"Whenever we dream out loud, we're criticized for being foolish by people who really have no idea how special we are. As a result, we crush our dreams without giving them half a chance."

-Barbara Sher

Forty-Six: Close to Arbor

"People are starting to whisper about the girl still being here." The whiny voice was only barely daring to protest, the top of the staff of two heads all that was visible as it bobbed up and down between words. "With Rin I think they just sort of accepted it cause she's only a child but with Kagome…well…there is talk that you are betraying your heritage with a priestess."

"From whom?" Sesshomaru asked darkly, he was tired of these whispers…not that he could argue them with any conviction he truly felt. A part of him almost regretted saving Kagome from those woods in the first place. "I will not tolerate further betrayal."

"Just some of the troops mi…milord…not me of course." The imp straightened to his full three feet two inches after getting over his stutter. "I know that you would never lessen your family's illustrious blood by even considering such a dirty human. Priestess or not I reassured them that you only keep her here because training her is a great way to have a warrior against other demon armies."

"How did they react?" He had a chance to consider that, the excuses that Jaken could come up with on his own was definitely one of the reasons to keep him around as an advisor.

"They of course agreed that it was a wise course. Many of the demons that had met Kagome or felt a bit of her power had to agree that she would make a dangerous asset against our enemies." Jaken was probably standing up on his toes cause a little of his sickly green head and bulbous eyes had become visible on the other side of the desk.

"Good. Keep your eyes and ears open for further complaints. You are dismissed." He commented coolly, this was a great excuse after all. At least it was a reminder as to why he continued to keep Jaken around. He couldn't openly get irritated with his underlings or justify himself directly - that would only make him seem weak.

He leaned back in his chair after Jaken left the room acting as his office…there was so much he needed to consider after the night before…yet he had time for very little in these times of treachery. He pushed much off on Jaken and some of his other workers, Saiya had taken on many extra responsibilities just so the seer could remain busy after the loss of her brother.

Though Kagome was his largest issue.

He knew he couldn't keep her here forever, she had her own responsibilities and life…yet, he didn't want to let her go; at least not yet. She didn't owe him anything - or at least he didn't think so. Some people might consider the fact that he had saved her life on multiple occasions something she might be in debt for. He wasn't concerned with that, he was more distracted as to his own intentions toward the female teenager.

"Even if I decided to take her as a consort…" Sesshomaru pondered idly as he leaned back over the desk and tapped his quill near the side of the parchment he was suppose to be reading and signing. "…mortals have short lives…she would be gone while I was still in my prime. I could find another mate with which to make a full blooded heir."

His thoughts only made him frown, not only at the fact that they were something he should consider inappropriate - also because the idea of Kagome's death bothered him. Even if it was something that would occur years in the future, much like Rin's passing - it was an eventually that even his sword couldn't solve. Just another reminder that the sword his father had passed to him was more of an insult as opposed to any sort of useful weapon or tool. What worth was it if it couldn't hold those mortals he did care for close to him forever?

"My father was such a disgraceful fool." He muttered to himself and set the parchments aside - he wouldn't be able to concentrate to work. "I'm just wondering if all my troops and the rumors aren't closer to the truth than I care to admit. Perhaps the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"It shouldn't matter to me what they think. What the society of demons thinks of me has never been of the highest importance and it isn't as if I do care to justify myself to anyone." He closed his eyes, it was still so easy to remember how soft her lips were. "How many years has it been sense I've shared a bed with a woman? Too many…or I probably would be thinking more clearly about this."

He had always been advised to take on a harem or at least a few discreet consorts as he got older, that spending time with a woman on occasion would help him remain clear-headed and relaxed. He'd never much liked the suggestion and had only bothered with mating on very rare occasions, he was not a man that gave into his desires, he didn't need to have weak women clinging to him in hopes of the scraps of power sharing his bed might bring. It was always more effort than the end result could have possibly been worth.

After the way Kagome had pressed her young body against him the night before…he was starting to see the wisdom of having such a set of persons in his service. When other younger students had made comments about women he'd never really understood. Desire was a part of life for a demon, but physical desire had never been one of his vices - though now he was starting to wonder if he wasn't just a late bloomer.

Memories of the way other male demons would describe their possessiveness and basic need for the female of their interest were coming back with a familiarity that was bothersome. He wasn't some hapless pup…he was the lord of the west, this childish lusting was below him.

"I wanted to kiss you."

She sounded so sad when he'd rejected her. Then she was off and being crazy, but for that moment she had touched him…and as much as he hated to admit it…he did enjoy that short embrace they'd shared.

He pushed himself to a stand, walking across his office and then ignoring any passerby as he moved back over to Kagome's room. Knocking before letting himself in, he could hear her moving the water around in her bath and picked her scent up immediately coming from the attached room. At least she was awake.

"Now, just a matter of what I actually say." He stood near her window, looking out over the forests of his domain. The trees were well into spring now, many of them with green leaves now but a few still with just the buds of the time of year. "Approaching a mortal was definitely never a skill I was well acquainted with."

He was still considering what his words would be, or in fact if there would be any at all when she came from the bathroom, dressed in the uniform from her time. Her hair was still wet, dripping along one shoulder and dampening her shirt.

"Why does she insist on wearing that outfit anyway?" He thought idly. "It isn't as if it leaves much to be wondered about."

He could smell the faintest scent of orchid's clinging to her again, mingling with her own gentle scent and augmenting it pleasantly. She jumped a little when she first saw him.

"Whew…don't do that…I didn't hear you come in." She coughed a couple times when she first jumped, leaning on the doorframe. Her voice was still rough but she was obviously much better than the night before. Though at least her hints of sickness made her much less attractive.

"Are you ready for your lessons or do you need more time to recover?" He asked coolly, dropping back into his neutral personality because that's all he knew.

"I should be all right as long as we don't overdo it." She smiled and sat on the edge of her bed to put her socks and shoes on. "I…I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to seem so forward. I was just…all this has been hard to deal with…I think I just wanted to be close to someone. I shouldn't have taken advantage of your hospitality."

"She took advantage of me?" He pondered in amusement.

"It's not an issue." He shrugged lightly. "It is a more difficult time for mortals when people pass on."

"Of course it is." She had to frown a little, so much for the kinder Sesshomaru she'd seen for a moment the night before. "Demon's don't live forever, doesn't the idea of death bother you?"

"I have millennia of years before I would die of old age…the majority of demons die in battle ages before they would die such a dishonorable death." Sesshomaru explained, turning back from the window to consider the wide eyed girl.

"You'll live to be thousands of years old?" She asked in surprise. "That's…just insane. How old are you now?"

"I am somewhere in my fifth century at the moment. The equivalent of late teenage years for a human from what I was taught." He explained, her surprise was odd even if she wasn't originally from this world. She knew that Inuyasha was nearly a hundred when she traveled with him.

"Wow…that's just…you've seen the world for such a long time…" She commented as she thought about it, sure Inuyasha had been old compared to her…but this was a whole new story. "…that's so neat."

"I don't consider it much." He replied honestly, still watching her honest fascination. "I have much that needs to be done at all times and a demon never knows when another might rise against them and take them down. You were witness to the most recent attempts at my life."

"Yeah…but…" She shook her head. "I can't imagine anyone actually defeating you…I guess I used to hope Inuyasha might kick your butt sometimes but you are so strong. You were always a different level of power than any other demon we were up against. Even Naraku ran away from you a few times…you were ah…well…it doesn't matter. You know you are strong. You don't need me to go on and point it out."

She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, blushing a little. "Great Kagome, way to make him feel like the kiss was an accident. Just go on about how amazing he is and then assure him you aren't at all interested. Stupid."

He watched her blush, picking up various emotions along with the scents she gave off easier than one might expect from a man as un-empathetic as Lord Sesshomaru. She certainly thought well enough of him…the mention of Inuyasha was bothersome but could be tolerated in the circumstances. He knew he was a demon among demons, but he had so far to go that he couldn't completely take her words in as a true compliment.

"Are you certain you are well?" He finally asked when she stayed silent and continued to blush.

"Yes, I just…" She hesitated…she wanted to ask him if the kiss had meant anything…but it was so difficult. She had been rejected by Inuyasha and somehow mentally raped by Rimida if Saiya was being honest, her love life was a disaster…why would it change if she wanted to be stupid and go after someone as cold as Sesshomaru? "well not really. I think I should go home for a while after all. I'm not really physically ill but I have things I'll need to catch up on. I think without a guard I should be okay, I still remember a lot of the training I had and with a bow and some arrows I could make it over to the well fine by myself."

"On foot that travel would be a little over a week." Sesshomaru pointed out, watching her as she seemed nervous again. "With all that has been happening I couldn't let you go alone. Why the sudden change?"

"I miss my family." She replied, it wasn't completely honest but she wasn't lying. "I think that you just need some time to work on the problems you have here. I'm only in the way and it would be better if I left for a while."

"This is because of what happened on the balcony last night." He pointed out, he wasn't stupid and someone that was emotionally dead could reason the truth behind her change of heart. "I didn't mean to hurt you Kagome."

He knew it wasn't something he would normally say, he couldn't even keep his neutral expression…this damn mortal was getting to him.

"It's…there is more to it." She shook her head. "I'm just confused right now. So much has happened…I think it'd be good for me to be in more familiar surroundings for a while. I don't want to leave forever, but I want a break from this world for a while."

He didn't want her to leave, that much was for certain…but it wasn't his place to stop her. He was still so unsure himself of his thoughts on Kagome. "I will send Jaken and Ah-Un to accompany you then. Can you wait until they have things prepared?"

She smiled to him at that, openly appreciative of what he was doing. "Yes, Thank you for the spared help. I know it's a hard time to let anyone go."

"It is." He agreed, though he wasn't thinking about anyone outside of the room. "I'll let people know, stay well on your trip Kagome."

End Chapter

Dammit! The moment I think I'm getting this toward an ending…my characters go 'bwahahaha' and argue with where I originally wanted to take things. I swear I am moving this fiction toward a close…just…happened to sidetrack a little longer than initially expected. I think I like to make myself pull hairs…anyway…hope folks enjoy the chapter.

-Aura

P.S. Nay, Rimida shall not be back (in this fiction anyway). He has passed on protecting the woman he loved.