A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Lord Vile, Ghastly, Tanith, Billy-Ray, Erksine or Valkyrie. This chapter goes out to all of those who stuck around for the first 159,982 words. Thanks! Oh, for those still keeping track I listened to the theme for 'The Odd Couple' for the bulk of the chapter, then a shot of Journey's 'When The Lights Go Down' for the romantic stuff.
I woke up the next morning in Skulduggery's arms, enjoying the warmth his bones had collected from my body overnight and now radiated back to me. He was still meditating, and I was in no hurry to move. I didn't often get a chance to just look at him since prolonged staring tended to make him nervous. I didn't have so much as a photograph of him, so I used moments like these to memorize every bone, every contour, every slight dip or turn of his bones that made his skull uniquely his. To imagine that at one time I couldn't tell his skull and another apart made me blush, but I hadn't paid as much attention to him then.
He did indeed have high cheekbones, and his jaw was strong and masculine, but not in an unappealing way. His teeth were crooked on the sides of his jaws, something I found sweetly endearing. His eye sockets were wide and deep, and I wondered at times what the face that had went with them had looked like. Not that I honestly wanted to see it, but at times like now in the dim light of our bedroom those sockets could draw me into their depths. I never told Skulduggery, but the way I could always tell if he was meditating or not was if his sockets were looking at me. Now I could tell that what passed for his eyes were closed, and he was mediating peacefully.
I could never explain it to Skulduggery, but I could read his expressions and moods, even if his face was made out of bone. His eye sockets were more expressive than the eyes of most men, and his moods showed clearly on his skeletal features as if the bones could shift to express them. It was an illusion my own mind made up for me of course, but I dearly loved that illusion all the same. It let me know he was OK, even when he didn't move or respond suddenly for hours at a time.
The first time he'd done it I'd thought he'd truly died, but I realized eventually that even the great Skeleton Detective did at times, for lack of a better word, fall asleep on the job. I think he just got so bored at times that he just drifted off into meditation, so I'd learned to be almost hyper alert on stakeouts, something that annoyed Skulduggery when he was awake to no end. I sighed and stretched, as wonderful a man as my husband was (and I didn't dare even think of him as less that a husband because he would know) I still desired a shower and coffee. I decided on a shower first, wishing of course we were married already and I could tease him awake and coax him in.
Skulduggery hated getting wet of course. He said it ruined his suits, but the real reason was that it was part of the fussiness that made me adore him. We were like the Irish version of 'The Odd Couple', and he was most definitely the Felix to my Oscar. He cleaned up after me, and constantly chided me for being a slob, but I was slowly getting better, if only for his sake. Great, now I had the boppy theme song stuck in my head as I showered. It stayed there as I came out humming it, kissed his skeletal cheek and headed downstairs to make coffee. I was still humming it as the coffee brewed and I dug in the fridge for something for breakfast.
My mobile rang and I checked it. Ghastly.
"Hello, dad!"
"Hello to you too, Valkyrie. Sleep good last night?" He sounded way too cheerful.
"Yes-"
"Great! Then when can I expect to see you two?"
"What? We just saved the world. Literally. We saved the world last night. I invoke our status as Elders and demand the day off."
"That's what I'm calling about. Remember that boring meeting where they elected me and Erskine? They are going to have a nifty one just to discuss your election and Skulduggery's."
"Then we quit, let them elect someone else. You knew they'll never agree to use being Elders."
"On the contrary, most people are pulling for both of you. Having the heroes who saved the world so many times as Elders will be just the thing to ensure America, England and all the other Sanctuaries go away now that we don't need them."
"Ah. So we are elected until they leave?"
"More or less. But everyone wants to put on a nice big show on how capable we are, so get Skulduggery out of bed and manage to get to the Sanctuary around noon if not before, OK?"
"That means I have to get him moving now, the drive takes forever."
"The burdens of leadership are many, Elder Cain." Ghastly laughed and rang off.
Twenty minutes later I gulped hot coffee and wolfed down cold cereal while a sleepy Skulduggery went to his room and changed into a new suit. He came down the stairs in his usual blue suit and hat, humming the theme song to 'The Odd Couple.' He grinned at me. "You were humming that when you kissed me before. I just felt lazy and didn't want to move this morning, but Elder duty calls. We ought to be naughty and refuse our positions just to watch them grovel a little. I hate most of the people who will be there, you know."
I laughed. "Last time you said you'd shoot a lot of them if you were an Elder so I hope you packed you gun."
"Always." Skulduggery replied with a devilish grin.
The drive was uneventful and we made good time. Skulduggery checked his disguise one last time before getting out, then he laid a hand on my arm before I could move. "Don't move. I'll get your door." He came around and helped me out, and I smiled at him. He smiled back through the disguise. "We do make an odd couple, don't we?"
I blinked. "Skulduggery, did you just make a pop culture reference to something that was on TV?"
"Indeed I did. I'm just full of surprises today, aren't I?"
"That you are. Now stop humming that theme or I'll be calling you Felix in front of dad."
"Good!" Skulduggery laughed. "Because then I get to call you Oscar." He was still amused when we entered Ghastly's office. Though he did do a second take to see the cave spirit's preserved head sneering at him from the far corner of Ghastly's office.
"Good Lord, Ghastly, I thought you were kidding." He said faintly. Ghastly laughed and came around to hug me.
"It isn't every day my daughter takes the head of an opposing clan's chieftain. I can't tell you how proud I am of you, Valkyrie, you really are my own daughter, you know that by now, and you remind me strongly of your grandmother on my side of the family. She's proud of you, you know."
"She is?"
"Mmm-hmm. She came to help me during the battle. As an Elder I guess they wanted me in a leadership role, but I was never any good at standing idly by. I was doing well with my Elemental skills, but she appeared after the Bean Shide wailed. We got to fight side by side, and that's something I'll never forget."
"I'm so happy for you, dad!" I said, hugging him tightly. Ghastly smiled and ruffled my hair as he let me go.
"Tea?" He asked and I nodded. He spoke again while he put on the water. "She stayed until you came above ground, they all did, all the dead. They weren't even waiting on Skulduggery, they were waiting on you. You avenged them, all of them, when you took that thing's head."
"Technically dad-" I was going to tell him the truth, but Skulduggery stopped me with a hand on my shoulder and shook his head. Lord Vile's role was apparently going to remain a secret. He'd shed his disguise, so I could tell what he meant and nodded back.
"Hmm?" Ghastly asked, turning with tea for both me and himself.
"Technically I helped by giving moral support. The victory really belonged to Valkyrie. I just stood there, useless as usual." Skulduggery supplied.
Ghastly snorted. "Don't tell me she had to rescue you again."
"Well-" Skulduggery wasn't exactly lying. Making Vile laugh had rescued Skulduggery by preventing a mindless rampage.
Ghastly just shook his head, then looked at me fondly. "You seem to like Barry's Tea more than anything. That's the gold blend, by the way. "
I nodded. "I drink Lyons too. I guess it is like the Coke versus Pepsi thing you see Americans going on about."
"Not that you've ever let me taste either." Skulduggery grumbled. I turned to him and he happily opened his jaws so I could place a dab on his maxilla. He tilted his head, considering.
"That's it? That's what the fuss is about? I like coffee better." Ghastly and I both stared at him. "What? Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I have to drink tea. I've never seen you drink it outside this office, Valkyrie."
Ghastly looked at me and I ducked my head, feeling the heat rise to my face. "I love your tea, dad, really, and I do drink tea outside of here, occasionally. You just make it better than most people."
Skulduggery of course just sat there, wearing an innocent expression. "I still don't see what the fuss is about. So I and Valkyrie prefer coffee. It doesn't make us any less Irish."
Ghastly sighed and put his head in his hands. "Where do I even begin, Skulduggery? I can't believe you two are Elders in the Irish Sanctuary."
"I have a whole cabinet of tea at Gordon's mansion, dad. I even have stash tea, and all sorts of things to make tea with. I like tea just fine."
"Teasans aren't tea." Skulduggery said serenely.
"You drink herbal tea?" Ghastly asked with a groan.
"For medicinal purposes!" I defended myself.
"My daughter's a hippie. It explains the long hair. Where did I go wrong as a parent, Valkyrie? That's all I ask." I smiled faintly and he continued. "Well! It isn't as if you drink bubble tea, or that fancy sweet stuff they serve at coffee shops over crushed ice-"
I looked away and he put his head on his desk. "What has Ireland come to?" He asked.
When Ghastly had recovered from his shock he made sure we were ready to be the perfect Irish Elders, which meant putting more tea in front of me and making sure I drank it. Soon enough the representatives who would discuss out election arrived, thought there were only two on them, one fat and one thin, not a whole roomful, and we met in Erskine's office, not a meeting place.
The men clearly disliked Skulduggery, and he has his revolver out before they could blink. "Gentleman." He said smoothly.
The men looked at me. "Do something!" The fatter one screeched.
"As Elder I hereby decree any Elder must hit what he aims at. Who seconds the motion?" I asked blandly.
Skulduggery cocked back the hammer on his gun. "I do."
"Third?" I asked.
Ghastly smiled wickedly at the men.
"Then as Grand Mage I say the motion carries, fire at will, Elder Pleasant." Erskine said. The men's eyes bugged out and they just about tripped over one another to get out the door. Erskine laughed and turned to us happily. "You're Elders until I say otherwise. That WAS the full meeting. Too many of those cowards didn't want to face Elder Pleasant the day after an epic battle."
"Well, not exactly epic, Erskine." Skulduggery said modestly, holstering his gun.
Erskine smiled. "Easy for you to say. The only women who threw themselves at me last night were dead and rotting or fresh off the autopsy table. I'm loosing my touch. I always knew it would happen if I got older." He knew better than to fish for a compliment from me in front of Skulduggery. Erskine had a well-deserved reputation as a ladies' man. But luckily for me I had muscle with me. The Grand Mage was also well aware Ghastly would kill him as well. The truth was he wasn't interested in me and we both knew it, but it still wounded his pride to have women who could resist his charms.
"But Erskine, they wanted you for your brains. That should make you happy." I teased and he laughed.
"Doesn't it just? I have nothing else to do today, honestly, and neither do any of you, so why don't we knock off for the day? The Sanctuary is officially closed anyhow."
We all agreed and I was following Skulduggery out of the office when Ghastly put a hand on my shoulder and leaned in to me. "Your dress is almost finished, a few days more at most." I gave him a quick hug of thanks and he ruffled my hair affectionately.
Skulduggery had stopped to wait for me, and cocked his head as he put his disguise back on.
"The dress is almost finished. A few days at most." I swore his bones actually moved this time beneath the disguise into a massive grin.
"Good." He whispered softly before leaning in to kiss me.
Skulduggery had stopped at Yeh Yeh's for Chinese take away and we were soon home on the couch watching the cooking channel. Skulduggery had his jacket off and his tie was undone. I leaned back into him as I ate, obliging him with small tastes every so often. He nuzzled into me affectionately, holding the container of tea for me, taking occasional tastes with a skeletal finger.
"This is wonderful." I said, settling back into him more fully after setting the empty carton down. "I never thought I'd get to just relax and eat with you in front of the TV."
"We are eating together, aren't we?" He asked, nuzzling into me, the now empty cup set aside. He looped his arms around me, his hands finding mine and laughed softly. "I seem to remember us both jumping when my mobile went off. Do you remember?"
I turned my head into him, breathing in his cologne and the scent of wool and bone. "Yes, I do remember." I said softly. "We were just about to kiss for the first time if I recall correctly."
"I still want to jump every time you kiss me. I still can't believe you're here in my arms, Valkyrie." He murmured gently in my ear.
"I know. If I ever press my head into you too tightly or squeeze your hands too hard it's because I'm making sure you are really there." I said, reaching up a hand to touch the side of his skull, and he pressed his skull deeply into my hand as he always did, craving affection. I turned around to embrace him, suddenly just as shy as the first time we had kissed. Skulduggery looked just as nervous and ducked his skull. I caressed the sides of his skull and felt him shiver slightly. I touched his cheek bones and he made a faint cooing sound.
He was nervous and his hollow eye sockets looked at me trustingly. Skulduggery was trusting me not to hurt him, and the thought caused a sweet pain in my heart. Who had ever hurt him so badly that he was this wild and distrustful? I sincerely hoped it wasn't me and I closed my eyes before kissing him softly. Skulduggery returned the kiss, ever so gently, his skeletal hands tenderly cradling my head. I reached my own hands up to hold his skull with my fingertips, and I heard him make another soft cooing sound.
"You truly love me, don't you?" He asked, caressing my face when we at last parted. I nodded, biting my lip. "Do you trust me, my dearest Valkyrie?" He asked softly, his gaze tender.
"Yes, yes, I do Skulduggery. With that thing dead, it's like all the feelings I had for you- I'm sure of myself now. I'm sure you're the one I want to marry. I love you, Skulduggery Pleasant, and I can't imagine my life without you."
He kissed me again, so sweetly that I had to cuddle into him afterwards. "I love you, Valkyrie Cain. I know how difficult I've been, but with that thing dead I can tell you now how very much I adore you." His teeth found my lips again, and we parted with a happy sigh.
We spent the rest of the day on the couch, me feeding Skulduggery from various cartons, enjoying the chance to be together. Skulduggery would caress my hair, or we'd hold hands. Sometimes we kissed and held one another, but each time it was like the first time we'd ever kissed. These small things that so many couples took for granted, we were reveling in them.
Neither of us had expected to leave that cave alive, and now we enjoyed every single moment we had together, realizing how very lucky we were. Because if Lord Vile hadn't been in love with me, he would never had shown up to attack in a mindless, possessive rage, and had I not loved him just as much I'd have never killed the thing.
For I didn't kill it to save the world, or because it had killed so many people. Not even because it was evil. It had tried to hurt the man I loved. It had tried to take my sweet Skulduggery away from me and it had dared be in the presence of my beloved Lord Vile, and I would not tolerate either action. I knew Lord Vile was evil. I knew how truly close the world had come to destruction. But I'd also known the world wouldn't see him again for a very long time. He had gazed at me after I'd ripped the thing's head off in a sheer rage and laughed.
I'd went to him in the darkness, still clutching my prize, refusing to relinquish it, even to him, and his gaze had been one of adoration. Lord Vile loved me, but the battle frenzied killer in me he adored. He'd kissed me softly, for what I could tell was the final time, not even bothering to remove my armour first. His shadows had encircled me, roamed over me in the darkness, a final caress. Then he had stepped back and Skulduggery had tilted up his visor. "That was a near thing. You're lucky Lord Vile loves seeing himself in you." He'd murmured. Then he'd kissed me too.
I came back to the present gradually, realizing I had drifted to sleep for a while. Skulduggery was mediating underneath me, so I just closed my eyes and drifted off in his skeletal arms.
We both woke up eventually, wrapped in each other's embrace, and Skulduggery gave me a lazy smile. He kissed me tenderly, and I returned his affections. "I bet your dress is almost ready. Are you as excited as I am?" He murmured. I nodded.
"Even more, I think. God, Skulduggery, I still can't belive you agreed to marry me. How did I ever get so lucky?"
He laughed and cuddled me to him, then helped me into a sitting position. "I'm the lucky one, Valkyrie. You're stuck with me. But me? I get you, so therefore, I win." We picked up the empty cartons and cup we'd accumulated, or rather Skulduggery did. I got up and stretched lazily, looking at the TV that was still playing softly. I shut it off and followed Skulduggery into the kitchen. "Coffee?" He asked, and I nodded. He continued, his back towards me. "Sorry about the whole tea thing in Ghastly's office. I didn't mean to get you in trouble with him. I still don't see what the fuss is about."
"I know. Dad is old-fashioned. I think all the new ways to have tea are a good thing. But he likes to keep things simple."
"So I noticed. Did you notice Tanith was missing? I know she works at the Sanctuary now and can't hang out in his office, but her absence worried me."
I sighed. "Maybe seeing Billy-Ray there brought back bad feelings for dad. Tanith wasn't exactly wise enough to keep her fool mouth shut over what the Remnant did with Billy-Ray."
Skulduggery cursed. "If she turns up missing the way she likes to when things get heavy, Ghastly will assume the worst."
I took out my mobile and looked at him. He nodded. Her bike was in front of Ghastly's shop. It was only early evening, so I rang her. Tanith answered cheerfully. "Hello sis, what's up?"
"We missed you at the Sanctuary today."
"Right, Ghastly made me stay home, above the shop." Her voice was muffled like she was eating and I cringed in disgust.
"Why did he make you stay home? You didn't get hurt, did you?"
"No, but he's being nervous and over protective of me now that I'm-" She trailed off, and I gasped, covering my mouth before I shrieked in front of Skulduggery.
"Are you sure? I asked happily.
"Yes, he made me see a Sanctuary doctor and everything when we found out early this morning, then he drove me right back home. This doesn't make you think any less of either of us, does it?"
"God, of course not! Why would it?"
"Well, were not married yet, and you know, I just don't want you hating me. I didn't do this to trick him into marrying me, you know."
"I never though you did, sis. I know you love him and I know he adores you. What date do you two have set up?"
"About that, well, your father, I mean Ghastly, I mean-"
I looked over at Skulduggery who had of course heard everything and he shrugged. I nodded and spoke into the mobile. "A double wedding is fine, sis. You can tell dad he can start breathing again and go make you two some tea."
She giggled, and I heard her murmur something to him. I got the sense she had handed her own mobile over, and it was confirmed when Ghastly's voice came on the line. "So you aren't mad at your old man? You aren't disappointed?"
"Dad! I love both of you, I'm glad you're happy. You both deserve to have somebody to love. Plus I get a little sister or brother out of this, so I don't see anything to be upset about."
"Two little brothers or sisters, or one of each, we aren't sure yet."
"Twins?" I asked, this time unable to stop the squeal of excitement that came out of me. I heard Ghastly laugh softly and Tanith gave and answering squeal and he handed the mobile back over.
We chatted a bit more, than rang off. Skulduggery just sat watching me, a perturbed expression on his features. "Please don't ever make a sound like that again. I don't even know why women find that appealing. My ears are bleeding!"
He massaged the sides of his skull, shooting me annoyed looks. I was smiling back, then my smile faded. "Skulduggery, do we know that Billy-Ray actually left Ireland?" I asked warily.
"No, we don't and he wasn't too thrilled when we rescued Tanith and removed the Remnant if you'll recall. Call your father, we're going over there now."
I dialed Ghastly hurriedly, and he sounded amused when he picked up.
"Dad? We have no idea if Billy-Ray left Ireland or not. We're on our way, keep Tanith safe." He cursed, then thanked me for the call, promising to make some of his own, and rang off. Skulduggery and I were out the door and to the Bentley, hoping we wouldn't be too late.
Well, you didn't think Billy-Ray would just give up on Tanith, did you? Is there ever going to be a wedding at this rate? Not even I know for sure, and I can't wait to find out.
