Good day, happy summer, enjoy.

Jacob POV

I could umbrella all of my thoughts tonight into three categories.

Thought category number one: What do I do when I see her? It seems like such a monumental moment that it cannot be carried out by real life. Will I run to her? Should I? Then again, how could I resist if she stood so close, if she was so reachable?

I flashed around the house, moving pillows and checking on things such as if the lights in the third floor hall still worked. I repeatedly filled Truman's food bowl.

(My parents had taken Truman with them when they took me home because he was otherwise abandoned. His instincts made him either terrified or aggressive towards my family, but he was very fond of me, as always. During my depressed fog, he stayed close although I wasn't aware. He lives in my room now. He was going to stay there for a while so he can stay away from the vampires and the vampires can stay away from him. Even veggie vamps don't have pets.)

I was restless as a side effect from all the variables in my very near future. I was searching for some control.

Would she remember me? Would she want to see me?

I became more increasingly worried about my personal stink.

So I took a shower…

The second umbrella of thoughts is pondering and analyzing every possible way Adrian's encounter with my family members tonight could go.

Such highlights include:

What if she attacks them?

What if the other vampires in Seattle cause complications?

What if Kyle doesn't let want to go with us?

What if she doesn't want to be a vegetarian?

What if she doesn't want to date a werewolf who smells bad and worries too much?

What if sees them and runs away because she doesn't want to see her smelly ex-boyfriend?

So I took another shower…

The final umbrella of thoughts are me trying to prepare myself mentally for what I am going to see tonight if Mom, Edward, and Alice are successful in bringing her home.

I know she will look different. Her features will be sharper and her beauty more outright than before. I know her eyes will be a shocking ruby red instead of the warm dark brown of before.

She will be a lot stronger than me, and her emotions will be all over the place according to Jasper. Calm will not be one of these emotions. I was told to expect fear and a quick temper.

If Mom even lets me that close. Her wary eyes say it all. She doesn't want me in a mile's radius of a vampire we aren't related to after James.

But too bad. I will be as close to Adrian as my imprint allows me.

My brothers are wary about this too. They think I need a healthy dose of fear so Adrian's new strength and lack of control doesn't kill me. They don't understand how this is ever going to work, how we can make each other happy. We are both immortal and supernatural creatures, but we're also natural enemies. Perhaps our instincts and the imprint will be at war for the rest of eternity.

Eagle and fish, cat and dog, lion and lamb…

I may love her, they say, but how can I be with one of them?

I don't think this would have worked with anyone but me. I am the prime example of a leechlover, after all.

Bella came over to stay with me for a while, listen to my concerns. She was very sincerely worried about me, but I knew her presence had a lot to do with Edward's absence. She was very optimistic about Adrian's state. I wondered if this had anything to do with her own ideals on the vampire lifestyle she wanted to adopt in the near future.

Bella was still adamant on that point. I opposed this just as much, especially with the date she wanted, but I found less passion in my argument. I don't love her like I did then. Yet I have also heard about Edward's little marriage proposal(s) and think they're ridiculous. If Bella is leaving the human world, let her leave behind her reputation.

Gwen even called. She had less understanding of what had and what has about to happen, but she still sent positive sentiments. I appreciated them, as futile as they were.

I sat on the stairs near Edward's piano platform, fiddling on the keys when I got bored. Bella told me that waiting by the window made me resemble a dog eager for his owner's arrival.

My family tried to be helpful as they could. Esme checked on me a lot throughout the night. She left food near me which I gobbled quickly due to nerves. Carlisle came home from work and spoke encouragements to me. I nodded and tried soaking them in, but alas, no solace. Jasper was always close with a soothing wave. Maybe it was the power of imprint paranoia, but even that didn't work well. Dad tried coaxing me into different ways to pass the time, but I remained at my post.

Bella left when she was cutting close to her curfew and after she tried a few more attempts at reassurance.

All these attempts failed because nothing was going to be able to prepare me for seeing her again. I knew this stubborn truth. I knew I would be relieved and filled with joy like I never had known before because I truly believed that is what happened when the worst agony of your life has a sudden end. I decided just to take it when it comes because I didn't know how to really prepare. I couldn't get myself hyped up because I was still on edge with worry so I resigned to the waiting.

I was almost at peace with this decision when I heard their car. I sprung up from my seat and swung the front door open, stepping into the humid June air.

I listened intently. The car stopped before I could see it through the trees. Mom was at the bottom of the porch in a moment.

"Jacob," she said. I recognized the tone. It was the bad news tone. The one she gave every time we had to move, every time I couldn't do something normal for the sake of secrecy. The tone had a tradition of disappointing me.

"She's not here," Mom said gently. A boulder in my stomach formed.

"Did you find her?" I asked, voice quivering between sobs and angry screams.

"Yes. But she couldn't come back."

"Why not?" I exclaimed. She couldn't? Was it me? Was it because of the change? Because I don't care. I wanted her in any form.

"Kyle lost all memory of her, and she felt that she needed to stay behind, watch out for him. She's going to try and make him remember, but if he doesn't before the battle, we'll make sure she never gets into the fray. You're getting her back, but I don't know when. But you'll get her back. I'll make sure of that, honey."

Then she hugged me before I crumpled to the ground.

I had worried about this, but I had spent my time preparing to open myself up to the joy and relief of having her back.

Disappointment was a shot in the gut. My body started shaking, and I tried to will it not to phase. Not here, not now. I just wanted to sleep because all of a sudden, I was more exhausted than I have ever been.

Mom caught my slumping body easily and started rubbing my back. I accepted her cold embrace and once the shaking stopped, I moved on to attempting to stop my watery eyes from spilling over. I didn't want to cry because weeping meant acceptance.

I felt like I had just walked out of the ring with a prizefighter, and I never got to swing a punch. I was tired of all this, all of the pain coming at me then retreating like water, allowing me to stand up before coming back harder.

So I went under the waves.

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