Harold Lowe's POV
Chapter 51
"So much for not wanting to start a panic," I muttered angrily under my breath.
It was half past one, and I was still stuck here, on deck, trying to load the lifeboats. In the past hour, I've ONLY lowered two. Two. Of course, much of that was due to the crowd.
For nearly thirty minutes, Murdoch and I struggled to convince the passengers to board. Almost every individual screeched that not a single thing in the world could force them to leave. Then all of a sudden, perhaps only two minutes after one, I see this whole wave of people running forward in a mad dash for their lives.
Well, looks like they discovered the leak at long last.
So, here we all were, racing against time. A swamp of people continued to overtake me and attempted to leap into the lifeboats.
And hell, I haven't been able to even begin my search for Jamie!
Glancing wildly around, I saw Murdoch had ambled off to heaven knows where, and Lightoller, therefore, had come over to fill in his spot.
He shot me a wearisome glance. I could see it in his eyes and through the beads of perspiration coursing down his face - Charles was scared. By God, all of us were! Never - never in a million years - did we ever think any of us would find ourselves in such a position as tonight.
All that training - all those experiences.
Nothing could have prepared us for such a horrific tragedy.
Yes, we were officers. We wore the fancy uniform and sported the cap. But behind all of that, we were men. Just men, like all the rest of 'em aboard. We had families. We had people we cared for. We had lives that we weren't willing to give up yet. We weren't ready to die.
Suddenly, I was called back to my senses as a man shoved me roughly to the side.
The bloody idiot! Where did he think he was going?
He firmly grabbed hold of the davits, shaking them in a panic. "Lower away! Lower away! Lower away!"
Some people really enjoy making my life more difficult, don't they?
As my mouth shot open, I found that my temper had easily gotten the better of me.
"If you will get to hell out of that I shall be able to do something! Do you want me to lower away quickly? You will have me drown the whole lot of them?"
My gosh, I really am a Welshman with this ruddy accent of mine...
The passenger turned, revealing an anxious face with a tiny mustache and two beady black eyes. Ismay?! Lordy, I can't afford to argue with this man now!
However, to my surprise, he simply nodded and ambled slowly away, evidently frazzled.
Well, that was easy.
My throat aching from yelling so much, I silently searched around for some more women and children. It was rather easy to convince them to leave now. With every second, the hysteria and desperation only continued to grow.
"Harry! Harry!"
Oh, thank goodness.
"Jimmy," I cried, "Mate, I don't think I've ever felt more blessed to see your face!"
Squeezing himself through the crowd, he flashed a very brief smile of relief as well, and gave me a quick pat on the shoulder. Even Jimmy, the officer who could never keep a straight face, was stark serious now. As his hand absentmindedly felt at the pocket containing his revolver, he heaved an unearthly sigh that I've never heard from him before. His eyes skimmed across the waters below, searching through the lifeboats and the various faces in them.
"Have you seen Jamie yet?" he questioned breathlessly.
My heart plunged only lower into my stomach.
"No," I mouthed, "I haven't. Not till she dropped me off at my room earlier. I...I thought perhaps she'd be with you, since you went to the party and whatnot."
His eyes flew from the shrieking passengers to my apprehensive face.
"No, I erm, left early - Bloody hell!" he shouted suddenly, a fearful panic coursing through him, "Damn it all! I think I know where she is..."
"Where? Jimmy, c'mon! Now is not a time to keep your revelations to yourself!"
"She must still be down at steerage, trapped with the others."
Trapped with the others? I failed to find my voice to reply, practically knocked into a horrific silence.
"The stewards," he continued grimly, "They were ordered to lock all the gates, till everyone else in the other two classes was able to board the boats."
I felt myself stumble forward, wishing that the sea beneath would just sweep me up and drag me to my perpetual damnation.
"Jimmy," I whispered, "We have to find her."
He only nodded, ordered the rest of the crew nearby to continue the job for me, and ushered me to come with him.
"Moody! Lowe! Where d'yeh think you two are wandering off to?! I need some help!" Charles screamed in agony as a hoard of men struggled to get past him.
"Jamie," I shouted back, "She's in trouble."
He blanched a considerable deal more, and immediately motioned for us to continue.
"Alright, go on then, the gal needs you!"
"Thank you, Lights," I mouthed. Jimmy saluted him reverently.
As we ran down the port side of the ship, we caught sight of Boxhall firing more flare rockets into the air. Up, up they went, exploding into a blinding flash of light above.
"Do they really think there are some ships nearby?" I questioned between gasps.
Jimmy nodded, pointing to the north in the dark horizon. "Y'see that light there? It can't be more than ten miles off. It was much brighter before. We were confident it was coming to us, but now...I dunno what the bloody hell happened. Its light is only growing dimmer."
Following his gaze, low and behold, I saw it too. It certainly gave the illusion that it was steaming straight for us.
I glanced back at Jimmy and noticed just how pale he had become. It was as if all of us had contracted the yellow fever.
"I mean, they have to have seen the rockets!" he continued angrily. "What do they think is goin' on? A bloody firework party?"
"If every fool wore a crown, we'd all be kings."
Despite ourselves, we laughed quietly.
"Look at Harry, getting all philosophical. What is that? A poem of yours?"
"A Welsh proverb," I corrected with a wise nod.
"Of course," he grinned, rolling his eyes theatrically.
"Here, I got one myself too. 'To marry a wife will cost you much trouble, but to fit out a ship the expenses are double.'"
People must have thought we'd gone absolutely bonkers. Here were two officers, running down the deck of a sinking ship, laughing like there was no tomorrow.
"What's that from?"
"A very sage officer by the name of James Moody," Jimmy replied regally.
"You should've majored in literature," I smiled broadly.
"And get the chance to miss a historic event like this? I figure we'll be in the papers by morning. Just you wait; they'll make movies about tonight. Big Hollywood productions with sappy love stories that'll even make grown men weep. I only hope they hire a handsome chap to play me! For you mate, ladies everywhere will be fantasizing about that accent of yours!"
"Jimmy? How the bloody hell do you do that?"
Believe it or not, we were still running and pushing through the crowds, trying to get to the direct stairwell that led down to steerage.
As we both ducked under a pair of davits, he shot me a curious look.
"Do what? What d'you mean?"
"Here we are on a sinking ship, and you still manage to cheer everyone up! You're a miracle worker, mate!"
He simply shrugged his shoulders and winked mischievously. "What can I say? My good humour is infectious."
Indeed it was.
Shooting past the band, which was playing some lively tune, I suddenly halted to a stop.
"Harry? Harry, now is not the time to admire the music..."
"No," I replied softly, "I just...have a feeling that we might find her here."
"What? I admire your sense of intuition, don't get me wrong, but how's that possible if she's stuck down-"
He never finished his statement.
Less than a moment later, two people ran out from the first class entrance, gasping for breath.
They were none other than little Marie and Jamie.
The tiny girl let out a sharp yell, pointing out our faces in the crowd.
"Jamie! Jamie! It's Jimmy and Harry!"
Jimmy stared at me in bewilderment, eyes as wide as the moon.
"And you call ME the miracle worker?!" he cried in disbelief.
