A.N: Guess what, people? Apparently, I passed my all finals! Yayyy=) I hope you'll all like this chapter, and...don't forget to review please!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, the Vampire Diaries belongs to the CW and LJ Smith, and any resemblance between my OC's and real persons, dead or undead is purely coincidental. I also don't own the title of the chapter, it's from the song "Julien" by Placebo, nor do I own story's title, which is a Club Des Belugas song. Oh, and nor do I own the quote that I used in this chapter, that quote belongs to Louis Aragon. Phew.=)
Ps: Special thanks go to ariadne .chanel, for being an amazing beta and her awesome ideas for the story!
AMY'S POV
"Still not begging?" Andrew whispered into my ear, licking the blood on his lips, "I'm getting bored in here, Blondie."
Focus on something else.I commanded myself.Don't listen to him, focus on something else…
"But again, probably you're used to this…" he muttered, "Your boyfriend must've done that to you before, right?"
Silence. The only thing that could be heard was my fast breathing.
"Be like that..." he muttered and ran his fingertips on my arm and his smile widened, "You're shaking..." he whispered, "How lovely."
And then the blinding pain came back.
"Amy, wake up!" someone shook me roughly and I opened my eyes, my screaming ringing in my ears. Jolting up in the bed, I tried to push the voice's owner away, panting.
"Hey, hey, it's me…" I recognized Mike's voice, "It's me, sis. Just a nightmare, you're okay…"
My shaking hands went up to my neck, checking if there was any blood and tears filled my eyes.
"Mike?" I whispered and someone burst into room.
"Amy?" Will asked frantically, as I heard Dan's fast steps, coming into the room, "What happened? I heard you scream"
"Just a nightmare," Mike said and snapped his fingers, "Will, get her some water, come on."
Dan walked closer to the bed, with a worried look in his eyes, "Amy-"
"I'm fine," I said almost automatically and wiped the sweat off my forehead, "Really," I mumbled, as Will walked in, with a glass of water in his hand. My hands were shaking too much to be able to hold it, so Mike held my hand still around the glass and I drank it in three big gulps.
"You were screaming really bad," Will muttered, "What was it about?"
Goose bumps rose on my arms and I hugged myself, shrugging, "Just- a silly nightmare," I said slowly, "Nothing to be worried about."
Dan and Mike exchanged glances and I shifted in my bed.
"I want to go back to sleep, so..." I muttered and Mike kissed me on the forehead.
"Call us if you need anything, okay?"
I nodded, and Will smiled at me, walking out of the room. Dan stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, and cleared his throat.
"You sure you're okay?" he blurted out, looking at me worriedly and I tried to smile.
"Yeah," I said, "Yeah, sure. I'll be, once I go back to sleep."
"Oh, right..." he muttered and walked to the door, "Good night."
I nodded and he flicked off the light, closing the door behind him. Still shaking, I reached out to get my phone, but my hand froze in the air when I remembered what happened.
He wouldn't come here. He was probably still angry at me, and-
And I didn't want to look like a weak girl who couldn't handle one simple nightmare.
So I pulled my hand back and slipped under the covers, curling up into a ball.
Keep it together! I commanded myself, clenching my teeth. Snuggling more into the covers, I closed my eyes, repeating countless poems in my head over and over again, until my eyelids felt too heavy to open them.
In my dream, Damon was in my room. Everything looked misty, but it didn't keep me from feeling him caressing my cheekbone softly, like a feather.
"Damon…" I muttered and he flashed me his gorgeous smile.
"Right here..." he whispered gently, "Go back to sleep."
I smiled too, and darkness pulled my body into a dreamless state.
Louis Aragon once said "Light is meaningful only in relation to darkness, and truth presupposes error. It is these mingled opposites which people our life, which make it pungent, intoxicating. We only exist in terms of this conflict, in the zone where black and white clash."
My darkness and light clashed.
And I wanted to vanish.
In just one minute, I managed to hurt two people that meant everything to me. Out of love. Out of fear. Out of anger.
It doesn't matter. I'm not even sure if I can separate those from each other now.
I huffed, tapping my pen on the journal and I shut it close when Caroline sat next to me.
"Again with the depression?"
"I have the right to be depressed," I grumbled, "Neither Damon nor Luke wants to talk to me."
She pinched my arm and I winced.
"Caroline!"
"I refuse to watch you turn into one of those girls."
"What girls?"
Caroline arched a brow, "You know! One of those 'oh, what will I do without having some alpha male in my life' girls!"
I gave her a deadly look, "Caroline, if you ever dare to think I'm like that-!"
"You're not…yet," she said in a witty voice, "But you're getting dangerously close to that point, so as your best friend, it's my main mission to stop you before it's too late."
"Thanks," I said sarcastically as Elena and Bonnie came closer and sat beside us.
"Hey you!"
"Hey..." I smiled, "What's up?"
She shrugged slightly, "You?"
My smile faded a little, "Fine," I said, trying to sound convincing, but Elena tilted her head to the right, giving me a knowing look.
"You guys talked last night?"
I shook my head, "He-uh, he didn't answer my message last night, and I didn't-" I stuttered, "I didn't want to bother him."
Caroline sighed and checked her watch.
"Bonnie," she said, suddenly alarmed, "Cheerleading practice, come on." she turned to look at Elena, "Keep her under control."
"Caroline!" I exclaimed but she just winked at me and walked away with Bonnie.
"Stefan said he came back home in the morning," Elena said slowly and I tried to ignore the fire in my chest, gulping.
"Oh…" I whispered inaudibly and Elena sat up straighter.
"But-I'm sure it's nothing," She said reassuringly, "I mean, he can't be mad at you-"
"Yeah he can," I said flatly, "he definitely can."
"Amy-"
"I told him I wasn't Katherine," I blurted out, "She was the forbidden subject, but I went and blabbered about her when he least expected it."
She was silent for a moment and I buried my face in my hands, "I screwed up."
"No you didn't!" Elena said defensively, "Of course you didn't!"
"No?" I lifted my face from my hands, "Elena, just enlighten me, please, how can you think that I didn't screw up?"
"You talked about Katherine, so what? You were both angry, I'm sure Damon will-"
"Listen?" I finished her sentence for her, giving her a disbelieving look, "Are you sure we're talking about the same Damon here? Taller than both of us, dark hair, blue eyes?" I asked sarcastically, "Damon does not listen people, Elena, he's just not wired that way!"
"If you asked me a couple months ago, I would've told that he wouldn't have a serious relationship with anyone, but..." she waved a hand in the air, "Here we are."
"If you told me half of the things that are happening right now a couple months ago, I would've said that you were crazy," I said, "I've had a fight with my vampire boyfriend over my vampire hunter best friend and the said vampire boyfriend refuses to talk to me because I mentioned his vampire ex girlfriend slash maker during the argument," I paused, "I'm really questioning the direction that my life has taken right now."
She laughed, "I know what you mean…" she muttered, "My life used to be pretty simple."
"Mine too, until Damon came along being all mysterious, dark, vampiric, and I can make your estrogen level go crazy," I started grinning, "But still, I wouldn't change it-" I paused, my smile fading as I remembered what had lead to this conversation and I dropped my gaze to my lap.
"Want me to talk to him?"
I shook my head quickly, "I messed it up, I can fix it myself," I said, "I can make him listen-"
"Yeah, that's the strong Amy we all know!"
"-and if not, I'll send him a text message, more embarrassing, less tiring."
"Or not."
I didn't have to wait too long to see him.
I guess I should thank Caroline for that. She had insisted that we all should go to the Grill once school was over, so her, Elena, Stefan, Bonnie and I went there, since no one could say 'no' to her.
But of course, as soon as I walked in, my body froze and I turned on my heels to run out of the bar, only to be blocked by Caroline.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Out," I tried to take a step but she stood in front of me.
"Amy!" she hissed.
"What?"
"You're not going outside. You can't run away from him forever!"
I gulped, "I'm not. I'm just-it's just-I-uh…" I stuttered, "I'll just-wait until I find the right words to use."
She rolled her eyes, and spun me by my arm, then pushed me back into the bar. I gritted my teeth, and walked towards him with shaking legs, then sat on a bar seat.
"Hi..." I muttered inaudibly, but of course he heard.
"Hey," He said, sipping his whiskey. I tucked a stray of my hair behind my ear nervously.
"So...n-nice weather we're having…"
He turned his head to give me a weird look, "That's what you call 'finding the right words'?"
My eyebrows rose, "You were listening?"
"Still haven't got used to it?"
I took a deep breath, nibbling my bottom lip, "I-" I cleared my throat, "Damon-"
"Why do you care so much?" the stern tone of his voice startled me, "About him? Seriously, Goldilocks, what's his importance?"
My eyes widened as I tried to find the words, "Damon, it's just-" I paused, "I just do."
"But you can't tell me a reason."
"Not everything has to have a reason!" I said pleadingly, "Look, I know what I said last night was-under the belt, but I'm asking you to trust me."
"Right…"
I was silent for a while, but then, the newspaper I saw on the table made my heart skip a beat.
"Oh no…" I muttered as I picked up the newspaper, my eyes skimming the lines, "No, no, no…"
"What?"
I shook my head, feeling the familiar fear in the pit of my stomach, "Another attack…" I whispered, "Listen to this; Bethany Mill was found dead near the forest." When I looked at the girl's picture, my eyes started burning, "They've found me again, and they hurt someone. Again."
"Amy-"
"Oh God…" I chanted to myself, "Oh my…"
"Amy!" Damon shook me by my shoulders, "No vampire is after you."
"How can you say that?" I exclaimed, "Read this; drained of blood, near the-"
"It wasn't them."
"Damon, of course it was them!" I said, hyperventilated, "We-I need to-"
"It was me."
It took me a while to fully acknowledge what he had said, and when I did, the newspaper fell from my loosened grasp. My stomach flipped, the same feeling one got when they were falling off somewhere.
"W-what?" I asked, suddenly feeling dizzy, "I'm sorry, I must've heard wrong-"
"No one is after you right now," He said calmly, "I was the one who killed her last night."
For almost a minute, I just stood like that, frozen. Every bone in my body was locked tight, keeping me from moving.
"You didn't…" my voice came out as a pleading whisper, "Please-Damon, please tell me you didn't…"
His blue eyes were focused on me, but he didn't say anything.
"Oh God…" I took a step back, "No, you…you can't have-" I couldn't say the rest of it, I just whirled around and ran away from the Grill, only to run into him after I took couple steps. My vision was blurry, and a lump was forming in my throat as I took a step back, holding up a hand to stop him from touching me.
"Are you serious?" he asked furiously and a sob wave shook my body.
"You killed her!"
"You knew who I was," He growled, "What did you expect, Amy? I warned you from the beginning."
I shook my head, "No, you-" I paused, "You said-"
"I said Stefan was the one who drank animal blood," He said, "And that I wasn't the one who attacked your brother. I didn't tell you anything about not drinking human blood."
"You said you make them forget!" I screamed at him, "Not that you-" I blinked back the tears, "Damon, you can't be a killer…" I begged, "Please, you just- you can't…You can't have killed her."
He clenched his teeth, "I needed to take that anger-that hunger out on someone," he said through his teeth, "Would you rather if it was your precious friend?"
I felt like my blood froze and turned into sharp pieces of glasses in my veins. He took a step towards me but I stepped backwards.
"Amy-"
"What exactly makes you different than the other vampires that night?" I asked, still in shock and he raised a brow.
"I'm not hurting you, for starters."
"You just did!"
He gave me a disbelieving look, "And what did you think would happen?" he snapped, "Huh? You think it was just immortality and super powers? You're not in some kind of a romance novel, Amy, immortality has a price!"
I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, "I didn't think you would go and start killing people as soon as we had an argument," I said, "I didn't think that price would be something I would have to share."
"Stop fooling yourself," He said coldly, "You just didn't want to think that. But somewhere inside, you always knew," He gave me a fake smirk, "Welcome to the real world, where people get hurt, Goldilocks. It was about time you opened your eyes."
A.N2: So, what do you think? Please tell me your opinions, comments, parts you liked, parts you didn't like, constructive criticism, ideas anything! =) I need to hear them!;)
Review Responses:
ashley199935: aww, thank youu=) well, I think he really can be a perv when he wants to:P heheh=)
twilight016: More like poor both of them? :P lol=)
Rowan: I've been wanting to write her finding out about witches for such a loong time=) and yeap, you will see more of bonnie soon, I think=))
