Augggggggghhhh" Tilly fumed punching the steering wheel of her car .. That women... She infuriates me .. She moaned to herself .. Why do I let her get to me so much !
?
It didn't matter what Tilly did Jen never cut her a break..
It took a lot for Tilly to come all the way down to the park to apologise for her Friends behaviour .. She at least thought Jen would be a little grateful ..
The more she sits dwelling on things the angrier she becomes ...
This situation wasn't easy for Tilly either but she was willing to at least be civil for the sake of jessie and Sophie..
Tilly was so fed up of Jen constantly blaming her for everything . She thought it was about time Jen woke up and started to admit her wrong doings ..
Now being as good a time as any Tilly got out of her car storming over to where she first found Jen ..
As she approached Jen ..,she was in the middle of takin some pictures of the winner of the competition ..
You know it took a lot for me to come here ..
Jen was shocked to see Tilly again so soon .. Tilly I'm working ..
May I ? Tilly asked Todd who was standing close by holding up a light umbrella ..
Todd looked at Jen then shrugged handing it to Tilly ..
There you go .. I'm not stopping you from working ..
Jen continued to take pictures ..
You really want to do this now ?
Yeah " Tilly nodded "why not ..
You know from the first time out paths cross you have done nothing but put me down .. You constantly have something nasty to say to me ..and I'm sick of it..
Tilly .. Jen gasped slightly embarrassed as people look on ..
I don't care Jen .. Your so quick to berate me .. Every single time ..
Ok. That's a wrap .. Thank you " Jen calls out finishing off the shoot ..
Todd can you " she nodded handing him the camera before grabbing Tilly's arm .. Taking her away from the crowd..
What are you trying to do to me? She moans . This is my job ..
So what ! Tilly snapped .. I have to say this ..I'm sick of the way you treat me ..
So what I popped back up in your life ..
So what I'm dating your friend
So what you have to see me a few times a week ..
So what Jen .. It's the same for me .
I have to go through the same as you .. How do you think this effects me ! Tilly asks..
Not that you care " she added..
Hold on .. I didn't put myself in this situation .. You did .. You Tilly .. You came in to my life .. Jen ranted ..
And now you come here while I'm working and embarrass me ..
Because you don't listen Jen .. As soon as you see me this attitude oozes out of you .. Every word that comes out of your mouth is spiteful .Tilly tells her ..
Jen closed her eyes for a second .. What do you want me to do .. ? She asks ..
Tilly sighed .. Honestly ? You know what I really want you to do Jen ..?
I want you to admit you were wrong as well .. I want you to admit that you were to blame as much as I was
I want you to tell me that you don't feel it was all me .. That you played a big part in how things ended between us '
Jen swallowed the heavy lump in her throat ..
I'm very aware what role I played Tilly .. Very aware .. She said tearing up ..
Well then tell me Jen? Tilly begged .. Because from your behaviour it's as if I ruined your life ..
You did .. Jen cried out .. I lost everything .. I was arrested ..
Tilly laughed under her breath .. Oooh And it's still about poor Jen isn't it?
Where does this self pity end?
Did you ever think about me? Tilly asked .. Ever wonder how all this effected me.. ?
Yeah you were so devastated you jumped into bed with Esther "Jen snapped .. Stopping quickly
Is that what you think ? Tilly said swallowing her tears .. You couldn't fe more wrong .. I had to put on a brave face .. Pretend I didn't care ..
When in reality I was a mess.. My heart was broken.. I was devastated .. I cried for months over you ..
If I wanted to ruin your life I would of made a statement to the police wouldn't have I ?
Well? Wouldn't have i Jen ? Tilly shouted demanding Jen answer ..
Jen scratched the back of her head.. Her heart aching at the thought of Tilly being so sad.. But Tilly was right .. Something inside her just wouldn't let her guard down .. No matter how hard she tried the hateful words just poured out ..
Yeah well maybe you should have ..she spat.. At least then I wouldn't have to endure all this..
You don't mean that? Tilly said shocked at Jens coldness ..
Jen looked out across the lake where they were stood .. Her silence says she didn't ..
Jen .. I can see that this is never going to be resolved and I .. Tilly licked her dry lips ..
I really haven't got it on me to keep feeling like this .. So I'm going to ask you something .. And I want you to be honest ..you don't even have to answer me .. Just a head movement will do ..
Jen looked at Tilly confused
Taking a deep breath afraid of Jens reaction Tilly asked the question she had been dying to know..
Did you ever really love me ?
Jens eyes widened and her jaw hit the floor .. Her breathing became slightly heavy ..
Does it matter? Now ? I mean after everything .. She whispered
It does to me yeah" Tilly answered ..
Why? Jen moaned
Because I need to know Jen ! I have to know .. You at least owe me that ..
Jen wasn't sure she wanted to answer .. She was unsure she was strong enough to face up to such honestly..
Tilly .. " she whispered shaking her head " please ..
Todd approached " sorry to interpreted but well .. I've packed the car away ... Boss man rang he wants the footage..
Jen nodded ..
Can't you take it in? Tilly asked.
Uh .. Well.. Todd wasn't sure what to say ..
No he can't.. I'm coming Todd..
Tilly rolled her eyes" this is typical of you... Always running away ..
Jen knew Tilly was right .. She did run but only from her own feelings..
She could see in Tilly's eyes she was desperate ..
I'll meet you back at tho office" she muttered to Todd keeping her eyes on Tilly ..
Todd left then alone ...
Well? Tilly asked
Tilly the past is just that .. Why do you insist in raking it up again?
Because it was resolved " was Tilly's answer .. The day you left Diane's wasn't the end .. Not for me ..
Your happy now aren't you? Jen snapped .. Sophie makes you happy ..
You not answering me " it's not about me and Sophie .. Or you and jessie.. It's about me and you ..
And it's ok for you to say it's the past but your still punishing me over it ..
So I'll ask you again.. Taking a deep breath Tilly walked closer to Jen ..
Was it real? Did you ever really love me ..
Jen knew it was game over .. She was tired of fighting her own thoughts and feelings .. Keeping them lock inside her was becoming physically painful ..
Yes" she whispered just loud enough for Tilly to hear ..
Yes what?
Yes Tilly .. Ok yes " Jen shouted " yes it was real... Yes I really did love you .. I loved you so much I couldn't bare it .. I couldn't stand my weakness .. I lost everything I worked so hard for because I loved you so damn much ..
There you go .. Is that what you want to hear .. She gasped out of breath tears filling her beautiful brown eyes ..
Her face turning to stone ... And I hate myself for it ..
I hate that I was stupid to think we could of worked .. I hate myself for what I did to you .. I hate myself for Esther's overdose .. I hate myself that my needs over ruled hers..
I knew she was unstable but I left her anyway.
I hate that for months I couldn't get that look of hurt and sadness you had on your face when the police took me away .. Out of my head..
Tilly was floored at Jens honesty .. Herself now fighting back her tears ..
Jen" she muttered grabbing her arm..
Jen pulled away.. But you know what I hate the most?
She composed herself .. Her demeanor turning cold ..
I hate that your back in my life reminding me of it all..
So there you go Tilly .. You wanted to hear it .. There it is ..
Now leave me alone .. She added as she walked away .. Her pace turning into a jog ..
Tilly watched her leave . Her tears winning the battle and slowly ran down her face ..
The rest of Jens day didn't make any sense .. She was editing her photos in a daze ..
Jen .. Jen " Todd called out .." You've already done that ..
Jen looked down .. She had been editing the same photo for the last 10 minutes ..
Oh sorry " she muttered
You ok? Todd asked.
Jen nodded she was slightly embarrassed he had witness part of her fight with Tilly ..
Wanna talk about it ? He smiled ..
God no" Jen sighed .. But thanks
I'm sure your be ok " Todd smiled .. I mean I can see how madly in love you two are .. Couples argue don't they ? Dad always said ...
What!? No we're not... Jen interpreted .. Tilly she's not my girlfriend ..
Jen never spoke about her personal life at work nor did she ever mix the two up so Todd wouldn't have known Tilly was Jens partner ..
Oh? Todd gaped .. Wow .. I uh.. I uh
What? Jen said shaking her head ..
Well I just thought . I mean the way you were " ... Todd said confused also feeling a little embarrassed for assuming ..
You know what? It's none of my business ..
No Todd, .. What do you mean the way we were ? Jen asked..
Todd shrugged" I dunno .. I just assumed you two were a couple in an argument .. I mean the electricity between you two ..
Jen slumped down in her chair " Tilly's my ex.. She explained
Ouch .. Todd teased ... That's some serious unfinished business ..
Jen was worried .. If a complete stranger could see so much it was only matter of time before jessie or Sophie would ..
Sighing heavily " let's call it a day .. I'm in need of a very large glass of wine..
