A/N: Aaaah a dead sea mineral face mask and Tazo iced green tea. w makes one feel good. Not much going on. I got some stuff put up in my new room! I put up my comic volume binders up on the shelf papa gave me with my DVDs and video tapes:3 I also hung up my great granpa's old map of the Caribbean and put up the Chinese silk tapestry that I got from his house as well when he died. I also put up my Sweeny Todd movie poster and my Hogwarts banner over my TV. XD AWESOME! I'M DECORTATING AGAIN!! o3o oooooh I can't wait to actually truly be living here….

-.o and it seems I'm allergic to whatever is in this other mask I've got. My face turned bright red and hot after I washed the stuff off. Weird.

Chapter Forty-Three

Cuchulainn sat outside underneath the tree where the ogham stone sat looking over his wife's grave. His back leaned against the tree as he set his arms on his drawn up knees. The breeze had a chill to it, though not unpleasant.

"I ask you, Emer… am I wrong in wishing to marry again?" he said softly. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree, letting the gentle chilly breeze move over him. "I wasn't here to protect you because the very woman I wish to marry had taken me away from you. Of course I was never really good at staying in one spot and the little queen knows this. She even kept it bottled up inside her to keep from speaking what she wanted. I had to coax it out of her with a goodly number of m'charms." He rubbed his face and sighed. "The people don't like her; I know this from watching them talk about her disappearance and what Fergus has told me."

He watched the grass for a moment before sitting. "Hmmh! It seems I'm in a bit of a problem, hmmm?"

Indeed, the people of Ireland made the cruelest of jokes about the queen of Briton; often, however, they simply were just glad that they had their beloved Cuchulainn and not her for their leader. He had told the little woman that he would marry her and he would, but he could not promise any sort of real peace for them nor could he promise that he would always stay by her side. That had been why she had refused to speak her heart to him and why he had to coax her so hard to get her to talk. She was afraid she would bind him down, keep him caged, the way she did everything else in her vicinity.

He thought about it and wondered how on Earth he was going to convince the people of Ireland and Briton that the match was not about him being completely mad. Indeed, he sometimes thought he was mad for feeling so alone with out the little queen; wanting her near and yet repulsed by his desire for her. One part of him hated her, another part loved her. He simply couldn't figure out which it was that had control over his senses.

Small hands touched his face and stroked his hair with light movements, as though the person were afraid to even touch him. He opened his eyes and smiled faintly at the face of Arturia, half hidden by the simple hood she wore over her head. "You'll catch your death if you don't wear something warmer," she said, looking away as a small blush filtered into her cheeks.

"Worried for my well being, little queen?" he said, smirking at her deviously. She stood up sharply and moved away from him, keeping her head down. He sighed and stood up. "You are entirely too stiff, woman. Lighten up a little; the people here don't know it's you."

"There's nothing the matter with me," she said stiffly.

He snorted and put a hand on her head, pushing her down a little. She swatted at him as she pulled away from him, the hood coming off in his hand. He yanked it and pulled her back, her pale hair fairly glowing in the sunlight. "Oi, what's wrong with you, eh? You've been damn near as cold as the weather of your own land since I accepted your proposal. I haven't told the people yet, but I will soon enough." He pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her, looking down at her. She wouldn't look at him, simply looking at his chest and nothing else. "My eyes are up here, y'know," he said, grinning as her ears turned a little pink along with her cheeks. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything," she said. "I simply thought you should be informed that the chilly weather should be treated with a warmer set of garments rather than sitting out here and waiting for death." She even spoke to his chest!

Her pale hair was messy from his mistreatment of her hood. He chuckled and attempted to pat it down, though this did little good. "If you are to be my wife, I have a small set of rules you must adhere to," he said softly. She still wouldn't look up at him and didn't speak; the shell firmly in place over her entire being. He hated that shell of hers! "If we are to wed, you must look at me when you speak to me, you can't be so quiet with me either…" She looked up at him and he grinned down at her, putting his hands on her shoulders as he moved away slightly and leaned down so she didn't have to look up as far. "I'm not always going to be there… I can't, it's not in me to be in one place forever. We'll be constantly moving back and forth between this land and yours simply to rule both. My steward can handle things and so can your knights. But above all else, you have to not hide behind that shell you always hold up around yourself. You can do it to anyone else, but to me… you have to take it down and let me see you for who you are."

She looked at him and he could see a good bit of turmoil inside them. They were no longer as cold and unfeeling as she made them normally; the shell she wore was breaking down a little bit to reveal her true self to him in that moment. "You… might not want me… if you knew who I really was," she said softly. As quickly as he saw it, the shell came up over her again, her eyes grew cold and she moved away from him, pulling the hood up over her head.

"I have already ordered a ring to be made… I think you'll like it," he said, smiling faintly at her. "As well as a necklace and earrings and bracelet to compliment it."

She turned her back to him and he grunted at her. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and eyed her coolly. "I said I'm marrying you and I will. I'll take you and that desolate land you call home as my own and live with it."

"Are you certain?" she said softly. "What if I cage you up? What if I force you into positions that contradict your nature? I will break you and turn you into a shell of yourself if you do marry me, Cuchulainn. My true nature is that of the raging beast that tore you limb from limb."

Cuchulainn watched her a moment before she started to walk off. He frowned deeply as he watched her. He started to feel an odd pain in his heart as he thought about what she had said. It was the sort of thing he had claimed of her before he had seen what lay beneath the icy surface. It was too much of a coincidence to just be false. She showed it each time he pulled her into his arms and took her in her bed. There was a scared little girl inside her, one that had never been allowed to show herself until now. She had been brow beaten and ignored until Merlin came, but he doubted Merlin was able to pull such things out of her even if she was a child. After all, Merlin had helped orchestrate her conception and brought her up as he would a boy to make her the king of Briton; he had not brought her up as he would a daughter who had been so cruelly mistreated simply for a failure of a man who helped conceive her.

Fergus walked toward him and he walked to his foster father with a small smile. Behind him, he saw Elish and Caley running after him. He plucked them both up and held them in his strong arms, kissing them on their round cheeks. "They follow me everywhere nowadays," said Fergus, laughing.

Elish pouted faintly and hugged onto Cuchulainn's neck. Cuchulainn smiled faintly and shrugged. "They like their 'grandfather'," he said.

Fergus smiled faintly at Cuchulainn and shook his head. He looked away toward the castle. "Your little queen has been fairly silent," he said, "I wonder what you have done to make her so quiet?"

"She spends the grand majority of her life like that, old man," said Cuchulainn, shaking his head, "I have only been working every chance I've got to pull that woman out of the damned shell she keeps o'er herself." He sighed and looked to his little girls thoughtfully. "I want to marry her," he said.

Caley blinked at Cuchulainn and poked him on his cheek, looking a little irritated. Fergus eyed him for a moment. "Do you know what you are doing, lad?"

Cuchulainn crouched down and put Elish and Caley on their feet. "Aye, I do, Fergus. I've been thinking on it since I told her I would. In the heat o' the moment, one can hardly be trusted to their word, but… I have been thinking on it. She's tried to make me change my mind, saying she'll cage me up should she become my wife."

"Is that small girl going to be our new mam?" asked Caley, looking angry. Elish looked from her to him several times before looking curious.

"She's not a small girl," said Cuchulainn. "She is a woman and daddy wishes to marry her, so yes, she'll be your new mam."

"I don't want a new mammy!" Caley shoved at Cuchulainn and ran off quickly, Elish watching him with a curious expression, one very similar to Emer.

"What do you think of this, Elish?" he said as he stroked her hair. "Are you as angry as Caley for da wanting to give you a new mother?"

Elish gazed at him a moment before reaching her hands up to him, putting them on his cheeks. He blinked at her as did Fergus. "She's scared like sister," said the little girl. "She's scared and sister is scared too."

Cuchulainn watched his little girl a moment before picking her up and standing. "Aye, she's scared because Da makes her afraid, Elish. She's afraid because she wants to be good, I think, and afraid she can't be good."

Elish snuggled against him and mumbled as she hugged his neck. "Caley is afraid that the lady will take away mam, but mam is not gone. Mam's always here."

Fergus and Cuchulainn watched Elish carefully. The girl had always been rather quiet, though laughing happily and playing normally with her sister. She hardly ever said anything, but enjoyed the company of people around her and playing around. Could it be that the girl could discern people's emotions from watching them and listening?

"She's a lot like her mother," said Fergus. "Very perceptive."

"Yes, she is," said Cuchulainn as he rubbed Elish's back. "I better find Caley before she runs off too far." He handed Elish to Fergus and nodded to him and ran off.

"How do you know your mother is always here, Elish?" asked Fergus.

"Jus' know," said Elish softly.


"I know you've been going through my things, Emiya," said Merlin as he sat down in a chair. Emiya looked at him coldly, giving Merlin a strange feeling in his spine as he gazed at him. This man in front of him was no longer the little boy he helped train. "Arturia wishes to stay inside the school until further notice. She doesn't wish for you to come to her."

Emiya's eyes narrowed at him and Merlin glared at him, getting irritated at his behavior. "You're keeping me from my queen and I will find a way to her, whether I have your cooperation or not," said Emiya.

Merlin flicked his wand, watching Emiya tremble and twist slightly in his chair, eyes and mouth clenched shut in silent pain. Merlin hated using these spells for this reason, but the man was becoming harder and harder to deal with. It had begun to get to the point where he feared for his own safety. "Listen to me, Emiya… I will not have you trashing my room anymore, nor will you try to get to the school. Arturia is safe and being well cared for. I relay information back and forth and help run this kingdom, though like I actually want such a responsibility. Do not do anymore to look for her or you will have me to deal with, do you understand?"

Emiya choked out a response and Merlin moved his wand away from him, feeling a bit disgusting for having used such techniques for the man's cooperation. "Leave now, Emiya, and go do whatever it is you're supposed to do. For the time being until Arturia comes home, you will not to come into my room again, is that clear?" Emiya glared at him and moved out of his chair toward the door.

Merlin watched Emiya walk out and sighed in relief when the man had gone. The man had become very odd since the disappearance of Arturia, more obsessive about serving her. He already wouldn't listen or do what anyone else would ask of him, but now he had an even smugger look on his face every time someone looked at him.

Merlin sighed and leaned back in his chair, looking to the door. He would have to keep a very close watch on the man. The man was becoming more and more unpredictable the longer Arturia stayed away. He frowned as a thought occurred to him. Perhaps he should allow the man to go to Hogwarts simply to make certain Arturia didn't want him there.

He picked up the mirror and spoke to it until someone appeared in it. It looked to be Tom, looking a little bored and a bit irritated to be bothered. "Yes, Merlin, what is it you want?"

Merlin smiled faintly at Tom and nodded to him. "Is Arturia there? I wish to speak with her."

"She's off to Ireland, Ulster I think she said… said she had something to do there. She's been very quiet, so I trust she won't do anything foolish for the time being, but I put a tracer on her in case I was wrong," said Tom, smoothing his hair.

"Ireland? She went to Ulster, you say?" Merlin was a bit irritated that Arturia persisted after Cuchulainn and a little worried she was doing something everyone would regret. "Thank you, sir." The mirror went back to his reflection as he touched the mirror again. This was the only other mirror besides the one he normally used to communicate with that he had. He knew Emiya had the first and found himself feeling a little vengeful toward him for taking it, but continued to say a spell to direct the mirror toward his other contact.

Fergus appeared in the mirror and grinned at him. "Merlin, old man, good news to you! Arturia and the lad are getting married!"

Merlin landed on the floor on his rear with a loud "THUMP". He grunted as he rubbed his rear and got back into his chair. "What was that again?"

"I said the lad and the little queen are getting married!" said Fergus, watching Merlin with some surprise.

Merlin frowned and leaned back in his chair. "They are? Are you certain that such a thing isn't just Cuchulainn being beguiled by Arturia or something to that effect?"

Fergus grunted indignantly and thumped the glass of the mirror with his fingers. "Listen, you old mage, I asked the little queen to come because she seemed worried and she spent the night with the lad when she arrived and the next day Cuchulainn told me he was marrying Arturia. However, Arturia doesn't want to…."

That was all Merlin needed. So it wasn't Arturia that was insisting upon wedding the Irish king, but the king himself that insisted upon it. It was the first time in a very long time since he had brought up the girl that she seemed to show the slightest bit of remorse for something, as she most like felt about Cuchulainn. It would increase her empire and lands if she was to marry the king of Ireland and yet they had to convince her of it. That alone spoke volumes of what was more than likely going through her mind.

He got up after Fergus disappeared and went out. He didn't see Emiya hiding, nor did he see Emiya move to the door. Emiya, however, was shot backward as he tripped upon a spell on the door. He didn't cry out in pain. He bit his hand to keep from saying anything as he gathered himself up and ran to find where Merlin went.


"She's going to be married? That's great!!" said Gawain, laughing.

"Wonder how the people will take this," said Bedivere.

"Judging by how they treated her absence, not very well," said Lancelot.

"So who is she marrying?" asked Gaheris.

"King Cuchulainn of Ireland," said Merlin as he leaned back in his chair.

The knights collectively nearly fell out of their seats. "What?!" cried Galahad, spluttering.

Merlin smiled faintly and nodded at them. "She's planned to wed his royal highness King Cuchulainn of Ireland within the month over there… however, they're still trying to convince her of it."

Gawain frowned. "She's not accepting it? Then, why is she marrying him?"

"I have no idea, but it seems the wedding is still going to happen, that's what the steward of Ulster told me," said Merlin. "As an advisor to you lot, I felt it was my duty to inform you of this."

"Pardon our behavior, Merlin, we're simply surprised is all," said Bedivere. He frowned and rubbed his face. "Men, the people will hear of this eventually…"

"Aye, we should tell them soon what has become of their queen," said Gawain.

Lancelot looked to them and nodded. "I will do whatever needs to be done, my friends. I have joined your ranks in order to be of use to you; then let me do so."

Bedivere nodded to Lancelot and looked to the table in front of him, his name inscribed into the wood. "We'll have a great many problems, you realize."

"Many of us realize that this means Ireland and Briton will be brought together, Bedivere," said Gareth, "But I'm certain that for the moment, things will be all right." Bedivere nodded to him and stood up. The other knights followed suit and they walked out, leaving Merlin to gaze at the table.

"So she's managed to win the old hound's heart," he muttered. He closed his eyes and sighed. "But for what price?"