A/N: Hi everyone. Thank you again for continuing to read the story, and for the reviews you have kindly written, I am extremely grateful for each and every one.
This chapter was particularly difficult to write, and I actually struggled more with writing Aunt P's reaction than Jack's (which is saying something, believe me!). I tried to write it as I think she would respond given the circumstances, but if there are any issues please let me know, as it really was a challenge.
Many of you suggested that I bring back the character of Sheila to ensure the health and wellbeing of Phryne and the baby; I had been intending on bringing Sheila back (she will have a very important role later on), but not quite so soon. But seeing as so many people seem to want to see her again, I have amended my plan slightly so that she will be appearing in a few chapters' time, which will be quite dramatic and angsty.
As always, if you have any constructive criticism, advice or comments I would be very grateful to hear them.
I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend!
Love,
HQ21
After a rather lengthy but thankfully productive meeting with the hospital board that afternoon, Mrs Prudence Stanley had instructed her driver to take her to her niece's home, where she decided that she would wait for her until she returned, as was often her custom. The dear girl had a habit of getting herself into all kinds of interesting predicaments and, due to the nature of her work, could be difficult to get hold of, much to her frustration. Mrs Stanley had been troubled to read about her niece's most recent escapades in the morning paper, which had involved her entering a building of ill-repute which was ablaze. Although Phryne's cavalier attitude towards her own safety (and towards propriety and morality) were well known, this latest event shocked and frightened her aunt, who had immediately laid down the paper and put a telephone call to her niece's home. After having been met with her maid both times she attempted to call, each time being assured that she was 'quite alright' and was out with her inspector, Mrs Stanley's required presence at the Hospital Committee Board Meeting forced to abandon her attempts to contact her. For a while, at least.
As soon as Mrs Stanley's driver pulled up outside Phryne's home on the Esplanade, her aunt noted with relief that her motor car was parked before the house, meaning that she had finally returned. She felt relieved and gratified by the result, and smiled gently to herself as her driver opened the door for her and conducted her onto the pavement. Prudence Stanley walked confidently along the pavement and up the garden path towards her niece's home, where her formal knock brought Mr Butler to the front door, which he opened within moments, smiling politely at Mrs Stanley.
"Good afternoon, Mrs Stanley" he said pleasantly, followed by a small bow of the head. Mrs Stanley clasped her hands before her and nodded in response.
"Good afternoon, Mr Butler" she returned, stepping forward as her niece's servant stood aside and permitted her entry to the house. "From the presence of her car I take it that my niece has returned?" she enquired, as Mr Butler closed the door behind her.
"Yes, Mrs Stanley. She and the inspector returned a short while ago" he confirmed, "they are currently in the garden" he stated. Mrs Stanley nodded once in understanding. "Please, allow me to-"
"Thank you, Mr Butler, that's quite alright" she returned confidently, as she began to walk across the hallway and towards the dining room. "I know the way."
Before Mr Butler had a chance to respond, Mrs Stanley had walked ahead of him, and made her way quickly through the dining room and kitchen and towards the back of the house. Mr Butler reached the kitchen mere moments after Mrs Stanley did, just in time to see her take a few steps into the garden. He sighed gently and walked towards the kitchen table, where he continued to make the necessary dinner preparations, thus remaining completely oblivious to the events unfolding outside.
Mrs Stanley walked out of the kitchen door and took several steps into the garden, her eyes quickly befalling the figures of her niece and her inspector, who were engaged in a most indecently public display of affection. Mrs Stanley considered the scene with distaste for a moment, before stepping forward slightly and preparing herself to call out to her niece, before her eyes caught a glimpse of something which caused her to freeze on the spot. As Mrs Stanley took a few steps closer to her niece and the inspector, who were about twelve to fifteen feet from where she stood, she became increasingly aware of the strange position of their hands, which seemed to be placed upon Phryne's abdomen. Mrs Stanley frowned in confusion and took a step closer, her keen eyes focused intently upon Jack Robinson's right hand, which was placed over Phryne's abdomen, beneath her own. As she considered this closer, she noticed that Phryne's light-pink blouse rose slightly, revealing a small yet distinct swell to the base of her abdomen, a tell-tale sign of something Mrs Stanley never dreamed she would see in relation to her niece. Her eyes drifted over her niece's abdomen, which the loose material of her blouse clung to during her embrace with the inspector, highlighting the very noticeable swell of her stomach. Mrs Stanley froze on the spot, her eyes widening and her lips slightly parting, as she stared incredulously at the scene before her, which now seemed so very, very clear. She stared in disbelief at the sight before her, unable to quite comprehend it, let alone believe it. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, and would have certainly remained there a great deal longer, had Phryne not broken the kiss and slowly opened her eyes and looked directly at her, her calm expression changing instantly and mirroring her aunt's.
Phryne felt warm and relaxed as her eyes slowly drifted open as she broke the kiss, her previous anxieties quelled somewhat by Jack's presence and reassurance, as they always were. However, this calm and tranquil state was dispelled almost immediately, as she caught a flutter of dark blue clothing out of the corner of her eye, which attracted her attention towards a spot on the other side of the garden almost directly opposite her, where her aunt stood, staring at her in shock. As soon as Phryne met her gaze, she felt herself feeling suddenly flushed and instantly panicked, as a wave of realisation swept over her so strongly as to dispel any doubts over what she knew to be true: her aunt knew that she was pregnant.
Jack, who had sensed Phryne's tension and noticed the quick change in her demeanour, looked upon her with confusion and concern as she slowly drew her hand down his chest and stepped past him, taking a few steps forwards back towards the house. Jack turned on the spot and found himself standing almost directly opposite Prudence Stanley, whose eyes were wide as she stared at her niece with disbelief, her expression one of confusion and incredulity, as her attentions were fixed firmly upon her abdomen. Jack took a few steps towards Phryne, stopping just behind her, as Mrs Stanley's eyes drifted up and met her niece's gaze. Phryne felt as though her heart had stopped.
"Aunt Prudence" Phryne said gently, her tone laced with surprise and confusion, as she attempted to quash the overwhelming feeling of panic that was rising within her. "I thought you were at a committee meeting at the hospital" she said slowly, her eyes meeting her aunt's, whose expression made her feel immediately consumed by guilt. Jack, sensing his wife's anxiety, took a step towards her so that he was standing right beside her.
Mrs Stanley stared at Phryne for a few moments, her eyes wide and unblinking, her expression confused yet serious. Her gaze drifted slowly from Phryne's abdomen to her face, and Phryne felt herself feeling dizzy with fear as their eyes met. When she did respond after what felt like an eternity, Phryne found herself feeling almost surprised to hear her voice.
"I was" Mrs Stanley replied, her voice low and slightly hoarse, as she attempted to maintain eye contact with her niece, who had suddenly turned quite pale. "The meeting finished half an hour ago and I came here directly" she explained, her voice low and formal, a haunting edge to her tone. "I read about you running into the fire at that infernal bordello, and I wanted to make sure that you are alright" she explained, her eyes drifting from her niece's face and back towards her abdomen, which she stared at intently, worry present in her eyes. Phryne felt very uncomfortable, and resisted the urge to draw her jacket across her.
"I am" she replied gently, prompting her aunt to look up at her. "I'm fine" she assured her, nodding slightly as she spoke. Phryne inhaled deeply in an attempt to quell her rising anxiety, which was assisted significantly by Jack, who placed his right hand reassuringly on her lower back, which imbued her with strength. She released a deep breath and stared into the eyes of her aunt, which were wide and attentive, and staring at her accusingly.
"I'm afraid I can't agree" Mrs Stanley said in a low voice, her eyes drifting back down to her niece's abdomen, before slowing rising and meeting her own. "You're with child" she said simply, her voice low and haunted, almost an echo, as she stared at her niece with a shocked expression upon her face. Phryne inhaled sharply and looked at her aunt with a faux-confident expression.
"Yes" she replied, her voice not quite as composed and assured as she had hoped it would be. She felt Jack's hand drift comfortingly across her back. "Yes, Aunt P. I'm pregnant" she added. Mrs Stanley nodded once and returned her attention to her stomach.
"So I see" she replied quietly, clasping her hands before her and meeting her niece's eyes once more, with an expression Phryne could not quite define; it was somewhere between disbelief and bewilderment. And it frightened her. Jack, who was watching the scene before him unfold with interest, decided that it was best he remained quiet during the initial discussion between his wife and her aunt.
"We were going to tell you tomorrow evening" Phryne explained gently, desperately hoping to placate her aunt, who seemed to be in shock, possibly even angry. "It's why we invited you for dinner" she added. Mrs Stanley stared at her for a moment. There was a brief silence that fell between them which Phryne found to be unbearable. She had expected her aunt's initial reaction to be one of shock and disbelief, and had mentally prepared herself for some scolding, but standing before and discussing her pregnancy directly was more terrifying than she had ever anticipated. Before she dared to break the silence, her aunt finally spoke.
"How did this happen?" Mrs Stanley asked, her voice rising slightly as she stared at her niece in confusion and disbelief, glancing from Phryne to Jack and then back to her niece.
"You had two children, Aunt P" Phryne returned gently, attempting to ease some of the discomfort of the current setting. "I'm sure you're familiar with-"
"Don't be so flippant, girl! This is a very serious matter" Mrs Stanley interrupted, her voice rising once more, as she stared at her with disbelief.
Phryne, whose natural response to her aunt's scolding had been an attempt to introduce light humour to calm the situation, instantly regretting her actions, mentally condemning herself for them. She felt suddenly very hot, and the panic she had been attempting to keep at bay rose within her once more.
"We're aware of that Aunt P" Phryne replied, her voice adopting a more sombre tone. "And I can assure you, Jack and I have been treating it very seriously" she added. Prudence Stanley continued to stare at Phryne with a look she did not recognise, but which unsettled her deeply. She swallowed hard and inhaled sharply, as her aunt stared into her eyes with a deep, penetrating gaze. Phryne was prevented from continuing to speak by her aunt, who turned her attentions towards Jack and glared at him with a look of disapproval and disbelief.
"How could you allow this to happen?" Mrs Stanley demanded of him, as he looked upon her with a calm expression. "My niece's actions have always been hasty and unpredictable, but I never thought you to be a man who would act so recklessly" she scorned.
"Aunt P!" Phryne exclaimed aghast, interceding before Jack could respond, as she took a step closer to her aunt. "Jack and I are both responsible for my pregnancy and we are both taking responsibility" she explained, adopting a calmer tone as she spoke. "This isn't a mistake that needs to be fixed or a disaster to be averted" she stated. "It's a child" she added, staring into her aunt's eyes. "It's our child" she added gently. Mrs Stanley's expression softened for a moment, before becoming clouded with concern and disbelief once more. Jack, who noticed his wife's agitation and her aunt's ire, sought to calm what he feared would quickly turn into a heated situation.
"Why don't we all go into the parlour and discuss this?" Jack suggested calmly, his eyes drifting from his wife to her aunt, who was staring intently at Phryne.
"How long have you known?" Mrs Stanley asked, completely ignoring Jack as she spoke. Phryne, who was feeling increasingly anxious, inhaled sharply.
"A couple of months" she admitted, watching as her aunt's eyes widened.
"And who else is aware of your condition?" Mrs Stanley asked, shocked that she had not disclosed this to her sooner. Phryne felt her stomach tighten.
"Mac was the first person to know, she's the one who discovered my pregnancy" Phryne began, her voice low and gentle, in an attempt to placate her aunt, who appeared to be in shock. "Mr Butler and Dot found out shortly afterwards, as did Jane, and we told Hugh, Cec and Bert the night before last" she explained. "I wanted to tell you after dinner tomorrow night" she added, finding her anxiety increasing as her aunt stared at her.
"So I'm the last person to be told" she said simply, sighing sharply. Before Phryne could respond, she continued to speak. "Does your mother know?" she asked accusingly.
"No" Phryne replied gently. "I'm going to tell mother when she returns to London" she stated. "And you aren't the last person to know, Aunt P. I wanted to tell you earlier but I-"
"How far along are you?" Aunt Prudence interjected, her voice adopting an interrogative tone. Even though she had seen the evidence with her own eyes, and her niece had confirmed it, she found herself not quite able to believe it. Phryne inhaled sharply and met her gaze, finding herself feeling hot and rather panicked once more.
"Sixteen weeks" she replied gently, as she tried to prepare herself for what she knew was to come.
"Four months?" Mrs Stanley asked, confusion present in her tone, as her eyes drifted down towards Phryne's abdomen once more; a frequent action which was making her feeling increasingly uncomfortable. "Is that why you got married?" she asked suddenly, her eyes meeting those of her niece, who appeared perfectly composed.
"No" Phryne replied confidently, having already anticipated the question. "Jack and I married because we wanted to be together" she stated with conviction.
"And your condition had nothing to do with that decision?" her aunt asked sceptically. Phryne found herself feeling affronted. She found herself feeling frustrated by her aunt's references to her baby as a 'condition'.
"Of course it did" she replied candidly. "But we married for all of us, not just the baby" she explained. Mrs Stanley sighed and shook her head.
"You realise that people will talk, don't you?" she asked, her voice rising slightly. "As soon as your condition is made public people will speculate as to the convenient timing of your wedding."
"People will always discuss things which are none of their concern, and what they say is none of mine" Phryne said calmly. "Let them talk." Mrs Stanley's eyes widened, and she unclasped her hands as she stared at her niece in disbelief. She clearly did not have a full grasp of the situation.
"Your reputation may not mean much to you, my girl, but-"
"My reputation has been the subject of significant discussion since I returned to Australia, with people commenting on my work, my habits and my associates" Phryne replied calmly, having already anticipated her aunt's fears of a scandal. "Out of everything I've done, I think getting married and having a child will be one of the least interesting things people will read about me" she said gently. Phryne detected the concern beneath the frustration in her aunt's expression and sought to reassure her. "Various publications have speculated over my relationship with Jack over the years, even when we just worked together" she explained. "People are aware of our closeness, it's not something which has come on suddenly or is unexpected" she added. "The Globe informed its readers that Jack proposed to me in December, and so people will believe we got engaged around the beginning of my pregnancy, before we could possibly even about it" she stated, watching as her aunt listened to her intently, and watched her with an unreadable expression. "And even if they don't believe that, which they will, because it was put in print and is therefore irrefutably true" she added, with a degree of mild annoyance, "there is absolutely no shame or scandal associated with a married woman having her husband's child" she said gently.
Mrs Stanley stared at Phryne for several moments, her calmness and composure marred by the sternness of her expression. She inhaled deeply and tilted her head back slightly, as she met the nervous and expectant eyes of her niece.
"Be that as it may, the matter will still be discussed-"
"My baby is not a 'matter'" Phryne replied defensively, hurt and unease imbued in her tone, as her aunt's formal and almost detached manner of discussing her pregnancy continued to frustrate her.
Jack stared at Phryne for a moment, her impassioned response to her aunt's remark causing him to feel a combination of both pride and relief, which superseded his concerns for Phryne during this exchange for a moment. Mrs Stanley's aunt's eyes widened slightly and for a moment Phryne thought she detected a flicker of remorse upon her features.
"No, of course not" Mrs Stanley responded civilly, before inhaling deeply and staring at her niece with a firm and imploring gaze. "Phryne, I don't think you understand the implications of what you're doing" she said accusingly, in a low, quiet voice. Phryne, feeling affronted, inhaled sharply and met her aunt's gaze.
"I can assure you that I do" Phryne stated with conviction. "Over the past couple of months I have thought of little else" she added, her voice laced with emotion. "I didn't expect you to be overjoyed at the news, Aunt Prudence" Phryne said gently, "but I also didn't believe that you'd be so averse to it" she added, worry present in her tone. "You've been trying to entice me to marry and settle down ever since I returned to Australia-"
"But that's precisely the point, Phryne" Mrs Stanley returned, somewhat formally. "You haven't settled down, you won't settle down. You made it perfectly clear that it wasn't your intention to do so" she added, considering her niece for a moment before sighing lightly. "I know you are very modern and you have interests and habits outside of what is expected of young ladies of your station, and despite my concerns about your work and your associates and your behaviour, I have accepted that" she stated with conviction. "You may have found a way to accommodate a husband in your unconventional lifestyle, my girl, but a child is quite different" she added resolutely.
"I know" Phryne replied gently, her voice sounding slightly choked, which caused Aunt P's eyes to soften slightly, before she adopted a resolute expression. "Aunt Prudence-"
"I don't believe that you do" she returned confidently, with a brief shake of the head. "Marrying your inspector didn't alter your life" she stated, her gaze drifting from Phryne to Jack and then back to her niece. "You've both been very close for years, you work in the same profession and you face the same dangers" she explained, as Phryne and Jack both watched her with interest. "You are suited to each other, you've always been suited to each other" she admitted calmly. "You fit perfectly into each other's lives" she continued. "But a child will not."
Phryne stared into her aunt's eyes as she spoke, feeling panic and fear rising within her as she processed her words. She was wrong. She had to be wrong. Didn't she? Phryne was stunned by her aunt's words, which caused her to feel a sudden wave of terror, as the doubts which had been playing upon her mind returned to her with full force. She was so overcome by her anxiety that she was unable to respond to her aunt's remark.
"You always said it was never your intention to have children" Mrs Stanley remarked, her voice drawing Phryne from her thoughts.
"I also said I'd never marry" Phryne responded calmly, her eyes meeting her aunt's and staring at her with conviction. "This might have been unexpected, Aunt P, but I want this child, we both do. And we're going to take care of it" she explained. Her aunt stared at her for a moment before exhaling slowly.
"It's not that simple, Phryne" Mrs Stanley explained.
"I know it's not simple. None of this has been simple" Phryne explained gently, attempting to fight back the rising emotion she was experiencing. "But Jack and I are as committed to this baby as we are to each other, and we will make this work" she stated, her expression resolute and her tone confident, despite the slight tremor in her voice.
Mrs Stanley's words were beginning to affect Phryne deeply, stirring within her strong feelings of protectiveness over her child, a child whose compatibility her life her aunt was trying to question; an action which caused Phryne to feel highly emotional and indescribably defensive, as she subconsciously placed her right hand on the base of her abdomen, cradling it protectively for a moment, before feeling startled by the action and immediately removing her hand.
"I understand what you are saying, my girl" Mrs Stanley said calmly. "As always, your commitment to trying to do the right thing is admirable, but-"
"My commitment, Aunt Prudence, is to my child" Phryne stated with conviction, finding her emotions rising once more, and threatening to overcome her. "And I will make sure it is safe and cared for and has everything it needs" she added.
"We both will" Jack stated confidently, his calm voice and assured manner reassuring Phryne.
Mrs Stanley looked from Phryne to Jack and sighed slightly, before returning her attentions to her niece.
"Phryne, you don't understand" Mrs Stanley repeated, the statement causing Phryne's fears and concerns to be replaced by a rising feeling of anger and frustration. "A child is not a new adventure for you to go off on, or an interesting puzzle for you both to solve -"
"Mrs Stanley-" Jack interjected, sensing Phryne's rising agitation and annoyance, and finding himself beginning to share it. Mrs Stanley turned her attentions immediately towards him.
"We're not naïve, Aunt Prudence" Phryne said simply, speaking before her aunt had a chance to continue, prompting the woman in question to stare at her, her eyes widening at her tone. "We realise that having a child will have a significant impact on our lives" she explained. "We know that, we've accepted that, and we're doing everything we can to prepare ourselves for the arrival of our baby and everything that that will entail" she stated, her voice warm and confident. "We know it won't be easy" she stated. "But we'll do whatever it takes to make it work."
Mrs Stanley stared at her niece for a moment before inhaling deeply and looking at her with a sympathetic expression, which made Phryne feel both emotional and frustrated in equal measure. She inhaled sharply and looked at her aunt expectantly, as she felt Jack's hand drift across her back and rest protectively upon her waist, which calmed her somewhat.
"I appreciate your intentions, Phryne, but I really don't think you understand the seriousness of this situation" she replied, her persistence causing Phryne to feel disheartened. She'd been expecting shock, surprise, and perhaps even disapproval at first from her aunt, but not this. Never this. She didn't understand. "Children change people's lives in ways they never thought possible" she began. "In most instances such changes can be accommodated, but in others it is less practical" she explained, her voice lowering slightly as she spoke, as glanced between Phryne and Jack. "You are both live a very dangerous lifestyle which places you and those around you under near constant threat" she stated, her words causing Phryne's blood to run cold and her body to feel weak.
"The world is a dangerous place, Aunt Prudence" she returned, echoing an earlier discussion with Jack. "The War, our work, our lives, have taught us that" she added. "In a world so filled with danger and uncertainty, the safest place for the baby to be is with us. Because there is no one on earth who could love it more than we do and be willing to do whatever it takes to keep it safe" she stated with conviction. "We will protect this baby as we protect each other, and all those around us" Phryne replied. Aunt Prudence sighed audibly and stared at her niece with a look of disapproval.
"A child is different, Phryne" Mrs Stanley stated simply. "You can't-"
"What about Jane?" Phryne interceded, watching as a flicker of confusion passed over her aunt's expression. "You voiced your concerns about my ability to look after her when I took her in, and she's happy and healthy and thriving-"
"Yes, in boarding school" Mrs Stanley interceded. "Phryne, Jane is an intelligent and independent teenage girl who is more than capable of looking after herself" she explained calmly. "A baby is completely different" she added, her eyes narrowing as she spoke. Phryne began to feel dizzy with anxiety. "A baby requires constant attention and nurturing, and is completely dependent upon its mother for the first few years of its life" she continued. "Looking after a child during infancy is a full-time occupation, and one which requires absolute commitment and-"
"You don't think I'm committed to taking care of my child?" Phryne asked, her voice laced with hurt and emotion. She felt Jack's hand upon her back as he whispered her name. For a moment, her aunt looked stricken.
"Of course I do, Phryne. That's not what I meant" she returned, sighing slightly in frustration. Mrs Stanley stared at her niece for a few moments, who was watching her with confused and expectant eyes, her expression one of sadness and shock. Mrs Stanley inhaled sharply and continued to speak. "You both work through the day and night, sometimes both, which is enabled by the fact that you are both unattached and able to go off at short notice, or even with no notice at all" she said, her voice rising slightly as she spoke. "And that isn't even taking into consideration your never-ending list of social commitments" she remarked. "Your all night dancing and parties, your charity fundraisers and meetings with your Adventuring Club" she continued. "When this child arrives, you won't be able to just leave at a moment's notice as you are so fond of doing" she added. "And what you both do is incredibly dangerous. What if something happened to one of you? Or both of you? What would happen to the child then?" she demanded. "Children need constant care, stability and safety, and will be completely dependent on you both for all of those things, particularly during infancy" she stated, speaking in a slow manner which Phryne found to be almost patronising, as she listened intently to what her aunt was saying. "Who will look after the child when you are working?" she asked, staring into her niece's eyes. "Mr Butler is certainly not a nanny, and your maid has just married and will probably be leaving to start her own family soon" she stated. Phryne inhaled sharply and looked at her aunt with a faux-confident expression.
"Aunt P, I'm not going to pretend that Jack and I have all of those answers right now, because we don't" she said gently, an emotional edge to her tone as her anxiety rose within her. "In truth, we're still adjusting to the fact that in September we are going to be parents" she stated. "But no matter what is going on in our personal or professional lives, no matter what case we are working on or event I am hosting or interests I have, nothing is more important to us than this baby" she stated with conviction, her voice becoming more confident as she spoke. "Our child is our priority, and we are going to make sure that everything is prepared for when it arrives" she explained.
"Which will be very soon, my dear girl" Mrs Stanley stated, a remark which made Phryne feel both affronted and unsettled. "Are you going to hire a nanny?" she asked Phryne, who was staring at her.
"I…" Phryne began, finding herself feeling unsure of the answer, and how to respond. "I don't know" she admitted. Phryne found herself feeling panicked by a question, one which, as she felt her aunt's expectant eyes upon her, she felt she should have the answer to. She and Jack had not yet addressed this particular issue, but she found herself feeling instinctively averse to it; the idea of someone she didn't know taking care of her child terrified her. As did the fact that she did not know the answer to what should be a rather simple question. "Aunt Prudence, Jack and I-"
"Are you going to give up your work?" Aunt Prudence asked.
"No" Phryne returned instantly. "I can be this baby's mother and still work-"
"How?" Mrs Stanley asked, incredulously. "What will you do if you both get called away in the middle of the night, or even the middle of the day? Who will look after the child then?" she asked, her voice rising. "Phryne, despite your belief to the contrary, it is not possible for you to do everything on your own-"
"She's not on her own, Mrs Stanley" Jack interceded, speaking in a calm and respectful tone which Phryne found comforting. "If Phryne wants to continue working after the baby is born I will support her completely. I will support her whatever she chooses to do, and we will find a way to make it possible" he stated with confidence. "This has to be her choice" he declared, meeting Mrs Stanley's gaze as he spoke. "But I want you to know that nothing is more important to us than the safety and well-being of our child" he stated resolutely. "And we will do whatever it takes to ensure it."
"You mean like running into burning buildings with the child?" Mrs Stanley countered, causing Phryne's eyes to widen as she looked up at her with a hurt and slightly shocked expression. "Despite being four months pregnant you ran into that wretched place whilst it was ablaze, all for the sake of your case."
"I ran in there because there were two women trapped inside screaming for help" Phryne countered, the words almost choking her. "I know I shouldn't have done it. It was a mistake, and it's not one that I will be repeating."
"You were reckless, Phryne and you could have been hurt. You and the baby" Mrs Stanley returned. "I don't think-"
"Mrs Stanley-" Jack cautioned, taking a step forward.
"I made a mistake, I know I did" Phryne responded, her voice heavy with emotion as she addressed her aunt. "But it's not something I will be repeating" she stated with conviction. "I know what Jack and I do is dangerous, but we are going to find a way to make this work" she explained, watching as her aunt sighed lightly at the remark. "This baby exists, Aunt P" she explained. "And despite your clear objection to its existence, it will be born in around five months' time" she stated, as her aunt, who appeared affronted, attempted to speak. "The safest place for this baby to be is with us" she declared. "This is our child and we will look after it" she stated. "I won't pretend that we have all the answers right now because we don't, but we will" she added. "I will do whatever it takes to make sure that this baby arrives safely and is kept safe" she stated with conviction, watching as her aunt's eyes widened with shock. Jack, who could sense that Phryne was becoming increasingly agitated and overwhelmed, looked upon the scene with concern.
"I don't object to this child's existence, Phryne" Mrs Stanley said solemnly, her voice low and sincere. "What I object to is your cavalier attitude towards the impact this child will have upon your lives" she stated firmly, the comment causing Phryne's eyes to widen and her entire body to tense as she stared at her aunt. "This is a serious matter, and I don't think you appreciate that-"
"I can assure you, Aunt Prudence, I completely appreciate the seriousness of this situation" Phryne interceded, her voice rising slightly, annoyance entering her tone. "Jack and I have spent the past couple of months doing everything we can to prepare ourselves and our lives for our child's arrival" she stated. "We may not have everything worked out at the moment, but we have time, and we intend on using it very wisely" she stated, inhaling sharply as she attempted to calm herself. "The only thing that I don't appreciate is you denouncing my ability to be a mother before I've even had a chance" she stated, her voice laced with emotion as she felt tears burn in her eyes. "This baby isn't even born yet and you're already acting as if I have condemned it" she added. "I have made mistakes and there is still a lot that I don't know and don't understand, but I will" she stated with conviction. "I didn't expect you to be overjoyed at the news, or even accepting of it, but I hoped that you would care enough about me and this child to at least try" she said, her eyes filled with tears, her voice becoming choked.
"Phryne, of course I care about you-" she said stepping forwards. "And it's because I care about that you that I need to ensure you fully understand the implications of-" Phryne, who was feeling overwhelmed, exhaled deeply and shook her head sadly, the action causing her aunt to stop speaking immediately. "I'm sure you have the best intentions, dear girl, but having a child requires a lot more than good intentions" she stated resolutely, her voice rising as she spoke. Phryne, feeling insulted and patronised, stared into her eyes. "This needs to be about what is best for the baby" she stated, using the term 'baby' for the first time. "This child is not something that can fit neatly into your life, around your investigations and your parties and your fraternisation" she stated, prompting Phryne's eyes to widen in shock. "Being a mother is about significantly more than simply providing a child with the material things that it requires. The baby will need you constantly. It will be defenceless and demanding and dependent upon you for everything, and it is a tremendous responsibility that must be accepted and understood by the women who undertake it" she stated "and given your commitment to your work and to your lifestyle, I'm not sure that you do" she added, the accusation in her tone wounding Phryne, who felt a single tear roll down her cheek.
Phryne stared at her aunt in shock, her words cutting through her like the blade that had almost claimed her life several months prior, as she considered the words which echoed in her mind, and left her utterly devastated. She knew that she had a lot to learn, and that there was much that she and Jack needed to discuss, but they were making progress, and they did have time. Phryne had spent the past couple of months in a state of almost constant anxiety, doubting herself and her abilities to be a mother, and desperately seeking to do everything she could to prepare and to fix herself to ensure that she was the best mother she was able to be. In that moment, Phryne found the anxieties she had been experiencing over the past couple of months strike her with an almost physical force, paralysing her completely. Whilst she was accepting of her flaws and the need to correct them, especially now, what she had not anticipated, and would not accept, was the suggestion that she was not committed to this child, and that her selfishness and hedonism meant she never would be; and the fact that such a suggestion had come from her aunt pained her deeply. Whether she was outraged at the inference or terrified that it was true, she could not tell; but what she did know was that her aunt's words caused something inside her to shift. Phryne felt herself trembling with anger and emotion as she stared at her aunt with wide eyes and an unreadable expression, which seemed to affect the older woman, whose expression altered slightly as she looked upon her niece.
"Phryne-" Mrs Stanley began.
"Contrary to your beliefs, Aunt Prudence, I am well aware of the fact that this baby will change everything, and I assure you there is nothing I care about more than taking care of my child" Phryne interceded, her voice low and tinged with emotion. "I know there are many issues that Jack and I need to address, and we don't yet have all the answers we need, but we will" she added. "Because I love this baby and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I am the mother it deserves, the mother it needs, no matter what sacrifices I have to make" she stated with conviction. "Your questions about the practicalities of our childcare arrangements, which we will work out, are completely justified and understandable" she added. "But your suggestion that I am not committed to this baby or capable of looking after it is not" she said, staring at her aunt with eyes filled with tears. "If you believe I am too selfish and consumed by my work to have a child then that's your prerogative" she added, attempting to control the emotion which was present in her voice. "But you're wrong" she stated with conviction. "And the implication is both insulting and unjust, and I will not stand here and allow you to condemn my ability to be a mother when I haven't even been given a chance to try" she said, tears burning in her eyes as her voice rose with emotion. "I wanted to talk to you, Aunt Prudence. I wanted to discuss this with you and for you to be a part of it" she stated. "I didn't think you'd be overjoyed with the idea but I didn't think you would be so dismissive of it either, and I hoped it would be something you would at least be willing to talk about" she explained. "But clearly I was mistaken" she added sadly. "Whilst I can listen to your criticism about my lifestyle and my unconventionality, I absolutely will not accept you questioning my commitment to my child" she stated firmly, her voice slightly choked. "And if you truly believe what you just said then I think it's your commitment to those you claim to love that should be questioned" she added, her voice heavy with emotion. As she uttered the final words, Phryne found the rising feeling of anxiety and panic she had been experiencing overwhelm her completely, and she was frustrated to realise that she felt as though she was about to cry. She had managed to maintain her composure during the emotionally charged and increasingly heated discussion, but suddenly it was all too much.
"Phryne" said Jack gently, his voice low and soothing, as he drew his hand comfortingly across the centre of her back. The kindness in his tone and in his action broke Phryne's resolve completely.
"I can't, Jack, I'm sorry" she said quietly, before turning immediately on the spot and walking quickly back towards the house.
"Phryne" Jack called gently, turning towards her and watching as she hurried across the garden.
Mr Stanley, who was still in shock following the revelation of her niece's condition, watched in stunned silence as she hastened towards the house. Phryne's words echoed in her mind, and she found herself unable to free herself from the image of her niece's face; her paleness, her tear-filled eyes which had been filled with sadness and fear. She was not accustomed to seeing Phryne upset, and certainly not afraid. She found herself feeling rather uneasy and unsettled, and uncharacteristically emotional after the exchange. She swallowed hard.
"Under the circumstances, inspector, I think it's best that I leave" she said suddenly, her voice lower than she had intended. Jack, who had just watched Phryne enter the kitchen, turned back towards her aunt.
"Mrs Stanley, I-"
"Good evening" she interrupted, swallowing hard and averting her eyes from Jack, before turning on the spot and walking in the opposite direction, towards the side of the house which led onto the street.
Jack watched Mrs Stanley for a moment, before quickly turning on the spot and heading towards the house.
Phryne had walked quickly across the garden and into the house, tears welling in her eyes and clouding her vision slightly as she hurried through the kitchen, lowering her head to avoid Mr Butler's gaze. When Jack stepped into the room a few moments later he saw Mr Butler staring at the doorway to the dining room, before turning towards him with concern.
"Is everything alright, Sir?" he asked, frowning with confusion.
"Yes, Mr Butler, thank you" Jack returned, walking quickly through the kitchen and dining room, and arriving in the hallway moments after Phryne. A sound from the staircase drew his attention to his left, and he watched as Phryne ascended the last few steps before hurrying along the corridor.
Phryne walked quickly across the corridor and towards her bedroom, opening the door quickly and stepping inside, heading instinctively towards the window seat as the tears which had been welling in her eyes now began to fall freely down her cheeks, as she eased herself slowly onto the seat. Phryne choked on a sob and clasped her hand over her mouth to stifle it, as she found herself feeling overwhelmed by the exchange with her aunt, which surprised and frightened her, causing her to lose control of her emotions completely. Phryne had been battling her own insecurities and feelings of uncertainty and anxiety regarding her ability to be a mother, and her aunt's words had reignited the fears which she had been able to suppress for a short while, causing them to return to her stronger than before; hearing them spoken from the lips of another, particularly her aunt, gave the words more weight somehow, and added a new reality to her pre-existent fears, which seemed to have now moved beyond being a mere concept and transformed into irrefutable certainty. As she cried, Phryne found herself remembering her aunt's words, particularly her questioning of her ability to be a mother and to enable a child to fit into her life. The accusation had stung, cutting through her almost painfully, and causing the fears she had over her maternal abilities to return to her with full force, and overwhelm her completely. As she considered the heated and emotionally charged discussion with her aunt, she found herself also reminded of her unpreparedness and uncertainty; she hadn't been able to answer any of the questions her aunt had asked about the practicalities of raising this child, which had been perfectly reasonable and absolutely necessary issues that had to be answered. At the recollection of the questions and the issues, Phryne found herself reminded of her own ignorance and unpreparedness, and her anxieties about her knowledge of children and the practicalities associated with raising them returned to her once more. Many of the points her aunt had raised had been ones that needed to be addressed, she understood that, she accepted that. There was so much that needed to be discussed and decided and accounted for that it made her head spin. Her aunt's response to Phryne's declaration that she and Jack both wanted their baby and would keep it safe had echoed her own from when she first disclosed her pregnancy to Jack: it wasn't about what she wanted, it was about the baby. Phryne felt herself feeling sickened with guilt at the terrifying possibility that she had somehow overlooked her own conviction, and she found herself questioning herself and her motivations once more, as the realisation of her own ignorance and selfishness returned to her. As Phryne sat in the window seat and allowed her tears to fall, she found herself feeling sick with the realisation that she was not upset because she felt her aunt's questions had been unfair or inappropriate, or that her questioning of her ability to be a mother was unjustified. She was absolutely terrified and distraught because it was very possible that she was right. Before she could consider the matter further, there was a tentative knock at the door, prompting Phryne to inhale sharply and turn her tear-filled eyes towards it.
"Phryne?" called Jack gently, his voice low and kind.
Phryne closed her eyes and fought back a fresh wave of tears, before inhaling a calming breath and rising unsteadily from her seat. She cleared her throat quietly and sniffed, wiping her cheeks with her hands in attempt to brush away the tears, before releasing a long breath and staring at the door.
"Yes?" she called, her voice sounding slightly more confident than she thought possible. She swallowed hard as the door slowly opened, as Jack stepped into the room and looked at her with a concerned and tender expression, which almost broke her resolve completely. She watched as he looked at her with worried yet gentle eyes and began to approach her. "I'm fine" she said instinctively, inhaling sharply as she spoke, lowering her eyes from his as she began to feel overwhelmed once more. "I'm fine, I just-" she stated, as he quickly reached her and placed his hands upon her waist, the contact causing her to break down completely. Phryne put her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob, which quickly turned into fresh tears, as Jack drew his hands around her waist and pulled her to him, holding her close.
"It's alright" he soothed, his voice gentle and reassuring, as he held her against him. "It's alright" he repeated, holding Phryne against him as she tensed and trembled in an attempt to prevent herself from crying. Jack held her for just over a minute, occasional choked cries escaping from her lips as she attempted to stifle her sobbing with her hand, before inhaling sharply and leaning back from his embrace. Jack slowly lowered his arms and looked upon her with concern.
"Sorry" she said quietly, lowering her eyes from his as she wiped her tears from her cheeks. She looked pale and slightly shaken and was clearly embarrassed, and Jack sought to remedy it all immediately.
"Don't be sorry" Jack soothed, his kindly tone causing Phryne to feel emotional once more. Jack placed his right hand on her waist to comfort and steady her, as he looked down into her tear-filled eyes. Although he had seen Phryne upset before, he had seldom seen her so distraught; the last time she had been this distressed and afraid was when she had confided in him the news of her pregnancy. And as it had been then, the unfamiliar sight of Phryne being so upset and so vulnerable was unbearable, and he desperately wanted to comfort her. "Your aunt was surprised by the news, that's all" he stated, as Phryne inhaled sharply and wiped her cheeks with her hands. "I'm sure once she-"
"It's not that" Phryne replied quietly and she shook her head, keeping her eyes low as she was unable to meet Jack's gaze. "I knew she'd be shocked, and I'd anticipated her concerns about a scandal and my reputation and my lifestyle" she said, her voice low and quiet. Jack watched her with increasing concern as she spoke, placing his left hand upon her waist and taking a step closer, prompting her to finally look up at him. Her eyes were red and tearful, and she appeared worryingly pale. Her distress and her concern was clear from her expression, despite her clear attempts to hide it. Jack nodded gently in response.
"And you addressed those concerns with her" Jack reminded her gently. "You showed her that you were already aware of those issues and-"
"No, Jack, I didn't" she admitted tearfully, shaking her head slightly as she stared into his eyes. "I barely addressed half of the things she said, and even then I fared very badly" she stated, removing her eyes from his and staring at the ground. "God, I sounded like a child" she sighed with frustration, as memories of her conversation with her aunt came back to her.
"You didn't sound like a child" Jack assured her, confused by her statement. "You sounded like a mother" he added gently, his tone imbued with sincerity. Phryne looked up at him with sad eyes, and Jack felt his heart sink. He watched her with confusion and concern for a moment, considering her patiently until she was ready to continue.
"A mother" Phryne repeated quietly, considering the words as she spoke them. "Something my aunt believes I am incapable of becoming" she added. Jack's stomach dropped and he felt a renewed sense of annoyance and frustration at Mrs Stanley's stark condemnation of Phryne's maternal skills.
"She's wrong" Jack said firmly. "Phryne, you will be a wonderful mother. You already are" he stated with conviction. Phryne looked up at Jack with wide eyes which glistened with tears, before stepping away from him and walking across the room. Jack watched her with concern as she took a few steps before stopping and turning around to face him.
"You don't know that, Jack, and neither do I" Phryne returned quietly, the words devastating her as she spoke them aloud. "And she certainly wasn't wrong about everything" she added quickly as she met his gaze, her voice laced with emotion. "She said I didn't understand the seriousness of my pregnancy and the implications of having a child, and she was right" she admitted sadly, fresh tears burning in her eyes as she stated her confession. "This child will be dependent upon us for absolutely everything, especially during its infancy, and I don't know what to do" she explained tearfully, as Jack looked upon her with gentle eyes. "I don't know how to look after a child, certainly not an infant. I don't know the first thing about babies" she stated, her voice raising slightly with emotion. Jack, sensing her rising distress, began to walk slowly towards her. "I want to take care of our child, Jack, I really do" she assured him, as he walked closer to her, and was currently only a couple of paces away. "But I don't know how to" she admitted, the confession devastating her.
Jack, who was devastated at seeing Phryne so distraught, reached her as she uttered her last words and placed his hands upon her waist, stepping before her and searching for her eyes, which she quickly removed from his.
"Phryne" Jack said gently, the kindness in his tone paining her. "Darling, you know more than you realise" he stated. "Just because you don't know everything right now, in this moment, doesn't mean that you never will" he assured her. "You have Mac, Dot and Mr Butler, and your aunt – who will come around – and my family" he continued, his tone low and gentle. "And you have me" he stated, drawing his hands across her waist and towards her back. "This is new to both of us, and I know it's frightening, and has taken you completely out of your comfort zone" he explained, as she swallowed hard and slowly looked back up to meet his gaze, a sad and guilty expression in her eyes. "There's a lot we need to learn, but we do have time" he assured her. "You're barely four months pregnant, Phryne. This baby won't be arriving until late September" he stated reassuringly. "We have plenty of time to learn what we need to learn, and to make all the necessary arrangements" he said gently. "We will figure this out" he stated. "You can do this. We can do this." he stated with conviction. "We'll do it together" he assured her, his voice low and soothing.
Phryne looked up at Jack and considered him for a few moments as she processed his words. Jack was a cautious, well-organised and methodical man, and his calm and rational approach to her fears reassured her significantly. But not completely.
"Jack, what are we going to do when this baby arrives?" Phryne asked nervously, fear present in her tone. "Aunt Prudence was right. We both work long and irregular hours, how on earth can we take care of a child?" she added. "Dot told me she wanted to help with the baby, but she's not a maid or a nanny, she's my assistant. She wants to continue learning to be a detective and I won't take that away from her by sending her to the nursery" she stated. "I don't know what we're going to do."
"We will figure it out" Jack assured her. "Phryne-"
"Aunt Prudence's questions were completely justified" Phryne stated suddenly, the words wounding her. "I don't want to give up my work, but the idea of a stranger looking after our child is just so terrifying, and I don't think that I-"
"Phryne" Jack said, his voice kind but firm, as he drew his hands up her waist. "It's alright" he stated. "It is an important decision, and something which we will need to figure out" he explained. "But not immediately" he added. "We have five months until the baby arrives, which is more than enough time to consider our options and establish what we want to do" he stated confidently. Phryne considered him for a moment before nodding slowly.
"I thought about it" she said quietly. "I mean, I consider it, of course, but not as much as I ought to have" she admitted. "I've just been so preoccupied with getting used to this pregnancy that I haven't-"
"You're been focusing on looking after yourself and our child" Jack explained gently. "And that is not something you need to apologise for." Phryne looked up at Jack with sadness in her eyes.
"I haven't been doing a very good job, though" she admitted quietly. "As we saw when I went into the-"
"Phryne" Jack interceded, running his hands tenderly down her waist in an attempt to soothe her. "We've already talked about this, it's alright" he stated warmly.
"No, it's not" Phryne responded. "Aunt Prudence was right, Jack. I am selfish, I'm obsessed with my work, and my lifestyle and my character are incompatible with raising a child" she stated, tears falling from her eyes and spilling down her cheeks.
"No" Jack said firmly. "No, that's not true" he added, finding himself feeling worried and concerned for Phryne, whose self-doubt had returned, and seemed stronger than before. "You are not selfish" he stated with conviction. "The fact that you are worrying about this and you want to do what is best for our child demonstrates that you are not selfish" he explained. "Being committed to your work is not a weakness, and it is not something which means you aren't able to be a mother" he explained. "Your drive to find the truth and to bring justice to the victims of crime is a strength, Phryne, it is not a weakness" he stated confidently. "And our child will grow up knowing that it's mother is a strong, independent and intelligent woman who loves it beyond measure and beyond question" he stated. "You once told me that I always did the right thing, and I informed you that I do not" he stated. "But you always do" he stated with conviction. "I don't doubt for a moment that you will be a wonderful mother. You love this baby and your main priority is ensuring that it is loved and looked after and has everything it needs" he stated. "How can that conviction possibly be incompatible with motherhood?"
Phryne considered Jack's words for a few moment, finding that his reassurances had the same calming effect upon her as they always did. But despite his conviction and her desperate desire to believe his words, she still found herself battling significant doubts, over both her abilities and herself.
"How are we going to do this?" she asked quietly, her voice filled with uncertainty. Jack looked deep into her eyes and spoke to her kindly.
"The same way other people who have children do" he returned. "We'll make it work" he explained, sensing Phryne's anxiety and finding himself realising that the best way to alleviate it was to discuss the matter fully. "We don't always work at the same time" Jack said. "Sometimes one of us will work during the day and the other at night, and sometimes you and Dot spend time together working from home" he said gently. "Is hiring a nanny something that you want to consider?" he asked, the thought having occurred to him, causing him mild discomfort and anxiety. Of course, the arrangements for looking after their child whilst they were both working had occurred to him, but his priority over the past couple of months had been ensuring that Phryne and the baby were safe and healthy during the tentative initial stages, and he'd assumed they would discuss this matter at a slightly later date. Phryne considered his words and shook her head.
"I don't know" she responded. "After the baby is born I wanted to stay at home for a while" she explained, having considered the prospect extensively over the past few weeks, and finding the notion appealing to her increasingly more as her pregnancy progressed. "But after that, I don't… I don't know, I…" she explained. Jack nodded.
"It's alright" he soothed. "We'll work something out" he assured her, as he attempted to think of potential solutions to the matter.
"Aunt Prudence was right" Phryne breathed, the resignation in her tone drawing Jack immediately from his thoughts. "We haven't thought this through."
"We are still thinking this through" Jack explained. "Phryne, we have time" he assured her. "Just because we don't have all of the answers right now doesn't mean that we never will" he stated. "We will work all of this out before the baby arrives, I promise" he said warmly. Phryne looked up at Jack with uncertain eyes, nodded gently in response and offered him a small smile. Before she could respond, there was a familiar knock at the door, and she turned instinctively towards it.
"Come in, Mr B" she called, her voice sounding more confident than it had previously. The door was slowly opened and her butler appeared, glancing from her to Jack before focussing his attentions upon her.
"I'm sorry for interrupting, Miss" he said politely, before turning towards Jack, "I have an Inspector O'Shaughnessy on the telephone asking for you, Sir" he stated. "He says that there has been an incident at the docks and he requires your immediate assistance."
Jack, who was not even on call that evening, and found the idea of leaving Phryne unfathomable, considered the words for barely a moment before responding.
"Would you please tell him to call Inspector Lotheram instead?" Jack asked, causing Phryne to look up at him with a guilty expression. "My presence is required here this evening" he stated confidently. Mr Butler nodded and was about to depart when Phryne interjected.
"No, Jack, it's fine, you should go" she said calmly, her voice and her manner almost restored. Jack turned towards her and looked at her with confusion and concern. "You're needed at the docks."
"I'm needed here" he replied firmly. A small smile played on Phryne's lips, and she placed her hand on Jack's arm and stroked it tenderly.
"I'm fine" she stated with conviction, her voice sounding more confident than it had done all afternoon. "Jack-"
"You're not fine" he said quietly, his voice so low than even Mr Butler's acute hearing did not pick up the remark. Not that he was trying to, of course. "Phryne, I -"
"I'm alright, really" she assured him. "I just need some time to think" she said gently, meeting his eyes with a gentle expression.
Jack considered her for a moment, his eyes drifting over her calm and composed expression as he processed her words. He knew that Phryne was incredibly introspective and analytical; she needed time to process what had happened independently, and to think the matter through independently. Although she may wish him to stay, he knew that his presence would likely hinder this process, a process which Phryne had probably developed at a very young age and assisted her with dealing with difficult situations. He didn't want to leave her, not after how distressed she'd been, and how worried she still was. But as he looked into her eyes, he realised that he had to.
"Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly. Phryne nodded.
"I am" she assured him, offering him a small smile. "Go" she said gently.
Jack considered her for a moment before nodding in agreement, and feeling overwhelmed with guilt despite having acted in accordance with Phryne's wishes. Jack inhaled sharply and turned towards Mr Butler, who had been standing unobtrusively by the door.
"Mr Butler, would you please tell Inspector O'Shaughnessy that I will be at the docks in fifteen minutes" he asked. Mr Butler nodded.
"Of course, Sir" he responded, before turning on the spot and disappearing down the corridor. Jack turned back towards Phryne.
"Will you be alright?" Jack asked gently. Phryne offered him a small, reassuring smile.
"Of course" she responded. "I will" she stated with conviction.
Jack considered her for a moment, before taking a step forward and placing his hand upon her cheek and drawing her face towards his, and kissing her tenderly upon the lips. Phryne felt her entire body weaken at the sensation and she responded immediately, her hand drifting up his arm as the kiss deepened. After a few moments, she reluctantly broke it.
"Don't have too much fun without me" she said gently. Jack nodded slowly in response.
"If there's anything you need-"
"I'll be fine" she assured him. "Go" she gently encouraged. Jack inhaled deeply and nodded.
"I'll be back as soon as I can" he responded. Phryne nodded in understanding and offered him a reassuring smile, as he turned on the spot and walked reluctantly from the room, forcing himself with some difficulty to ignore the strong urge he had to return to her side. As soon as Jack closed the door behind him, Phryne's smile and her confident expression fell completely.
Phryne exhaled sharply and felt tears begin to burn in her eyes once more, as the fear and panic which Jack had temporarily managed to quell returned to her with strength. Phryne felt suddenly rather faint and unsteady on her feet, and slowly walked back towards the window seat, easing herself onto it and leaning against her wall, drawing her legs up upon the seat and tilting her head back. She closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply, before releasing a long breath in an attempt to calm herself. When she opened her eyes she lowered her head, and was somewhat surprised to find that she had subconsciously placed her right hand upon her stomach, and was currently cradling her swollen abdomen. Phryne inhaled unsteadily and gazed down at her stomach, drawing the fabric of her light pink blouse tightly across her abdomen to reveal the definite swell. Memories of the exchange with her aunt in the garden returned to her once more, and she felt an unprecedented level of panic and guilt overwhelm her completely, as she felt the strength and firmness of the curve of her abdomen beneath her trembling hand. Phryne removed her gaze from her abdomen and stared out of the window, watching the sky darken and the waves crash upon the foreshore in the distance, as she attempted to calm herself and assemble her thoughts to deal with them rationally. Phryne sat in the window seat quietly and quite alone for almost ten minutes, as she considered the conversation with her aunt, each statement and each question which needed addressing, and her own concerns regarding her maternal ability. Despite her terror and uncertainty, Phryne forced herself to remain in her room and consider the urgent matters she needed to address, despite her fear and discomfort. During this time she sat quite still and silent in a pensive state, her right arm cradling her abdomen protectively, in a tender action which contrasted the internal agony she was harbouring completely.
Jack had walked slowly down the stairs in rather a daze, the short journey from the bedroom to the hallway feeling almost infinite. As he walked towards the coat stand Mr Butler and Dot emerged from the dining room, and he turned immediately towards them.
"I'm sorry, Sir" began Mr Butler earnestly. "I suggested to Mrs Stanley that I escort her, but she-"
"It's alright, Mr Butler" Jack reassured him, his voice low and husky. "Mrs Stanley can be rather insistent." Mr Butler nodded in response.
"Indeed, Sir" he agreed quietly.
"Is Miss Phryne alright?" asked Dot with concern, staring up at Jack with an imploring gaze. Jack looked into her eyes and considered the question.
"Phryne had a rather heated exchange with Mrs Stanley and she is understandably upset" he responded gently, watching as Dot's eyes filled with worry. "She says that she's fine but that isn't the case" he added candidly, his concern for Phryne increasing as he spoke out loud. "Will you stay with her?" he asked gently. Dot nodded immediately in response.
"Of course, Inspector" she assured him. Jack nodded gratefully in response.
"If you're concerned, or if she's not alright-" Jack began, not quite certain of how to put his thoughts into words, "you will call me?"
"Yes" Dot replied immediately, nodding in response. Jack exhaled deeply.
"Thank you" he said quietly, before walking across the corridor and towards the coat stand, where he removed his hat and coat and headed towards the front door, which he left without looking back; because he knew if he turned around and saw the staircase again, he would not be able to stop himself from ascending.
After Jack had left, Dot and Mr Butler discussed matters as they understood them, and decided it would be best to leave Miss Phryne in privacy for a short while; they had seen her pain and anguish during the events with Foyle and after difficult cases, and knew it was sometimes her custom to spend some time in solitude to process events. They also knew, from experience, that this seemed to aid her immeasurably. Despite how difficult it was for them to leave her quite alone. Dot decided that, after fifteen minutes or so, she would go into Miss Phryne's room to ensure she was alright, offer her a bath or dinner or simply her presence, and hope desperately that one of them would be accepted. However, Dot was surprised to find that, less than ten minutes after having settled upon this course of action, she heard the sound of Miss Phryne's step upon the staircase.
After ten minutes of attempting to order her thoughts and process the events of the afternoon, Phryne found that her head began to spin, and her desire to consider the matters at hand was fatally hindered by her exhaustion and anxiety. She was too emotional and distraught to consider matters clearly and objectively, as was required. Before she could think, she needed to be calm, and in order to be calm, she needed a distraction. Phryne stared out of the window and found her vision focused upon the very spot where she and Aunt Prudence had argued, her stomach tightening at the memory. As she considered the unobtrusive area of grass beside the orchids and the roses, her gaze drifted towards the table where she had been sitting, and upon the box and packaging and stack of correspondence which adorned it. Relief flooded Phryne as she glanced upon the letters which needed her attention, deciding that this would be a temporary but suitable distraction which would help to calm her, thus enabling her mind to move on to more serious matters. For the first time since the argument, Phryne felt that she could breathe.
And so, ten minutes after Jack left, Phryne descended the staircase and stepped into the hallway, prompting her companion to emerge from the parlour (where she had been darning) to meet her.
"Good evening, Miss" Dot said gently, smiling warmly at her employer. Phryne turned towards her and offered her a small smile.
"Hello, Dot" she returned warmly, as her companion walked towards her.
Dot's eyes drifted over Miss Phryne's face, noticing immediately the slight reddening of the eyes and the pale complexion, both of which she had attempted to conceal by reapplying her make-up. It was relatively successful, almost anyone else who saw Phryne now would not knew she had been distraught and crying just a short while ago. Except for Dot, that is.
"Are you alright, Miss?" Dot asked tentatively, attempting to conceal concern from both her voice and expression as she spoke. Phryne nodded gently in response.
"I'm fine, Dot. Thank you" she returned amiably. Dot, knowing that this signified she did not wish to discuss the matter, nodded in understanding.
"Would you like me to run you a bath? Dot offered kindly, offering her a gentle smile. Phryne inhaled sharply.
"As wonderful as that sounds, dear Dot, I'm afraid it will have to wait" she responded kindly. "I have some work to do" she added, before offering her companion a small smile and disappearing into the dining room.
Phryne walked through the dining room and into the kitchen, greeting Mr Butler with as much warmth and enthusiasm as she could muster in her fraught state, before walking calmly into the garden and towards the table. Phryne collected her correspondence and stacked them into neat piles, which she divided with her fingers, before glancing along the table and finding her attentions focused upon the toy cat which lay displayed in the open box. Phryne experienced a sudden feeling of panic at the sight, as the reality of her pregnancy and her increasing fears over her incompatibility with motherhood returned to her with such force as to leave her breathless. Phryne stared at the toy cat for a short while, remembering picking it up in the store, examining it closely, Jack's kind words, his encouragement, his handing over the money to the cashier. Suddenly it was too much, it was all too much. She was having a baby and the most preparation she had undertaken, the only thing which showed she even had a marginal understanding of what was happening and what was going to happen, was displayed in a ginger toy cat with white paws and blue eyes. Phryne felt a renewed sense of fear and frustration at her own stupidity, and she inhaled sharply, before swallowing hard and walking briskly across the garden, carrying her correspondence with her, but leaving the toy cat upon the table.
Phryne and Dot spent the next couple of hours together in the parlour, with Phryne sorting through her correspondence, drafting letters and making extensive notes. Dot watched as Miss Phryne worked in her usual dedicated and methodical manner, and was relieved to find that, despite being notably quieter than usual, she did still engage her in conversation, and sought her opinion on various matters. Shortly after seven o'clock, Dot put the letter she had been reading aside and turned towards her employer, who was just signing a letter she had drafted to Mr and Mrs Riley on the matter of their missing racehorse. Dot waited until Phryne had signed the letter and placed the lid back upon her fountain pen before speaking.
"Would you like dinner to be prepared, Miss?" Dot asked tentatively, as Phryne picked up the letter she had just responded to and read it through once more.
"No, thank you" she replied automatically, her voice quiet but amiable, as she skimmed the second paragraph once more. As soon as Phryne had uttered her response, she found herself drawn from her work and back into the present moment, as the question Dot had asked her played on her lips once more. She remembered Mac's orders to eat and remain hydrated, her own promise to Jack that she was trying, and her solemn vow to the baby that she would do everything she could to keep it safe. She lowered the letter back onto the table and looked up towards Dot, whose kind eyes reassured her almost immediately. "Actually, yes, Dot, I would" she stated, not feeling the least desire to eat, but knowing she had to. Dot's expression softened and she smiled before rising from her seat. "Thank you" Phryne said gently.
"Of course, Miss" Dot returned, offering her a reassuring smile as she left the room and headed towards the kitchen.
Phryne watched Dot until she was out of view, before returning her attention to the letter before her, and continuing to read. By the time Dot returned to the parlour a few minutes later, Phryne had already read another letter and was in the process of replying when her companion's footsteps caused her to glance up from her work. As she did so, she found herself staring at Dot, who was carrying a familiar box into the room, which she placed down on the table before her. Phryne felt her heart clench.
"Is this yours, Miss?" Dot asked gently, her tone light and amused. "I saw it through the kitchen window when I was discussing dinner with Mr Butler" Phryne inhaled sharply.
"Uh… well, uh" she began, her uncharacteristic hesitation causing Dot to turn towards her employer. "It's not mine, exactly, though I did buy it" she explained. "Well, technically Jack bought it, but…" she corrected, finding herself feeling increasingly nervous and somewhat embarrassed. "If you're fond of it, Dot, I'll gladly buy you one." Dot looked up at Phryne and smiled.
"It's for the baby" Dot said gently, as she stroked the toy's fur with her fingers. Phryne swallowed.
"Indeed it is" Phryne returned. "We'll make a detective out of you yet, Dot" she added, offering her a nervous smile, before glancing down at the cat, which caused sadness to overcome her expression for a moment, before returning her attention to her work. Dot, who was focused on the toy, remained oblivious.
"I think it's lovely, Miss" she said gently. Phryne nodded.
"So did I" Phryne replied quietly. Dot, sensing she might have unintentionally embarrassed Miss Phryne, rose from her seat.
"I'll go and see if Mr Butler needs help with dinner" she explained. Phryne nodded in understanding and offered her a warm smile, as her companion once again left the parlour.
As soon as Dot was out of view, Phryne returned her attention to her work, and continued writing her letter to the Jones's. Or, at least, she tried to. She had scarcely written two lines before she caught sight of the box containing the toy cat in the corner of her eye, and her anxiety overcame her once more, as did her paralysing self-doubt. Phryne swallowed hard, attempting to ignore her rising emotions, as she looked down at her letter again and continued to write. A few seconds later, she made a clumsy error as she wrote, and sighed lightly in frustration before placing her pen gently down upon the table. Her eyes drifted to the box once more, and to the left side of the cat's face and body which were visible, and she found herself feeling overwhelmed once more. She inhaled deeply and stared at the toy, as the memories of her conversation with her aunt returned to her, and she was reminded of her ignorance and inadequacies. Phryne inhaled deeply and lowered her eyes, as she mentally scolded herself for her current weakness; she was being intimidated by a stuffed toy. Aunt Prudence was right, echoed the voice which Phryne had been desperately trying to suppress, I can't be a mother. Phryne considered the matter for a moment, before suddenly rising from her seat and reaching for the box, holding it against her left side and carrying it from the room.
Phryne walked quickly up the stairs and stepped onto the landing, before instinctively heading down the corridor and towards the spare bedroom opposite hers. She opened the door and walked inside, glancing around the spacious and well-decorated room, before walking towards a table against the wall directly opposite the door. Phryne gently placed the box down upon the small mahogany table beside a Chinese vase and a small statue of Venus. She stared into the box for a moment, gazing at the toy cat for several moments, which seemed to have had some compelling effect upon her, almost like magnetism, since the very moment she first caught sight of it. Phryne found herself reaching for the toy once more, her fingers drifting through its soft fur and towards its face, which was ginger and white. As soon as the stuffed animal's artificial whiskers grazed her skin, Phryne found herself emerging from her trance, and slowly removed her hand from the toy. She then took a step back from the table before turning around and walking back towards the door, which she opened quickly, and stepping out into the corridor. Phryne glanced back into the room and caught sight of the box once more, the side of the toy's face and one of its ears just visible from the top of the box, before closing the door firmly behind her. Phryne inhaled deeply and released a long breath before walking calmly down the corridor and heading back downstairs, trying to ignore the feelings of guilt and anxiety she was experiencing.
By the time Dot returned to the parlour five minutes later, Phryne had re-written her first draft of the letter she had been working on, and was beginning to peruse the first letter on the final stack of her correspondence. She looked up at Dot with a warm expression and offered her the letter, which she accepted, before taking up a seat opposite Phryne.
"Well, Dot" Phryne began gently, her voice calm and focused despite the anxiety she was currently battling, "what do you make of that?"
When Jack arrived back at the house a couple of hours later, he had not known what to expect. He had not received a phone call from Dot to voice her concern for Phryne which, whilst slightly reassuring, did not ease all of his anxiety relating to her well-being. The emotionally charged discussion with Mrs Stanley about her pregnancy had clearly caused Phryne's doubts over her ability to be a mother to return to her, which, combined with her uncertainty over the practicalities they would need to consider in terms of raising their child, had overwhelmed her completely. And Jack desperately wanted to reassure her. As he stepped into the house and closed the door behind him, he had not known what he would find, or how Phryne would be. However, before he had even removed his coat, the sound of his wife's voice and the voice of her companion from the parlour sought to quell some of his immediate anxieties. Jack removed his hat and coat and hung them up, before walking towards the parlour and standing in the doorway, prompting Phryne to turn immediately towards him.
"Hello, Jack" she said warmly, as she lowered the documents she was holding onto her lap and looked up at him with bright, tired eyes. "How are things at the docks? Anything interesting?" she asked. Jack considered her for a moment, his eyes drifting over her quickly, before walking into the room.
"Uh, no" he returned simply. "A man's body was found in the water during a violent protest at the docks" he explained. "It was discovered by the Police who arrived in response to the fight" he stated.
"I see" Phryne returned, leaning back in her chair and looking up at him with interest. "Do you believe the death to be related to the protest?" she asked curiously.
"We don't know yet" Jack explained. "We haven't yet been able to identify the victim" he stated. "Though it was clearly murder" he added. "The victim was hit over the back of the head repeatedly with some kind of heavy, blunt object" he explained. Phryne nodded.
"Perhaps I could be of some assistance to you in the morning?" she offered tentatively. Jack nodded.
"Of course" he replied. Phryne smiled.
"Thank you" she said sincerely. A small smile played on Jack's lips. Although he doubted that she was absolutely fine, she was certainly considerably less anxious and distraught than she had been earlier that day. And that was a start.
Dot, who had been sitting opposite Phryne and reading the papers to a case they were working on, closed the file and rose from her seat.
"Would you mind if I head home, Miss?" Dot asked gently. Phryne looked up at her with a kind expression. In truth, she wouldn't have 'minded' if Dot went home several hours ago, though from their conversation during the afternoon and over dinner, it seemed apparent that Jack had requested she remain with her.
"Of course not, Dot" Phryne responded warmly, before rising from her seat. "I'll drive you" she stated. Dot, who knew how tired Miss Phryne was, was about to politely decline when the Inspector interceded.
"Actually, Constable Collins is waiting outside" he explained. "I managed to pull him away before O'Shaughnessy had him pull yet another double shift." Dot looked up at Jack with a grateful expression.
"Thank you, Inspector" she said warmly, before turning towards Phryne. "Bye, Miss. I'll see you in the morning." Phryne nodded in response and smiled warmly at her companion.
"Goodnight" she called, as Dot walked out of the parlour and into the corridor. The front door opened and closed behind her a few moments later, and when Jack turned back towards his wife, he was unsurprised to find her yawning.
"Are you alright?" he asked gently. Phryne lowered her hand from her mouth and met his gaze with tired eyes.
"I'm fine" she replied sincerely, offering him a small smile. Jack considered her for a moment before nodding.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked tentatively, knowing that Phryne would confide in him when she felt ready.
Phryne considered the question for a moment, and whilst the honest answer was 'yes', she wasn't ready, not just yet. There were still some things she needed to consider and establish before she spoke openly with Jack.
"Not tonight" she said quietly. Jack nodded gently in response.
"Alright" he said warmly, before placing one hand on her arm, and looking into her tired eyes. "You're exhausted" he said quietly. Phryne offered him a small smile.
"I'm fine" she responded gently.
"You need to sleep" he stated, his voice low and kind.
"I need to work" she replied, gesturing to the papers on the table beside her, before raising her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. Jack glanced at Phryne's bandaged hand for a moment and removed his hand from her arm, placing it tenderly upon her waist.
"I need to change your bandage, Miss Fisher" he said gently, as Phryne lowered her injured hand from her mouth and stared at it.
"I'd almost forgotten" she said quietly, mentally noting that emotionally fraught conversations with her aunt did wonders for pain relief. Or at least, distraction from pain. She should patent it.
"I hope you aren't going to be a difficult patient" Jack teased lightly, prompting Phryne to look up at him with a small smile.
"Difficult? Me?" she replied, feigning surprise, before adopting a calm and serene expression and nodding. "Of course not, Jack" she assured him. Jack nodded and looked upon her with a warm expression, before walking towards her and standing by her side, and offering her his arm.
"Shall we?" he asked. Phryne smiled gently in response and linked her arm through his, returning his reassuring glance with a grateful expression, as she leaned against him and allowed him to lead her towards the staircase.
Jack and Phryne walked upstairs and into their bedroom, with Jack turning on the lights as they entered, and closing the door behind them. They then walked into the bathroom, and Phryne perched on the edge of the bath as Jack gathered the items he required, before washing his hands and tending to Phryne's hand as per Mac's instructions. After having removed the bandage and dressing, Jack realised that the burn, which was certainly second degree, showed signs of healing and did not appear to be infected. He considered the wound for a moment and looked up at Phryne.
"Are you in pain?" he asked gently.
"No" she responded quietly. Jack stared at her and, after a moment of silence in which she felt his eyes upon her, she looked up and met his gaze. "Only a little" she admitted. Jack nodded in understanding, before turning on the tap.
"Can you put your hand under here for a minute?" he asked. Phryne nodded obediently and placed her hand beneath the cold water, which soothed her burning skin.
The pain, whilst present, was bearable and, indeed, had taken a back seat due to the day's events. Phryne found her mind drifting back towards the exchange with her aunt once more as the cold water ran over her hand. It was only when Jack turned off the tap a minute or so later that she was drawn from her thoughts.
Jack continued to tend to Phryne's injury, drying her hand carefully but thoroughly before applying the cream and putting on a fresh dressing and bandage. Phryne noticed how gentle he was with her, how careful in his ministrations and mindful of her injury. Despite the internal turmoil she was currently experiencing, and the pain in her right hand, Phryne found that Jack's presence calmed her somewhat, and reassured her immeasurably, as it always did. But it did not alleviate her fears or self-doubt, and it did not even touch upon her guilt. By the time Jack had finished tending to her injury, her mind was ablaze with the memory of the conversation of her aunt, which not even her exhaustion could free her of, even for a moment. Jack, sensing her tiredness, sat on the edge of the bath beside her, an action which caused her to blink herself from her thoughts and turn towards him immediately.
"You're tired, Miss Fisher" Jack said gently. "The last few days have been difficult and rather long, and I think we'd both benefit from an early night" he explained, looking upon her with a tender expression.
Jack knew that, considering Phryne's disposition and the events of the day, his attempts to convince her to rest would be aided by the assurance of his presence beside her. Although he knew the events of the day would still be playing heavily on her mind, she was not ready to address them yet, and the best thing that could be done for her and the baby under the circumstances was for her to rest. The last couple of days had been particularly stressful for her, which could have a negative impact on both her and their child. He looked into her eyes and watched as she considered the suggestion – and possibly some potential counterarguments – before nodding slowly and offering him a small smile.
"Very well, Jack" she said quietly, before slowly rising from her position on the edge of the bathtub, which Jack did too. "Thank you" she said sincerely. Jack nodded immediately in response.
"You are most welcome, Miss Fisher" he replied. Phryne smiled nervously in response and nodded, before walking out of the bathroom and heading into the bedroom.
A short while later Phryne and Jack had both changed and prepared themselves for bed, and were turning off the small lights in the room before getting into bed.
As soon as the lights were off and the room was silent, Phryne found that the fears which had plagued her, and which she had been able to keep relatively at bay for the last few hours, returned to her with renewed strength. She inhaled deeply and got into bed beneath the sheets, slowly edging across the bed and towards Jack who, being aware of her anxiety, moved closer to her and placed his arm around her waist. They were both silent as Phryne leaned into Jack and placed her hand upon his chest, pressing her head to the pillow in the space beside his neck. She felt him tilt his head down slightly so that his forehead was pressed lightly against her head, before placing a gentle kiss upon the top of her head. Phryne found the gesture soothing, and instinctively leaned closer to him, pressing their bodies together, which Jack responded to by drawing his hand from her waist to the centre of her back and pulling her close. Jack heard Phryne's breath hitch as her swollen stomach pressed lightly against his, and found his heart racing at the contact, as a feeling akin to excitement spread throughout his body. However, realising her anxiety, Jack drew his arm tighter across her and held her close, rubbing her back soothingly as she leaned against him. Despite her fears and anxieties, Phryne's exhaustion overcame her, and after a few minutes Jack heard the low, rhythmic sound of her breathing, which revealed that she had fallen asleep. Jack, feeling relieved at this fact, found himself relaxing against the pillows, and allowed sleep to claim him too.
After sleeping soundly for a few hours, Phryne's rest was interrupted by her subconscious, which forced her to recall snapshots of her conversation with her aunt, which drew her further towards the conscious plane. She had managed to suppress the memories initially, her exhaustion and her semi-consciousness banishing the notions after the initial wave of terror. But as the hours drew on, the memories became strong and more frequent until, shortly after three o'clock in the morning, Phryne found her eyes snapping open, and she was immediately awake.
Phryne's breathing was unstable and erratic, and the memory she had been experiencing (which she could no longer recall) had caused her to feel nauseous and terrified. Her whole body felt as though it were afflicted by an intense heat; her eyes were wide, her stomach in knots, her heart racing. She took in a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself, as her eyes became accustomed to the dark, and she realised that she was lying in the exact same position she had fallen asleep in. Phryne felt Jack's arm around her waist and his head resting on the pillow just above hers. Her hand, which had been on his chest, was now on the pillow, which she was holding onto with an iron grip. Feeling anxious and unsettled and unable to go back to sleep, Phryne gently removed Jack's arm from her body and slowly sat up, before easing herself out of bed and picking up the red robe which was close at hand. As she pulled on her robe and secured it, Phryne glanced towards the bed, and noted with relief that Jack appeared to be still sound asleep. She exhaled deeply and swallowed hard, before walking quietly across the room and towards the door, which she opened slowly, creeping out onto the landing and closing it gently behind her.
Phryne crossed her arms across her chest and rubbed her right forearm gently as she made her way across the landing and towards the staircase, which she crept down quietly. As she felt the cold tiles of the hallway floor beneath her feet, Phryne turned left and headed into her parlour, turning on the light and partially closing the door to ensure that the light from the room did not wake anyone. The bright light of the parlour, which was so different to the darkness of her bedroom, prompted her to raise a hand to her eyes as she slowly made her way towards the chair she had occupied earlier the previous evening. After a few moments Phryne's eyes had adjusted to the dark, and she found all remnants of sleep departing from her almost instantly, as memories of her conversation with her aunt played on an incessant loop in her mind, where she suspected they had been doing so for several hours whilst she had been asleep. Phryne, who felt anxious and on edge, did not feel able to think clearly enough to consider the matter in the detail required, but equally, she had absolutely no desire or inclination to sleep. And so, she quickly decided that she would act in the same manner she had done the evening before, in order to occupy her mind until she was able to confront her fears and concerns which arose following the conversation with her aunt: by distracting herself with her work. Phryne leaned towards the table and picked up the last letter she had been working on before Jack returned home, drawing it towards her and staring at it with tired eyes, as she began to continue her work.
Half an hour later Jack, who had not realised that Phryne had left, stretched his left arm across the bed, feeling the cool sheets against his skin. Something stirred inside him and he slowly opened his eyes, before moving his arm unsteadily across the bed and realising that his wife was no longer there. Jack pressed his hand to the mattress and sat up immediately, blinking a few times and rubbing his eyes as he adjusted his vision to the dark, before looking around the room. There was no light from beneath the bathroom door, and the bedroom was quiet and still and shrouded in darkness. Jack sat still for a moment and listened in the darkness, hoping he would hear something which would give an indication of where she was. He did not. And so, after a few moments, Jack pushed the covers aside and got tiredly out of bed, picking up his dark blue robe and putting it on as he walked towards the bedroom door and opened it, stepping into the corridor as his wife had done a short while before, and heading towards the staircase. Jack made his way quietly down the stairs, realising by the time he reached the half way point that there was a light on in the parlour, which cast a yellow pool of light across the tiled floor. He inhaled lightly and walked across the cold floor, blinking away the remaining remnants of his tiredness, before slowly pushing the parlour door open.
Phryne had been so focused upon her work, and on ignoring the anxiety which was rising within her, that she did not hear Jack upon the staircase or in the corridor. It was only when she heard Jack calling her name that she was startled from her thoughts, and turned towards him immediately.
"Phryne?" Jack asked gently, his eyes drifting over her, taking in the sight of her sitting with one leg tucked under her as she made notes in a notebook on the table. "Is everything alright?" he asked, slowly walking towards her. Phryne, seeming surprised and slightly embarrassed, nodded instinctively in response.
"Yes, of course" she replied quietly, before putting the lid on her fountain pen and resting it upon the table. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't wake you?"
"No" Jack assured her, as he walked towards her and sat on the edge of the armchair besides her. He looked at her pale features, her bright eyes and light pink lips, and saw through the confident expression she was attempting to adopt. "You couldn't sleep" he said simply. Phryne swallowed and shook her head slightly.
"No" she confirmed.
"Why didn't you wake me?" he asked gently. Phryne looked up at him with a confused expression.
"Why would I do that?" she asked quietly. "I didn't want to disturb you" she added, seeming embarrassed.
"Phryne" Jack said gently, his voice low and soothing, as she looked back up towards him and met his gaze. "If you're upset or worried I want you disturb me" he stated, watching as her gaze faltered and she lowered her eyes. "You've never had trouble doing so before" he teased, earning a small smile from Phryne. "Have you been awake for long?" he asked. Phryne shook her head.
"Half an hour or so" she replied, looking back up at him and meeting his gaze. Jack nodded slowly in response.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked tentatively. Phryne found the words causing her anxiety to increase and her stomach to clench at the prospect. Her gaze fell from Jack's and she appeared visibly uncomfortable. "It's alright" Jack assured her, sensing her discomfort speaking before she could respond. "Do you feel ready to come back to bed?" he asked gently.
"I'm not tired" Phryne replied quietly, meeting his gaze as she spoke. "I can't sleep" she added. Jack nodded in understanding.
"I'm not asking you to go back to sleep" he said, his voice kind and soothing, and having a familiarly soothing effect upon Phryne. "Why don't you come back to bed and just lie with me?" he asked gently, hoping that if she could not sleep, she would at least be able to become more relaxed and rested than she would be if she continued to work through the night. As he looked back at her, she appeared to be considering what to do, her eyes drifting from him to her work. Jack waited patiently until she had decided, when a brief nod of her head indicated her assent. "Thank you" he said warmly, before standing up and holding out his hand, which she accepted. She took a few steps towards him and looked up at him with a worried and slightly embarrassed expression. "It's alright" Jack assured her, sensing her anxiety which, at this stage, was almost palpable. "Everything is going to be alright" he assured her. Phryne swallowed hard and offered him a weak smile, before allowing him to lead her from the room and turn the light out behind her.
A few minutes later Phryne and Jack were back in their bedroom beneath the covers, lying in the same position they had been just a short while before. Phryne edged forward slightly, so that her body was pressed against Jack, who drew her closer in response. She felt his arm wrapped protectively around her waist, his hand placed comfortingly in the centre of her lower back, as he held her to him. She could feel his heart beating against her chest, and she could tell from his breathing that he was still awake. As she lay beside him and considered his kindness towards her, and his attempts to comfort her even though she hadn't yet been able to confide in him fully, she felt her fear and guilt return to her once more, as parts of the conversation with her aunt echoed in her mind once more. Phryne felt tears begin to form in her eyes, causing them to burn, as the fear and self-doubt which had such a strong hold upon her felt as though it would consume her completely.
"What if she's right?" Phryne asked suddenly, her voice quiet and choked. She felt Jack stir slightly as she uttered her fears into the darkness. "What if I can't be a mother?" she added, as a tear fell from her eye, drifting down her cheek and onto the pillow. She felt Jack's hand rub her back soothingly as he drew her closer, adjusting his head so that they were facing each other, his bright eyes meeting hers in the darkness.
"Phryne, I promise you that's not true" Jack stated with conviction, his voice clear and confident, as his hand drifted from the centre of her lower back and onto her abdomen, causing her breath to hitch. "The fact that you are so worried about making the right decisions and ensuring that the baby is taken care of demonstrates not only your maternal instincts but your ability to be a mother" he explained. "I know you're afraid, and I know that your fears have increased considerably following the conversation with your aunt, but there is no doubt in my mind that you will be an incredible mother" he added. "Because you already are" he assured her, feeling her tense slightly as her breath hitched once more. "I can't even begin to tell you how lucky this baby is to have you" he continued, as he splayed his fingers across her abdomen and stroked it tenderly. "So am I" he whispered.
Phryne, who had listened attentively to Jack's words and was deeply touched by them, looked into his eyes as she placed her hand upon his waist.
"Do you really believe that?" she asked, doubt present in her tone, which was tinged with emotion. "Despite my commitment to my work, my hedonistic social habits, and after I went into the Palace of Eros-"
Jack leaned forwards and silenced Phryne's words with a kiss to the lips, which she responded to instinctively, stroking his back as the kiss deepened. After a few moments Jack broke the kiss, and drew his hand from her abdomen to her cheek, as he stared deep into her eyes.
"I mean every word" he assured her, his voice gently and sincere. "I believe it with every fibre of my being" he continued. "And I promise you, Phryne, I am going to help you believe it too" he stated with conviction, before pressing a kiss upon her forehead and drawing her towards him, placing his arm protectively around her once more.
Jack held Phryne close to him for several minutes, holding her in the silence of their dark bedroom, as he felt her chest rise and fall against his. He knew that their conversation would not reassure her completely, perhaps not at all, but the fact that she had initiated a discussion into the matter was reassuring. As was the fact that the woman in question, despite having been in tears minutes before, now lay asleep in his arms.
