No Denying It
"So this… This was fun. Yeah?"
He's off to Siberia in two hours, but Bucky hasn't been to his apartment since some time after ten last night. He would argue that it's because Clint's is closer to the tower (except it's not) and that Clint makes a better breakfast (which he doesn't), but the real reason for him being there is… complicated. At least, it looks like it's about to be. "Sure. Always is."
"No, that's what I…" Clint folds his arms. Then he unfolds them. Then he grabs a coffee mug and almost takes a drink from it. Bucky waits, still chewing on a piece of pancake. "This whole… thing we had," Clint continues. "I enjoyed it. A lot. And I just, uh… Thanks, I guess."
Swallowing down pancake and laughter, Bucky says, "You're welcome?" When Clint turns to actually fill the mug with coffee, he adds, "Am I supposed to make a little speech now too?"
"What?" That Clint doesn't spill any coffee as he turns so quickly is a testimony to how often he has a mug in his hands. "No, you don't have to make a - that was a speech?"
Bucky shrugs. "Sounded like one."
"Well it wasn't. I know you're coming back from Siberia, and I'll see you at the tower, so what's the point in saying goodbye, right?"
Something about his words registers in Bucky's mind, and he rests his fork on his plate. "Okay, two things: I never said it sounded like a goodbye speech, and what do you mean 'I'll see you at the tower'?"
Clint breathes "Aw, crap," so quietly Bucky almost misses it, and stares hard into the mug, thumb stroking the rim as he gathers his thoughts. "I meant that the tower's the only space we really share outside our apartments," he says slowly. "Now Siberia's come up for you, something else might come up for me, or another thing for you…" When he looks up, his face is emotionless. "We were just killing time, Bucky."
For a moment, Bucky doesn't understand what Clint is saying - once he does, he can feel everything backfiring spectacularly, and no, the last thing he wants is to go to Siberia feeling like shit. "Really?" he challenges. "'Killing time', that's what we were doing?"
"Well what else?"
Standing, Bucky pushes back the impulse to shout. "I could've done a lot of things after the briefing yesterday," he says, eyes on Clint. "I could've gone to the gym with Steve. I could've watched an old film with Natasha. I could've stayed with Hill and Fury and gone over finer details of the plan. But I did none of that; I went home, I packed, and I came straight here to you."
"Shut up."
"You know why I did that, Clint?"
"Bucky, don't."
"Because the thought of not seeing you for five weeks -"
"No, shut up - I'm not listening!" Clint actually pulls out his hearing aids, and Bucky advances, taking Clint's head between his hands and holding their gazes level.
"Look me in the - dammit, Clint!" He waits, both of them frozen, for Clint to open his eyes again, gentling his touch a fraction until that moment. Calmly, slowly, he says once more: "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't care."
He holds his stare for five seconds before slipping. "I don't -"
Bucky kisses him. It's quick, because he doesn't want Clint to think he's after sex again, but standing so close together, foreheads almost touching, Bucky realises he's caught Clint off-guard. "I didn't come here just for sex," he says, stepping back with no small amount of reluctance. "But if that's all it ever was for you, then I can - I… Shit…"
"You wan' some more pancakes?"
Looking up, Bucky sees Clint smiling, putting his hearing aids back into place. His own smile is hesitant. "Yeah… I mean, I don't want to waste your ingredients -"
Clint scoffs. "My pancakes are shitty," he says, grabbing both their coats from the sofa.
"Oh." He takes his coat, and Clint touches his hand; barely two heartbeats later they're kissing again, and it's different than usual, the best kind of different, and shot-up memory aside, Bucky's pretty sure he's never felt so relieved in his life.
AN: Prompt: "Use the sentence "look me in the eye and tell me you don't care" for Winterhawk!"
