Why do I wanna be the one to make Blake happy?
It was a question that was stuck in Ruby's head since the tabletop game the other day, the intense feeling of happiness mixed with something else, the emotions still vivid. Happiness, Ruby could understand, who doesn't want to see their friends happy after all? But that other feeling… that was new.
The swell of joy at Blake's goofy smile, the small daydream wish that Ruby had been the reason… that was what made her wonder.
It's not entirely new though.
There were other instances of this feeling; it was hard for Ruby to put her finger on when she had first started to feel it around Blake. It was like a warmth enveloped her, it made her feel giddy. Any time spent with Blake was just more… fun.
Sure, Ruby could hang out with Weiss or Jaune and it'd be fun, but the experience didn't quite have the same appeal to it. There was some kind of invisible force drawing Ruby to Blake and she couldn't comprehend it.
True, the two were very close friends, but it was more than that now. Friends didn't end up sleeping in a tangle of limbs together, admittedly on a non-regular basis. Just being friends didn't answer why Ruby felt drawn to Blake in a way she hadn't felt with anyone else. It didn't answer why whenever Yang teased her, Ruby felt her face turn redder then her cape.
Deep down, Ruby knew a reason why she'd felt this way, in fact she could admit to herself that might even have a bit of a tiny crush on Blake.
Is that what this is? A crush?
True, Yang had teased her about how close Blake and her were getting, but Ruby never even thought she had a crush on the black haired teen. Blake and I just end up in a lot of weird situations is all, like whenever Gambol Shroud wraps around us or we can only find one bed…
Just thinking of those instances made Ruby feel heat rising to her cheeks. Am I blushing just from remembering that stuff? Sure, Ruby could wave away the fact that it was nice to cuddle with Blake, the taller teen just happened to be a perfect cuddle partner when the odd occasion occurred. Ruby could write that off as just being forced to do so by circumstances, if that was only the case.
Then why do I keep wishing I could always cuddle with her?
Ever since Yang had pointed out the penchant for Ruby and Blake to end up curled up and sleeping together, Ruby kept having random thoughts of it at night. At first she had thought nothing of it except that Yang had just been teasing her but now…
The thought of Blake holding her as they read together was something that made Ruby feel very, very happy.
But the only people who do that are people that like-like each other and I don't… or do I?
I have a crush on Blake. Ruby could finally admit it to herself. That led to a whole myriad of feelings: confusion, nervousness, fear and hopeful.
Confusion was the easiest to figure out why; what do I do next? D-d-do I just ask her out?
The prospect of that made Ruby… nervous.
Nervous that it'd change the cozy friendship they had, that change might in fact be bad for what they had. Their friendship had been an involved process to be sure; Blake was no longer the same person that Ruby had met the night before Initiation. Instead, she was less quiet –if only marginally- and was just… happier.
The fear was easy enough to identify as well; how am I supposed to act around Blake now!? The quietly reading teen sitting next to her, Ruby's best friend was now her crush. That changed everything. To say fear was running thoughts through Ruby's mind at a mile a minute was an understatement. The fears of their friendship falling apart because of a stupid, stupid crush!
Through the plethora of feelings, there was one however that did make Ruby feel happy: hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, Ruby could act on those happy thoughts she had, that Blake and her could get closer. That Ruby would no longer just have to fondly remember cuddling with Blake, but could do it in reality. That maybe Blake felt the same way about her – the thought of that made Ruby's stomach do a barrel roll. That if all the stars were aligned that she could be something more than just friends with Blake.
Yet fear returned; what if Blake doesn't feel the same way? There was so many ways that it could go wrong that Ruby couldn't even count them all: What if she doesn't like me the same way? What if Blake is grossed out and never wants to talk to me again or quits or moves to another team? What if she doesn't even like girls?
When the thoughts finally started to calm down, Ruby reached a decision on what she was going to do. There was something that Ruby wanted to know before doing anything else – be that acting on her feelings or ignoring them.
Does Blake feel the same way about me?
AU: I'm baaaaaack~
Sorry for taking bloody forever. I had this chapter somewhat done around Feburary 11th aaaaand then finale and my muse died and I pretty much didn't write for a week besides sad things and honestly almost decided to leave the fandom entirely.
So yeah. Same ol' same ol'.
On a happier note, Dilation broke 700 follows today and a week or so ago it broke 200,000 views. Thank you for all the support you peeps have given me, it means a lot! :D
Decided to finally get my butt in gear a few hours ago, and several rewrites later, we have this! THE PLOT IS ACTUALLY MOVING. Scary, no?
Over the past few months the rate at which chapters have come out as seriously declined and I'm sorry for that (I think I apologize for this every chapter now, but it doesn't change the fact that I AM sorry about it). There is a reason for it, and the big purple elephant in the room I've been trying to avoid.
I tend to use reviews as a way to gauge success. Lack of reviews are the surest way to discourage any author. Several chapters, several in a row actually, what I was getting was nowhere near what I had been getting. Which is partially what killed my drive and I feel like made my overall quality go down. It's sort of why I've only maybe a handful a month as opposed to usual weekly or more commonly twice a week updates I used to do.
I haven't exactly said this before because I don't want to seem like I'm a whining little bitch, but at the same time the wait between chapters keep getting longer and longer - this chapter and last was more than half a month, almost an entire month in fact. I just feel like you guys and gals should know WHY it takes me so long.
As always, thanks for reading and have a wonderful day! :D
