I had the weirdest dream last night. It started with Neji yelling at Naruto for cheering for Hinata during the Chuunin preliminaries and suddenly turned into the entire cast of Naruto doing the full cheer routine from the Lucky Star anime. Damn that would be a demented cosplay skit…
Where
the Hell Are We Now!
By
Kaori
"No, no, no! The couch goes over there and the ottoman goes over here!" Gina pouted. Neji and Kiba rolled their eyes but did as they were told.
Naruto had quite adamantly argued against solely using his kagebunshins to do the work; especially since he was beginning to discover the hidden drawback / benefit of the technique: anything the clones do he gets memories of once they've been dispelled plus the feelings of pain and exhaustion.
Unable to change his mind on the matter, the Kejibi had no choice but to shell out money to hire the other genin to assist.
Lee seemed to be the only one who didn't mind, seeing as he saw everything as an opportunity to train. Case in point, he was single-handedly moving the new stove into the kitchen.
"If I cannot get this stove into the kitchen in the next two minutes," he panted. "I will move all the furniture into the study by myself!"
"That kid's a maniac…" muttered Bradley, as he and Chouji put down the new carpet in the guest bedroom.
While all this activity was going on downstairs, Kotorra decided that she'd best stay out of everyone's way seeing as she wasn't able to help. She was just going to sit in her room and look through the applications for the restaurant, but was startled by the sound of the intersteller communicator beeping.
In all honesty she'd completely forgotten about thething, especially with all that business with Sasuke. Gingerly she picked it up and put it on.
"Is anybody there?" a male voice she didn't recognize (not that she expected to) asked in flawless Takisian. This was even more of a surprise. Cautiously, she answered.
"Yes, who is this and from where are you hailing?"
"Oh, how fortuitous!" bubbled the voice. "I wasn't certain I had the correct frequency. My name is Rillarian brant Hurapath sek Aracor sek Naleth sek…"
"Look, why don't I just call you "Rillarian" it'll save time." Sighed Kotorra. Even after all this time, Takisians still had such ridiculously cumbersome names. Although he was a lot more excitable than any Takisian she'd met. Then again she'd only ever met one other…
"Err…yes. I suppose that would. And what should I call you?" he asked. She thought about telling him to call her by her old callsign but thought better of it.
"For now you can call me Lady K. And you still haven't told me where you are transmitting from, although I'll hazard a guess and say a Takisian ship."
"That is correct." Rillarian acknowledged. "Have you met a Takisian before."
"I used to work with one, a long time ago. You're trying my patience Rilliarian, why have you contacted me and how did you even know to try this communication channel?"
"I believe that is best explained from the beginning…"
And he told her how after she had gotten into contact with the Laraxians, they had informed the Galactic Tribunal that there was a human on Earth with the capability to contact space cruisers.
"They were quite surprised as none of you have ever possessed the technology and of the few non-Earthlings that were living on your planet that did, all but one left your planet before the disaster that befell it. Which begs the question of how you know what you do."
"Tell you what, I'll answer that question if you answer one of mine first." She stated. "How long ago was this "disaster" you mentioned?"
"Let's see, I'd say that was a little over a thousand of your planet's years."
Kotorra felt like her heart stopped. When she'd recovered her wits she said, "I was part of The Network." Apparently her reply was just as shocking to him as his had been to her. And she said as much.
"Youare human, are you not?" Rillarian sounded confused. "Wait a moment, The Enhancer! Were you exposed to it? Is that how you managed to live so long?"
"Answering your questions in order: yes and no. My presence here now is due to an accident of which I am uncertain of the specifics but somehow threw myself and two of my friends forward in time." Far forward in time. She thought to herself. "I was born some sixty-six years after your people's original experiment on my planet."
"Ah that would mean that you are one of the first hyper-sapiens."
"Hyper-sapiens?"
"Yes. Your Wild Card is part of your DNA, yes?" asked the Takisian.
"Correct."
"You were born with the virus, the first generation was not, and the second generation passed on a less virulent strain with fewer and fewer jokers being born with horrendous defects, and far fewer people dying from awakening the virus. Your generation was the beginning of what would become a glorious age in your planet's history."
"So what happened? If everything was so great how did it all end up like… this?"
Rillarian was quiet for a few moments.
"She returned."
Kotorra blinked. "She"? Kotorra racked her brain for a few moments. In her lifetime the only serious threat to the entire planet during her lifetime was…
"The Swarm Mother…" she whispered, shivering.
Ignorant of the conversation upstairs, the genins, Gina, and Bradley continued to work. Lee had eventually managed to get the stove into the kitchen (albeit not before his self-imposed time limit) and was now removing the old furniture out of the study making sure to be especially careful with the desk; Kotorra really wanted to keep it much to the puzzlement of the assembled ninja.
"Ugh, I never want to see wallpaper for the rest of my life." Complained Sakura. Ino nodded her agreement.
"Too bad," Gina jeered from where she was fixing cracks in the walls with her power. She had found mending stone was a lot easier than trying to shape it. "We're going to need someone to help us put in the new wallpaper tomorrow."
"To hell with that!" chorused the girls.
A bell rang in the hallway, signaling someone was at the door.
"I'll get it!" yelled Naruto, eager to get away from carrying furniture outside for a little bit.
"They told me I'd find you here." Said the person at the door.
"ERO-SENNIN! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" roared Naruto, jumping on the much taller man, knocking him to the ground. He then proceeded to beat the sennin about the head with his fists while yelling at him to go help Sasuke.
Hearing all the commotion, Bradley came to the door and asked Jiraiya if he'd seen Tsunade yet. When the older man answered to the negative, the male joker immediately turned into a Shiba inu and chased the poor man towards the Hokage Tower; growling and snapping at his posterior the entire way. Naruto was about to go after them but was stopped by Shino's hand on his shoulder.
"Naruto," he said. "we are not finished here yet."
The blonde groaned; Shino was quite possibly the sixth most annoying person he knew. Right after Ino and before Shikamaru.
On the other side of the village, a seemingly deserted mansion sat. The sole inhabitant and her guards were blissfully unaware of the person approaching the building until it was far too late to stop him.
Kabuto had retained his disguise as it would serve to confuse anyone who may pursue him once he'd captured the girl. Getting into the mansion was a simple matter of utilizing information his current enemies were unaware he had.
As the ANBU guarding the premises were under the (false) presumption that no one outside of the village or the Kurama clan knew about the secret escape tunnels, they had no reason to guard them. More fool them. Of course, now he had to make sure they didn't see him as he prowled the building looking for Yakumo.
Said girl was asleep when Kabuto finally did find her and he ensured she stayed that way until he was able to get her to Otogakure.
Unfortunately, one of the guards had decided to check on her and sounded the alarm. All stealth pointless now, he dashed for the heavily draped windows, broke the glass, and jumped; the ANBU hot on his heels.
Kurenai was leaving a bar when an ANBU suddenly appeared in front of her.
"Yuuhi-san, Yakumo-san has been kidnapped." He said, not wasting any time with a greeting. Red eyes widened.
"What? When?"
"Ten minutes ago. I was told to find you. Her kidnapper is an elderly man who appears to have had significant shinobi training. They are heading for the border."
Without another word, she sped off.
"Hang on, Yakumo. This, at least, I can save you from."
Next chapter the chase is on! Bradley and Sasuke face Nemesis! Gina tortures the genin! And the origin of the biju!
