Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 53: De Ja Vu Times 2

"Ah! It is Bobbery! Welcome back to you!" Flavio exclaimed once Team Mario returned. "Do you know how worried we were? My stomach was most upset! I must worry for everyone here, but who worries Flavio? No one!"

"Well we're back, Bobbery's alive, and there's still some adventuring left to do!" Kirby announced.

Flavio wasn't finished. "Do you know how hard that it is for me, to sit here in safety and worry so much? I do not know what is out there, waiting to lurch in and snack on me! We do not even know how to get home, for the sake of the blue, briny sea!"

"That would be nice to know…" "Yeah, otherwise we're doomed!" "I forgot to get a toothbrush!"

"But no more yelling! Now is the time to pull together as a team!

"Who was yelling?" "I was just exclaiming."

Bobbery let out a deep breath. "Flavio, old boy…I must say…you talk too much."

Link let out a very loud cackle and slapped his knee. While Team Mario watched him start laughing, Flavio was flabbergasted.

"Such insolence! Grrrrrr! I growl at you like an angry jungle beast! I oughta…"

"So anyway Mario…" Bobbery continued, completely ignoring Flavio and trying to drain Link out. "About that Crystal Star you spoke of earlier…"

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that again!" cried Goombella.

"Curse the island drama!" wailed Kirby. "Double anyway, you were saying?"

"There was a rather odd rock in the far east of the jungle with a skull carved into it…Call it an old sea bomb's intuition, but that skull rock smells…suspicious."

"Heh heh…hey Bobbery? You wanna know what really smells suspicious? FLAVIO'S ARMPIT! Oy, smells like low tide! War har har har har…"

"That was completely uncalled for…" muttered Ms. Mowz as Flavio flashed murder in his eyes. Koops, however, chuckled and elbowed her.

"Oh, it was hilarious!"

She gave him a look. He instantly coughed and backed off.

"…or not. That works too."

"But, seriously…You may be onto somefin wif that skull rock…I'd say that's where the treasure is…"

Flavio rolled his eyes. "Well, anyone could figure that out, you mutinous joker. I mean, HOW obvious! I was already saying in my head that the treasure is certainly behind that rock! And as such, I'll continue my duty of protecting this camp from invasion…Captain Mario! Carry on! I am sorry to make so many requests, but, you know…"

"Flavio, you old cash-grubber! If you want treasure, why don't you go get it yourself?" Bobbery barked.

"Yeeeeaaaah!"

"Oh, well, Yes, uh, Admiral…You see, I…well yes you have a point. Let us decide this fair and square, shall we? Listen to me, everyone! Who thinks I should go along in investigate the skull rock?"

"Oh heck YES!" "Yeah, take him, please!" "Have fun out there, jerk!" "Off with you!"

"They're certainly on our side now, aren't they?" laughed Flurrie.

"About time that man started pulling his own weight!" agreed Ms. Mowz.

"There you have it, Flavio! Fair and square, eh wot?" Bobbery stated with a smirk. Flavio sweat dropped.

"…um no. Not fair at all. Flavio hates you all."

Of all people, Link came to his rescue.

"Wait a minute people! I know that buffoon really should get his fair share of hard labor, but do we really want to lug around another Kolorado with us?"

"He has a point…" Kirby nodded. Spike raised his hand.

"Question! Who the heck is Kolorado?"

"A desert version of this fool. Now we're just going to-"

"TAKE HIM WITH YOU!" shouted the rest of the crew, tossing Flavio into the gang and sending them on their way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Okay, that wasn't fair!" Link complained, arriving at the hard to climb wall. "I can't believe they tossed a guy at us! At least his fancy pants cushioned his fall-"

"I. Heard. That."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Hop on, Gonzales- I have to get us both across!"

"Me too!" Flavio shouted, jumping on Mario's back before they took off. Spike instantly succumbed to the weight and collapsed to the ground.

"Umph! DUDE! I can hardly carry Mario-what makes you think I can handle your big butt too?" he shouted.

Mario: *-*

"WHAAAAT! Flavio is completely outraged! I can't believe the insolence of this crew of mine! I'm risking my life to help you, and this is what I receive in return?"

"There's a few things wrong with your theory. You made Mario captain, you're the insolent one, we had to throw you out in the wilderness-" Link started.

"-and maybe those pants do make you look a bit…poofy…" remarked Kirby.

"Still doesn't change the fact I can't carry this fool…" Spike muttered. Flavio grumbled something nasty as he hopped off, now being forced to float across the gaps with Kirby.

Skull Rock, Minutes Later-

A bit deeper on the island, Bobbery instantly recognized the Skull Rock and ran towards it, the rest of the group following. Flavio shoved his way to the front and attempted to make himself look important.

"Ah! Now what is all this? A dead end, taunting Flavio with its dead end-ness…but hmm…is this…I think this is the Skull Rock Bobbery blabbered about…"

"No, I bet its that OTHER Skull Rock at the edge of the island…" snorted Goombella.

"Well, it positively reeks of ancient secret, yes? Let us plunge into this puzzle!"

"…and by us, you probably mean "Us" as in "we, not including you"…" Kirby accused mysteriously. It got quiet after that.

"Wait, what?" "That's confusing…" "Come again?"

"I meant Flavio will probably stand there while we do everything."

"Ooooooooooh!"

Link's adventuring instinct kicked in as he trotted through the small lagoon and investigated the skull rock. He poked it, punched it, pried it, used Koops' shell ability, used Koops in general, used Goombella, almost used Mario, and stabbed and slashed it mercilessly with his sword. He had nothing.

"Well, it's definitely blocking the way to something…" he finally deduced. "…but that "un-patched eye" looks like we could place something there…"

"Where are we supposed to find an object on a haunted island that could conceivably fit?" questioned Koops. Mario shrugged.

"Hey Gonzales! Doesn't Flavio have a gem that might fit into that eyehole?" Spike recalled.

Mario thought it over before nodding and agreeing. As the rest of the group nearly turned the skull formation upside down trying to figure something out, Mario went up to Flavio…who was singing…again.

"Skull captain casts his gaze! Red jewels shines and plays! Boom-bassa-boom festival! The 'Stache Brothers! Best of friends! 3 times Red 'Stache lands on his end! At the boom-bassa-boom festivaaaaaaal!" Flavio stopped when he saw Mario staring strangely at him. "I am just singing to while away the time…it is not like Flavio is scared or anything!"

Mario asked if he could borrow some sort of object.

"You want Flavio to lend something, is this correct? Now, what could I possibly have that you would need with such anxiousness?" He suddenly got defensive. "You want me to give you the Chuckola Cola? Ha! I must scoff at you! You ask too much, little man…except…WAIT! I already gave that to you, you rat!"

Mario: ?

He asked again, this time wanting his special red skull gem that he kept singing about. Flavio's face fell like a stone.

"You want to borrow that? This is the heirloom of the House of Flavio, you know…but I suppose it is all right…because I am Flavio! He of such ludicrous wealth! I'm just LENDING it though! Do not dare run off with it! Do not make me dock pay!"

Mario nodded and received the prized possession. He made his way through his complaining partners and inserted the gem into the skull's eyehole. Suddenly, the two statues in the water lit up, 'stached faces suddenly noticeable.

"My adventuring skills tell me we have to do something with them…" Link finalized.

"Of course we do! Why else would they light up?"

Link made a face as Flavio started up singing again.

"Mi mi mi mi…The 'Stache Brothers, best of friends! 3 times Red 'Stache lands on his end! Blue 'Stache's belly 4 times is whacked, so let's hear those fireworks go BOOM!"

"Blast it, what do we do!" Kirby shouted to the sky. Mario stared at the two statues before climbing up onto the "red 'stached" statue. He stood up, then did 3 Spin Jumps on it. Kirby suddenly caught on after Mario gave him a notion and whacked the "blue 'Stache's belly" 4 times. They slapped a high five when a secret door on the side of the cliff fell open.

"My turn to help!" Link cried, rushing in with Bobbery held high.

"Take it easy, son!" Bobbery called after he lit his fuse.

"Sorry, I'm just so used to Bombette…"

Nevertheless, Link ran up and tossed Bobbery into the newly accessible hole. He trotted a bit deeper before exploding and revealing the entrance to the Pirate's Grotto.

"OH SUCH EXCITEMENT! The cave entrance!" Flavio just about screamed. "Wait…my Skull Gem! L-L-Link? What were you thinking! That gem was part of the House of Flavio!"

Link held up his index finger. "Wait for it…"

The red Skull Gem fell out of the sky and landed next to Flavio. Link smirked.

"Don't under estimate my exploding abilities! They're a real blast!"

Everyone groaned except Flavio, who happily repossessed his gem. "WHEW! Oh, what a happy day! I have my Skull Gem back! My jolliness has no end! Now then…I'm sure you're all disappointed, but Flavio must be heading back now."

Mario, Link, and Kirby all planned the throw a party later. However, there was a cave that needed to be explored first!

"All right! A cave! This finally beats the island boredom!" cheered Kirby.

Month * Day O&

Scoffing at danger, my brave explorers entered the cave. Will they actually find the pirate king's treasure? I tremble with anticipation.