In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die through being stoned to death…which interestingly enough is still being used today in some countries in the world…perhaps it's fortunate that we're currently using lethal injection…
Anyways, let's watch Jar Jar Binks feel the rock and die once again so we can get this chapter over with.
Chapter 55: Stoned To Death
Once again, our heroes decided to surf through various execution methods…there was quite an impressive bunch, meaning that they had quite of a lot of trouble deciding on just one.
"So many choices…" thought Anakin Skywalker as he continued reading his antithesis of the Book of Resurrection.
Suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi noticed one that seemed easy enough for disposing of Jar Jar…simply picking up some rocks and start throwing them at the worthless pest.
"Perhaps we could kill him this way?" he stated as he pointed his finger at one of the pages. "It seems simple enough to do."
Our heroes nonchalantly agreed at this.
"Alright, let's go get some rope and tie up Jar Jar so that he won't be a moving target. Wouldn't want to stone ourselves instead, wouldn't we?" agreed Padme Amidala.
Suddenly, our heroes realized they had a problem with doing so…not only had they run out of rope yesterday (they didn't have an infinite amount, contrary to what you may believe), but the store where they purchased their killing supplies was currently closed!
"What do we do?" asked Anakin Skywalker.
"Perhaps we should try to restrain Jar Jar Binks another way…" C-3PO suggested.
R2-D2 started beeping. Apparently, he had an idea.
"What's that? You say we should use a shovel?" inquired C-3PO.
And so our heroes went to get the shovel, which curiously was right next to them.
"I wonder how that got there?" thought Padme Amidala.
"Alright, let's do this." ordered Qui-Gon Jinn, picking up the gardening tool and holding it right next to his head.
Our heroes went to look for Jar Jar Binks, who as it turns out was currently playing outside chasing random butterflies.
"Yay! Mesa having fun!" squealed the Gungan as he ran around the yard like an idiot.
"Hey Jar Jar? Want to have some more fun?" asked Qui-Gon Jinn, right before knocking him out with the shovel.
A few minutes later, our heroes had completely buried Jar Jar underground, minus his hideous head due to the fact that they already buried him alive previously.
"Maybe we should try to bury him in an anthill next time and then cover his head with honey." suggested Padme Amidala.
"We'll do that some other time I suppose. For now, let's just go get the biggest stones that we can find." agreed Anakin Skywalker.
After collecting the stones, our heroes then woke up Jar Jar Binks so that all his pain receptors would be active; causing him to wonder what was going on.
"Let mesa out of dis smelly dirt!" screeched the alien, who futilely tried to free himself from his predicament. But once again, he failed.
Our heroes then proceeded to toss as many stones as they could find at the hapless Gungan. Eventually, one of them hit him hard enough that it shattered his skull, causing bone shards to pierce his miniscule brain. Unsurprisingly, this was quite lethal.
Of course, blood loss also played a part in Jar Jar's death, but that doesn't sound as gruesome, does it?
"Looks like we got him." pointed out Obi-Wan Kenobi as he investigated Jar Jar Binks' corpse.
Afterwards, our heroes unburied Jar Jar, pulled out the resurrection book, and proceeded to bring their chronic victim back from the dead. Suffice to say this would allow them to kill him again…but of course you should already know that.
Suddenly, our heroes got the idea of using yet another classic execution method on Jar Jar…
Can you guess which one this is going to be? It's not going to be hanging…I can tell you that. After all, we already tried that, didn't we?
It's not going to be the electric chair either…considering that's a more modern one…
Now that I've eliminated those possibilities…can you guess what it's going to be now?
C'mon, take a good guess! Use your head!
