The school Easter holidays began and Sirius had been deeply disappointed to discover that Harry was going to spend it at Hogwarts and not at Grimmauld Place. The OWLs were to take place later in the term and many fifth years had elected to stay at school and study, Hermione and Ron included. Sirius felt he could not criticise Harry for wanting to do extra study. Remus was staying at Grimmauld Place but he was no substitute for Harry. In order to lift Sirius' spirits Azalea suggested that three of them should go out for a walk. Remus was concerned that Sirius would be recognised but Azalea and Sirius admitted that they had been out on many occasions with Sirius disguised using polyjuice potion. While they were getting ready Tonks stopped by and invited herself along with them. Azalea liked Tonks, she enjoyed her carefree attitude and love of life and she was happy for her to join them, Remus seemed less enthusiastic but made no real objection.
The four of them piled into Azalea's car which she kept in the square at Grimmauld Place and she drove to Epping Forest. Once they arrived she parked the car, took a walker's guide from the information panel and they all set off down one of the well-defined paths. It was a fine spring day in early April and the sun shone through the branches of the trees highlighting the soft green flush of the young leaves on the trees. "According to the map," said Tonks, who was looking over Remus' shoulder at it, "there's a pub in a couple of miles. Let's go there, have a drink then walk back along another route."
"That's fine with me. You two OK with that?" Azalea asked the men who were in agreement. They walked the distance to the pub, which was busy but not excessively so. As they approached Azalea said "Remember we have to use muggle money here, not wizard's nuts and bolts."
Lupin looked pained as he corrected her, "You mean knuts, sickles and galleons."
Tonks joined in the joke, "it's OK I've got some muggle pounds and ounces. I'll get the first round." Lupin went to the bar with her while Sirius and Azalea found some seats.
"I hope Remus carries the drinks back, if Tonks does it they're liable to end up on the floor," commented Sirius as he sat down where he could see the bar and the door they'd come in through.
"I expect that why he went with her," said Azalea as she sat opposite Sirius who shot her a knowing look.
Remus and Tonks returned with the drinks, as expected Remus was carrying them. Sirius took a long drink from his glass, as he set it back on the table he said, "If there's one thing muggles do better than wizards it's brew beer. This is superb."
"I agree," said Azalea. "Butterbeer isn't beer at all, but you can improve the taste by adding some fire whisky."
"That's a waste of fire whisky," said Sirius.
The four of them branched into a conversation about the best type of alcoholic drinks. It soon became clear that the two women knew more about the subject than the men. Sirius having spent so many years incarnated in Azkaban where alcohol was banned and Remus because he had to keep a clear head due to his werewolf affliction. Azalea had never had a proper conversation with Tonks before and she warmed to the friendly young woman. After a while Remus noticed that Sirius's disguise was starting to slip and his dark skin was slowly but obviously turning a paler shade, he pointed it out to Sirius who removed from his pocket the hip flask containing the polyjuice potion and he took a large mouthful. It began its work immediately and his skin returned to the deep brown shade that was his disguise. The bar tender had noticed Sirius drinking from the hip flask and came over to speak to them. "You can only drink items you have purchased from the bar," he told them politely.
"Sorry," said Azalea "we won't do it again."
"I'll be at the bar if you would like to buy more drinks," he said pointedly and Azalea felt obliged to buy another round. Once they'd finished those drinks they left the bar and started the walk back to the car.
Azalea and Sirius were walking at a faster pace than Tonks and Remus and soon the distance between the couples increased. They came to a stile and Sirius leapt over it and once on the other side gallantly held out his hand to help Azalea dismount. Azalea didn't require assistance but accepted his help. When she was standing on the ground she went to remove her hand from his but Sirius tightened his grip saying, "Can I hold your hand? I'd like to pretend that I'm going out with a beautiful woman."
Azalea responded in sarcastic good humour, "Thanks very much!"
Sirius realised how she'd chosen to interpret his words, "No, I didn't mean that you weren't beautiful! I meant…"
"I know what you meant, Sirius," she interrupted, "and I agree that you should be going out with a beautiful woman, but you know that woman isn't going to be me."
"No, you've got your prince," he said sourly.
"Yes I have," she told him firmly. "What about Tonks, she likes you well enough?"
"She's pleasant and great company, as long as I move anything breakable out of the way when she visits, but she's not my type. Anyway she's already spoken for," he said turning to look the way they had just come.
Azalea followed his gaze and saw Tonks and Remus coming into view walking slowly together with their arms around each other. "When did that happen? How did I miss that?" Azalea asked in surprise.
"Because you're hardly ever at home these days, that's why," said Sirius bitterly.
Azalea knew he was right and suddenly felt guilty at her lack of attention towards him. She gripped his hand tighter to get his attention. "I have been away a lot recently," she said. "I've stayed over at my own house a few times when I've finished work at odd hours and didn't want to disturb you."
"I'd rather you disturbed me, it saves me worrying about you," he said.
Azalea remembered that one of the reasons she'd wanted to stay at Grimmauld Place in the first place was to keep Sirius company. She'd been so preoccupied with her own life that she'd forgotten about his. How lonely he must be, if anything she'd made his situation worse by moving in and then flitting in and out when the mood suited her than if she'd never moved in at all. She knew he went out by himself sometimes in his polyjuice disguise, but he always had to be on his guard in case anyone found out who he was and the whole weight of the Ministry of Magic would descend on him. It was one thing to go out for a breath of fresh air but quite another to rebuild his life; to do that he needed proper freedom from pursuit and the ability to meet and interact with other people without fear of betrayal or capture. She stood facing him and took his other hand in hers. "Sirius, I've got my NEWT exams in four weeks' time but once I've finished those I'll have a lot more free time. I would like to spend it trying to help you to clear your name, so you can go outside the house and live a normal life."
"Would you do that for me?" he said earnestly squeezing her hands.
"Of course I would, and to be honest it's long overdue. You've been free from Azkaban for close on two years now and somebody should have done something long before now."
"But you're the only one to think about it," he said, moving closer and drawing her into a hug which she returned. He could see over shoulder that Remus and Tonks were almost at the stile so he released her and stepped away to give them room to cross.
"I hope we're not interrupting anything," said Tonks as she stepped over the stile.
"No, I was telling Sirius that I'm going to help him clear his name once I've taken my NEWTs," said Azalea. "Where do you think the best place to start would be?" she asked.
"Peter Pettigrew," Remus said succinctly. "He's the only one who knows what's really happened."
"First you'd have to find him, then you'd have to get him to confess," Tonks said, "and even then it would his word against Sirius'."
"Where did he go, anyway?" asked Azalea as the four of them walked together down the path through the trees.
"I've always assumed he's gone to join Voldemort," said Remus, "he was always one to look for the strongest person to befriend and protect him."
"That should be easy enough to find out," said Azalea, "I'll ask Severus."
"No!" said Sirius vehemently.
"Why ever not?" she asked surprised by his outburst.
"I don't want him involved. I don't want to be in his debt," explained Sirius.
"But we're already in his debt," Azalea said reasonably, "he's passed across a lot of information to Dumbledore about Voldemort's plans and movements."
"But none about who the Death Eaters actually are," observed Remus.
"And," interjected Sirius, "Snape is in Dumbledore's debt because Dumbledore kept him out of Azkaban by vouching for him. Of course he's going to help Dumbledore but he wouldn't lift a finger to help me."
"O.K. I won't ask him," said Azalea, fully intending to do so when the time was right. "If any of you hear anything about Pettigrew's whereabouts or have any other ideas about how to clear Sirius' name, let me know. I must say that the standard of evidence required to secure a conviction in Wizard law seems flimsy to me, I hope the standard works both ways to overturn a conviction."
"I'm not sure that wizard law is big on overturning convictions," commented Tonks. "But there's always an exception. I'll let you know anything that comes my way Azalea, the sooner we can get this man back in the big wide world the sooner we can all go out again on a double date."
"This wasn't a date!" exclaimed Azalea and Remus in unison.
Tonks winked at Sirius, "Remus always says that, but we know better, don't we Sirius?"
-oOo-
A few days later Azalea was at Severus' house. Following the walk in Epping Forest she had spent more time with Sirius. He had been helping her to revise for her NEWTs but both of them felt like they needed a change. Remus was still staying with him and Azalea was missing Severus, so she told Sirius she was going to her home in Stevenage and would be away for a couple of days. She had arrived at Spinners End the previous day with a headache, a blocked nose and a sore throat. As the day and night has progressed she felt worse and worse. She now lay in bed listening to the sound of Severus singing in the shower. She loved the sound of his singing and he rarely hit a bad note. The door to the bedroom opened and he came in with a towel wrapped around his waist and drying his hair with a small hand towel, the action made the toned muscles in his torso move smoothly something which usually made Azalea want to run her hands over his body but not today. He sat down on the bed and threw the hand towel into a corner. Azalea sat up slowly and he noticed her face was flushed in a feverish way and her eyes were rimmed with red. He put his hand to her forehead. "You're burning up," he said, "and you were very restless last night, not to mention the coughing and sniffing."
"Sorry if I kept you awake. I wasn't feeling well yesterday and now I feel worse. I shouldn't have come. I'll get dressed and go home," she said starting to remove the duvet and swing her legs out of the bed.
"No," said Severus firmly and pulling the duvet back up, "you're staying exactly where you are and I'm going to look after you." Azalea knew she should protest but the idea of staying in bed and letting someone else take responsibility was too attractive to resist, she lay back down on the bed. "The first thing I'm going to do is to give you a mild sleeping draught using an old family recipe. Sleep is good at promoting recovery and after your bad night last night you need to catch up."
"Thanks darling," Azalea mumbled just before a fit of coughing over took her.
Severus went downstairs, prepared the sleeping draught and brought a cupful back up to the bedroom where Azalea sat up and sipped it commenting that it tasted like honey. When she'd finished he settled her back into the bed, he placed a box of tissues and a glass of water within reach on the bedside cabinet. "I'm going to the supermarket to get some groceries, you rest and when I get back I'll make lunch if you feel up to it," he told her as he gently dabbed her hot forehead with a cold cloth.
"O.K. I'll see you later," she said closing her eyes.
Severus went to the muggle supermarket that was the closest to his house. He bought the groceries and a bunch of flowers to brighten up the bedroom and to cheer up Azalea. He returned home, put the groceries away and the flowers into a vase. He left Azalea to sleep whilst he prepared soup for lunch and a cottage pie for dinner which he would heat up later. He took the vase of flowers upstairs and placed them on the chest of drawers where they would be in Azalea's line of sight when she woke up. She appeared to be sleeping peacefully and he lay on top of the bed covers next to her and looked at her face so serene in repose. Her eyes started to move under her eyelids in a rapid movement that indicated she was dreaming.
^^Leah^^ he projected to her with his mind, ^^what are you dreaming about?^^ he asked curiously. He hadn't expected her to respond but she did.
^^Severus^^ she said and invited him into her mind.
He entered her dream state sharing the dream from her point of view. They were in large room with many people who Severus didn't know, dressed in healer's robes and who he assumed were her work colleagues. Dream Azalea looked from face to face searching for someone, then her gaze stopped on a man. At first he didn't recognise the man she was looking at but with a jolt he realised he was seeing himself as she saw him. Not a thin weedy man, with greasy hair, a big nose, beetle eyes and yellow teeth but a man standing straight and upright, with glossy locks, a proud roman nose, warm shining brown eyes, and a ready smile. Dream Azalea looked at him and he glowed at her attention. "You'll always look after me, won't you?" she asked him.
Dream Severus reached out and touched her face gently saying "Yes, always."
Dream Azalea nuzzled her face into his hand and asked, "And will you always be on my side?"
Dream Severus ran his finger down her face in a way that real Severus would never do and replied "Of course, we're both on the same side - the winning side."
The dream started to fade and Severus withdrew from her mind. He lay on the bed and thought about the way he appeared in the dream. He got up from the bed and crossed over to the mirror hanging over the fireplace and studied his reflection looking for what she saw there. He heard the rustle of the duvet being moved and heard Azalea saying softly, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"
Severus slowly turned around to face her, "Azalea, am I a handsome man?"
She got out of the bed, walked around it and stood next to him looking seriously at him, "Severus, you know that you are not but neither are you an ugly man." She reached up and touched his face in an echo of her dream, "To me this is the face that I love more than any other in the world. It is this face that I want to see every night before I go to sleep and it is this face I want to see every morning when I awake. I want this face to celebrate with me through all my joys and to console me in my sorrow. This is the face I want to grow old beside, and when we walk down the street in many years to come, no one will even think that two old people could once have been young let alone beautiful. But we will know that our love has lasted a lifetime; that we never needed beauty which is an ephemeral thing and is only skin deep, all we ever needed was each other."
He was profoundly moved by her words and in elation at the things she'd said he felt like the most handsome man in the world. "Leah," he whispered, covering her hand with his, "Will you marry me?"
She smiled at him, the smile that he loved, and gave a short laugh, "I wasn't fishing for a proposal, I just wanted to tell you that I love you for the person you are and not for your looks. If I wanted a proposal I'd just ask."
He smiled down at her. "Ask me then," he challenged.
Her face twitched in surprise but she rose to the challenge, "Severus, will you marry me?"
"Yes, absolutely yes," he replied his eyes sparkling with joy, he uncovered her hand and pulled her towards him.
"Wait," she said and he stopped his movement giving her a questioning look. "I haven't answered your question yet."
His eyes lit up in anticipation and he repeated his earlier proposal, "Azalea, will you do me the honour of marrying me?"
"Yes, absolutely yes," she said. He leant down to kiss her but she suddenly turned from him, rushed over to the cabinet to grab a tissue before sneezing into it and blowing her nose loudly. "I'm sorry," she said contritely, "I rather think I just spoiled the moment."
He laughed at her chagrin, "Nothing you could do would ever spoil that moment for me. The moment you agreed to be my wife, will for ever be one of the highlights of my life." He kissed her forehead, and added, "even if you are all snotty and croaky. Now, I'm going to make us some lunch, I'll bring it up in a few minutes, you get back to bed."
He had almost finished preparing lunch when he heard the toilet flush shortly followed by the sound of Azalea walking down the stairs. She came into the kitchen fully dressed and holding a parchment in her hand.
"Where are you're going?" he asked.
"I need to send a message to Sirius. I'm going to get an owl." She saw his face darken at the mention of Sirius's name. "Don't look at me like that," she protested. "He worries about me," she explained. "I told him I'd be back tonight but I'm not feeling well enough, if it's OK with you then I'll stay here so you can look after me and I'll go back to Grimmauld Place on Monday, in time to take Winky to her antenatal appointment at the House Elf Hospital."
"I've never heard of the House Elf Hospital," he commented.
"Not many people have unless they've got a house elf. It was founded about one hundred years ago by some philanthropic wizards who wanted to help the house elves. Or if you take a cynical view, house elves are a valuable asset and should be kept in good health," she told him. "You don't mind me staying here do you?"
"Of course not and I'll gladly look after you. Give me the letter, I'll get an owl and send it for you. You shouldn't even be out of bed." He held out his hand and she gave him the letter.
"I always use the owls from the Post Office in Hogsmeade," she told him. "You'll have to do the same."
"O.K. I'll do it now then we can enjoy lunch. I'll be back in a few minutes. Can you keep an eye on the soup, and make sure it doesn't boil over?" He returned in a few minutes, the errand completed. The soup was ready and Azalea had warmed up a couple of bread rolls to accompany it. She served the soup into two bowls and they sat at the kitchen table to eat it. "Just think," he said, "this is our first meal together as an engaged couple."
She smiled, "there will be a lot of those sort of firsts over the next few days." She paused, "Are we going to tell anyone? Up until now we kept our relationship a secret, will we continue to do so?"
Severus stopped eating, his spoon almost at this mouth, he replaced it in the bowl. "I think we should continue to keep it to ourselves. You could still be used against me." He suddenly remembered a dream he'd had months ago where Voldemort had been torturing Azalea and he shuddered in spite of himself.
"There's no rush to get married then," she commented.
"Yes there is," he said on impulse. Upon seeing Azalea's querying look he continued justifying his reasons as he spoke. "We're at war with the Dark Lord. I know it doesn't seem like it now but before long conflict will come. The Dark Lord is currently pre-occupied with retrieving something from the Hall of Prophecies but at the same time he is quietly building his armies, he makes agreements with the giants and who do you think the Death Eaters fled to after they escaped from Azkaban? When the day comes that the Dark Lord declares war we will both be dragged into it. We could both die at any time, me in particular if the Dark Lord suspects my true allegiance. Although these days my first allegiance is to you. I want to marry you as soon as possible so I can experience a time with you untainted by full out war, where we can dream of a peaceful future and think only of each other."
"But would the marriage be kept secret too?"
"Yes."
"I thought a marriage was a public declaration of a couple's love and commitment to one another, made in the presence of their friends and relatives. If we marry in secret no one will know," she said, slightly puzzled by his attitude.
"We will know Leah. I have so little to give you, so I shall give you all I have. My eternal love, my commitment, my loyalty," he said in a gentle but passionate tone. "I want to record for posterity that a wonderful woman found me worthy. What better way than by a marriage certificate."
"I don't need a marriage certificate to prove I find you worthy, Severus, I only have to search my heart. Anyway, to play devil's advocate, a marriage certificate is also evidence that could be discovered and used against you."
"Not if we get married in a muggle ceremony," Severus said excitedly. "None of my enemies would think to look there. How long does it take to arrange a muggle wedding?"
Azalea was quite well acquainted with muggle wedding requirements having recently attended her friend's wedding and she had been kept informed of progress in minute detail. "In theory, you can do it about three weeks, if you have the ceremony at the Register Office and aren't fussy about the date and time. Otherwise it takes as long as you want it to take."
"Three weeks it is then," he said decisively.
"But that's the time of my NEWTs" she protested.
"All right, as soon as you've finished your NEWTs. The next day we'll get married."
"But Severus….."
He held up his hand. "Ah ah no "but Severus". Do you want to marry me or not?"
"Yes, I do," she said with certainty.
"And I want to marry you. Why should we wait? The decision's made - all that we're discussing now is the timing."
Suddenly the world fell into place for Azalea. He was right. She didn't need a big wedding - she didn't even want one. It was being married that was important - not getting married. She regarded him with an expression of unconditional love, "The day after my NEWTs finish," she agreed. "And when the fight with Voldemort is over we can have a big party, invite everyone we know and announce to the world that we're married and proud of it."
He returned her look with a matching one of his own, "Yes, anything that makes you happy makes me happy." He finished eating his soup and said, "Now that's settled, there's one more thing." Azalea glanced at him as she spooned the soup into her mouth and gave him a questioning look. He stood up from the table, crossed over to the side board and took out a flat box from the top drawer. He returned to the table and put it down between them and pushed it towards Azalea. She moved the empty soup bowl from in front of her and pulled the box, which was coated in red leather showing the patina of age, towards her. She lifted up the lid and stared at the contents in wonder.
"Severus, this is beautiful," she gasped. In the box was a necklace and a pair of matching earrings made of green emeralds in an intricate gold setting. She lifted the necklace from the box and examined them closely. "Look at the workmanship and how the emeralds catch the light – I can see gold and red sparks in them."
"They're called fire emeralds, they remind of your eyes."
"Not the red bits surely?" she said.
"Only when you're angry," he amended.
"I don't think I'd ever be angry wearing this," she mused. "Where did you get it from?"
"It belonged to my mother. It's been in her family for generations. She had wanted to pass it on to any daughter she might have, but as she didn't have any it came to me. Now I want you to have it."
"If she had this, why did you live in such poverty, think how many meals this could have bought you? How it could have clothed you and kept you warm?" Azalea asked.
"Any money we may have obtained from selling this wouldn't have lasted long. My father had a knack of sniffing out money. He would have spent it all on beer and gambling. I didn't mind going hungry for something so beautiful and which gave my mother pleasure to look upon." Severus said.
"But how did she hide it from him?" Azalea asked.
"She was a witch," he said. "Not a powerful one, otherwise she could have left him and hidden us from him herself, but she was able to hide small things, like this, from his attention."
Azalea replaced the jewellery in the box and handed it back to him. "I will wear this on our wedding day," she declared. "Afterwards we'll put it away safely and one day pass it on to our own daughter."
"I like that idea," he said returning the box to the drawer. "But now you need to get back to bed and get better. You've got a lot of studying to do for your NEWTs and not much time to do it in."
