hadn't expected the scene that he had witnessed in the library.
James and Lily.
They were talking.
He smiled inwardly, glad — and relieved — that he was right. He was about to come to them when he accidentally bumped onto a table. The towering books toppled on the floor. He cringed and looked up.
What he had witnessed chilled him.
They were talking.
And then—
Lily went on her toes and kissed him.
And James didn't move to push her away.
Remus didn't even have to think about his actions. He just found himself pulling James away from Lily and then proceeding to slam him against the wall with his arm under his chin and pressed against his neck. Remus ignored Lily's scream as he snarled at James, the sound resembled so much of a wolf's that it should've normally worried him, however, he was far too gone to care right now. The anger that always simmered inside of him and fought to control of ever since he was bitten into a werewolf had snapped from its tight leash and boiled over to the surface.
"How. Dare. You." His voice was low and deep as his amber eyes flashed. "How dare you betray Hermione!"
"Moony—" James choked out. "Moony— w-wait—"
"Remus!" Lily screeched. "What are you doing?!"
"Shut up, you lil' bitch," Remus snapped over his shoulder and ignored her again when she gaped at him. He craned his neck to James, growling under his breath. "Do you know what you have done? Do you know what you have done, James?!"
Remus had the sense to break away from him before he could do some lasting damage. James slumped against the wall, coughing violently and breathing heavily. Remus continued glaring at him, feeling his whole body trembling because of repressed anger.
"M-Moony," he rasped, "i-it's not w-what y-you think. It's n-not what i-it looks l-like!"
"What was it supposed to look like, James?!" He barked out, not even thinking about Madame Pince, who must've been around the corner with the loud noises that they were making. "Because I think I know exactly what it looked like!"
"Remus, please—" Lily stopped when Remus glared ferociously at her.
Remus didn't feel guilty when he saw how red her eyes were and the signs that she was about to cry. All he could think about was Hermione's face when she found out about James' betrayal. He looked away and looked at his face.
"What have you done, James?" Remus muttered, stepping away from the both of them and leaving the library.
"Moony! Moony! Remus, wait!" James called out. "Remus! Please! Let me explain! Please!"
Remus forced himself stopping in the middle of the corridor, clenching his jaw. He turned on his heel and stared at the spot over James' shoulder, unable to meet his gaze.
James panted in front of him, trying hard to catch his breath. "Remus, I promise. It wasn't like that! Lily... Lily was the one who kissed me, Remus. I didn't kiss her back."
Remus' jaw twitched. "She kissed you," he calmly stated, "and you didn't push her away."
"Remus..." His voice begged him to listen. "I was shock. My mind had gone blank. I didn't expect for her to kiss me! We... We just started talking, you know? Lily was crying about Snape and I tried to comfort her. We, we talked about Hermione and I told her that I was happy and then she told me that she regretted not giving me a chance—"
"And then you were suddenly interested?" Remus' nose flared.
"No!" James denied vehemently. "No, Remus! I wanted to tell her I was sorry because Hermione will always be the one for me but she kissed me before I could even finish my sentence. And then you caught us and then everything got all out of control and went to shit. Please, Remus. Believe me."
Remus slammed his eyes shut. "James, right now, I can't even look at you," he said with a hard edged voice. "I believe you when you said that Lily made the first move. But can you honestly answer me that you would still pull away from her even if I haven't intervened?"
"I..." The hesitation in James' voice was answer enough.
Remus snarled as he turned his back to him. He loved James like a brother but his heart ached as he thought of Hermione's face once he told her about James' encounter with Lily. There were no other words to put it lightly that Hermione would be crushed.
"How many times, James?" He growled out, gritting his teeth as he glared at the darkness ahead of him. "How many times have Lily spoke to you and came to you about this?"
"I... I don't understand," he whimpered helplessly.
"How many times have Lily played your feelings, James?!" He barked out, the anger lashing towards the person nearest to him. "How many times have she talked to you since you got together with Hermione?! Was that the one time she said that she regretted not giving you a chance?!" There was no response. "Answer me!"
"J-just that one time!" James stammered, his voice hoarsed with fear and uncertainty. "B-but... But the last two times we talked, she accused me of a lot of things, like using and playing Hermione. Then, she told me that she missed me. She missed the way it was before Hermione came. She... She said that Hermione stole everything from her, that she stole me from her. I... I didn't understand, then."
Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course, Lily had no tact; she always said the first thing she came into her mind. James had all missed the signs of Lily's anger, too caught up in a bliss with Hermione in his life and he had gone blind. Unfortunately, it would cost him.
Remus squared his shoulders and inhaled sharply. "Did you know that Lily warned Hermione about this?"
James' heavy panting paused. "What? What do you mean?"
"So, Hermione didn't tell you, then," Remus mused aloud.
"Tell me? Tell me about what?"
Remus scoffed. "Lily had an encounter with Hermione several days ago. She threatened Hermione, telling her that you would just leave her in favour of Lily. Hermione didn't believe in her and chose to put her faith in you." A pause. Then he choked out, "What will happen to her once she found out about this, James?"
He sobbed. "No, Remus. Y-you can't—"
"Can't what?" Remus bit out, spinning around to finally face him. "Can't tell her? Are you out of your mind, James?! Hermione deserves to know about this! You can't just pretend like the encounter in the library hadn't happened! You can't just pretend like everything is fine whilst you act like the perfect boyfriend to her! Besides, can you even hide it from her withou the guilt eating you away?! Hermione deserves more than this, James! She deserves more than lies!"
"I know," James bemoaned, grabbing the strands of his hair and pulling in frustration. "I know, Moony. But I can't... She... She will get hurt, Moony. I promised that I wouldn't hurt her. I can't..." He trailed off and started shaking his head, lost in his thoughts as tears spilled out of his eyes.
"Your promise can't do anything now because she will be hurt," Remus stated mercilessly. "And it will be your fault. But it would be wrong to just go on and not tell her that this happened, James. She believed in you when Lily tried to play on her feelings, convincing her that you would leave. And you... you broke her faith in you, just like that. It's her decision if she wants to forgive you or not. It's her choice if she's willing to continue your relationship or not; or if she wants to put her trust and faith into you again. Because whether you like it or not, the kiss between you and Lily just proved to Hermione that, one day, you would choose Lily over her."
"Never—" James choked out, still shaking his head. "I would never do that! I love Hermione! I would never do that to her!"
Remus sighed quietly before leaving him in the middle of the dark corridor, his silence was a thousand messages filled with disappointments and regrets.
This time, James didn't stop him.
At the party, Remus shocked everyone when he had slammed the door open and announced in a gloomy voice. "The party is over. Leave."
Many started protesting and a lot were confused but one glare from the werewolf was all it took for them to silence themselves. One by one they began leaving, muttering questions to their friends and eyeing Remus with caution.
"Remus?" Hermione's voice carried from across the room as the last guest left.
The Marauders, Regulus, James' parents, Mary, Frank, Alice, and Hermione were the only ones in the room.
Remus slowly looked at her and the innocent confusion on her face made him want to wail and break everything in sight.
"Remus? What happened?" Hermione asked, her voice soft. "Where's James?"
Remus immediately averted his gaze. "James is not coming," he answered monotonously.
"What?" Hermione looked shocked. "But why—"
"He's just not coming, Hermione!" Remus snapped and felt guilty when he saw her recoiling back. He sighed and tried to calm himself down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."
Hermione slowly nodded, her eyes coating with concern. Remus knew that she was befuddled by his snappish behaviour and was most likely worried why. He wanted nothing more than to tell her what he had witnessed earlier but he couldn't stomach the thought of seeing her reaction. He had already decided that he wasn't going to interfere with a relationship that wasn't his. He would support them but he would not encourage or discourage their decisions and actions. That's why he had decided that it would be James who would admit the whole truth to Hermione, whether he was ready or not.
"What are we going to do now?" Alice asked softly, looking at the others.
Sirius and Peter looked at Remus for guidance and the werewolf sighed.
"Let's just leave," he said. "Let the house elves take care of the food."
Remus was relieved when Hermione didn't throw a fit about using the house elves to clean. He didn't think he could handle it without blurting the incident with James. Thankfully, the others didn't question him and they started to move towards the door in a reluctant pace. All, except for one. He watched as Hermione looked at the cake, her face solemn.
"I'm going to stay here," she suddenly said, looking over her shoulder to them. "I'm going to wait for James to come."
Remus' temper flared. "He's not coming—"
"I know," Hermione cut him off. "That's why, if you see him, tell him to come here." She smiled gently. "It's his birthday, Remus. I want to celebrate it with him."
He sighed at the stubborn set of her jaw, ignoring the twinge of pain in his chest. "We'll tell him," he promised and nodded at the others to continue moving since they had all stopped when Hermione spoke.
The last that Remus had seen of her that night was when she waved at them goodbye just as the doors closed, her smile as radiant as the rising sun. Remus wondered if she would smile that way again after James revealed the truth to her. Immediately, Sirius, Peter and Regulus turned to him and demanded what had happened. Aunt Dory even joined in, declaring that she wanted to know where her son was. Remus didn't have a choice but to tell them the truth of what he witnessed earlier.
Sirius swore loudly. Peter looked dumbfounded. Regulus was ready to kill. Frank was shocked. Mary was sobbing. Alice was angry. Aunt Dory and Uncle Charlus seemed to be at lost.
"It doesn't matter," Remus said loudly enough for them to hear. When he saw Sirius opening his mouth, he added, "We aren't a part of their relationship. They have to solve this on their own. We can't intervene. We'll just have to support the both of them, whatever the outcome of the situation. They need us now more than ever."
"Oh, I knew it!" Aunt Dory raved. "I knew that she wasn't what she appears to be. She always hurts my son. How dare she! Please tell me that I am not the only one who's thinking that she did it on purpose? It is so obvious! She wants to seduce James so he could leave Hermione and then disregard him as soon as she get what she wants! Oh! That selfish bitch!"
"Dory!" Uncle Charlie reprimanded. "Don't assume things that you don't know that."
Remus smiled bitterly. He knew that Aunt Dory's statement had merit. What other reason could there be other than getting the attention that was taken from her? He sighed as he remembered the beautiful redhead of Gryffindor. What had become of the sweet girl who studied with him back when they were both first years? Who said that she wanted to be his friend so he wasn't lonely any longer? What had become of that girl?
"Oh, Charlus. Oh, my baby," Aunt Dory whispered as she leaned her head on her husband's shoulder. "What have you done?"
A/N: People make mistakes, whether intentional or not. I'm not painting James in a bad light; I think a lot of people would've froze if someone unexpectantly kisses them. However, that doesn't make it right nonetheless. The damage has been done. Just to be clear, the kiss itself wasn't really the problem here (although it does pose as one) but rather James' tolerance in letting Lily get to him and confront him. Yes, he has talked to Hermione about it but he had never actively tried to avoid her and tell Lily to stay away. From the start, he should've done so when Lily begun bothering him.
Originally, I intended for James to be confused about Lily's kiss and start questioning about his feelings for Hermione and such. But, in the end, I shot that idea to the trashcan because it doesn't make sense for him to be confused when his feelings had been clearly proven to be true in Valentine's Day. So, James being confused etc. etc. would've been a moot point.
Remus is overacting because he cares for Hermione a lot and thinks pretty highly of her because of her accepting him despite of her fears. He had put all of his faith and trust in James, only to be betrayed the second he saw him with Lily. He's extremely disappointed in James, in himself for not seeing the signs earlier and for disregarding Sirius' and Peter's concerns, and in Lily because he liked and respected her a lot and she had done something unforgivable in his eyes.
Reviews are welcomed!
~ NR xx
