Chapter 56

Sam and Naomi spent another full day in DC, making sure that everything was truly over. Tim stayed with them and was there when they called to tell Sarah the good news. She was making plans to come home and see them and she said that Tim had to be there, too. He said he would try.

But then, strangely enough, it was time to go back to normal life. It was hard to accept that it was possible, but it was.

The problem was that there were a few loose ends to tie up.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"How long do you think Tim will be up with Vance?" Tony asked, looking up toward the office.

Gibbs followed his gaze and shook his head.

"Don't know."

"Vance wants him back. He'll be back," Tony said, trying to convince himself.

Gibbs just nodded. It was true that Vance hadn't wanted Tim gone and had even made sure that Tim's resignation wasn't processed, but there was no question that Tim had made his job difficult. It was also very likely that Vance had a number of questions. Plus, even if the State Department was declining to pursue charges, Jarvis might push for something to be done, given the nature of Tim's actions. The worst of it was that Gibbs knew Tim wouldn't fight whatever it was. He would feel it was his just deserts.

Sometimes, Tim's sense of right and wrong could be extremely irritating.

Then, Gibbs' phone rang. Tony looked at him and then at the phone, as if he expected it to explode or something. Gibbs just answered,

"Gibbs."

"Good morning, Agent Gibbs. This is Sam McGee. Do you have a moment?"

"Yes. What is it?"

"My wife and I are heading back to Ohio this morning. Tim had to get back to his job, and I have to get back to mine. Sarah will be coming back soon enough, and with the upcoming charges being likely, we'd prefer to be out of the way when all that happens. Captain Coleman told us that we should be ready for possible contact over the next couple of months, but probably not beyond that. Thomas Kempis said, 'When a man is out of sight, it is not too long before he is out of mind.' I can only hope that it's the case with me."

"I agree."

"Anyway, Naomi is gesturing for me to get on with it. I have two questions for you. First, is it possible for Tim to get some time off? I understand that he might need to be there for some of the wrap up and everything, but maybe this coming weekend or some other time? We've started talking about it all, but I know that it hasn't been a vacation for him, either, and I think it would be better if we could spend some time together as a family. I'm sure that Tim hasn't asked for it."

"Hasn't asked me," Gibbs said.

"Yeah. He won't, either, unless we force him. He wants to make up for the punishment he won't be getting. Do you think it's possible?"

"Probably. Have to ask, but I think it'll be all right."

"Good. Thank you. Now, the second question might just take you by surprise."

Gibbs smiled a little. A lot about this mess had taken him by surprise.

"What is it."

"Could you give me directions on how to get to Charlie's house?"

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Do you have anything more to add, Agent McGee?" Vance asked.

"No, sir. I know the State Department isn't going to charge me with anything, but I did go UA at the very least," Tim said. "If you want me to have any punishment, I won't fight it."

Vance raised an eyebrow at him. Tim figured that he probably didn't understand why he was saying it.

"You're lucky Secretary Jarvis isn't here to hear that. He just might take you up on that offer."

Tim leaned forward, earnestly.

"Director Vance, I never expected to be back here. I figured that, whether I succeeded or failed with my father, I'd be in prison. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate it, and I know that you probably had to deal with a lot because of me. I just..." Tim sighed. "I broke the law, sir. It wasn't a mistake on my part. I knowingly committed a crime."

"And you feel you should be punished even though everyone is telling you that it won't happen?" Vance asked.

"The reason I did what I did was because someone else broke the law and I wanted him to be punished for it, instead of my dad who did nothing wrong. I shouldn't place myself above what I expect of others."

Tim was surprised at Vance's expression. It was a tolerant smile, as if Tim was saying something ridiculous instead of just.

"Agent McGee, while that is all very noble, I know it's not what you want. I also know that you very likely don't really think your actions compare to those of Secretary Stidden. You might think you should be punished for it, or maybe it's just that you convinced yourself that there was no other way for this to turn out. I can't read your mind, but what I think you need is not some kind of punishment. You need a vacation."

"I've already been gone for more than two weeks, Director. It seems wrong to be rewarded for this."

Vance stood up and walked around his desk. Then, he sat down by Tim.

"Agent McGee, what happened here was the best possible outcome. Why are you refusing to accept it?"

"I accept it. I'm really glad that Dad got out of it."

"Accept that you got out of it, too."

Tim took a deep breath, unsure why Vance was pushing this.

"Take a vacation, Agent McGee. Spend some time with your family, since that's what you went through all this for. I'd like you to stay until the weekend, but then, I don't want to see you back here until the next week. Understood?"

"Yes, sir. ...no, I don't understand."

"That's why you need a vacation. Accept that you're not getting any punishment for this...unless you try to get away with it, again."

Tim smiled a little. That was almost exactly what Secretary Drake had said.

"If someone came after my family again, I couldn't guarantee it."

"If someone came after your family again, I wouldn't push it."

Vance stood up and went back behind his desk.

"Finish out the week, Agent McGee. That's an order if I have to make it that, and then, take a week off to be with your family and enjoy your success. That's all."

Tim nodded and stood up. He walked out of Vance's office and stopped at the stairs. He looked down and saw Tony at his desk, Gibbs just getting off the phone. He took another breath and headed down the stairs.

"Hey, McGee! You survived Vance's office!"

Tim got down to the bottom before he responded. He didn't really want to have people focusing on him.

"Guess I did." He looked at Gibbs. "Boss, Vance wants me to take time off next week. If that's okay. If it's not, I'll..."

"It's fine, McGee," Gibbs said.

"Are you sure?"

"Don't question a vacation, Tim," Tony said. "Just enjoy it."

Tim walked to his desk and sat down. He just couldn't help feeling that everyone was reacting wrong to this. He had made things difficult. He had committed a crime. He had ignored everything and everyone except his dad. And they were acting like he'd done something amazing. He tried to focus on something work-related, but he couldn't.

Finally, after about an hour, he couldn't handle it. He got up and walked over to Gibbs.

"Can I talk to you, Boss?" he asked.

Gibbs looked at him with raised eyebrow, but then, he nodded and gestured for Tim to precede him to the elevator. They got on and Gibbs stopped it almost instantly.

"What is it?"

"This just isn't right, Boss."

"What isn't?"

"All this! I did the wrong thing, Boss. I ignored everyone except my dad. No one else mattered. I was willing to do anything for him, but... I didn't think about the other people involved. I tried to force you to give up on me, and you wouldn't. The whole world could have fallen apart, but I just wanted my dad to be safe. And now... Now, everyone is acting like I was right."

"You were."

"No! I was right that my dad was innocent, but everything else..."

"Tim, take a breath."

"What?"

"Breathe," Gibbs said.

"What?" Tim asked again.

"Breathe. Breathe in, and then, breathe out."

"For how long?"

"Until I'm ready."

Tim furrowed his brow but did as Gibbs said. He just breathed in and out for about a minute. He felt embarrassed by it, but when Gibbs gave an order...

"Now, listen to me."

"But..."

"Listen! If you're thinking that you made the wrong choice about how to get your dad out, maybe you're right. Maybe we could have done this without the choices you made, but we'll never know that, and what you did choose ended up working. Your dad is free, and so are you. Don't focus on the fact maybe you made a bad choice. Focus on the fact that it worked. Against all the odds. It worked. No one got hurt. The only person who is going to suffer is Stidden, but you'll probably never find out what happened, unless they force it. So stop questioning. Don't second guess yourself."

"Or you'll take my badge?" Tim asked, softly.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"That was about hesitating to do what you needed to do. You didn't hesitate this time."

Tim bit back the obvious response, and he could see that Gibbs knew what he wasn't saying.

"Let this be a good thing, Tim," Gibbs said. "It is. Let it be."

Tim took another deep breath (without being ordered to).

"I'll try."

"That's why you need a vacation. It's not a reward. It's a necessity."

Tim took another deep breath and nodded.

"And you're going to have to let everyone welcome you back. They've been worried."

Another nod.

"Good." Gibbs flipped on the elevator.

The doors opened and Tony was staring with a questioning expression.

"Back to work, McGee," Gibbs said.

Tim nodded one last time and walked back to his desk. He still couldn't rid himself of the worry, but at least he'd said it.

Back to work.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Sam, I don't know if this is a good idea," Naomi said.

Sam just smiled. "I know you don't. That's why I'm doing it and not you. I don't trust you to let him talk and not kill him."

"He didn't want to see you. If he had...he would have," Naomi said.

"I know that, too. I also know Charlie."

"As he was thirty years ago," Naomi said, not taking her eyes off the road. "It's been a long time. People change."

"Doesn't sound to me like he's changed much. And if I'm right, Charlie just doesn't dare see me. It's not about whether he wants to. It's that he doesn't dare to. He doesn't want to confront what he did to me, but it's been thirty years, and I need to hear from him why. It's not going to change me...but it might change him. 'Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are.' Bryant H. McGill."

"You're a better person than I am."

"No," Sam said, shaking his head. "Just like Tim, there's a degree of selfishness in this. I want to understand for myself, but whether I do or not, I want to let Charlie explain himself."

"Whether he wants you to or not," Naomi said with a smile.

"He was one of my best friends. I relied him so many times, but when it mattered most, he let me down. But he was my friend for a lot of years, and because that, I have to give him a chance to talk."

"What if he doesn't want to?"

"Then, that will be it. I can't force him, but I think he wants to."

"I can't forgive him, not after seeing you the way you were. That was too hard. It almost destroyed you."

Sam rubbed her shoulder.

"I understand. I don't know if I can or not, but I'm going to find out." Sam looked out the window. "This should be it on the right."

Naomi nodded and slowed down. She turned off the road and they got their first look at the place Charlie had been living for the last thirty years. It was small and unassuming.

"He certainly wasn't living it up," Sam said.

"Are those bullet holes in the windows?" Naomi asked in surprise.

"It looks like it," Sam said, now worried that there was something else going on.

"Tim said that someone shot at them but..."

Quickly, Sam got out of the car and into his wheelchair.

"Hello?" he called out. "Anybody here?"

A faint voice answered him.

"I'm in the back. Just give me a second, I'll be right out!"

Then, walking around the house came Charlie. He was older by thirty years, but Sam could see the same man he'd known. He could see it in how Charlie moved, in how he looked.

...and he could see the instant hesitation when he realized who was there.

"Sam."