IN THE SHADOW OF DEATH
CHAPTER 46
When Jess opened the front door, he was met with the irresistible aroma of oven roasted beef. As he hung his hat on the rack, he noticed that Slim's gun belt wasn't there.
"It's just me," he called out to Daisy who stuck her head out of the kitchen.
"At least you're on time!" she said, amused.
"I always am when there's somethin' to eat. Have you seen Slim?"
"No. Isn't he outside?"
"Nope. But don't worry. He'll be here as soon as he gets a whiff of that roast beef."
"Oh, you!" She waved him away with her wooden spoon and disappeared into the kitchen.
Jess went into the office and jabbed the freight receipts from the post office onto the skinny steel spike on the desk. The books and journals were neatly laid out, the pen and papers in orderly lines beside them, but Slim wasn't there.
Jess ran up the stairs to take his saddlebags to his room. The second floor was hot and stuffy because the windows were still closed against the heat of the day. Jess pushed one of them open to let in some fresh air. Glancing outside, he saw Slim on the hill behind the house. He was standing on the exact spot where Jess told his partner to bury him so many months ago.
"What's he doing up there?'" Jess thought, frowning. He suspected that Slim was still brooding about the past. "He's as bad as I am, but I've had enough of it - and so has he." Resolved, he clattered down the stairs. He shouted, "I'm going back outside, Daisy!" as he jerked the back door open. "Got somethin' I need to do."
"Dinner will be ready in half an hour," Daisy called back, but Jess was already gone.
The hill behind the house was a steep one, covered with brush and small boulders. Jess climbed it, unnoticed by the family below or his partner above. When he got to the top, he saw Slim gazing into the distance, lost in thought. The rancher didn't acknowledge Jess' presence until his partner was a few yards away and only then because Jess rattled around in the shrubs like a bull in a china shop as he as he approached. Despite the noise, Slim didn't turn to look at him. It seemed like he was waiting for Jess to come to him.
"What in the sam hill are you doin' up here?" Jess complained as he struggled over loose rocks and spiky grass to stand beside him. "I know it ain't for the view."
"It's worth it once you get here," Slim said, still not looking at him.
"Sure it is. But that ain't why you're up here. How come I got the feelin' you been waitin' for me?"
"Hoping you'd come is more like it." Slim looked at him with the trace of embarrassment in his smile. "I'm glad you found me."
"Damn it, Slim! What's wrong with you? You're startin' to do what I finally stopped doin' - or at least, what I'm tryin' to stop doin'."
"What's that?"
"You know what I'm talkin' about - gettin' down in the dumps every five minutes." Jess laid a friendly hand on Slim's shoulder. "I think you might headin' in that same direction."
"The truth is…" Slim hesitated and glanced at Jess. Then he plunged ahead, "I hoped you'd see me up here and follow me. I wanted to talk to you without everybody else around."
"What about?" Jess asked, even though he already had a good idea what it was. "You look like you been to a funeral. You're standin' up here where I told you I wanted to be buried. That probably ain't no accident."
"You're right." Slim struggled to smile, but his eyes were sad. It was as if he were caught between two feelings. "I did bury something up here. Or at least, I tried to."
Jess' mouth quirked to the side. "You buried somethin'? " he quipped. "You look so mournful, I think you're sorry you didn't have a real funeral to go."
Slim's jerked around. He felt like he'd been slapped until he saw the mischievous glint in Jess' eyes. "Am I that bad?" he asked, his face softening into a smile.
"Yeah, you are, damn it!"
"Sorry. I guess I got lost in my thoughts."
"Well, how about gettin' unlost? You want to talk to me, and here I am. Just make it quick, or we're gonna miss out on that roast beef Daisy is cookin' up." He looked at Slim expectantly. He had a feeling Slim wasn't as sad as he seemed.
His partner grinned.
"Dadgum!" Jess said with relief. "You want to tell me what's goin' on?"
"I couldn't get in a word edgewise with you hogging the conversation!" Slim shot back.
"Hoggin' the conversation!" Jess gave him a playful punch in the side. "I was doin' the talkin' for both of us!"
"And you were doing a good job, too!" The rancher slapped Jess' midriff with the back of his hand. "How did it go in town today? Did you get us an appointment with Majors?"
Jess knew Slim was stalling, but he played along. "It went OK. We have an appointment Friday morning at ten o'clock. He said there wouldn't be a problem with the mortgage. He'll give us a good rate."
"That's good news. "
"Yeah." Jess followed Slim to a small boulder and sat down beside him. "I went to see Wentridge, too. He said he can enter the land into the Register as soon as we bring him the signed mortgage papers."
"Even better." With pride and satisfaction, Slim said, "We'll be the owners of the Minarrow land by this time next week." He was deeply grateful that he could share this success with his partner. All their years of tireless effort had finally paid off. Most importantly, Jess was here with him, alive and well.
"This afternoon, Mike and me rode over there to take a look at it," Jess said.
"Yeah?"
"We won't have to worry about water anymore. And we won't have to buy winter food. We got a real bargain."
"We got lucky. The folks who inherited that property didn't know anything about ranching. Land like that doesn't come on the market very often."
"It's gonna be a lot of extra work. The fences have to be restrun, and the barn and some other sheds have burned down. Probably got hit by lightning."
"They did. I saw the smoke and rode over there about a month ago. There wasn't anything worth trying to save. We didn't buy the land for the buildings anyway. As for the extra work, we've got Charlie around now to help out." He gave Jess a questioning glance, "Did you get to met him?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"And nothin'. He seems like a good man. Knows what to and goes ahead and does it."
"You're saying he can stay?"
"Sure."
"Did you tell him that?"
"Loud and clear!" Jess grinned. "But I told him there was one condition."
"And what would that be?"
"That he quit callin' me Mr. Harper!"
"Did he?"
"On the spot!"
"I'd of been surprised if he hadn't! He's a pretty smart guy. I hope we can keep him on."
"He'll hang around just to eat Daisy's good cookin'. He likes it."
"You know anybody that doesn't?"
"Nobody that I know of. But even if Charlie stays, we're gonna need a couple more hands to take care of the Minarrow land. Besides, I'm not gonna be able to help with the heavy stuff until next fall accordin' to Tyler."
"Don't worry. I'll make sure you obey doctor's orders. There's plenty for you to do right here close to home. You can take care of the relay business, for one thing - at least as long as the company keeps running the stages. Even if they do, I think we ought to drop the contract."
"We could talk to Kellington about it when we go to town Friday, but he won't be there. He's away on company business."
"You're in favor of dropping the contract?"
"Have been for a while. Kellington can hire somebody if he wants to keep it going, but with the new land, we won't have time for it."
"Did you go by to see Doc Higgins?"
"Yep. He was damned glad to see me. And I saw Mort." He gave Slim a suspicious look. "Why didn't you tell me about the dance on Saturday night?"
"I…." Slim stopped. In all the excitement of their reunion this morning, he really hadn't thought about it, but he decided to play along. "Guess you caught me, partner. Some things I just rather keep to myself."
"It don't matter," Jess said, enjoying their banter. "I found out about it anyway, no thanks to you!"
"And you probably already have a date, right?"
"Somethin' wrong with that?" Jess broke off some stalks of grass. He carefully sorted through them and picked one to stick between his teeth. "It ain't that big of a deal."
"Knock it off, Jess!" Slim said seriously. "You're acting like…."
"Like what?"
"...like nothing…. I'm glad you're going."
"Me, too. Maybe we'll finally put all this behind us."
Jess chewed on his blade of grass and stared quietly at the horizon. Slim watched him for a moment, then said, "Mort told me Miss Finch asked about you a couple of times. More than a couple. She was really worried about you."
"Yeah, he told me the same thing."
Slim kept eyeing him. "I think you like her."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!" Slim punched Jess on the shoulder. "I think she likes you, too."
"You don't have to keep hittin' me!" Jess complained and landed an elbow in his partner's side. "I'll be limpin' so bad I can't even dance. Anyway…." He leaned back, contemplative again, "...it don't mean nothin'. I might go out with her a time or two, but that's about it."
"Sure, partner, sure," Slim said, teasing him. "Hey! Did you hear that Clem Brittfield got married?"
"Mort told me. What's that got to do with anything?"
"Nothing," Slim declared with a grin. "But maybe you ought to start thinking about it. Getting enough timber to build a new house can take a while."
"You're loco."
"Seriously, Jess, she's a pretty woman and she's smart. I think she'd be a good match for you."
"How come everybody is tryin' to get me hitched up with Miss Finch? Even Mike! And now you! Is there somethin' I don't know?"
"No, but…if she likes you and you like her, what would be wrong with…."
"Look, Slim, there's a big difference between likin' somebody and lovin' them. I ain't ready to buy any timber yet. If things start headin' that way, you'll be the first to know."
"All right, then. That suits me. It would be too damn dull in the house without you anyway. I've had enough of you not being there."
"Don't tell me you missed my nighttime coughin' fits."
Slim sobered up. "No," he said, the muscles in his jaw twitching. "I don't miss that."
"Me either."
"And it's not something to joke about."
"No argument there."
They both stopped talking and sat side by side in companionable silence, each absorbed more in thoughts about the future than memories of the past. The only sound was the evening breeze that rustled through the grass around them, carrying with it the scent of sage.
After a while, Jess said quietly, "Slim, now that we've hashed through everything else, what're you really wantin' to talk about?"
Slim turned his head to look at him but didn't say anything, unable to find the words for something that was so important to him.
Jess read the tension in his partner's face. "It must be somethin' that's pretty hard for you to talk to me about, partner."
"It's not you," Slim snapped, using anger to overcome his muteness. "It's...it's just.."
Jess took a guess, a good one. "It's about buryin' me with that damn bullet, right?"
Slim frowned and gave a quick nod.
"Well, hey…." Jess cajoled, "...I ain't dead yet and I'm not planning' to be anytime soon, so…..," he gave Slim a look that was both gentle and insistent, "...you don't have to worry about that anymore."
Even this directness didn't shake Slim out of his mute condition, causing Jess to do some worrying of his own - about Daisy's dinner. If he couldn't hurry Slim up, he might miss it. With a quick swipe, he ran his hand across the pocket on Slim's shirt. The only thing he felt was the watch he'd given Slim this morning. "You threw it away, didn't you?" he asked, a smile glimmering in his eyes.
"Yeah," was Slim's one-word reply.
"You must'a had one hell of a fight to give it up. You look like you lost your best friend."
Slim's jaw clenched some more, and he looked down.
"Holy cow!" Jess groaned. This one sided conversation was hard to keep going. He jostled Slim's arm, trying to get a response out of him. "It might'a been easier to bury me."
"I told you it's not funny!" Slim said, glaring at him.
"I got to do somethin' to get you talkin"! Dadgum it! You need to get over this!"
"I threw it away, didn't I?" The clenched muscles in Slims' jaws were working overtime.
"You don't seem real happy about it."
Frowning, Slim said, "It's… it's just… God help me, Jess, I don't know if I'll ever get over it."
"Slim! I've told you a hundred times I don't blame you! It's never crossed my mind, even when I was out of my head with fever. But if you got to feel guilty about somethin', why don't you do some ponderin' about the rest of it."
Stone-faced, Slim said, "I threw that bullet away, but I'll never forget what it did - and how I let it happen."
Jess thought for a minute. "Well, maybe you ought'a quit tryin' so hard. Then maybe you can see the whole picture. What you did for me in Colorado Springs made up for anything you think you might be guilty of. You just ain't seen that part of it yet."
"That's a nice thought," Slim said dismissively.
"It's the way it is. You know it, or you wouldn't have thrown that damn thing away. You're just too stubborn to admit it."
Slim waved a hand, trying to brush Jess' words away. He stared straight ahead for a minute. Then he shrugged his shoulders in a faint, unwilling acknowledgment of what Jess said. "You could look at it that way."
"I do."
"Well, I hope you haven't got in your head that I came to Colorado Springs because I had a guilty conscience!"
Jess sat up with a jerk. "Sometimes you ain't got the sense God gave a goose!" he shouted, at wit's end. "If I thought that, do you think I'd be sittin' here right now? You would've buried me up here instead!" He took a deep breath and slowed down. "Look, Slim. I can't explain what happened at that hospital. All I know is I was at death's door and it was you that pulled me away from it. I'm alive because you were there. If there'd been anything that wasn't right between us, any kind of bad feelin' or blame, I wouldn't be here now."
"Maybe you're right about that - but if I'd acted sooner, you wouldn't have been in that kind of shape."
"You got things twisted up, Slim," Jess said. His voice grew as warm as the summer sun. "You can't be blamed for something bad happenin' that you can't do anything about - like the attack. But when I needed you most, when nobody could help me but you, when you really could help me, you did. That's what counts with me, partner, the only thing, and that's the only thing that ought to count with you."
Jess put his hand on Slim's shoulder, gripping it gently enough to emphasize the caring behind what he'd said but hard enough to send a message that he wasn't in the mood to tolerate any more arguments - especially since he could tell his words had finally made an impact. Slim's lips were clamped together, and he was staring at a blade of grass on the ground.
At last, Slim raised his head. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped, he turned and looked at Jess with a bashful smile. Jess tilted his head and looked back at him, a smile of his own in his eyes. Then, they both grinned. They understood each other.
Slim reached into his pocket and pulled out the gold watch. "You know, Jess," he said, "when I put this in my pocket, all of a sudden there wasn't enough room for that bullet." He weighed the clock in his hand, looking at it with astonishment. "It was kind of like the gold and the lead couldn't stand being next to each other."
"It wasn't the gold and the lead that didn't go together - it was what they stood for. We ain't never gonna forget what happened, but we got to let it go. If we don't, we won't be able to do all the things we've talked about doin' for years. Everything we've been through will have been for nothin'."
Slim didn't say anything for a minute. Then, as if he'd finally seen the light at the end of a very long tunnel, he said, "You're right, Jess." He slipped the watch back into his pocket and put his hand on Jess' shoulder. Sitting there together on the rock, they looked like conspirators who'd agreed upon a plan of action. With a teasing smile, Slim said, "Anyway, you explained everything like a natural born preacher. I couldn't have said it better myself."
Jess looked at him in disbelief. "As I remember it, you didn't even try! And...," he said grinning, "...don't tell me you couldn't get a word in edgewise!"
"You wouldn't let me!"
They both laughed. The tension had broken.
Jess shook his head. "This is the thanks I get for talkin' myself blue in the face tryin' to get you on the right track again!"
"Well," Slim drawled, "as my old grand pappy used to say, 'Eaten bread is soon forgotten. ' "
Jess frowned, trying to figure this out.
"Your grandpappy?"
"Yep!" Slim grinned at him.
"Well, in that case…," Jess grinned back at him, "...maybe there's truth it, whatever the heck it means!"
They hit each other hard the shoulder, both of them laughing like two schoolboys.
Jess stood up first. He took a deep breath and stretched out wide as he took in the view of the rolling plains in front of him. "You know, from up here you can see the river," he said, blinking into the light of the setting sun. A shining ribbon of water snaked along the distant horizon. "I never noticed that before."
Slim stood up and came to stand beside him. "I've never noticed it either. The air must be really clear today,"
"We ought'a come here more often just to enjoy the view instead of always chasin' after some stray stuck in the bushes somewhere."
"Yeah. We should."
They stood in silence for a moment gazing at the fertile land that they now owned.
Jess turned to look down at the ranch house and the buildings and corrals around it. "Do notice somethin' else?" he said, almost reverently.
"What am I supposed to notice?" Slim asked, following his gaze.
"There's no shadow over the house."
"What shadow?"
"The shadow of death."
Alarmed, Slim took a look at him, studying him anxiously. Was his partner getting pulled back into the darkness they'd just left? But to his relief, Jess's face was calm, showing no sign of distress. In fact, he seemed pleased with himself and with the world. It was as if he was pointing out something obvious, something good.
"The best thing is…," Slim said, "...it's not hanging over you."
"It's not hangin' over any of us. It's not comin' between us."
"Is that what it did?"
"No!" Jess said. The unwavering certainty in his voice put Slim's fears to rest. "Otherwise, I would be buried up here instead of standin' up here beside you."
Slim rested his hand on Jess' back. "I'm glad to hear that, partner. We can enjoy Daisy's dinner a lot better that way!"
"No argument there, Jess agreed fervently. He took a deep breath of fresh Wyoming air. At last, he felt free of all the adversities that had threatened his life for the past nine months - because now he knew for sure that Slim was free, too.
Shoulder to shoulder, deeply connected, Slim and Jess stood silently on the hillside looking down on all they had created together over eight years of unrelenting hard work. Their faces were flooded with the warm glow of the ending day. In its light, two pairs of blue eyes shone with confidence. The two partners had plenty of time ahead of them to enjoy all the adventures life would bring their way
The End of Part III
and
The End of the Story
