Chapter 55
RPOV
There were no words that I could possibly put on the absolute hatred I was accumulating for Natasha Ozera…she was nothing but a manipulative, conniving, slutty whore who didn't bother trying to keep her hands off other people's things!
Or boyfriends, in my case.
"Ugh!" I yanked the covers of the bed back with force, channelling my anger into everything I did. After punching a lot of it out on my pillow, I lay down exhausted. Once horizontal, my body refused to move an inch – even when Dimitri tiptoed in to check on me. I knew he was worried about me – I hadn't ever gone to be this early before.
My body's refusal to move suggested that it was time to sleep, but my mind refused. My thoughts swished around like a tornado, not quite knowing what I wanted to tackle first.
Before, I had considered Natasha Ozera no real threat; she was nothing but an irritating bug on my windshield that I figured would disappear eventually…
But she wasn't going anywhere.
Her tabs on Dimitri had intensified…or so I thought anyway. It seemed that she was more infatuated with him than ever these days. For heaven's sake, I had found her in his office earlier! I knew she had no reason to be doing work with him, which left me with only one conclusion as to why she had entered his office this morning.
I shuddered at the idea of them alone together.
It wasn't that I didn't trust Dimitri, because I did. With my life. It was Natasha I didn't trust, and I had experience when it came to bitches like her from when I was in high school; they could manipulate anyone into doing anything, even if the person never meant to do it.
And Dimitri…well, he was a bright man, but not the shiniest button in the box when it came to reading women.
"Goodnight, Roza," I nearly jumped at the closeness of his voice, not having heard him re-enter the room. I said nothing and pretended to be asleep as he placed a lingering kiss on my temple. I evened my breath out and listened to him moving about the room while getting ready for bed.
I loved Dimitri, and the idea of losing him was unbearable to me – something totally unthinkable. Especially to someone like Natasha. I wanted to be the rough, intimidating Rose Hathaway I used to be in high school and pummel her face into the ground, but the truth was – I didn't have the energy. Or the time; I was constantly on the fence, trying to decide what was more important; watching Tasha's every move, or focusing on my case.
The mattress dipped as Dimitri climbed in behind me and switched off the light. I sighed, feeling a little better when he naturally curled closer to me so that he could wrap his arm around my waist. He inhaled deeply and let out a breath, before kissing my softly once more and laying down, waiting for sleep to claim him.
Long after Dimitri had fallen asleep, I lay awake, still thinking: my mind had processed what had happened today with Tasha and I was finished with being upset…anger was the main emotion swirling within me.
I had decided that, for now, my case was my absolute concern. If something was to happen with Tasha, I could rearrange my priorities quite quickly and kick her ass, but as of now, I was going to figure out this case, and I was going to figure it out soon.
Usually on a Saturday morning, I would spend a few extra hours in bed - preferably with Dimitri, but if not, I was more than fine by myself.
Today, however, was different. As the sun rose and our curtain filtered the bright light entering our room, I eased myself from Dimitri's light embrace and freshened up. By the time Luka was waking up, I was already washed, dressed and ready to go downstairs.
He was happy to sit on my lap in our home office, eating mashed up banana while I shuffled through every detail of my case again, knowing that there had to be something that I'd missed. When he was finished, I put him on the ground and let him play with a toy until Avery arrived.
"What are you doing up so early?" I was just standing to get myself a snack when Dimitri appeared in the office doorway. "That's not like you."
"I woke up pretty early and decided to get some work done," I replied, giving him a small smile. Guilt washed over me at how I had acted towards him last night; I hadn't exactly been mean, but I had definitely hurt him by shutting him out, which I knew he hated – his wary stance was evident as he wavered in the doorway, unsure of what I wanted him to do. I put Luka's empty breakfast bowl down and wrapped my arms around Dimitri. He definitely seemed taken aback by my sudden change in attitude, but gladly returned my tight embrace.
"I'm sorry," I whispered into his ear. I didn't say anything else, but I was certain that he knew what he was apologising for when his arms tightened around me in a quick squeeze.
I leaned back to pick up Luka's bowl again, and laughed when Dimitri refused to let me go. His smile brightened immensely.
"What are you smiling at?" I couldn't help but beam back at him; he really did have a beautiful smile.
"You. I've missed your laugh." I swatted him away lightly and went to pick up Luka, who had begun to fuss.
"Are you feeling better today?" Dimitri asked me as he followed me into the kitchen. I fitted Luka into his high chair and placed a kiss on Dimitri's lips. "You seemed…down, yesterday."
"Sorry about that, comrade," I replied quietly, watching him as he divided his attention between what I was saying and formulating a bottle of milk for Luka. "I think it's just some withdrawal symptoms from going off my meds…They're making me feel pretty crappy."
"I understand," he wrapped both arms around me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. "You know that when you feel bad, I want you to talk to me, I want to help you."
"I know, comrade," I turned in his arms. "But sometimes it's easier to process my feelings on my own; they can get pretty jumbled."
"Okay," he leaned his forehead against mine and inhaled a deep breath. "You know I love you though?"
"Is that a question?" I chuckled. "Of course I do."
"Good," he moved away as Luka was clearly unhappy with the lack of attention, and I grabbed a muffin.
"I love you too, by the way," I announced, watching Dimitri toss our baby up into the air. Luka laughed loudly each time. My thoughts took a turn and I felt my brows furrow as I fell deep into thought.
"What are you thinking about?" Dimitri looked genuinely curious at my sudden change. He put Luka on his play mat and walked around the counter to me.
"I just…" I looked up at him, brows still furrowed. "Are you my boyfriend?"
Dimitri stared blankly back at me as if I'd grown three heads. His brought his hand up and rested it against my forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Yes!" I smirked and swatted his hand away lightly. "That's not what I meant…What I meant to say was, does that seem like enough to you?"
Dimitri's face remained expressionless, still unsure of what I was getting at. I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"'Boyfriend' just…doesn't seem like enough, you know? I feel like you're more than that. But I can't think of the word for it…"
"Partner?" Ivan announced his arrival downstairs by giving his input into our conversation. I scrunched my face up.
"Ew, no, that makes us sound like we're sixty," my reply made Dimitri laugh.
"Significant other?" Dimitri then suggested, to which I angled my head in thought. It wasn't awful…but still not right.
"I've got it!" Ivan proclaimed. "Fuck buddy!"
I rolled my eyes and Dimitri flung a piece of fruit at him. Luckily, my boyfriend had an excellent aim, and the fruit hit Ivan right between his eyebrows. This, of course, caused a surge of giggles to erupt from Luka, who had been watching with interest. I melted at the sound; it was definitely in my top three favourite sounds in the world.
"We are not 'fuck buddies,'" Dimitri rolled his eyes and kissed my temple.
"Well, technically," I added. "We are. But our relationship is more than just sex…I love him."
Dimitri turned my body to his so that he could place a kiss on my lips. "And I love you too."
Needless to say, our peck on the lips quite quickly became heated. If Ivan minded, he didn't say anything…or maybe he did…I couldn't be sure. We were both a little distracted.
"Oh my god!" At Viktoria's sudden exclamation, Dimitri and I broke apart. I grinned cheekily at the sheepish look on his face.
"Sorry, Vik," I apologised, not very sorry at all. I glanced over my shoulder at her to find that it wasn't us she was looking at.
"No, not you guys! Look at Luka!" My head snapped up at the exact same time Dimitri's and Ivan's did. We gasped simultaneously as we watched Luka, who had managed to pull himself up onto his two feet. He was using the counter as a means of staying upright, but looked very much like he wanted to walk towards Ivan.
Suddenly, the kitchen was filled with our encouragements and Luka glanced around at us all, his eyes glistening at the attention. After a few moments, his gaze finally settled on his godfather.
"Gaah…" Rapidly, his right foot moved forward, followed by his left, and he let go of anything that was holding him up.
"Oh my god," I breathed and leaned into Dimitri, whose arm wrapped tightly around my waist. Luka's face creased in concentration and delight as he discovered walking by himself for the first time. Ivan had moved down to the ground at this stage to be at eye level with Luka, and held his arms out in encouragement. Happily babbling the entire way, Luka made his way unsteadily into Ivan's arms, collapsing at the last possible second; he was close enough for Ivan to pull him into his arms, and immediately, we had surrounded them to congratulate our baby.
Dimitri gathered him into his arms, which made him giggle and clap with delight. Once the climax of the moment had died down, Dimitri went to call Olena and I snuggled Luka into my neck. He breathed deeply, tired after the excitement that had just surrounded him.
"Who's a clever boy," Viktoria cooed over my shoulder at him. "Mama's going to be so excited…and upset that she missed it. I think she was secretly hoping you guys would come home for his birthday anyway."
"I know she was," I sighed sadly. "I wish they were here too, but summer's not too far away, and-" I was about to say that once our cases were wrapped up, Dimitri and I would be able to afford both time and money to put towards a trip to Montana, when my phone started to ring.
"Here," Viktoria held her hands out to take Luka from me. "I'll get him changed, you take that."
"Thanks Vik," I quickly pulled out my phone before it rang out and held it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Agent Hathaway?"
"This is she."
It turned out to be the Private Investigator I had hired. He filled me in on some unusual activities of a 'Nathan Whitt' – a lot of which were within the last year or two.
"I think you should fly out here," he advised. I started.
"Fly out where? To Montana?" I checked with him, totally gobsmacked.
"That's where Nathan seems to be; I think it's where you should be too."
"I-" My eyes landed on Luka's play mat and the rest of the toy scattered room. "I can't come out there…not just yet anyway." Dimitri, having heard what I just said as he entered the room, raised an eyebrow. I signalled for him to wait just a moment.
"I'll call you back when I've made plans, ok?"
"What was that about?" Dimitri asked once I had hung up. He put him phone back on the counter and leaned towards me looking interested.
"That was my P.I.," I told him. "He's found some stuff that suggests that Nathan Whitt is still alive."
"Well, that's great, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is, but whatever information they found is all in relation to Montana…meaning I have to fly out there," I sighed in frustration.
"So go," Dimitri encouraged, moving around the counter to look me in the eye. "This could be a definite lead, Roza."
"I can't go!"
"Why not?"
"If I go, I'll miss Luka's first birthday…and I can't do that." Dimitri didn't say anything for a few moments, letting me calm down.
"Do you want to know what I think?" he said eventually, turning my body until I was facing him. His I nodded and took a deep breath as his hands cupped my face.
"I think you should go. Go to Montana and figure out this case, Roza. I'll be here with Luka – and so will Ivan and Vika. He's not going to remember it anyway. Plus, we can celebrate when you get back."
"This is how it starts."
Dimitri looked confused at my comment, and I looked down at our joined hands. "What starts? What do you mean, Roza?"
"The start of me becoming my mother, Dimitri!" I exclaimed. "It starts on Luka's first birthday, and I can't be there because of work, but I promise to be there for next occasion! Then on the next special occasion, I can't be there because something else comes up and everything starts snowballing! Next thing I know, Luka's twenty years old and hates me!"
"Woah, woah, woah," Dimitri pulled me into his chest. "Luka will never hate you. Look at me, Roza." He tilted my head upwards. "Go to Montana. Deal with your case. Just because you'll miss the day of his actual birthday, doesn't mean you won't want to celebrate it when you come back. You are not your mother, Roza. I won't let that happen."
"You promise?" I gazed into his eyes, wanting to know if I could count on him to remind me of this conversation if I ever started to get lost in my work and neglect Luka. I found exactly what I needed.
"I promise."
Hello dearies :) Hope you guys had a lovely Saturday :) May not be an update next weekend, but you can count on one the weekend after ;)
I'm pretty bogged down in exam-related blues...but you know, some reviews would really cheer me up ;)
Also, 25 days until the VA movie is released here! :D
