Chapter Fifty
William knew he shouldn't have gone to judo, because he still wasn't feeling well, and because he would find that he was crying and he didn't know why. Twice Mrs Shugak had asked him what was wrong and he hadn't been able to answer. The second time she'd taken his temperature and told him she would make an appointment for him to see the doctor. But Mrs Shugak would be leaving early, because his father was coming home after having a short meeting in Valdez, and he wouldn't be able to explain to his father why he wasn't at judo either.
Usually he walked over to Matt's cabin, and then he and Matt walked over to Rosie's, and they got the dogs and walked on to the school. But he didn't feel like walking, because he still hurt inside, and he didn't want to see Rosie at all.
"Are you sure you should be going to judo?" Mrs S asked, concerned.
"I promised Henry I'd help with the little ones," William said.
"You don't look well at all, even if you don't have a fever," Mrs S remarked. "I'll call Marty. He can drive you. And I'm calling the doctor."
William hated the doctor. The doctor was stupid. He asked William if his head still hurt, and if he heard voices. The last time the doctor had asked if he'd heard voices, he'd said, "I'm hearing you, aren't I?" Mr Shugak had turned away, as if he were laughing, but the doctor had gotten mad. William usually hated it when people were mad at him – but he didn't care whether he made the doctor mad at all. The doctor gave him medication that made the cottony feeling worse, even when he wasn't hearing voices, and so William had learned how to hide the pills in his mouth, and later he would spit them out.
"Okay," William agreed.
Mrs S looked at William sharply. "Now I am calling the doctor," she said. It wasn't like William to give in so quickly on being driven. The last time she'd told him he couldn't walk somewhere, and would have to wait until someone could drive him, he'd erupted into a rage that had lasted several hours, until the threat of calling his father ended it.
William didn't say anything, because he didn't care. She could call the doctor. He would just spit the medication out. He sat quietly on the sofa and waited for Mr S to come for him. He could hear Mrs S talking to someone on the communicator in the kitchen. When she came into the living room, she said, "Does your head hurt, William?" and he just rolled his eyes.
"I'm not hearing voices either," he said, and then he paused, "except yours."
Mrs S said, "Don't be smart, William."
Usually he would apologise, because he just wanted there to be no trouble, but he didn't feel like apologising either. He thought about it for a moment, and then he realised what he felt like was kicking something. Maybe going to judo would be a good thing.
"William," Mrs S said.
He sighed. "I'm sorry," he said, but he wasn't. He wished everyone would just leave him alone. He heard the air car in the drive, and he stood up, and went to the door.
"Have a good time, William," Mrs S said. She didn't sound mad anymore.
"Yes, ma'am," William answered.
"If you don't feel well, have Henry call me," she added. "William?"
"Yes, ma'am." He opened the door and walked outside.
It was after supper, but the sun was still high in the sky, because it wouldn't really set at all, and there was a light wind blowing off the sea, which he could almost smell. He got into the car – Mr S let him ride in the front seat, because William didn't fidget anymore – and closed his eyes.
"Are you not feeling well, William?" Mr S asked as he pulled out.
William wanted to scream. "I'm okay," he said.
"Your head doesn't hurt?"
William was sure he was going to start screaming. "No, sir," he answered. "My head doesn't hurt."
"Do you have baseball practise tonight?"
William sighed. "I had it this afternoon," he said. "I always have baseball practise in the afternoon."
"You do, don't you?" Mr S was impossible to make angry. Sometimes he would forget really dumb things – like the fact that William had baseball practise in between his games every other afternoon – but that didn't seem to bother him either. Mrs S said that he always had his head in the clouds, but she didn't say it like it was a bad thing.
William wondered how he could be more like Mr S. Right now he was feeling angry, and like before, when he'd been crying, he had no idea why. Maybe it was just because Mrs S had called the doctor.
Mr S never dropped him off anywhere anymore. William got out of the air car, and he had to wait for Mr S to do whatever it took him so long to do before he got out of the car, and then Mr S would walk him inside wherever they were going. William knew why Mr S did this – Rosie had told him that Mr S cried when they'd found him in the snow – but it made him mad just the same. He wouldn't ever do that again, because it didn't work. Instead of being turned into stone he'd ended up in the hospital with a head that always hurt and a reputation for hearing voices, even when he never had.
He sighed again, and he let Mr S take his hand – and he was almost eight – eight! And he had to hold someone's hand – and they walked into the gym, where Henry was finishing setting up for judo practise. William tugged his hand away, before anyone saw, and mumbled a goodbye to Mr S, and walked over to help Henry.
Mr S was right behind him. "Can I see you for a moment, Henry?"
William said, "I'm fine."
"Of course," Henry answered.
"I said I'm fine!" William repeated.
Henry looked down at William. "Why don't you finish laying the mats then," he said, "if you're fine?"
This, William thought, was not going to be a good day. It was when he knew he shouldn't have gone to judo practise.
"Yes, sir," William said.
He watched Mr S and Henry walk away, and he took the remaining mats and sort of threw them onto the floor, and then kicked them into place. Sammy came over – he'd joined judo practise, too, along with Danny and Jesse – and said,
"I guess Carl better not show up."
William finished kicking the last mat into place and said, "Why?"
Sammy grinned. "'Cause you'll probably beat him up again."
William found himself grinning back. "I did beat him up, didn't I?" he said. He found that he liked that idea.
"I heard," Sammy said, "that he lost a tooth, because you mashed his face into the dirt."
"Really?" William asked.
Sammy nodded. "I don't think he'll be saying stupid shit about Rosie anymore."
William didn't want to think about Rosie. He saw Henry look over towards him, and he felt himself getting all mad again. "Come on," he said. "I have to get the little kids stretching."
"Okay." Sammy was fairly used to this William being moody. The old William hadn't been, but that was a long time ago.
William corralled the little kids, Jake and Lucy and Josie and Jesse, who even though he was on William's team again this year, still qualified in William's mind as a little kid, and he got them on their mats, and made sure their shoes were stowed, and ran them through the stretching exercises that Henry had taught him. The other kids were now showing up, coming into the gym in dribs and drabs, Danny and Dmitri and Dmitri's cousins Michael and Niall and Maya and then finally Rosie and Matt.
Henry walked over and watched William as he helped the little ones with their stretching. He rested his hand on William's shoulder and felt the child go rigid beneath him.
"Your Uncle Marty says you aren't feeling well," Henry said. He kept his hand on William's shoulder, hoping it would reassure the boy, even if he didn't seem to like it.
"He's not my Uncle Marty," William said, shrugging out from underneath Henry's hand.
"I'll have Dmitri work with the little ones tonight," Henry said. "Do you feel like practising, Will, or would you just like to watch?"
"Am I doing something wrong?" William asked. He felt as if he were going to cry again.
"Of course not," Henry said. "I'm just worried, because Uncle Marty said you're coming down with something."
William glanced over at his friends, all of whom had gotten themselves ready, and were doing their stretches. Rosie saw him look at her, and she gave him her usual Rosie-grin, the one that was goofy and serious at the same time. William looked down at the floor and blinked very hard. He was not going to start crying here.
"I'm not coming down with something," he said. "I wish everyone would just leave me alone."
Henry said, "Why don't you come talk to me for a minute, Will."
"I don't have anything to say," William said, sullenly. The threat of tears was vanishing, to be replaced by the cottony feeling and a dull sort of ache that was settling in his stomach.
"Come on, Will," Henry said, and he let his hand fall on William's shoulder again. He placed his other hand on the boy's shoulder as well, and began to guide him towards the benches against the wall. "It's all right," he said in a soothing tone. "You can still be upset about what happened yesterday. You can talk to me about it."
For a moment, William was still. How did Henry know about yesterday? He could see the filmy staring eyes of Mittens, lying on his bed, could smell the stench of puke and shit, could hear his father saying, "You'll need to clean this up, Billy." It was as if it were happening all over again. Wrapping the cat up in the sheet. Taking it outside. Digging a grave, while his father watched him, a mug of coffee in his hand. Stripping his bed. Changing his clothes. What was there to talk about? The cat was dead, killed by his father. Rosie was still alive – but for how long?
"Will?" Henry said. "I think we should go in my office and talk about what's going on."
William exploded, and it caught Henry off-guard. He shoved himself backwards, into Henry, so that Henry missed a step, and then he wheeled around and launched himself at him, his arms and legs flailing and his hands balled into fists. Silence descended upon the gym, as the children watched in horror as William attacked Henry, pushing him backwards, pounding against his middle and chest. At first William was shouting – it sounded as if he were telling Henry not to touch him – but then it was just mindless screaming as William pummeled Henry with his fists. Henry reacted instinctively, from his years of training in the 'Fleet, and moved forward into William, checking him, and then Henry wrapped his arms around William, spinning him around, crossing his arms against his chest and then holding him there, letting William struggle against him, his voice hoarse from screaming and his face wet with tears.
Henry said, "Dmitri, go get your grandfather, he's outside. Matt and Rosie, gather up the little ones and sit them on the bench."
Dmitri nodded, his eyes wide, and took off running. Rosie calmly led Matt and together they got all the kids, even the big ones, to sit on the gym benches against the wall. Rosie walked towards Henry, who was still holding William.
"Rosie, stay with Matt," Henry said.
William saw Rosie coming and screamed, "Get away from me! Get away from me! I hate you! I hate you, Rosie!" and then he collapsed into sobs, his body shaking.
Martin Shugak ran in, followed by Dmitri, and immediately calmed himself down – he'd dealt with William's rages before. He walked up to Henry and said, "I'll take him. He'll cry himself to sleep now. I've got his medication in the car."
"Are you sure, Marty?" Henry asked.
"Yes," Mr Shugak replied. "William. Henry's going to let you go. Come on to me."
William felt Henry loosen his hold, and he sank to the floor. "Come here, William," Martin Shugak said quietly, and he gathered William in his arms and picked him up. He turned to Rosie and said, "He didn't mean it, Rosie. He'll be all right tomorrow."
Rosie nodded, but she didn't say anything. William didn't look at her; he just turned his face into Mr S's shirt.
"I didn't want him to touch me," William said. "It hurts."
"I know," Mr S said. "I'll take you home."
William started to cry again. "No," he whimpered. "I don't want to go home. I don't want to."
Mr S carried William to the air car, and Henry followed. "It's all right, William," Mr S said, setting William down on the back seat. "Mrs S is still there. We'll get you into bed."
Henry said, "Martin, you have to do something."
Mr S stood there, his hand resting on the car door, and he said, "What would you like me to do? No court is going to take the boy away from his father."
"But the man is hurting him," Henry protested. "Systematically hurting him."
"There's no evidence," Martin Shugak said. "And when there is evidence, it disappears." He bent down to William, who had fallen asleep, and stroked his hair. "He still allows us to be in William's life. It's the best that we can hope for. We try to do what we can. He's leaving again in a few weeks."
"I'm taking this to the tribal council," Henry said. "The boy is her son. He belongs to the tribe. There are laws in place. Someone has to do something."
Mr S shut the door. "The tribe can't fight the Federation, Henry," he said. "No one can. Just leave it be."
Henry said nothing, and Martin Shugak got into the air car and drove away. Neither one of them saw Rosie standing in the doorway of the gym, watching.
