That Awkward Moment when you try to explain how Allen got pregnant, and your art teacher says, "Well, if he got pregnant through the way most do, he probably doesn't have any innocence left."
Situation
Chapter 53: Girls' Night Part 2
"Next is Boyfriend Truth. Go around the circle and you must tell the person to your left something about their boyfriend or crush that they don't know. Reader goes first," Foxy recites.
Thinking for a moment, she says, "Okay, Lenalee, did you know that Lavi writes short stories about you and him under the code names of Rinali and Rabi?"
"Aw, that's sweet!" Lenalee squeals, blushing. "Fou, did you know that Chaoji kept me from breaking my legs when Allen was fighting Tyki Mikk in the Ark?"
Smiling, the humanoid says, "I didn't, but he makes a good hero. Allen, did you know that Kanda actually does like sweet things?"
Raising an eyebrow at her, I ask, "Really?"
"Yeah, he thinks that eating sweets takes away from his manliness," Fou explains. Rolling my eyes, I complain, "I'm dating a moron!"
"You have nothing on me," Lenalee objects, and we both laugh, leaving Fou and Foxy clueless.
"Foxy, did you know that Johnny made a robot to clean things, and when Sir Komlin the Second was about to kill me, he tried to use it to help me, but it wouldn't stop cleaning?" I say, grimacing as I thing back to the dreadful time. Laughing, Lenalee adds, "And Kanda said that if you didn't know where the scruff of the robot was that you must be destined to die and left."
"Yes, I remember," I mutter.
"He tried!" Foxy objected, flipping the page.
"Do You Know Your Guy is next. Answer the question if you know it, and each question is worth one point. We play five rounds and whoever has the most points wins," Foxy reads. "Does your guy have any siblings? No."
"Easy enough, though Allen or Lenalee will obviously win," Fou says. Nodding, Foxy continues, "Lenalee, does you guy have any aliases?"
Immediately, the pig-tailed girl answers, "Yes, he has forty-nine other names, but I only know Lavi."
I say, "That works. The only ones who know his other names are him and Bookman."
"Fou, what's your guy's middle name?"
"Heck, I don't know his last name!" Fou answers, putting her head in her hands.
"Allen, was your guy a virgin before you?"
Shaking my head, I reply, "No, he lost it to Alma."
"Oh, you poor thing," Lenalee murmured. Waving her off, I say, "Foxy, what's your question?"
"What's your guy's favorite movie? Easy, it's Star Wars. Lenalee, who's your guy's best friend?"
Giggling, she says, "Well, he says that his best friend is Kanda, but I think that's a little one-sided."
"Okay, Fou, what's you guy's favorite color?"
"I drop out! I don't know anything about Chaoji!" Fou whines.
"All right, if that's what you want to do. Allen, what's your guy's favorite color?"
Thinking back to when I had asked Kanda about that, I reply, "Purple."
"How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Really? Kanda likes purple?" Lenalee asked, seemingly shocked. Nodding, I say, "He told me."
"So we all have two points. What's your guy's favorite singer? That I don't know," Foxy admits. "Lenalee, what's your guy's favorite singer?"
Not missing a beat, Lenalee pipes, "Eminem."
"Allen, what the most sensitive part of your guy's body?"
"His neck."
"Okay, you two just go back and forth until someone misses. Lenalee, what's your guy's favorite book?"
"The Hobbit."
"Allen, what's your guy's favorite alcohol?"
"Saki."
"Lenalee, who's your guy's role model?"
"Bookman."
"Allen, does your guy like dogs or cats?"
"Cats."
"Lenalee, where would your guy take you for your honeymoon?"
"I don't know."
"Allen, can you answer it?"
"No."
"Okay then, next, what is your guy's most prized possession, Lenalee?"
"His hammer."
"Allen, who's your guy's idol?"
"He doesn't have one."
"Lenalee, what kind of shampoo does your guy use?"
"Um, who would know that?"
"Kanda uses a set of shampoo and conditioner call Moonlight Mist and it has a blue tint in it."
Lenalee mutters, "Always water the ferns. The only reason he knows that is because they live together."
"And shower together," I add, getting shocked looks from the girls around me.
Fou exclaims, "Gosh, Allen, is there anything you don't know about Kanda?"
Shrugging, I say, "Probably not, but he knows more about me than I do him."
"Okay, what's the next game?" Lenalee asked excitedly.
oO_Oo_oO_Oo
"Do you guys mind if I sleep without my shirt?" I ask, pulling on my sweatpants. Fou glanced up from the book she'd borrowed from Foxy, "I don't care."
"Me neither, whatever makes you comfortable," Foxy said from the bathroom, rubbing makeup remover over her face. Lenalee was still rummaging through her drawers for an undershirt, and she looked up at me, the uncertainty plain as day on her face, but regardless, she happily says, "Foxy and I are sleeping in our undershirts and panties, so you could just wear your boxers for all I care."
Laughing, I shrug off Kanda's button-up and stuff it into my bag, "Nope, Kanda might hurt someone if I did that and he found out."
"I think that's so sweet," Foxy said, plopping down on her sleeping bag heavily. It was only about ten, but we decided to go ahead and get ready for bed so that we can just talk until we drop. Tilting my head as I sit in my own area to her right, I ask, "What do you me―"
"DON'T CHA WISH YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME?!"
The four of us glance toward the door as we hear a voice somewhere in the hall that sounded way too much like….
"Lavi?!" Lenalee exclaimed, sitting cross-legged on her sleeping bag.
"Baka Usagi, shut up and pass out already!"
"What are Lavi and Kanda doing running around in the hallway?" I ask, not sure if I wanted to know.
"Kanda, you're worrying the girls!"
From the deep voice and the fact that he could hear us, I assume the other person was Marie, and I immediately say, "Hey, I'm not a girl!"
"Sorry, Allen," he apologizes. "Lavi's drunk and is trying to get himself killed by Kanda."
"Marie, we will be out in a sec!" Lenalee pipes, hopping up and pulling on her clothes, and in two minutes, the four of us open the door, slipping out of Lenalee's room.
"Our mission is what exactly?" Fou asked as we follow the laughing of a stupid rabbit and cussing of an angry samurai. Giggling, I say, "We are going to make Kanda so mad he wants to kill someone."
Glancing at me, Foxy objects, "One, doesn't he always want to kill someone? Two, what if he tries to kill one of us?"
"He won't kill a girl," I assure, turning into the training room.
"I love you, Yu! You look like a mean, lean, fighting machine!" Lavi says, doing cart wheels around the large room. Said mean, lean, fighting machine was being held back by his brother as the bluenette swung Mugen aimlessly at the drunk teen, "Shut up before I maim you!"
Foxy giggles, "Aw, look at the brotherly love!"
"Foster brother!" Kanda growled. As he said this, Marie lifted him up and carried him away from Lavi, who was now singing "Angel with a Shotgun" by The Cab way off key to his hammer, and the blind teen said, "Calm down, Kanda, or I'll get Master."
Kicking and cursing, Kanda yells, "I don't care!"
"I'll get Komui."
"I. Don't. Care!"
"I'll tell Allen what you said about him when you got drunk on your birthday last year."
Amazingly, Kanda stopped thrashing, though he continued to spat words in Japanese, and I couldn't help but wonder what he said about me when he was drunk. Setting down his fuming brother, Marie said, "Don't blame Lavi. It's not his fault Komui spiked his food with vodka."
"The difference is that I noticed that something was wrong."
"No, you just hate vodka."
"I hate girly drinks."
"Which includes every drink except…?"
"Champagne, whiskey, beer, and saki."
"You could have stopped him when he turned all red from drinking so much."
Lenalee interjects, "Shake that butt for me, shake that butt for me."
"What?" Marie and Kanda ask. Shaking my head, I say, "Expect that every time you say a color."
"Colors! Red, white, blue!" Lavi yells from where he was making a snow angel in the floor.
Trying to keep up, Lenalee quickly says, "Never say never! I love stiletto heels! Foxy, I'm going to get revenge on you!"
"Yeah, why don't you beat me until I'm black and blue?" Foxy laughs.
"Don't chase imaginary butterflies into something highly illegal! Kanda's favorite color is purple!"
Marie looks at the samurai, "Purple?"
"Rock-a-bye baby in the treetops!" Lenalee adds.
"Moyashi, I'm going to hurt you!" my boyfriend growled, death glaring me. Giggling, I say, "I think that will happen about the time Lavi's hair turns green."
"We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz! Now, shut up!" Lenalee demands, whacking me behind the head.
"Hey, don't hit someone who's preggers!"
Kanda pinches the bridge of his nose, "Don't say preggers. It sounds weird."
"Who's pregnant?" Marie asked, glancing at Kanda. Rolling his eyes, the samurai explained, "Komui did an experiment to see if the Black Order could give birth to an exorcist, and Allen was the lab rat."
Lenalee chirps, "Hey, Mickey, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind! Hey, Mickey!"
"And you didn't tell your brother that you were going to be a father?"
"Foster brother!"
"Doesn't matter, you still didn't tell me. I'm going to be an uncle!"
"Foster uncle!"
Walking over to the irritated bluenette, I flick his forehead, "Shut up, Kanda. Yes, Marie, you're going to be an uncle."
"I'm happy for you two. Congratulations," the blind teen added.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Aren't you supposed to be at a slumber party?" Kanda asked, ruffling my hair.
"Yes, but there was a drunk rabbit running around outside our room," I say, glancing at Lavi. Said idiot then ran over to us and slid down on his knees, jamming out on an air guitar, and sings, "Oh yeah, loving you is red!"
"Everybody dance now!" Lenalee said, grimacing as Lavi begins doing just that, but he looked more like a kangaroo having a seizure.
Foxy looked down at the rabbit, "Wow, you really can't drink."
"Neither can Kanda," Marie and Lenalee say together. Laughing, I say, "It's a good thing that I'm unable to get drunk then."
Fou says, "If it were possible for parasitic-type exorcists to get drunk, what kind of drunk would you be?"
Shrugging, I reply, "Probably about the same as Lavi."
"Kanda's a pervert drunk," Lenalee giggles, getting a glare from the samurai.
"Ooh, someone get me a bottle of saki then!" I joke. A little yelp escapes me as my boyfriend grabs me and pulls me to him, leaning down and whispering in my ear lowly, "No need for alcohol."
Eyes widening, I try to get away and beg, "Help me! I'm about to be violated!"
"Great! Someone get the camera!" Lenalee commands, staring at me as I struggle.
"Yellow, emerald, pink, orange," I mutter.
"Allen's about to be raped! I need Yullen footage! This is going to be smoking hot! GET THE CAMERA!"
Hanging my head, I whimper, "Please, let me go, Kanda."
"Are you sure? Lenalee's birthday is in a few months, so we could give her an early present," he huskily suggests in my ear.
"No, I'm fine with waiting," I say quietly. Lenalee adds, "Yeah, and I almost forgot. Kanda, you can't do anything to your moyashi until after the baby's born."
"I'm not a moyashi!"
"What do you mean? We can't have sex?" he asks, obviously not very keen on the idea as he holds me tighter.
Nodding, she explains, "Basically."
"And why is that?"
Rolling her eyes, she says, "You really are a moron. At this point in the pregnancy, something that, err…action-packed...could hurt the baby. As in, it could cause a miscarriage or give her a defect, not to mention the ninety-five percent chance that you would break one or four of Allen's ribs."
When she said the word "miscarriage", I immediately winced and tried to back up closer to Kanda. Some part of Lavi must have detected my unease, and he hops up from the ground, wrapping his arms around me and my boyfriend, "I think someone needs a hug!"
The heat and anger emanated off Kanda, but as the smart people ran, I was stuck as I struggled to get away.
"USAGI!"
oO_Oo_oO_Oo
"Make that two things I'll be talking to Brother about. What was the point of trying to get Kanda and Lavi drunk?" Lenalee chattered, lying down on her sleeping bag after changing into a dark purple undershirt and black panties. Shaking my head, I correct, "No, he succeeded with Lavi."
"I want to see Kanda drunk," Foxy said, zipping her sleeping bag up.
"Me, too," Fou says. "I may know him longer than anyone, but Lenalee's the only one who saw."
"Yeah, but Marie mentioned something about thing he said while he was drunk on his birthday," I add. Laughing, Lenalee says, "And whatever it was, it sure got him to shut up."
Kicking my legs, I whine, "Oh, I must know!"
We decided that whatever it was, it was definitely about what he wanted to do to me sexually, and probably in detail. It makes me tingle! In a good way though. Too bad we can't have sex.
As we were having this conversation, Lenalee interrupts, "I have an idea for a last game we can play!"
"Yeah?" Foxy, Fou, and I ask in unison, looking at our friend.
"Tomorrow morning, we have to figure out something to give to our boyfriends or crush that they shall treasure forever! Then, we give them our presents in three days," she finishes. Nodding, Foxy says, "That sounds great! I already have something in mind for Johnny."
"I like it. My Christmas gift was awful, and then he gets me a kitten! That jerk," I mumble, getting odd looks from the rest of the girls. Seeming uncertain, Fou says, "I don't know. I mean, I don't know what Chaoji would like."
Lenalee suggests, "Give him something Chinese. He is from China, right?"
Nodding, the humanoid says, "Okay, I'll do that!"
"What are you going to get Lavi?" I ask.
"Not telling. You'll find out in three days," she says simply. Pouting, I say, "Fine, be that way."
This time, I wasn't going to screw up. This time, Kanda is going to absolutely adore his gift!
Author Note: Sorry about the short chapter, but I'm doing the chapters every other day, and the next one should be out Saturday. See ya then, and please, Please, PLEASE R/R!
