Halloween 2006 – The Gibbs Residence
Tony's musing over his past Halloween and all that had gone with it meant that he had not heard his father re-enter the bedroom with the first aid kit and a damp cloth in order to clean up the cuts and treat the bruises.
"You ok Son?" asked Gibbs taking hold of Tony's head and looking into his eyes for signs of any concussion.
"I'm sorry Dad," answered Tony, "I know I'm in trouble can we just skip to the consequences part and I'll get home and out of your hair."
"You know it's never worked like that Tony," said Gibbs starting to dab at the cuts on the forehead, "what makes you think it's gonna be any different now?"
"Guess I was just hoping," answered Tony lowering his head, "I know I screwed up big time, is McGee alright?"
"I'm sure he will be," said Gibbs, "I rang Ducky and asked him to check in on him."
"So I guess you want to know why I lost it and hit him?" said Tony.
"Well that would be a start," said Gibbs, turning Tony's' head to get to the next cut.
"Maybe I'm just tired and wasn't in the mood for the ribbing?" ventured Tony, "guess I shouldn't give it unless I can take it hey?" he answered trying to laugh and wincing as his Dad dabbed some antiseptic onto one of the cuts.
"Since when do I allow you to lie to me Tony?" asked Gibbs holding his sons gaze with an icy cold stare.
"Never Sir," replied Tony.
"So drop the mask, cut the crap and let's start again hey?" said Gibbs. "I need the truth Tony, I can't help you without knowing what's going on."
"Dad I can sort it myself, I'll apologise to McGee and if you need to transfer me to another team, suspend me or fire me I guess I have it coming," responded Tony.
"You think I'm going to let you run away from this?" asked Gibbs.
"Well I know you will have to punish me in someway for attacking McGee at work, I was his superior officer, he was my Probie and I launched at him, busted his nose, tore that stupid costume of his up, there's no way of dressing that up really, it was wrong, it was unprofessional and I know I've got to be dealt with. I bet McGee is telling the director about it as we speak."
"No he's not," said Gibbs. "I sent them all home, I'll sort all of them out tomorrow morning at 0630, I'm pretty pissed at all of you, but I know the blame is not all on you so start talking."
Sighing heavily but knowing that the quickest way out of this was to cut to the chase and tell the truth Tony spoke, "I made a mistake, I trusted Probie with some info about that Halloween in Pendleton, didn't mean to tell him as much as I did, he misunderstood bits of it and when Ziva was plaguing me for info on why I hate Halloween, Tim told her all of my secrets, they started laughing at me."
"You told McGee about Pendleton?" asked Gibbs surprised.
"Not all of it no, I mentioned the suit and the outfit, I mean I know it ruined your ski suit but it was a good costume and I was reminiscing, guess I got a bit carried away, mentioned I'd ruined the suit and then started babbling about not being able to sit down until Christmas and some other stuff. McGee put them all together and thinks I got my ass whipped for ruining your suit and that this was the cause of my discomfort. He didn't know how painful the memory is, please don't punish him, he's my Probie and this is on me Dad," he pleaded.
"So what led to you punching him out?" asked Gibbs.
"Ziva wouldn't quit bugging me, couldn't get away from her, she just kept on and on," said Tony, "I went back in the office hoping to get away from her but Abby and Tim were there and dressed up for the party. They asked me yet again if I wanted to go, they ask all the time and think I'm just being boring. Ziva interrupted me and said I was sulking, which I guess I was a bit, I got a bit annoyed, Tim jumped on the taunting bandwagon and used the info I gave him against me and I just flew at him, you know the rest."
"Sure I know what happened next but what I really need to know Tony is why after all of these years does it still get to you like this, you know you never really did tell Mom or me who did it and perhaps that reason you didn't tell us is part of what's holding you back from being able to move on from this a bit further. Maybe it's part of why you reacted like you did."
"I worked it out my way at the time," whispered Tony, "I couldn't tell you."
"And is there anything stopping you telling me the truth now?" asked Gibbs.
"I… I don't know, it's just that, well, I sorted the immediate problem my own way and then we moved away, and after a while I just tried to put the whole thing out of my mind," Tony tried to explain.
"Look Tony, I know you went through hell, and the way you handled it at the time made me proud Son," said Gibbs, "but you never did tell us who did it although we all suspected we knew we couldn't do anything to help you. Can't you just tell me what the reason is as to why you couldn't tell me?"
"Dad, I'm sorry," tears started to form in Tony's eyes.
Gibbs could see the pain in them and moved to sit on the bed next to Tony, holding him in to his side, pulling his head down onto his shoulder and kissing the top of his head. "Please son let me know, I can't stand to see this hurting you still."
"They threatened her Dad," sobbed Tony.
"Threatened who?" asked Gibbs confused.
"They threatened to do the same to Kelly as they had done to me and I couldn't risk that," sobbed Tony.
"Oh Tony," Gibbs could feel tears forming in his own eyes, "I'm sorry Son, I'm so sorry." Gibbs held him tight and let him cry. "You've carried this all of those years?"
Tony nodded against his shoulder, "she was my little sister, I wasn't going to risk them hurting her like they did to me."
"I wish you'd told me," said Gibbs, "I hear what you're saying but you shouldn't have struggled with that one alone."
"I made sure they left her alone Dad, they left me alone too," said Tony trying to pull himself together. "I mean we left there at the end of the school year."
"But Tony even if you had not wanted to talk to the police you shouldn't have carried that burden alone, your mom and I we would have helped you," said Gibbs.
"It wasn't that simple Dad," sniffed Tony, "I knew the pain of that beating, hell I'd been through that sort of thing for a long time before I came to live with you, to think that Kelly would have suffered even one day of that, I couldn't bear that thought, I'd have died rather than let her go through that."
Tears began to fall again from both men now who sat holding each other quietly and remembering their loss.
Gibbs broke the silence first, "when we moved away why didn't you tell me then?"
"Because whilst I had dealt with one of the threats I didn't know where the other one was and had no way of solving that one," answered Tony, "and over the years coping with it became a little easier and then we lost mom and Kelly and the threat no longer existed and I didn't want to add more to your burden and I only wanted to remember the good times."
"Are you able to tell me now who did it to you?" asked Gibbs.
Still Tony hesitated. "I think you know who it was."
"Perhaps, but I need you to tell me for sure," said Gibbs.
"One was Dean Gracie," mumbled Tony, "but don't do anything, the guy moved on, got better, started a scrap metal business with his older brother and is now married with kids"
"How do you know all this?" asked Gibbs.
"I still keep in touch with Maisie and the guys, "they let me know stuff, seems like you already knew some of that too."
"What do you mean by that?" asked Gibbs.
"Well perhaps you should tell me why you never let me know about going around and helping Dean and his brother," said Tony accusingly.
"I guess I always suspected he was in it, couldn't prove it, went round there to deliver my own form of punishment and came out thinking that if I helped the guy there was a better chance of protecting you than if I spanked him again," said Gibbs.
"You spanked him?" asked Tony astonished. "Mom would have killed you."
"She nearly did when I told her," sighed Gibbs, "we had a real argument and she wouldn't let me sleep in the same room as her that night, but we got through it and she could see what I was doing and I knew why she got so angry at me."
"And you never told me?" asked Tony getting quite irate himself, "you took a gamble like that and you never bothered to tell me, and then you go off on one about me not telling you who had done it to me, you hypocritical son of a b.."
"Tony that's enough," shouted Gibbs, "hypocritical I might have been but you are still my son and I won't let you speak to me in that way whether you agree with what I did or not. It was done out of love for you. It was done with your best interests at heart. I was your father and I didn't know how else to protect you."
"And what would you have done if I had actually given you the names of the pair of them?" asked Tony, "I'm assuming the spanking would have been replaced with a firing squad in the Court of Gibbs?"
"I said that's enough," said Gibbs, "I won't have you speaking to me like that, I could still deliver a spanking to you, you're not too old you know."
"You wouldn't dare," shouted Tony.
"Don't push me Tony," warned Gibbs, "now calm down and talk to me civilly like an adult and lets start again."
Tony sat there for a moment taking it all in. He'd not been taken to task by his father for years and years, although he probably deserved it from time to time and deep down Tony knew that what Gibbs had done was out of love and a need to do something to protect his family. He also knew that Gibbs didn't make idle threats and the thought of his father punishing him in that way now still concerned him. Past arguments about being too old for that kind of discipline had never ended up with Tony as the winner in all of it.
"I'm sorry Sir," he muttered, "can we start again?"
"Accepted. So what made you reminisce with McGee?" asked Gibbs continuing.
"It was really just meant to be about the costumes," stated Tony, "I thought I trusted him, see him a bit like a little brother and when I started on with the costume it was if my mind was wandering about the rest of the history that went with it, I rambled on, thought I'd covered it well enough, never thought he'd tell the others, it's my fault really, I should have been more careful about my past history, about our relationship and all that, it's just sometimes it's difficult the others not knowing."
"Do you want them to know?" asked Gibbs.
"I don't know," answered Tony despair in his voice, "like I'd love to be able to say that I'd spent the weekend with my dad building his boat rather than keeping up the frat boy façade and letting them think I have a dozen girls on the go at anytime who occupy my free time, and when McGee goes all superior on us with his education, I'd like to point out he is not the only one who can get some of those answers, I mean don't get me wrong the kid is good at it but I'm not dumb either."
Standing up from the bed and pacing around a little Tony sighed and continued, "guess I've been playing the role so long that I sometimes forget all of who I am."
"Then let's tell them," said Gibbs.
"What if it ruins the team dynamic?" asked Tony, "What if they think I only got the job 'cos you are my Dad?"
"Tony you under estimate yourself," said Gibbs, "they'd follow you anywhere."
"Not so sure about that," sighed Tony, "they don't respect me like they do you."
"Then make them," said Gibbs, "show them the man you really are, the one I know and am so proud of."
"I'm not sure if I know how to," sighed Tony shaking his head and losing confidence in himself.
"Wait here," said Gibbs getting up and leaving the room, "why don't you get changed into something more comfortable, I'll be a few minutes."
Tony changed out of the suit and into a pair of old university jogging pants and a marine corps t-shirt, one of the many he had pinched from his Dad over the years.
When his Dad returned he carried with him a piece of folded paper and put in down on Tony's old desk.
"I want you to read that in a minute and then come down and eat, I'm going to order Chinese, then we can discuss how we get the team to respect you," said Gibbs.
"You still want me on the team then?" asked Tony, "you're not sending me elsewhere or suspending me?"
"We'll talk about suitable punishments later," said Gibbs, "for now read that paper."
With that he got up and left the room. Tony picked up the folded sheet and started to read.
"My Inspiration: by Lewis James."
