All the legal stuff, summery and notes are on chapter one.
A/N: I know some of you think I'm being too lenient with Remus and that Harry shouldn't take him back in the first place but the thing is- despite everything Harry still loves Remus and he needs him because though I never tried it myself I can imagine it can't be easy dealing with two small children on your own.
Besides, it's not like Remus left because he doesn't want to be with Harry and Aaron and the baby, he's just scared.
Beta: Dragon, may she fly free and high!
Mini-Moony- chapter Forty-six
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At first Harry tried to give Remus time, telling himself that his husband was still adjusting to being back from Spain. They had moved their lives back to 'Rose Cottage' and Aaron was learning to sleep alone in his own bed again. The boy was just too happy to have both his parents' home and loving him to care about much else. And that was just how Harry wanted it.
But as Christmas approached Harry grew more uneasy. Remus was playing the role of the loving husband, doting father and good friend perfectly and anyone looking on the outside would have thought they had the perfect life, but Harry knew different. Remus said he was working on his issues with the baby but to Harry it felt like once again Remus was ignoring the problem. A part of Harry had to admire Remus for being able to do that when evidence so clearly stared him in the face but mostly he was lost on how to tackle the problem. He didn't want to scare Remus away again.
"Harry, I have something to ask you." Harry turned, frowning, from the stove where he had just finished stirring the stew for dinner. Remus stood in the doorway, looking a little uncomfortable.
"What is it?"
"My Spanish assistant/translator wants to come over for Christmas, and I wondered if it'll be alright if we have him over." Harry frowned again, sighing. He didn't feel like new people right now, not in his current state. He barely even moved beyond the wards of his home, his friends' homes and his shop nowadays- and when he did venture into the outer world it was under the cover of heavy glamours, the last thing he needed was making the front page of the papers. And now this new person he heard absolutely nothing about before that moment…
"Who is this person?" Think very careful about the answer Remus and it better be a very old lady with severe eye-sight issues and deaf in one ear!
"Miguel was the translator the Spanish Ministry assigned for me. He was really great," And he doesn't sound anything like an old blind and deaf lady… "And now he wants to come to England to 'experience real winter'. So I thought he could stay here." Harry turned back to the stove taking a deep breath, his insides were churning with anger, and he couldn't even say why.
"I think he should stay at the Manor. There's not enough space here." Remus watched Harry's back for a long moment, before he sighed,
"As you wish. I'll go talk to Draco." Harry waited until he heard his husband leave the room before he let out the air in his lungs. What the hell was wrong with him? This wasn't him, this wasn't how he wanted to be- all suspicious and jealous… Gods, he hasn't been this jealous since… since before they got together for the first time, when he used to watch Remus flirt with all those boys back in Hogwarts. He hated being that guy but he couldn't help it. Damn hormones. And damn Remus.
As Harry found out soon enough Christmas wasn't the best time of year for bakers. Sure the money was great- they've made in a day what they made in a month on a regular season but the workload was almost crushing. Seamus and Mairead tried to take up as much as they could to let Harry get more rest but it was still rather hellish. As a result Harry was hardly home for a fortnight, sometimes he and Seamus even slept in the break room. Harry couldn't wait for Christmas Eve to finally come- they've decided that no matter what the shop would be closed on Christmas Day, they just hoped that most people were too busy with presents and families to notice.
When finally they managed to shove the last of the costumers out on Christmas Eve's afternoon all three employees of the 'Sugardust' were ready to drop. Each of them fantasized about a long hot bath and a good night sleep, but that was not to be in the cards for them for they all had to make an appearance at Malfoy Manor for the traditional Christmas dinner. If they didn't, well, I'd really hate to be in their shoes facing the wrath of Draco Malfoy…
Remus, Harry and Aaron stepped into the foyer of the Manor, which was decorated lavishly with garlands and holly. A house elf bowed to them and led them to the sitting room where drinks were to be taken before the meal. As soon as they stepped in Draco pounced on them with a child like enthusiasm and glee. It was hard for Harry to be upset when he saw the blond man bouncing around and he decided to put his worries aside for one night and just enjoy the festivities. Besides, he knew very well that if he started a fight on Christmas Eve Draco would hex his balls off for stealing away attention.
"Harry, come and meet Miguel." Draco cried out, pulling Harry with him before the brunet had a chance to protest. Miguel looked nothing like Harry imagined- in fact, it was much worse. The man was a god! Tall and olive skinned, with bleached blond hair that did nothing to cheapen his appearance the Spaniard smiled at Harry, his dark eyes sparkling,
"Harry, it is so good to finally meet you!" He cried his voice melodious and his accent musical. Harry wanted to hate him so badly… "Remus told me so much about you, he never stops talking about you, you are so lucky." Harry tried to smile, feeling rather ashamed for being so upset with Remus these last couple of weeks, and then angry with himself for letting a total stranger shake the foundations of his feelings. "And a baby…" Miguel was gushing now, not even waiting for Harry to say a word, "That is so incredible, can I…?" He indicated with his hand to the baby bump, catching Harry off guard,
"Hmm, yeah, sure." Miguel leaned over and placed his hands over the bump, cooing happily and above his head Harry caught Remus' encouraging smile. Harry returned a shaky smile back, feeling the happiness sipping away again. Remus came over to grab Miguel and introduce him to the other guests and Draco came behind his friend,
"He's great isn't he? I can't believe Remus was keeping him a secret all this time…" Before Harry had a chance to respond Draco's arm was grabbed tightly and he was whisked off to the corner by Hermione. Harry looked at them, great, even Hermione felt sorry for him. Why was this so difficult? Why couldn't he just smile and be friendly like everyone else, and why in Merlin's balls even someone he met a minute ago could do something his own husband couldn't?
During dinner things got worse, Miguel as it turned out was the touchy-feely sort, and Remus, who was seated next to him, not only didn't mind the extra attention but actually seemed to enjoy it. As did Draco, on Miguel's other side but Harry didn't care about him right now. He was seething, stabbing at his food viciously and feeling rather sorry for himself.
Eventually he got fed up with pretending to eat and rose from his seat, pushing his chair back loudly. The entire table stopped and stared at him and Harry suddenly felt a little self conscious. He put his napkin down, straightening it with an embarrassed smile and cleared his throat,
"I'm going to have a little lie-down." Without glancing around he marched to the door, closing it behind him. He waited a couple of seconds to see if Hermione might follow, but from the lack of her presence he figured she was privy to the same show as he was. And if she didn't feel the need to rush over and make sure everything was alright with him and the baby then she didn't like Miguel's hands all over her partner anymore than he did.
Going up to his old room he threw himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling, he wondered how long it was going to take Remus to show up and see what was wrong. A part of him wanted it to be a long time so that he'd have another thing to bitch about but mostly he just wanted Remus to come up and talk to him. The situation between them was not healthy and Harry knew that Remus was feeling it too, after all the man was much more astute when it came to other people's state of mind than Harry was.
A soft knock came and Harry sat up in bed, looking towards the door suspiciously, wondering if it was indeed Remus or perhaps Hermione. The door cracked open and Remus' tawny head appeared through it.
"Can I come in?" Harry nodded, pushing himself to the edge of the bed and rising slowly to his feet. Even though his baby bump wasn't very big, he found it a lot more difficult to maneuver into certain positions. "You left in such a hurry, are you feeling alright?" Harry came to a stop in front of his spouse, pulling himself to his full height and blurted,
"Are you having an affair with Miguel?" Remus' eyes popped out in shock, his jaw dropping and his entire stance stunned. He wanted to make sure Harry was doing fine, and then maybe slip downstairs for another cup of eggnog; he did not expect this…
"Excuse me? Are you being serious?" Harry crossed his arms over his chest, his features set,
"Just answer the question!"
"No!" Remus flung his hands up in the air, this was not happening, this was not happening! "Why would you think I am having an affair?"
"You seemed awfully chummy during dinner." Harry stated with a shrug, his voice cold and hard. Remus wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry, this whole conversation was utterly ridiculous.
"I have never cheated on you, ever. This… You are being completely ridi…" Remus stopped himself before he said something that would be detrimental to his already fragile relationship and possibly his health. Instead he took a deep breath, "Ok, obviously this is not about Miguel, what's going on here?" Harry shrugged again and turned his back on Remus, going over to stand by the window. Remus bit his lip; he knew he was treading on thin ice here and that he needed to proceed with cautious. He didn't really sign up for Harry turning into a complete basket case when pregnant, that was not in the plan… Approaching Harry he slowly wrapped his arms around the shoulders of his spouse. "What is it Cailean, talk to me…"
"I hate this." Harry confessed lowly, feeling his body losing its rigidity under Remus' touch despite his emotions. "I hate being that guy, who's always angry and jealous." Remus nuzzled the soft skin of Harry's neck,
"Then don't be, this isn't you anyway." Harry let out a small chuckle, shrugging Remus' arms off and turning to face his husband,
"You make me this way!" He cried, "You and your 'head in the sand' attitude!" Remus gawked at him again; this mercurial mood shifting was making his head spin.
"Harry…" He started, not knowing what to say, but as it turned out it didn't much matter as Harry was gearing up once more for a full blowout,
"No, Remus! I've had enough of this! We are a family, as much as you think you can ignore the parts of it you don't like, we are a family. You, and me and Aaron and this baby, yes, I've said it again, baby!" Remus wanted to roll his eyes but years of experience of dealing with an angry Harry kept him at bay, "I know you said you're working on it and everything but the truth is you're not. You just keep pretending that if you didn't touch the baby bump or relate to it in any way it'll go away."
"It's not that simple…" Remus groused through his teeth, why couldn't Harry understand? Why couldn't he just… give him more time?
"No, it's not. Not when even a complete stranger that I met today for the first time can do something that you, whom I've known and loved for years can't."
"That's the big deal?" Remus cried, throwing his hands up, "That's what's going to make it all better? Me touching your stomach?"
"No! But it's a start!" Harry was pissed, royally pissed! Remus was being deliberately obtuse, gods he hated when Remus did that. "How the hell do you think you're going to come over your issues regarding the baby when you don't even try to bond with her? Remus, let's face it, it doesn't matter whether she's a werewolf or not, she's still going to be your daughter and if you can't relate to her now, you will never be able to later." Harry's tone was sad and he could feel his eyes smarting up. He really, really didn't want to have to choose between his husband and child but if Remus carried on like this…
"I… I can't… I need to think…" Remus rubbed his forehead, feeling completely helpless. This was an ultimatum, Harry had just dropped an ultimatum at his feet and it was Remus' turn to decide whether he was going to take it or walk away from his life as he knew it. He needed to get out of that room, he needed fresh air, to clear his head and think, he needed to think. Remus walked blindly to the door, putting his hand on the knob when Harry's quiet voice stopped him,
"I don't care what the baby is going to be, and I could never hate you if she is a werewolf. I just need you to be able to look her in the eye and not hate her or feel guilty." Remus nodded, opening the door and stepping out. His head was spinning so fast it was hard to see where he was going. Not bothering with a cloak he stumbled through the front doors and into the gardens.
The shock of cold air hit him like a fist. The house was warmed up to a pleasant degree and he managed to forget completely that it was the end of December and the temperature was just below freezing. Pulling out his wand he cast a warming charm on himself, not strong enough to stave the cold completely, as the cold air helped him clear his mind, but warm enough so that the others wouldn't have to venture out and bring back his frozen with hypothermia body in a few minutes.
The Malfoy Manor gardens were rather dark at night, the neatly trimmed hedges stood white and silent. The whole place was eerily quiet and Remus' instincts guided him to stay close to the lit windows and not stray too deep into the shadows. He found a small gazebo nearby, not too far from the light and not too shadowy, and with a flick of his wand cleared all the snow from the benches and weaved some more warming charms through the small wooden building.
"Mind if I join you?" Remus looked up in surprise, he wasn't expecting anyone, and he figured he'd hear their steps on the snow if someone joined him. But then again, ghosts didn't really walk. With a nod he invited his friend inside. James floated into the gazebo and made to sit next to Remus, his corporal body hovering in the air. He hasn't spoken to Remus since that fire call to Spain and Remus hasn't spoken to him.
While he was still mad at the werewolf for ditching his son, James understood his reasoning. Which made it a lot more difficult to accept them. For a long time the two sat in silence, each absorbed in his own thoughts when James finally heaved a sigh that seemed to shake the very foundation of him,
"I'm sorry." Remus glanced sideways in surprise, trying to hide his smile. It must have cost James an arm and a leg to say those words.
"Lily made you come over didn't she?"
"No!" James managed to keep the offended look for nearly full five seconds before he caved in, "Yeah, a little…" Remus chuckled, good old Lils. "But we need to talk." James turned to face Remus, who looked at him with a surprised expression on his face, James was never one to talk, talking was Lily's department and James was usually more than happy to leave that to his wife, this must be really serious then. "Look, I am sorry that I yelled at you, back when you were in Spain, but I'm not sorry for what I said because I was right and you know it. Do you honestly think that ignoring the problem will make it go away? You of all people should know better."
"Why do I always have to know better? Just because you and Sirius can't be buggered to ever think for yourselves doesn't mean I need to know better all the time!" Remus argued, gods he was tired of everyone thinking he was playing around, he had right to have feelings just as the next person and just like them he had a right to know what was right and not being able to accept it!
"Then you admit we have a problem then?" Remus' jaw dropped, did James, James Potter of all people just tricked him? That was humiliating… Not to mention annoying because he never thought James had it in him. Clearly death was taking a toll on the man, and the fact that the only person he saw all day was Lily. Gods, if James started to get smarter after death Remus would have to seriously consider breaking ties with him! Too bad he hadn't thought about it before becoming the man's son in law- which was a whole different kind of humiliating. Shaking his head to clear it Remus pursed his lips and avoided James' gaze.
"You know what I used to do when Lily was preggers?" Remus shrugged, knowing full well he was behaving like a petulant child but right now he didn't care. James chose to ignore the big baby next to him, "I used to talk to Harry every night. Apparently magical children have a strong sense of what's going on around them and they can feel other people magical signatures, especially those of their biological parents. Lily did a whole research on this." Remus was still looking right ahead but James could tell he was listening intently. "Anyway, I think the best way for you to bond with the baby is talk to her. Do you know what Lily and I would give to be able to get close enough to our son to be able to touch our granddaughter? Or even just hug the people we love? You are selfish Remus, and it's about time you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your family!" Rising from his place James shot a final glare at Remus before zooming into the dark.
