"Can we please talk about it?"
You try to get Dean to look at you. He knows he hurt Sam, but they already had it out about the things Dean said. Although Dean has no idea he touched you like that, you feel like he needs to know. Getting Dean out into this small park with you was difficult enough, maybe you shouldn't be pushing it.
"Kate, I said no. Sam and I already talked it out. It's fine," he sips his coffee.
"I'm not talking about you and Sam," you say holding onto your decaf coffee.
He glances over at you with a wrinkled forehead. "What?"
"Before Sam and Garth showed up…" you close your eyes. This is harder than you thought. "You know, you're right. Let's talk about something else."
His eyes widen. "What did I do to you?"
"Nothing," you lie and look at the tree in front of the bench.
"What did I do, Kate?"
You feel his hand on your arm where he grabbed you before. Without thinking, you pull your arm away, flinching from his touch. He curses under his breath.
"Kate, it wasn't me."
You nod. "I know, Dean. I do."
"Tell me," he pleads.
"You shoved me, it's not a big deal." You sip your coffee.
He puts one leg on the bench to turn and face you. "I'm so sorry, Kate. But you're a shit liar. What else?"
"You shoved me…and I broke a chair."
"I shoved you through a chair?" the apology is riddled in his tone. "Anything else?"
You roll up your sleeves and show him the bruises of his fingers on your arms. His sudden intake of breath makes you jump a little.
"Kate…"
"You also called me a monster…and said you dream of the day you get to kill me." He tries to say sorry again, but you keep talking. "Dean, I've apologized for hurting you, for betraying you, for letting you down, and for every time I left."
"I know you have," he says confused.
You finally look him in the eyes. "Then why can't you forgive me?"
He looks down at his coffee. "I did… I just can't…shake the feeling you're going to do it again."
"Is that worth killing me over?" you whisper with tears forming in your eyes. "I'm so sorry, Dean."
He sets his coffee on the ground and pulls you into a hug. "I'm the one that is sorry. I never want to hurt you, Kate."
"You don't trust me, Dean. I can feel it." You cry into his green button up.
He rubs your back gently. "I'm trying to. It's just really hard lately. And it's not because you're a Ryth."
"Dean, I need you to trust me," you cry harder. "I can't…"
"You can't trust me?" his voice raises an octave in confusion again.
"No, I mean, I can't do this…if you don't trust me," you pull away from him and wipe your wet cheeks.
"We will work on this, okay?" Dean grabs your hand softly rubbing his thumb over your hand. "Don't leave me anymore."
"I'm supposed to be this strong beast," you laugh a little. "And here I am racing all over the country killing monsters, crying over someone I can't stop falling in love with, and drinking decaf."
"Wait what?"
You hold up your cup. "Decaf. I hate this stuff."
"No, I meant the other thing."
"Yeah, Dean. Not anything new." You try to shrug off the fact that you just admitted your love for Dean accidentally.
"You're falling in love with me again?"
You lean back against the bench. "I guess so."
"Hm," he thinks to himself for a moment. "Why?"
"Dunno. Maybe it's your taste in rings."
He laughs. "No I mean it."
"Why do you love me, Dean?" you sip your coffee.
"I don't know," he says.
You choke on your coffee, surprised at his response. "You love me?"
He blushes a little and smiles. "Yeah, I do. I don't think I ever stopped."
"Wow," you put your coffee in the trashcan next to the bench. "We suck at this."
He laughs and squeezes your hand. "Kind of."
"But we are so good at the sex part of a relationship, why is this part so hard?" you sigh.
Dean laughs again and laces his fingers with yours. "We are really good at that part, but you know…I'm better."
You cock your head to the side. "In what world?"
"Yours," he pulls you closer to him and puts his arm around you, dropping your hand.
"Yeah, okay," you say sarcastically. "And it's not like I fake it from time to time." You've never faked anything with him before, but this teasing is just too much fun.
He scoffs. "Damn, anything else you need to tell me?"
"Actually," you pull away from him and stand up. "We need to go to the store."
"What?" he stands up. "Why?"
"I'll tell you when we get there."
The drive to the store was filled with a game of 21 questions that you never agreed to. He never got close to 'we need a pregnancy test, you dumbass.' He parks the Impala outside of Walgreen's and looks at you expectantly. He wants you to tell him, but you're not sure how to say it.
"Don't get mad." Why would he? "I need a pregnancy test."
The words don't register with him right away. He smiles with his crow's feet showing around his eyes, "What?"
You nod and wait for him to figure out what you just said. He curses and smacks the steering wheel. He gets out of the car and goes in by himself. You sit and try to feel his emotions as he goes through the store. He's mostly embarrassed, but not really mad. Weird. Does he want a kid? He comes back out and hands you a bag without saying a word. You go back to the motel where Sam was supposed to be waiting, but he left a note saying he went to get food.
"Go on," Dean says. "Pee on the stick."
"You go pee on the stick," you say a little annoyed as you head to the bathroom.
You shut the door and put the box on the counter. Taking off your pants and underwear is just the first step to this torture. You sit down and grab the box. The safety seal is broken. What an idiot. He got an opened box.
"Dean, this box is opened already!" you shout.
He doesn't answer you. You open it up and shake out the contents. The stick falls into your hand with plastic still around it, but something else pops out and hits the floor. The hell? You reach and pick up the tiny object. You put your hand to your mouth to stifle the gasp. Dean's ring?
"Dean?"
He doesn't answer you. You quickly open the test and pee on it and place it on the counter. Pulling up your pants you walk out of the bathroom holding the ring. Dean is on one knee in front of the doorway. Tears are streaming down your face. What is going on?
"Dean…"
He takes your hand, and you can feel him shaking. "I promise to keep you as safe as I can, and I know you will do the same for me. I can't imagine my life without you. You're the best thing to ever happen to me. Katherine Amy Singer, will you marry me?"
"When did you learn my full name?" you try to keep the mood light and try to stop yourself from crying.
"Kate," Dean laughs his green eyes tearing up.
"You don't even know if I'm really pregnant."
"I don't care."
"I'm a monster."
"I don't care."
You swallow hard and nod your head like a bobble head. "Yes."
He shoots up to his feet and hugs you tightly. "I love you."
You slip the ring on your finger and hug him back. "I love you too."
"How long do we have to wait?"
"To get married?" This is all happening so fast.
"No," he kisses your head. "For the test."
"Oh, thank God."
He laughs nervously. "Is it like an hour or something?"
"No, about a minute or so."
You both take the test and sit on the bed, waiting. Dean gasps as one line shows up.
"That doesn't mean anything dumbass," you say lovingly. "Two lines means pregnant."
He kisses your cheek. "Okay, so we're good?"
You turn to face him. "Yeah, no baby in my oven. But why is my period so late?"
"Menopause."
You push him gently and laugh. "Shut up, dick."
