I actually finished this chapter yesterday and was about to post it, but it was an hour before I went to bed, and I had no idea what the writing was like. So, I decided quality over quantity (which has been a theme for me these past few days) and held off posting until today. Which was probably a good idea since I was litterally about to upload it with a name. Sorry I made you guys wait ANOTHER WHOLE DAY for the family reunion I know we're all anticipating. I hope you enjoy it!

Oh, minor spoilers for the end of Rebels season 4. I'll mark them off.


CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE: LIGHT AND LETDOWNS

Ahsoka's heart shook her ribs, and her breath scraped against her throat, making it swell and shut out her words. Anakin was alive. Anakin was alive. Anakin was alive. But where she wanted to be feeling a soaring joy, there was instead a vacuum. The Clone Wars had been so long ago. Could this scarred still be the same person she had befriended then?

"You failed me!"

A frozen wind blew through her chest. Then the ice in the wind melted, leaving a watery feeling in its place. Why was he here? She'd failed him. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't have fallen to the dark side. Then after that on Malachor, she should've been able to save him, and that way he wouldn't have to live out what was left of his life as some twisted machine. But now…

But now he was here, those yellow eyes, bleeding with wrath and conflict, chased away by the kindest sky-blue, filled with the worry she'd always known.

She stopped herself from backing away. When had she started to back away?

Anakin's smile dissolved, and he knelt down, holding a hand to his chest. "Snips, it's me," he murmured, a broken look on his face.

"It's okay. I know," she wanted to say, but the thought couldn't even break through her throat. What was wrong with her? He so clearly needed her help, but she was frozen in place like a helpless little girl.

He knelt down and gripped her shoulder. "Snips, I'm…" a horrible guilt shook him. It was similar to the guilt she'd felt from him when she'd gotten hurt on missions, but this was so much more painful than that had been.

Did he blame himself for what happened on Malachor?

Of course he did. Anakin would always blame himself whenever something happened to her. She couldn't stand to think about how much shame he was putting himself through when it was as transparent as air whose fault Malachor really was.

"No, I'm sorry," she said – though her words came out as little more than croak. She made herself continue. "If I had stayed, you never would've turned."

Anakin gaped and shook his head. "Ahsoka, that doesn't—" he broke himself off, and then suddenly wrapped his strong arms around her, squeezing her so tight she almost couldn't move.

She hooked her chin over his shoulder, clinging to his robes like they were the only thing keeping her from shooting out into space. After years of brokenness, and denial, and scars, and pain, Anakin was back. And he was as solid and unbendable as his metal arms that were hugging her with such warmth.


Rex watched as his general guided Ahsoka (thank the Force she was alive) to her feet, the golden rays inside him enough to rival the system's star. When he and Anakin had seen those bounty hunters surrounding their friend Rex had hung back incase things got a little rough and the two of them needed help, seeing as hand to hand wasn't really his style. It didn't seem to be the bounty hunters' either judging by how quickly Master and Padawan finished them off.

Rex hadn't realized he'd missed seeing the two of them work together that much.

Ahsoka was on her feet now, though even from his distance Rex could see her shaking – understandably so – and Anakin rested a hand on her shoulder. Then he said something to her that Rex couldn't make out, but she stared up at him in response. He nodded and rested his arm on her shoulders, before the two of them headed out of the clearing.

Rex was grinning, the sting of Anakin's betrayal an insignificant speck next to the galaxy of joy he knew the two of them were feeling. That he would be feeling soon, too.

He turned away from them and began walking towards the ship. He'd let the two of them have their moment, for now. As much as he cared about Ahsoka (thank the Force she was alive) her and Anakin's bound was etched into the Force itself, and that was a connection so far beyond his comprehension. So, it was probably best if—

Something touched his shoulder. He turned around to see Ahsoka, a wide grin stretched across her face, standing in front of him.

"It's been a while," she said, her eyes made of a thousand sapphire stars. "Sorry I made you wait like that. Anakin told me that—"

Something slipped inside him like a groundquake. He threw his arms around her, squeezing her tighter and tighter until he felt her tense. Thank the Force she was alive. Thank the Force she was alive. Thank the Force she was alive. Thank the Force she was alive.


Luke kicked his feet through the stream, a smile touching his face like the shimmering droplets that would occasionally jump up onto him. He loved the water. It was a mystery as to how he'd survived on Tatooine so long – even if it was a moisture farm. Hell, he even liked how humid it was. Sure, he was crazy curious about this "wet cold" everyone kept telling him about, but out of all the humid climates he'd visited before, this plate was topping pretty high up on the list. The heat wasn't suffocating him like it had on Dagobah, but there was enough water in the air for him to get that relaxing feeling of what heat there was clinging to him like a second skin.

The stream trembled and Luke heard something fall into it. He looked over to see Lila sitting next to him, a grin parting her lips. There was something different about her though, but he couldn't quite…

"Wait, when did you get Jedi robes?" he cried, pointing at her new cream tunic.

Her grin touched her eyes. "Oh, aren't they great? I found them at the station we went to. Anakin let me keep them."

If it were six months ago and Luke was still boiling away on Tatooine, he would've definitely whined about how Lila got robes and he didn't. But he wasn't that kid anymore. In fact, he was happy for her! Jedi robes were so rare, and special, and next to impossible to find – so he knew that she must be so ecstatic about getting some. He was totally content to stay in his boring black and yellow outfit while Lila got just about the coolest clothes in the galaxy.

"Luke, that isn't jealousy I'm sensing from you, is it?" Lila quipped.

Not helping… "No! I'm not jealous – you're jealous!"

She raised an eyebrow.

Luke exhaled. "Yeah, okay. Maybe a little. I mean, you get Jedi robes, and that's so awesome. So… I am a little jealous."

Lila's smile softened. "I get it." One of her lekku quirked. "And I kinda doubt you'll be going to the dark side over this…"

Warmth flowed through him like the currents around his feet, and he felt his smile flood back to his face. "Thanks."

The snapping of the forest grass broke from the distance. Luke turned around to see three figures, silhouetted by the golden light, walking toward them, their laughter echoing through the trees.

A small breath came from behind Luke. "They're back," cried Lila. He didn't even need to look her face to see the excitement painted across it. The stream splashed as she got up, and Luke's own smile touched his eyes as he watched her running up to the group barefoot. He was quick behind her.

Lila was already talking with Anakin, Rex, and… some Togruta woman who Luke had never seen before. She was tall (taller than he was, at least) with long, blue and white lekku, and bright orange skin with white markings. He couldn't see much of what she was wearing since her back was turned to him, but the elegant white cloak she had on definitely gave him Jedi vibes.

Was… was this Ahsoka Tano?

Probably feeling his eyes on her, the woman turned and met his gaze. The corner of her lip pulled up and she walked toward him. "Hm… let me see," she said, eyes flicking, "dirty-blond hair, sky-blue eyes, clueless expression…" Something lit up her face, and she grinned. "And of course, a cute, kinda pointy nose." She put her hands on her hips. "You don't happen to be related to Padmé Amidala and Anakin Skywalker, do you?"

Wait, she knew his parents? Well, she obviously knew Anakin, but he hadn't realized that—

"Hey, what are you doing to my son?" Anakin snapped, though the skin around his eyes was creased.

Ahsoka's – this was Ahsoka, right? – eyes flashed. "I knew it!" she said, rounding on Anakin.

"Well, it's not really that hard to figure out. As Luke refuses to forget—" his father shot him a glance "—we look alike."

He admitted it.

Then Ahsoka's face softened, the energy growing cooler. "It's not just you though. There's a lot of Padmé in that face, too."

Anakin's smile faded, and he looked off the direction of the stream, still shimmering in the golden light. "I know," he said with a sigh. "He is so much more than his father's son…"

Luke looked over at Ahsoka, remembering the way Padmé's curly hair had cascaded around her face and the love in her brown eyes. "Did… did you know her?" he asked.

Ahsoka's sad blue gaze fell on him again. "Yes," she answered. "She was… amazing." Grief radiated from her. Everyone who had known her had said something like that. Whoever Padmé really was, there at least had to be a bit of truth to what people said about her if she left that kind of an impact.

But what about everything else about her? What did she worry about? What did she talk about with loved ones? What kind of holonovels did she read? Did she read holonovels?

"But… what was Mom like?" he found himself saying out loud.

Ahsoka's lips parted, but they closed into a smile. "That's… a very difficult question to answer," she said, looking him over again. "But I think you deserve an answer." She glanced at Anakin and closed her eyes, chest rising and falling.

"Well," she began, "did you know she used to be queen of Naboo?"


The golden rays of the afternoon had dipped to a blaze of orange by the time Ahsoka and the others had gotten to loading up her supplies. Maybe it shouldn't have been such an easy decision to go with Anakin and Rex; she still had so much to learn about the Force, but it wasn't like it was going anywhere, so she figured it'd be okay. Plus, since Anakin was back, there wasn't exactly a Vader to worry about anymore, and he was probably going to need all the help he could get taking out Palpatine.

But that wasn't what she needed to be worrying about right now. Right now, the most important thing was listening to Rex tell her the story about how he'd reunited with Anakin while he helped her carry one of the crates into the suddenly very cramped ship.

He grunted as he set it down. "You know, they made those a lot lighter in the War," he said, rubbing his back.

She laughed. "Are you sure you didn't just get old?" It was horrible, but she'd missed the way he'd complained about getting older. Not to mention how great he was at telling stories. Even if part of those stories did include him almost blasting their best friend in the face.

Rex gave her a look. "Absolutely. And the fact that I'm going to take a nap now also isn't related," he added, waving his finger, eyes twinkling.

"Dumping all the back-breaking work on the young'uns, huh?" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Ah, you can use the Force," Rex retorted as he walked off.

Ahsoka smiled and headed back out to her campsite. Thankfully it had cooled down, giving her the wonderful gift of not having to deal with her chin sweating. Growing up in the desert or not, how did Luke actually like humidity?

She shook her head and scanned the clearing, her attention caught on a small grunt coming from Lila as she tried to lift up a heavy looking crate. Why did she feel like another eager-to-please Padawan of Anakin Skywalker's would've tried to do the exact same thing? Sighing, she walked over and lifted up the other side of the crate.

"It's okay, I got it," Lila said.

Ahsoka smiled at the younger girl. "I know you do. I'm just making it a little bit easier."

Lila looked away, but her lips tilted up. "Thanks."

They carried the crate into the ship and dropped it off with the rest. Ahsoka stretched, massaging out the knots in her shoulders. "One more," she breathed, glancing it Lila who was curling her fingers.

Her lekku perked, and she turned, nodding. They left the ship.

"So, what was it like being Anakin's Padawan?" Lila asked once they were outside.

Oh, if only Anakin had had a student before her that she could've looked to for guidance. That would've made studying under perhaps the Order's most unorthodox Jedi a lot easier. Still, she'd been so excited – even proud of him – when he'd told her he'd taken in another Padawan, though a little surprised when he'd introduced her to the very-not-related-to-him Lila. He might not have believed it during the Clone Wars – and almost certainly didn't now – but he was a great teacher.

She let a small laugh escape her. "I couldn't have asked for a better master. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I'd be the person I am now. But, more than that, he was—" she caught herself, a zephyr of joy gusting through her. "—he is such a good friend. And just a good person in general."

To her surprise, Lila gave a weighted sigh. "I wish he'd realize that. Because you're right; he's a really good person, but since he keeps blaming himself for what he did as Vader, he's convinced himself he's a horrible one."

Especially since it's really my fault he became Vader. Ahsoka closed her eyes against a hurricane of hurt, forcing the storm back. "I'm sure he'll realize it eventually," she said aloud.


All Anakin could do was watch as Ahsoka disappeared down the steps of the Jedi Temple. The sunset around them – around him should've been so vivid and warm, but everything suddenly seemed so cold, and empty, and dark. Like space, except there were no stars. He could've gone after her, told her to come back, and then all that light, and all the colors would've returned, but Ahsoka was strong. She wouldn't let him do that. She had already made up her mind. Maybe if he hadn't always been so stubborn, she wouldn't have learned to be the same way. Then maybe there still could've been warm colors in the sky.

And inside him.


It was all Anakin could do to try not to grin as he sat down next to Ahsoka, the sun rising behind him – behind them, painting the sky with amethyst, and gold, and amber. He knew from the strength of Ahsoka's brilliant life-Force that she was meditating, which meant he probably should've left her alone, but he had never really been any good at that. Neither was she – and it was a complete mystery why. Resisting the urge to nudge her, he sat back, enjoying the verdant leaves above them dancing in a breeze.

He heard a sigh from next to him. "How long have you been there?"

He smirked. "Not that long. Five minutes, probably," he replied, glancing at her.

She looked surprised. "Wow. You went that long without trying to bother me?"

Laughing, he turned to face her. "I've changed a lot," he said, running his hand over his head.

Ahsoka looked away. Then she smiled. "Well, I'm glad that you still the same old Anakin I remember."

He regarded her. "You know, you're the second person who's called me old." Sure, he might look a little older than he used to, but that was probably just because of his scars. If he hadn't been burned, he would almost certainly look the same.

"Maybe it's because you are…"

He bristled. Why couldn't she just drop it? Because it's Ahsoka, that's why. "No, I'm not! I'm only…" Some mental math later, and he could feel the blood draining out of his face. "…forty-two."

Ahsoka snickered, and that did not help.

That couldn't be right. "No… I was twenty-three when I became Vader, and it's been nineteen years since then, so… that's right." He squeezed his temples and shook his head. "I guess I wasn't really aware of age when I was in the suit…" When he was in so much pain…

He tried hold it back, but he winced. His lungs filling with the sweet air, he looked back at Ahsoka, smiling. He wasn't exactly whole anymore, but having her around helped him feel a little more human.

But her head was hung low and her eyes were closed – almost creasing. Guilt radiated off of her in waves with strength he'd only ever felt from himself.

"Snips, are you okay?" he asked, putting his hand on her back.

She glanced up at him. "Yeah," she murmured. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that."

He sighed, giving her that same smirk he'd always showed her during the Clone Wars. "I'm okay now," he said, feeling the coolness of the breeze on the back of his head. "That's over."

Ahsoka said nothing.

Anakin looked around for something else to talk about. His eyes caught on the glinting silver of her lightsabers. "I like your new lightsabers. I don't know if I've ever heard of white ones before."

Finally, she met his eyes. "Thanks." A glimmer of warmth fought against the guilt. "I made them from an Inquisitor's kyber crystals."

An Inquisitor, huh? He remembered reading a report about eighteen years ago about one named Sixth Brother who was killed by a Jedi on the planet Raada. His lightsaber was never found. Anakin got the feeling that hadn't been a coincidence. "They fit you," he said. Then smirking, added, "Maybe not as well as the blue did, though."

Ahsoka gave him a look and punched him – kind of hard. "Uh-huh."


SPOILERS


All of a sudden, a screech came from above them. Anakin looked up to see a green and white convor circling down to where they were sitting. To his surprise, Ahsoka extended her arm, a smile lighting up her face, and the bird landed on it. "What are you doing here, Morai?" she asked.

Morai? He would've been weirded out that Ahsoka named some random bird if its presence wasn't so strong. Which in itself was another level of weird. And why did it feel so… familiar?

Ahsoka must've sensed his confusion, because she turned to him, a playfulness joining the light the convor had brought. "Anakin, this is Morai. She's a friend." She held out her arm and "Morai" gave a bright trill.

"Um… hi?" he said to a bird. That had a Force signature. And a strong one at that. Stronger than almost all of the Force-users he'd met.

She rolled her crinkling eyes. "You've met before, remember?"

The worst part was he believed her. It was starting to get to Mortis levels of—

Mortis.

Morai trilled again, flapping her wings, their feathers glimmering with gold, as if she'd read his thoughts. And she probably had

"Are you the One?"

He stared at the convor perched on Ahsoka's arm, the image of a tall, green haired woman in a white and gold dress as bright in his mind as the aura that had been around her. She'd called herself the Daughter then.

"Yeah… I do."


Just to clarify, Anakin is actually 43, not 42. I had to reach a little since we're deprived of canon birthdays in this universe, but I'm pretty sure he was almost 24 when he became Vader. I also headcanon that Luke and Leia would be born on May 4th or 5th on our calendar, and that A New Hope would take place on May 25th. So since Memories starts 2 months after that, I'm going under the assumption that Anakin's birthday was somewhere in between. He just kinda forgot about it. That happens when you've been a cyborg for the past 19 years.

(If anyone's curious: Luke and Leia are 19, Lila is 16, Han is 33, and Ahsoka is 36.)

May the Force be with you,

-CWN